So in a nutshell I would love to hear from other single moms to one kid, about the best way to gracefully reveal to a date, or is it too soon on the first date since we are still getting to know each other? I feel like I’m overthinking this. I have not dated in years. Thanks in advance!
We matched on a dating app on the 5th, and we’ve talked every day since then. I actually met him today (16th) but I only met to take him to the airport and we did not have time for a proper date (he is from out of town). We had a great conversation in the car, but we didn’t talk about kids (we are both in our late 20s) so I didn’t just blurt it out. When he is back from his trip, we are going on a lunch date. I’m trying not to make a huge deal about it, but I also want to make sure I come off as honest as possible. We even followed each other on social media. I’m not the type of mom who posts their kids everywhere (out of safety concerns), but if someone did a true Instagram stalk they would find a post of my daughter (just the back of her standing up) skipping a rock, along with a poem underneath about me being her mom that I wrote. I doubt he saw this. I just feel like he would have said something.
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Get rid of him! No serious man would meet you to give him a lift to the airport. Lose him, he is no good. Sorry move on before you develop feelings. Don’t tell him about your kid he will only run away and you will end up disappointed. Lose him block him whatever! No mercy.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. When do I tell a guy I’m going to go on a first date with that I have a kid?
If you feel like you have to hide your child, maybe you shouldn’t be dating.
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IMO you shouldn’t have gotten to meeting IRL without the kid on the table. You’re a package deal, and your potential partners deserve to know upfront so they can make the informed decision on if they want to date you. You’ve already let it go way further than I would. Some people don’t care if you have kids or not. Some people require you to have kids. Some people require you to be childless. So it’s best to not waste anyone’s time including your own, and just be upfront about it. What if he hates kids and doesn’t want them? Your time matters too. You don’t want to put all this energy out just to find out he hates kids do you?
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Even if the date is going anywhere or not. I always tell them I have kids from the very beginning. Kids are a big deal to some people. If you wait to mention it might be like an atomic bomb and a deal breaker. Some people don’t want to date someone with kids and that’s totally fine. That’s why the person deserves to know. It’s better to know from the beginning so you don’t start something that will end very fast.
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Im not in this position but if i were it would be one of the first things i would mention.
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My kids would be the first “blurt” out of my mouth lol then I would go from there … if don’t like it then next…
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During your next conversation ask him if he has any kids then you can slip yours in.
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Would be one of the very first conversations I would have , I would never hide the fact I have children they are my entire world
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Don’t wait, do it now!
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Do you have any pictures of your kid on any of your socials?? If you do then he probably already knows…
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Hahahaha when I met my now bf, I’m nov of 19, I was doing a visit at his moms for work, he FaceTimed her like he does every morning and when he asked what she was doing she faces her phone to me and said here talking to so and so from so and so agency, (my boss is actually his best friend)… so his niece texts me and says my uncle wants your number, can I give it to him? Sure also tel him I have 3 sons , a grandson , a daughter in law and a dog …
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I met my current partner also in a dating app 4 years ago, my daughter was 7 at the time and when we started chatting and I could see that we were kinda getting into each other, without meeting… Whilst chatting and getting to know each other I told him… He had 2 choices… Stay and continue to get to know me or ghost me… 4 years later, we are engaged, we live together, we share a 3 year old son, my daughter is now 11 and we are forever happy but never a bed of roses…we are all human… There is no time frame to telling him but remember he has 2 choices… GOOD LUCK😊
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Your child is not baggage that you can closet until you’re comfortable. You shouldn’t hide your kid from anyone. Having a child is not something you can change. It should have been in your bio on the app.
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How has this not already been spoken about if you have been talking daily for a while? I would’ve definitely brought it up during conversation
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When I attempted the dating online life I added in my profile that I have two kids and two cats (at that time) so if you don’t like kids or cats im not the one for you. I always told them up front. I’d never hide them. It’d come out in our first conversation along with how to pronounce my first name.
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Did he not see her car seat in your back seat? Lol
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Why was this not the FIRST thing mentioned when y’all started talking? 
he should already know you have a kid after this long.
