My mom did both of mine
My SIL threw my first one and my little brother threw my gender reveal for my second.
I never heard of any rule, but my older sister usually took care of that.
Both sides of the family
Honestly with my first, my grandmother did it. My second one my mil friend was but do to covid it never happened. So she Is doing it for my 3rd baby.
It’s an old tradition but not a rule. If I would have waited around for my mother to do my baby shower I wouldn’t have had one like seriously 
she made the cake but I literally did everything else.
Ive NEVER known a mother to throw her OWN baby shower. Where I come from, and where I dont come from, women all over the world throw baby showers for other women. NEVER heard of anyone planning and doing their own. My co’workers threw me one. My family threw me one, and a group of my close friends threw me one.
Anybody can do it. It’s not on one person. Your mom is in her feelings
It’s whatever you want. There is no rule. There is no normally.
Can they do it together?
Anyone can give a shower, just offer to help.
My SIL threw mine with the help of my mom and my MIL.
Any one can throw you one as many as they want to . No rules
My mom didn’t throw mine, my friend did.
Never heard of that.
My best friend threw my baby shower
I threw my own baby shower brunch 
Why not work together the more the better.
My best friend did mine.
Usually it is your friends
I was actually in NA at the time. My sponsor threw my shower.
anyone my coworkers threw mine for me
My family worked together
We have moved so far away from most wedding traditions (which is totally fine) that I don’t think there is a clear rule about anything anymore. Whomever wants to do it can and I guess whoever wants to be involved should just do it together.
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I always believed that the mother should throw the baby shower, but there should be no reason at all why the sister in-law can’t help with it?
Or they could simply throw it together… the more help the better.
Typically the godmother, sisters, best friend, mom throws it. I don’t see why they wouldn’t be able to both come together and do that for you
My cousin threw me all my baby showers/meet and greets. My mom helped her out as needed, but it was a great collaboration. I threw my SIL’s baby shower. I think “the more the merrier” would apply when it comes to having/planning a party.
I didn’t know that was a thing… My sister in law threw both of my baby shower…my mum didn’t mind at all
There is no unspoken rule at all.
They can act like adults and collaborate?
I did a BBQ for mine and I was the one who organised it. No one else did. I don’t think there’s any rules regarding who has to throw it tbh
Lol i got my mum to do my baby shower cause i knew i could help out and have it a particular way lol. I wanted a games filled baby shower and wanted it to be laughter and a males included one. It was hilarious especially seeing the men in my family trying to figure out someof the answers 
Personally, anyone close/special to the pregnant mother can throw her a babyshower. I actually wanted to throw my own baby shower cause im a control freak lol.
Just tell your mum to throw u a baby shower for ur family. And then tell ur sis in law to throw u one for her side of the family. Just have 2 lol
Its American not bloody English
I think whoever wants to throw it can. And it’s not uncommon to have multiple ones with different parts of family or friend groups
All the girls at my work did me a baby shower and my mum didn’t even turn up 
I’ve never heard it being the mums role 
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I always thought it was the sister or the best friend if closer xx
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If I was pregnant and someone else offered to do the baby shower I would give them the MUST haves but besides that go get it fam lmao.
I threw my own baby shower, i loved it
I did my own, but in my experience, it’s the sister or best friend/s… never the mother
I threw myself a baby shower 
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I threw my own baby shower
I was under the impression it would be thrown by your mom and sisters if you have them. If your mom didn’t want to I would think that is a very nice offering of your SIL. I personally would have your mom do it. She seem honored to do it. If she wants to Include your SIL, that’s up to her. This is just my opinion, but traditions in my family are just that. It’s not a written rule for the whole world.
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Zero rule. My husband and I will likely plan our own shower. I think having the expectation is a bit damaging. If someone plans it that’s amazing, but if they don’t that’s okay too.
Mama is making it about her when it’s not. She just needs to relax and be happy her daughter is being taken care of.
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I’m old enough that etiquette was a BIG deal. I don’t recall there was a “rule” for who hosted a baby shower. I do agree with other commenters- the grandmothers-to-be should be honored, also. If it means that much to your mom to do it, I’d say rock on
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Technically I believe it shouldn’t be immediate family. So the Sister InLaw would be perfect!
