When did your man help with taking care of the baby?

He has helped from the beginning even when I was on maternity leave. It’s so exhausting and I couldn’t imagine having to do it by myself. I’m so sorry you or anyone else going through that. That sucks :slightly_frowning_face:

My husband helped take care of our son as soon as he was born.

From day 1. He does everything I ask. I have to ask or remind him though. With feedings and changing diapers, he’ll do it without asking if he sees that the baby needs it and I’m not available at that moment. With our first daughter, he didn’t do night duties because he worked 5-6 days. His schedule changed so he’s only working 3 days now. With our second daughter, on non-work nights he’ll do half the night. Then if I need sleep during the day, he’ll take over with both girls. If he isn’t with the baby or busy doing chores, he’s playing with our older daughter, feeding her, helps get her ready for school and such. So he’s very much involved. He helps as much as he can on work days. He works 14 hours so he isn’t home until 9:30-10pm (leaves at 6am) and in the 2 hours he’s home until he goes to bed, he tries to do whatever is needed.

Both of mine helped from day one I’m sorry yours isn’t… that’s gotta be hard

My husband was too scared to hold our newborn. After a year of constant complaints from me, he finally took charge. Now that my child is 2, all he wants is daddy. It may take some time, but he didnt have to do anything for the pregnancy so its new to him. Sometimes you just gotta tell him what to do and let him do ot their way. Dont say they are doing it wrong, let them figure it out for themselves.

My husband maybe changed a handful of diapers and never fed my daughter (until she started solids). Not feeding, and doing diapers doesnt equal not caring for baby. Some dads work long hours (mine was often waking up to get ready at 3 or 4am). Some find is gross lol. Sad but true :woman_shrugging:
I suggest looking beyond diapers and feedings. Does he play with baby? Does he talk to baby? Does he take selfies with baby, or hold the baby? Does he go to doctors appoints for the baby, or ask how the baby is doing? These are all ways to care for a baby without the “tough stuff.” I always considered diapers and feedings to be my special time with my baby. We had songs we sang, and made it fun.
If you are really concerned then you need to communicate with him. “I feel unappreciated when you dont help feed/diaper/etc.” And try to find out the reason why, and try to reach a middle ground.

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My SO has been changing diapers and doing feedings since day 1. We split the work evenly… The way it should be.

From birth at the hospital. Cause I didn’t make the kids by myself and I damn sure ain’t gonna raise them by myself.

My husband started the day our girl was born in the hospital. You need to have a conversation with him and voice your concerns and thoughts.

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You talk to him and say hey, pick it up. You’re a parent just as much as I am.

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My husband basically did everything the few days we stayed in the hospital. But after we got home he didn’t help a whole lot. He does work 12 hour night shifts at the jail though. But he does help on his off days and whenever I ask him to!

If he didn’t start in the beginning he’s never going to.

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I do pretty much it all. He works 12hr shifts though. 🤷 he helps when i ask

Some guys never do. My kids father never helped with diapers or bottles or anything… still don’t. I left him and had another baby and my current boyfriend helped me all through pregnancy and still does everything to help me and baby besides at night because breastfeeding and he (baby) sleeps all night

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Bd#1 I had to beg for help. Bs #2 would change and I’d breastfeed at night. That lasted probably about almost 1 month then he started working again.

My so was to scared of hurting both our littles when they were born to do much with helping until they were about 2-4 months old dipending on the child.

My husband helped take care of our son as soon as he was born

Hell no. My husband was great right off the bat. He works ALOT now though so he helps how and when he can when at home.

Straight away… Maybe try talking to your partner and find out how he’s feeling, some men are scared of holding their newborn and worry that they’re going to hurt them… Talk to him and find out how he’s feeling and what he’s thinking… He probably has a reason…

My fiancé helped a lot as soon as we brought her home. He had a week off and we shared duties evenly. Once he went back I did all the night time feedings so he could sleep. When I went back to work we alternated night time feedings. That way we each really only had to wake up once.

My Ol Man helped till our lil girl was about 5 months, seven years later, it’s still just be…I’m thinking about kicking him to the curb…

John’s only one that helped

My husband never hears our baby n he has yet to change a diaper. She’ll be 2 months on Tuesday. We have a 2 year old he would change when she was an infant but that cuz I made him. Now I don’t even bother asking

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Straight away and whenever he can if he isn’t working

Ugh… as soon as that baby came out of your vagina… the only reason he shouldnt be helping is if he is at work. Fuck that shit.

Right away ! And even after a 12 hour work day !

My first BF had nothing to do with our daughters, my current husband has been changing diapers and helping since our son was born.

