Have one with both sides or they can work together and throw a big one
It’s usually a loved one. Family member, close friend, etc. That I know of, there’s no unspoken rule. Maybe they could get together and throw it together?
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No it is considered bad taste. Family does not host showers.
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It used to be proper etiquette that a member of the bridal party or close friend should throw the shower. It didn’t used to be proper for a close member of the family to throw the shower. People I worked with gave me my last shower, also people at my church did. My sister in law gave me my first shower, and I appreciated it , but I could hear my Grandmother, even though she had passed saying it was not good etiquette. She was old school, but she was a lady, and cared deeply how things looked. Nowadays, anything goes, but I wish people would learn a few manners.
No to mother’s,yes to sisters
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I didn’t know there was any rule that your mom or mother-in-law had to do that.
Let mom do it for your side of the family and SIL do for his side
I thought your friends did it. No rules, do what you want.
They could do it together!
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I threw one for 2 of my friends, and my SIL
I thought any1 can do it…?..i never had 1…i bought every single thing i needed all 4 times…besides some random stuff i got free from classes…
My sister is throwing mine
Your mom and SIL can plan it together. There is no rule on who throws it. For my first child a group of lady’s my mom was friends with threw my shower. I didn’t have one for my second and my for last child my mom threw it but that’s because I asked her to because I didn’t really have anything I needed anymore.
I always assumed it was a sister or a friend who did it.
I never knew there was a rule, talk to them both and have them do it together, Tell them that’s what you want! Where I live friends, Aunts, mother’s, sisters or sister in laws , mother in laws have all planned them, it really doesn’t matter who usually the Mother/Father are just grateful that someone had a shower for them.
Idk what the rule is but my advice is get someone you know will give you what you want I let my sister and friend do it and I shouldn’t have
It is usually the mother to be …best friend or sister …NOT the mother
What does it matter? Why cant they do it together
It doesn’t matter as long as you feel blessed. She can give you a second one if she’s so concerned.
My first baby shower was threw by my aunt
My second baby shower was thrown by a co worker who I’m super tight with. I’ve been to a baby shower that was thrown by the girls mom and I’ve been to a baby shower that was thrown for a girl who was having a hard time and this complete stranger threw it together in a week and changed the outcome for the girl and her babies lives. It’s a beautiful thing to be celebrating girl. Sounds like they both just want to give you and your baby something special. If they want they should see it they would be willing to throw it together 
good luck. All in all I have never heard of the unspoken rule. Lol
I definitely don’t think there are any rules like that at all but it’s good you brought it up to get first as it seems it’s really important for her to do it. But IME while my mom hosted mine, I’ve been to many others where the sisters planned it, or best friends or in-laws. Just whoever is close to the mom and is willing/ wanting to do it
My best friend and my mom and sister.
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What? First was me and step mom and second was a surprise I didn’t even know about by literally all close female relatives of mine. What kind of gosh darn rule is that. Wtf
I had 2 with my first, one frpm my dads side of the family (1000 miles from where i live) and My sister in law and brother threw it for me (second shower, first baby). with our second i put it together and my other sister in law kind of took over because “i shouldnt be throwing my own shower!”
Anyone can do it. Why dont you suggest them co-host it
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I had two one was my sister and the other was my at the time MIL
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My mom didn’t even come to my baby shower. You do you girl.
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Honestly, ask them to work together. There’s no unspoken rule for who’s supposed to throw one. With my 1st child, my husband’s niece had me one & my church three me one. With my 2nd 3yrs later (and the opposite gender), I threw my own because no one else would. My mom & I threw my little sister’s.
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Will they do it together? If not just have two lol I didnt want a baby shower but my job gave me one and then my cousin, mom and sister threw me the second one
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I wouldn’t know I had to do my own baby showers. 