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Just ask him if he has kids and he should ask you the same if not then just say “well I’m a milf “ 
no but just tell him, “well I have a child” it’s better for him to know up front so things don’t get too serious if he’s not ok with it
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Why was that NOT the first thing you told him?
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Idk, I personally just straight up have it in my bio so that they don’t get pissy if/when I’m slow to reply and also because she’s quite literally the biggest part of my life and I’d rather them have all the info upfront. I very much am the mom who probably overshares but the couple pictures I have with her on my apps have her face censored out.
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I’d tell people right away about my kids. They’re my priority.
That probably would of been one of my first conversations
This should have been already put on the table plain and simple cause if for some reason that’s not something he wants to get involved with y’all both just wasted so much time and feelings and energy ect… you wanna hold off on introducing them then fine by all means but he should atleast knows she exists 
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Ok so maybe it should of been mentioned in the beginning or even in your profile to let people know you have a kid. You didn’t, so now where to go from here. I believe the next time you talk to him that you should say “Before this goes any further and emotions get more involved, I think you should know that I am a single mom of a blank year old little boy/girl. I wanted to let you know about this because I don’t want it to come as a shock later on if we choose to take this further.” You can tell him you are a private person that’s why it’s not mentioned in your profile or why you have brought it up before. You were feeling the guy out so to say. It happens. Just make sure you are up front about it and next time, please be more up front about it in the future because it can save a lot of trouble esp if the person doesn’t want to be involved with someone with kids.
I get it, you are probably doing this for the first time? You aren’t sure how to say it and you never know who you will meet out there these days. Some people see profiles with people with kids and run, and some people accept it. It will save a lot of heartache in the future. If this goes further and you guys start to like one another a lot and then you drop this on him or he finds out, he may get upset that you weren’t truthful or maybe he doesn’t want to be involved with someone with kids. It’s not a bad thing, just a preference. When I did a dating app, I straight up had my son mentioned in the profile saying he was special needs and takes up a lot of my time. Guess what, I still got messages from people. Though the dating app didn’t work and I got back together with my sons father, I was still upfront about it and you wouldn’t believe how many guys were still ok with it. Just tell him next time. Tell him why you didn’t tell him. You maybe surprised. But don’t wait please because that’s not fair to him nor you.
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You probably should have already mentioned having a child. However I also understand not considering what is going on in the world… sex trafficking, etc. I am assuming a lot of that is the issue -considering you mentioned not posting her on much on social media. Also, sounds like you are new to online dating or possibly in general. If I liked him, at all- I would explain my reasoning on NOT telling him sooner and asking him to please understand, but it can go either way for y’all now. He may feel you are hiding other things or trying to somehow pull something over on him. Just be completely honest. Also, I understand you not telling him very personal things at all until you know if you are into him enough for it to matter. Nothing wrong with not subjecting you’re daughter to the dating scene. Good luck momma!
Ask him how he feels about children after a month. If he says he hates kids ditch him. He says he loves them then say “I’m relieved to hear that because I am really interested in you. I do have a kid. You don’t have to meet them now, just wanted to let you know that I am a mom.” I think a month gives him enough time to decide if you’re the one and not duck out just because there’s a kid but it isn’t wasting too much of his time as long as you pay for some of the dates. As long as you aren’t bleeding him dry on dates I think that’s fair.
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Just tell him if he can’t accept her than u surely know that’s not who u need to try & pursue… 
I’ve been divorced jus under a year & I have 8 children imagine how that goes in just general convo let alone a man approaching me lol
My question is why was t this one of the. Wry first things he knew about you. Eye, hair color, I have a child, occupation. I mean your child is half your DNA…
If I were this guy this would throw up huge red flags for me abs make me run from you.
You should have already mentioned it honestly
That should literally be the first thing you tell someone. My kids are my pride and joy. My first priority. They will always come first. Goodluck.
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I was in this position a long time ago, in the days before the internet. Imagine! 
I met my late husband at the speedway, and I told him that night I was a single mum. All he asked was why I was a single mum, and I told him. For him, it wasn’t an issue. I’m surprised he doesn’t already know actually, given how long you’ve been talking.
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I would have told him before you actually went out
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It would have been one of the first things I mentioned. If he doesn’t like or want kids then what a waste of time eh?