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From the night our son was born.
He even changed our son’s first ever diaper. 16 months later he’s still being a parent.

All the time from day 2 - day 1 he was a little nervous. But I definitely think you have to chat with him and let him know expectations. Like I do 80% of diapers and he does other things like put him to bed, wake him up etc.

Birth, he took care of baby and me (c-section) while I was loopy. He is as involved as our toddler let’s him be now (total mommas boy). But I have a brother-in-law who is really indifferent when it comes to his kids and only steps in if absolutely necessary.

My husband has been very helpful since beginning but all men are like that

My husband is gone for at least 2 weeks at a time. So I do it all my myself. When he is home he will get up with our son in the middle of the night.

As soon as they were born, he pulled his weight. He does A LOT for our kids

My question is why do you let him get away with not helping :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Uh. Day #1 when baby wouldn’t sleep at night, he would rock him while I slept. Then took his butt to work in the mornings, came home, and took the baby for me again. Not all men are like that, I got lucky. Would he help out if you woke him up and asked him to get the baby?

When they came out. I did not realize there was a wait time

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Try talking with him he may actually be scared.
Then again he may never help.
Pick your battles tho but definitely talk with him.
Do you have anyone to watch baby for a few hours or maybe a night to get some much needed rest.

My ex husband never helped when our children were babies! One of the reasons hes my EX husband!

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Anytime! Except at night because he can’t hear her all that good at night.

Never I did it all as he worked.

My husband doesn’t help. He is a father and a husband we are equal partners and do equal work. It’s his job for him to “help” me as it’s my job for me to “help” him.

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I’d like to tell you it will get better, however, men don’t often understand the toll of being a new mother takes on you. Some are amazing from day one, others are not. Motherhood is exhausting and you need to talk with him about this. Some need it explained before they get it, or if that doesn’t work go on a girls weekend and have him care for your little. I promise he will gain some quick respect for all that you do!

I am going through the same thing. But I don’t let him slide. I tell him to get up and change her diaper, help me give her a bath, get the diaper bag ready etc., I might sound bossy, But I get tired too. He needs to help me.

I think new dad’s get overwhelmed and scared best thing for em is to Chuck em in the deep end, don’t give him a choice be understanding and reassuring but firm 🤷

Since birth. Even when he went back to work. On his two days off he would get up at night to take care of her. When he got off work he would come in the door scoop her up and help with her… there was never a time he wasn’t helping.

My oldest son he helped with him as soon as he was born except at night because he worked n plus he could not hear him cry. He crying was very low where u could barely hear him. My second son he did the same thing. Except at nights he could hear him. But if I wouldn’t let him get up in the night n help because he worked long hours. My third son he was the same thing. But he does alot when he can. With everything and we are expecting our fourth son so it probably be the same. Which is fine. But on his days off he’s gets up in the middle of the night and take care of them. Since I need rest to. And my husband sometimes gets grossed out from diapers. But I always tell him if u can skin and degut a deer u can do this. But We believe in team work. Because they all are both of ours not just mine or his. Maybe sitting down and working out a system will help both of y’all. But I will say it’s not easy. But coummcation is the key of telling him on how you feel. And that you do need help at times.

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For me, my husband works 8am to 9-10 pm sometimes even longer… so i never asked him to help me… even the sleepless nights i did on my own… atleast i was at home and could rest but he had to work… when he is at home on weekends, he does look after the baby while i work…

My husband looked after the baby completely for 5 days when we were in the hospital (i had a c-section) all i did was holding her for a few minutes…

My husband works and I stay home with our daughter so I’ve always done literally everything.

My husband helped from the minute they came into the world. Changed diapers, helped with baths, he did everything except feeding since I nursed.

If you don’t want negativity , better not to post this. How is he going to feel if he sea your post? Will it help? I doubt it.

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It depends on the man. My experience the first year has always been all mom for 90 percent of the care. My oldest is 27 and youngest is 8 months. It has not changed.

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My first, basically when I started working.
My second, the instant the baby was born and throughout pregnancy.

I never had help, I ended up getting used to it. I’m now single and my mom helps me constantly. She’s a serious blessing

He’s going to be doing the first diaper change and helping with the first feed, first bath, first everything. I imagine I’ll end up doing a majority of the rest, but he’s super excited and involved already. Hasn’t missed an appointment or ultrasound, been there for everything and has said how excited he is to give baby baths and snuggle with her. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Since birth my husband has helped with everything with our son. He’s currently in our sons room rocking him to sleep.