I had one for both my older 2 kids. but I planned and paid for everything with my daughter. My son a stranger paid and bought everything I could need and I just had to set up and such (it was after a cat 5 hurricane hit my hometown though) and I just didnt have one with my youngest being he was born 2 and a half months early and a NICU fighter. I never knew of such a rule though
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My midwife and her family threw my first baby shower, because I didn’t have alot of support for my first pregnancy. I did a gender reveal for the dad to be and my stepson for my second, and then I did my own baby shower for my third, because I wanted it to be MY way, and it was very exciting. Nobody complained through any of it, and we all had fun.
Traditionally it is NOT hosted by a family member. I think it was considered uncouth for a family member to be asking for gifts for you.
There’s nothing wrong with having multiple baby showers. Your mom should not feel upset in my opinion. She should feel happy that you and your baby have so many people who love you and want to celebrate you both.
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Anyone can throw the shower
I’ve never heard that rule
Normally it’s the godmother that throws it!
Everyone’s family dynamic is different. There are no set rules on this. In my family, it’s typically the mother that throws it, but having multiple people plan and host it is not unheard of. Explain to your mom that your SIL is just excited and would love to co-host the shower if possible.
Get them both to come together and help. My mother threw mine but my best friend helped.
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I threw my own, dont have close girlfriends and family and no one offered so i did it all myself which was hard to do as was for about 50ppl including kids
My sister in law threw my baby shower, there are literally no rules to life, do as you please, its your child! 
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I threw my own. So there is no right or wrong
It can be any really the mother can throw or close friends and family really. It doesnt matter it all depands on the mother on what she wanrs
Normally it’s your bridal party/maid of honor that does the baby shower…my mother & bridesmaids planned mine but that was bc my sister/maid-of-honor passed away 10 months prior.
When my BFF had her son 4/5 months early, her mother, sister (maid of honor) and I threw hers.
I dont think there is an unspoken thing, anyone can throw it. It’s up to the person who wants to throw it to speak up so others know. She clearly just wanted to be the one to do it which is why she’s upset. Mabe have em coordinate?
My mom threw mine🤷🏻♀️ and it was a surprise. Maybe that’s why your mom was a little annoyed. Maybe she was planning one and it was to be a surprise.Really kind of your SIL to be thoughtful. I have never heard of an unspoken rule.
Anyone can throw it! Maybe they can work together on it? Since family will be there anyway. Should be a good time! And special for you. If it’s your first child. Hopefully they can get along and do it!
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I’m honestly not sure if there is a specific person assigned to do it. My mom did mine but I feel like it should/could be anyone that you’re close to and really wants to do it. They could work together so they’re both included and it’s not all on one person
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Every one I have ever been to was thrown by the mom-to-be’s best friend
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Both my daughters had baby showers thrown by their sister!!! And another thrown by their very best friend for another group of people!!! I never threw a shower for either of my daughters for ANYTHING!!! Just my best friend long, long ago. Never have I been to a shower thrown by a mom, either!
No rule that I’m aware of. One of my best friends hosted mine. But your mum is obviously hoping to do it or she wouldn’t have gotten so upset about it.
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It’s an old tradition, but not an unspoken rule.
Honestly, I had one from my mom and one from my MIL (I had her first grand baby).
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I’ve had four kids, I planned, organized, and hosted my own shower each time. At the end of the day it depends on who YOU want to throw your shower and who is most likely to throw the shower that is most your style.
I feel like anyone could throw it. I lived in a different state when I had my 1st. So my SIL threw me one, I came back to my home state and actually got pregnant again & my mom threw it. Currently pregnant with 3rd and I choose not to have one at all. Maybe in your case both can work together and give you one?
I was in a similar situation. My sister was having a baby and her b/f sisters took it upon themselves to throw the shower. My mom and I were both kinda upset by it. We asked to be involved as much as possible. Otherwise, do two showers. :-/
I’m pretty sure my fiances sister in law had a few…one thrown by only her close friends. One with her side of the family and one with her husband’s side of the family.
I live in south GA and here the mothers to be get multiple baby showers. Usually one for her side of the family, one for his side, and one from the church.
I agree with Linda Glosson Allred. The Mother should sit back and enjoy the Baby Shower! Shower should be done by Friends! Maybe I’m Old School too!