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I think it should be told right away just incase it’s a dealbreaker for someone, but that’s okay though I’d tell him and just honestly explain how you were overthinking and were so worried and maybe he will understand and if he doesn’t then cut your losses and I’m sure you’ll find someone else who will love you and your baby in due time 
good luck I hope it goes well!
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I put on my dating app profile that I’m a professional, a mom, small business owner etc…. So they know out the gate!
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First thing out of my mouth after pleasantries would have been that I’m a mom lol
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I told my bf on our first date. So he had a chance to run if he wanted. But he’s stuck around and now we are almost at 2 years dating
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So this should’ve been the first thing you told him when you’ve said hi and he asked you to tell him about yourself on that very first meeting. Why are you finding it difficult telling him your most important role in life, being a mum?? If you think it’ll scare him off then sorry, say goodbye. If you found he hated kids, you couldn’t hide the fact forever! He would find out. She’s not exactly the sort of secrect you can keep.
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You should have all ready told him your a mom. That should have been in the first few times you talked if not the very first time
I say it upfront cause if they can’t accept the package deal then they ain’t allowed in my life
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I’m abit confused why you haven’t already told him? I mean my son is my life, I talk about him all the time lol
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Im a mom first and a girlfriend second. I dont introduce them but my son is brought up almost instantly. If you Cant accept i have a child im not wasting my time talking to you
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It actually made the first date better as We talked about mine and now its 4 years later so it could go really well, tell him. Good Luck xxxx
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As soon as you’ve talked to them…
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Straight out the gate 
When I was a single mom of 2 they were always mentioned before there was ever the mention of a date
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The part when they ask eg, “So what do you do?” my response was “First and foremost, I’m a Mum”… then led into career etc
If they want to keep talking or whatever after that, sweet! 
If not, good to know!!
See ya bye 
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Tell him now . Your child was there before he was . If a man cannot accept your child , they are not worth going out with ONE time .
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Tell him first date, don’t introduce your kids until you’re sure he’s around to stay
Mentioning the kids and introducing them are not and should not be the same.
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… You say it up front… Not everyone likes or wants kids.
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Before your lunch date! You are a “package deal” so you should have told him on the 5th…
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Should have told him from the beginning
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He should already know!
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My partner knew from day one. She is part of you, and he can’t be with you if he’s not accepting of her. So absolutely tell him on your next conversation / meet. As for actually meeting your daughter, that’s different. I didn’t introduce my son for the first few months because I didn’t want another man entering is life til I was sure. Good luck 
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I told them straight away and I’m a mom of 7 if they can’t except that well hit the road they aren’t meant to be
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Having a kid is something that should be told early on I reckon. It could be a deal breaker for him and not telling him only wastes the time for both of you
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Moving way to fast massive red flags here
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I would have told him within the first day or two of talking. If you wait any longer he may feel like you’ve deceived him. A child is a big deal.
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Would have been the first thing I mentioned when we first matched
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You just drop it in a conversation like oh me and my daughter like to do this or we do this etc etc and he’ll go oh you have a daughter go with the response
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ASAP. You having a child isn’t going to change and your child always comes first. Before my boyfriend, when I was dating I would always be clear that my child was first. I never hid the fact that I’m a mom.
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Yeah, that’s like, basic info about yourself lol
oh yeah, by the way, I have 1 kid, my favorite colors pink, I love to swim lol ya know.
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He needs to know that you have a kid
Point blank Not all guys are ready for that even starting out and if you really like this guy and he really likes you then he really deserves fo know Nobody likes a bombshell dropped on them after dating for awhile oh by the way I have a kid Then what he wonders what other secrets you may have or what other things you ain’t telling him Good luck with that one hun Hope everything works out for u 
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Definitely overthinking it on a massive level.
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About 10 days ago was a good time…
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Um…you definitely should mention that right away when you are getting to know someone… Definitely do not have your child meeting anyone too soon, but why would you hold that in like its a secret. You have a kid, so what?!!
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I was honest from the start. No reason to get attached if kids are a deal breaker. If you are upfront and intentions clear from the moment you meet, no one gets hurt.