As soon as he exited my body :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I’m not being negative I am being honest when I say hes a lazy fuck who sounds like a shit father so if you want it to change give him a ultimatum and decide based on his efforts after that. If hes around he needs to BE THERE for her as much as you are. Nip that shit in the ass now or it wont change and if you do and he still dont change … leave

From day one my husband helped me. When he went back to work the responsibility went mostly to me but on weekends when he’s off he helps me so much. Changes her diapers… feeds her. Everything.

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My husband works FT while I am a SAHM. He’s always been a hands on dad. I’d say that since the beginning he’d help with childcare & household chores (so including all the diaper changing, waking up to feed baby, etc), and the more he got used to being a dad, the more help he was with the kids and home. It’s most definitely equal now within the home (ages 3&5)

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My husband started from birth. When I was in the hospital, I don’t think I changed any diapers. Also, my kids were all formula fed (due to meds I had to be on). Between him and the nurses, I have only fed my babies a handful of times in total for all 4 kids. Of course I did take care of my babies well at home. But my husband helped so much from the beginning.

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Since he wanted to make a child and bring a child into this world 50/50
And I’m a stay home mum and he owns and runs a kitchen company. :woman_shrugging:
I do all the cooking washing and cleaning. As soon as his home he takes over with our boys 1.5 & 3

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I think it all depends on situation mama!

Are you a stay at home mom who’s husband works full time?
Do you guys both work?

For me I stay home and my husband works full time. Personally I don’t ask for help because if he can hold it down financially then I can hold down the house you know? Of course I get overwhelmed and that’s when I’ll ask him to step in so I can take a nice long hot shower. Or I’ll run an errand and leave the kids.
But other than that I get up all night, I get the kids ready, I handle everything. It’s the least I can do while my husband gets no down time with his family.

On the other hand if you both work, HE NEEDS TO STEP UP and you HAVE to put your foot down. In reality regardless of your situation he should be kind enough to notice your struggling and offer to help.

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Since the day she came home from the hospital. He worked 3 jobs. And still alternated feedings with her through out the night. Everything. The little time he was home and not working, he was absolutely all in. Not once have I had to ask to change a diaper, nothing.

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Since birth. He is the best support I have

My fiance hardly helped but he works full time and I’m a sahm. I also breastfed so our son wanted me any way. He will be 2 in January and still prefers me over him. I understand the overly tired thing. It sucks. It all depends on your specific situation. I can’t say anything bad because my fiance didnt help much. I just recently started being able to shower with our son awake and not at 1 or 2 am. Good luck mom. :heart:

Mine never helped and then left when our son was 2. Haven’t heard from him in 4 years. You ladies that had help are lucky!

Mine is the same way

My husband worked and i stayed home so i did everything now that shes older almost 5 she is attached to his hip every second hes home. Some men just dont ever do the baby thing but it will get better i know how your feeling stay strong love and always sleep when the baby does it helps so much

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Literally in the NICU. That “I don’t hear the baby crying” bullshit is exactly that… bullshit! Sorry, but there’s no f-ing way ANYONE doesn’t hear the baby, ever🤷‍♀️ They just don’t want to deal with it but I didn’t either, but I did. No one wants to wake up all night. But I sure as hell didn’t have these kids by myself and if I’m going to be raising them alone then I’ll be doing it exactly that way, alone💯

Mine…never…sure wished he had

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Well, my husband would change diapers here and there but to him he felt sort of out of loops because this is our first child, a MAMA BOY at that lol and he doesn’t really know how to interact or handle our son since he was born. He’s a year and a half now and my husband ks able to interact more. Plus we’re young parents, he’s 22 and I’m 23 but i had our son at 22 and that left hubby at 21 when our son was first born. He’d always help though if I needed it, especially after an emergency c section. My body was rough for a few months. But it may take time. Talk to him about how you feel too.

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Since he was born. He also helped with my niece when we took her in when she was a baby. Our son is 10 today and my niece is now 8. :heart:

Birth! Mine helped me as soon as she came out

Help??? FFS it’s just as much his kid. GTFOH

My husband works full time at a dangerous job…
Never expected him to do all that. …
I was able to stay at home …so that was my job .
He provided the roof over our heads and food …
I took care of our children…
Isnt that what moms do?

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Immediately from birth we take turns with night shifts and he lets me sleep in still to this day the baby is 18 months now and we have a great routine. Don’t let him treat you like that he needs to be a father anyone can be just a dad… I feel for you and I hope you get the courage to tell him about himself and not portray for others he’s this super person mom needs help to your in my prayers girl!!