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Years ago it was the mom nowadays it’s whoever and friends! I think the more the less work and cost on one person plus it can be a fun experience for all! Good luck with your new baby!!
I was always told it should never be someone in your own family that that looks tacky. That its suppose to be a best friend or friend of the family. 
who knows though.
I just did my sisters with my mom. My sister in law asked me to help her family in throwing hers.
I’ve thrown alot of babyshowers for my friends but I’ve always followed the moms lead in 1 of them before but mainly just me and my friends will throw the shower and invite the mom of course
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Well, for all 3 of my baby showers my husband was the one who planned them. We are a military family and were never close to family. My mother was only alive for my first born but had passed away when I was pregnant with my two boys. I mean, the mother doesn’t always have to plan them. Perhaps instead of your mother getting upset, she should have your SIL help her out! It is for YOU and BABY not for anyone else.
I threw my oldest daughter’s when her sister got pregnant she threw one for her. The 2nd showers Were thrown by sister in-laws. I don’t think it matters everybody can chip in.
I have never heard of that rule. However, many baby showers have more than one host. Your sister in law could go in with your mom and host one, or you could have more than one baby shower. I had two!
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No unspoken rule. Ask them to throw it together. It’s a happy moment, no point getting upset.
I honestly do not know. I never cared or thought it mattered. A friend of my husbands threw mine. She did a excellent job too. No one i knew was offended
Usually the grandmas to be would gather all the family and friends and have a big bash… but then before or after have a little gathering of your closest female friends. #minishower
My sis-in-law and I threw the first one for our husbands’ sister and are planning the 2nd one now
My sister and my mom threw mine. My sister is really the one who planned it. It was at my moms house though. I think it’s just whoever wants to throw you one. Why not have your SIL and mom get together and plan the shower together? That would be so sweet. I dont think your SIL was in the wrong at all.
So much for not stepping on any toes…ur mom’s reaction should’ve been “yeah I’ll throw u the party, and I’ll contact ur SIL, maybe she can help me” there’s no need for all that saltiness, imo
In my Day, the church ladies did a Wedding Shower, also did a baby shower for the first baby.
At that time it was not considered proper to have but a shower for your first child!.
Anybody can do it. I had 2 with my first. My mom did one and my bff did one
I did my own. My mom did help pay for food and my dad helped pay. I mean I planned it all.
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Anyone can throw it, but I know I would let/want my mom to be the main one hosting if she wanted to.
It typically is the mother in law, sisters and the mother in law and sister in laws…
Etiquette states non relatives should host gift request parties = “Showers”.
“Ediquette” assumes the needy recipient has friends.
I’ve never heard that. I threw my first and my sister’s threw my 2nd. My mom cooked and done the games but my sisters planned it.
My mother in law and sister in law threw mine
My mother in law threw me one for my second baby
Not an British tradition, so wouldn’t have a clue.
the baby shower can be thrown by anyone. lol. why don’t the two work together and split the costs if they both want to be involved?
Me and my sisters all did each others? Maybe you can have 2 showers 
I feel that’s an old outdated tradition like saying it’s the father of the brides job to pay for the wedding.
Is it? My fella planned mine xx
I threw my sisters baby shower. My sister in law threw both of her sisters baby showers.
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It can be your best friend, your mother your workmates. Anyone can organise a baby shower.
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I planned my own baby shower
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Never heard of that and I have 4…
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I’m old school (b/c I’m old), but I was taught that the mother should NOT plan/host shower.
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Our family’s got together and planned it and separated the responsibilities
Yup your first born is the honor of ur mama
My best friend hosted both of mine!!
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My best friend did mine. My mom and I helped with food. But for the most part it my best friend.
I threw my friend in the past, her mother had zero interest in helping
My ex’s mother threw my baby shower
I threw my baby sister’s and my mom & a couple of her friends threw mine.
There is no unspoken rule. Your mom’s overreacting.
Anyone can throw u a baby shower, i planned my own with my best friend n she helped me set everythng up same with my reveal xx
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My sis in law threw my baby showers