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If he’s not a shallow idiot whom is only dating to satisfy his own needs. Then he’ll love your children as much as he does you.
You should of said that you had a child in your first conversation.
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BEFORE you ever go on a date. NOT everyone likes kids or wants them.
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The very first conversation I had that was about me would have involved telling him about my kids ….
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If I was to date, Id tell them straight away, when first messagingand asking about them.
You need to tell him now!!
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How has it not come up yet 
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Ummm… that is one of the first things people will know about me… cause you know… my children are my life and that is something huge . Yeah I don’t know, I think you should of let him know the first few conversations you had with him.
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Me having a kid is pretty much in the first conversation If not on my dating app
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I would have said from the first convo that would have come up
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I had it in my dating profile that I had 2 kids, it helps to weed out the guys who don’t like/want kids before I ever wasted any of my time on them
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Personally of a mother of 2 I have it on my dating app that I hsve 2 children just to let them know I have them and they can accept it or not !..
Everyone has there own preference on what they want to put on there dating app and what they want to tell people straight out , I would cert just tell him out straight, just say listen (name) I have something too tell ya , then just tell him you have a daughter, if he is a prat he clearly wasnt worth your time, but being honest from the start is always key but as said everyone has there own preference.x
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I let people know I have kids before we meet.
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I waited a little to mention I had a child but tbh it doesn’t matter. If it’s too much for him, it’ll always be too much for him. I suppose waiting a bit helps him like you for you. Wait until he ask you, but don’t hide it.
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Should have been told from the start !
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Should have been the first thing u told him after u told him your name
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The first conversation should have been when u proudly explained u are a mom. NOT after u meet them.
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You should let him know you have a child before you meet
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Youre on a dating app and dont have a mention of your child ? Maybe want to correct that
First conversation should have included the fact you have a daughter . Tell him before you date . No point carrying on if hes going to walk away when he finds out
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I’m always up front right away that I have 3 kids.
Dang…he’ll get the impression u hiding her from him…before any more dates the sooner the better save both getting hurt…
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In my opinion. That would been the first thing. I would tell a guy if they asked about me. I not only do I have one. But now two boys. One who is about to be 5. And a new born. (If I wasn’t with the dad of the new born). When I started taking to my now bf. The first thing I told him. Was I had a son. (My first born). And so did he. We been together for now 3 years. (There was a break between. But got back together may 2020) now we have a new born together.
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I totally understand but putting it on your dating app. You don’t want to attract pedophiles looking to date someone so they can be closer to kids. But this can’t wait. Your very next phone call… Just be straight with him. “I don’t want to keep anything from you, but you need to know I have a child. If this isn’t something your ready for, I understand.” Then wait.
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Up front. I was an single Mom of a little girl for years . I’m sorry but any guy that wants to date you had better be really special because you are a single Mom. Besides. Hes not going to meet her for months, until you know that he’s worth having around. The right guy doesn’t care if you have ten kids or no kids. The rest can keep walking.
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That’s literally the FIRST thing I told my current boyfriend. My exact words were “I’m gonna let you know right now, I have four children. They come first above any, and everybody. Either accept it for what it is, or we call it quits now.”
Two years later, we’re still together!
If he’s a good guy, and have honest intent; you being a mother shouldn’t affect how he feels about you. I’d somehow figure out a way to bring her up in one of your conversations with him.
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He used you for a ride as a first date… That’s kind of a red flag already ,no?
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I think that is something you should be up front with immediately.
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Should have been part of your first conversation
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First date… Either bring up ur kid in convo or ask him his view on kids/single mothers. It should be even before u consider him taking u out on a date but since u’ve clearly already passed that point, be upfront about it.
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I am surprised so many of you are saying to put it out there ASAP. Bring it up at lunch if you decide you’re going to go further with dating him. Just tell him- I have a child. That’s all he really needs to know until you’re more serious. I respect you for keep your child safe on social media.
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Be straight up. Ask him if he has children… and tell him you do. Anyone who knows me, knows I have a child that I love e more than life.
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As a single mom trying dating that is one of the first things known about me. I am a mother. They don’t meet my kids, see pictures etc but they do know I am a mother first and foremost.
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