Never did. I left him right after her 2nd birthday

Mine didn’t help till I had a breakdown. She was only about 10 days old at the time but I had been up for like 5 days straight. We was having a little trouble learning to latch so she was eating every hour on the hour. So I was up all night with her and I have older children that I had to be up with through the day. But after being up for days on end I couldn’t do anything but stand there and cry 1 because I was exhausted 2 because I was scared to death I was gonna hurt her, I was scared because I almost fell asleep while standing up holding her. I broke down crying and was like you’ve got to take her and let me nap before something bad happens. Now 18 months later and he still hasn’t gotten up in the night with her but he does take the mornings and let’s me sleep in. And I went back to work so he has her while I’m away at work. Now we’re currently 30 weeks pregnant with our 2nd (my 4th) and I’m scared it’s all gonna be on me again. Our daughter will be 23 months when I have this baby so I told him hes responsible for her and I’ll take care of the baby… just as long as I don’t have to worry about both of them on my own.

My husband helped right from the start. He changed every diaper while we were in the hospital, insisting that I needed to rest. Once we went home, we took turns changing her and getting up at night with her.

Started immediately with a learning curve :joy: my husband never even held a baby until my baby shower. He quickly was always there though. Even in the hospital and after we got home. He actually bathed our son more than I did in the beginning because he smiled the first time at home and my husband did it more and more to see his smile. Eventually it led to his laugh etc. And my husband always wants to put a smile on his face and does everything he can to make him laugh. Make him spend alone time with her. They need to bond. Its important. It really helped my husband.

Help…? That kid is half his a father does his part from day one. My husband changes diapers, gives baths, makes food, whatever HIS child needs him to do. I mean he works so during the day it’s all on me and that’s my job but when he’s present it’s his responsibility too.

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I was lucky my husband helped from day one …course sometimes I had to remind him the baby was his too especially when I had to wake him up I worked as well so it’s both our jobs to look after baby… hard work but worth it

My daughter is about to be one. My husband just recently started helping more and more. I asked… He said that it was because the smaller she was… The more he was afraid to do anything with her because she was so tiny. Not being able to hold her head up or sit up… He was nervous. Good excuse… No. But. He owned up to it. Now, I would stay asleep if I could. But. That’s not how it works. As tired and stressed as you are mama… The baby wants mama for a certain amount of time… Soon … Dad will step up to plate… And you’ll feel inadequate. Or at least that’s how it feels for me now. She only wants dad now. So enjoy it. Even though it’s tough as F

My husband never changed a diaper or fed a baby in his life. Once our son was born, he asked me to teach him and I did. He changed just about 75% of his diapers and fed him whenever I was too tired to breastfeed. He was also the one to get up middle up the night to take care of him :heart::heart::heart: forever grateful for my husband :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Uhm. Since the moment I gave birth my husband was helping. He changed his first diaper and put him to sleep the first night.

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2 years of age before interest took place…

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Men will always do what their fathers did when baby arrive on the scene, baby is the mother’s responsibly, if she a sahm. In fact the whole house and babies are a wife’s responsibly, if she’s lucky enough to be stay at home mom/wife. But it’s up to the man if he feels he needs to help. After all his job is providing for his family.

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He was helping out the moment he found out our first baby was on the way. I don’t have to ask, but I knew it wouldn’t be an issue when I decided he was the one. I dumped the one’s I knew wouldn’t help out.

When did he help? Never

Most men feel jealous over the attention you are giving the baby so you should just hand the baby to them and go for a coffee or a long drive or just go out side and water the garden and if he say anything tell him to deal with baby.

My husband never helped , or got up in night . I know a lot more dads do today . Good luck . Do you work out of the home as well ? Why are you so tired ?

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I’m still waiting, been a whole year and half now…

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Since my son was born lol

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About a month because he was scared to because she was so small.

Immediately. He is such an amazing father. From day one he did absolutely anything and everything he could to help me. We’ve got girls so as they got older certain things he preferred me to do, which was fine with me.

Immediately. He absolutely adores his kids. When they were first born he would do all the diaper changes because that was his way to help. During the night I would breastfeed while he slept and if they didn’t fall asleep nursing he would wake up and rock them to sleep so I could rest. It takes team work. Men should help with raising their children.

Day 1 mine has always been there to help

Straight away, and still continues too.
He doesn’t help, he parents.

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Start snapping on him to help you. My son father do everything now except wash and make bottles. He feeds him, bathes him, gets him to sleep, and now he gets up with him in the night. But I had to start blacking out and snapping on him to get him to do it. If your child father ain’t doing anything for his child why is he there? You’ve already been doing it by yourself. My son is 4 months old and I decided if he not gonna help he could leave and I would do it alone. I birthed 2 kids not 3!

Mine helped from Day 1. It’s selfish of him not to help. You didn’t make your daughter by yourself, you shouldn’t have to take care of her by yourself!