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I just now realized that with both of my children (yes different fathers but they are 9 years apart lol) it was one of my sister-in-law’s that gave me my baby showers lol
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Umm, no. Anyone who WANTS to throw it is a blessing! And if multiple ppl in the family want to do it together, makes it so much easier on everyone so that it doesn’t get too heavy on one person. They should just get together and plan it together. But no, there’s no official rule.
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I don’t know what the “rule” is but my mother always said it was rude to throw a shower for immediate family. So in her opinion your mom shouldn’t do it at all. So maybe your sister in law couldn’t have know better.
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My sister and my mom gave my baby showers but I never heard that it was strictly the mothers place. Your sister in law was just trying to be nice
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I had more than one shower for all three of my kids. It’s not something someone specific should be doing. I had them put on by my mom and sisters, MIL and friends, work … anyone can honestly. I have thrown them for friends and coworkers before. As long as you are taken care of and your baby… Mom or SIL can do it, or combined effort. If it becomes an issue with them doing it, throw it yourself and have a blast!
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In time gone by it was traditionally the Maternal Grandmother who organised the babyshower, HOWEVER in this day and age a new era and new ideologies.
Perhaps suggesting both you Mum and SIL could organise the shower. SIL could organise some games (funky but tasteful) as she can research on Pinterest, Mum could do catering and organise some games (traditional), you could suggest guest list consulting with Mum to invite some old family friends…but advise them both that you are excited for both of them to help as they both are important to you!
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You are very lucky that you have two people who love you and your baby enough to offer to do a baby shower, so many have no one. I don’t think there is any hard core rule on who hosts the baby shower. I have even heard of the Moms to Be hosting the shower.
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It’s a regional, generational, and heritage thing. In my growing-up (East Coast WASP), family NEVER threw showers—bridal, baby, whatever—that was for friends to do. Fast-forward to my marriage into a family of Eastern European heritage, and not only do families throw the showers, friends do too, so there are lots of opportunities for gifts besides the big occasion itself. Several small showers? One ginormous shower? Women only, or men invited, too? It seems no matter what you do or don’t do, someone’s going to have something to say about it, so be forewarned and just do what feels right.
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My Aunt threw my first baby shower, my mother in law threw my 2nd and my sister threw my 3rd. My mother was at all 3 showers and wasn’t upset at all.
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I’ve never heard that the mother throws the shower before. I held one for a good friend and invited her mother
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My sister took it upon herself along with my mum and mother in law. All involved together.
The mum in this situation doesn’t need to chuck a shit fit unless she doesn’t like the SIL. If they get along then do it together! Less stress.
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There’s no particular “rule”. My mother didn’t even give me a gift, let alone a baby shower. Same with my son’s father’s mother.
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I don’t believe there’s any rule that’s that hard and fast. I had two baby showers, my sister planned one and my best friend planned the other. It was no issue, whoever took the lead, took the lead but of course they checked with each other first. Sounds like that might be a concern here? Maybe the sister-in-law can offer to help the mother. These things are supposed to be fun and happy occasions, do your best to hold on to that. Squabbling family members should not be allowed to ruin these small celebrations.
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I didn’t have one for my first but my stepdaughter arranged one for my second, and even though I was a little uncomfortable (introvert), I appreciated what she did for me (Katie Lynn Gilliam )
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Why can’t mom , sisters and SIL do it together? It will make it easier on all involved. Never heard of a rule. Heard of family doing the shower for family members. Friends doing another one for her friends?
It used to be anyone except immediate family. However, I’m not sure if people still follow that tradition.
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Wouldnt it be awesome for the mom to have more than one??? Rowdy with Friends can be fun!!!
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Just tell SIL that mom is doing it and that SIL should chip in - money, lots of other help, etc!!!
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In my day the maid of honor gave it, but so many have the baby first before getting married so I don’t know who gives it now
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It should be anyone but you. Mother, sister, best friend. It doesn’t have to be the mother. The only person who should be exempt from that is you. Have them both do it together. If mom wants to front the bill that’s fine but I think sharing the load between 2 people would definitely help alleviate costs. Between me, my mom and my sister, I myself have spent a couple hundred dollars.
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My husbands family threw together mine ( it was covid so it was just a small little luncheon at the house) I don’t think there are really any rules for who has to throw one for you. Sometimes friends do, sometimes mothers feel obligated. I think everyone is different .
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I had a baby shower on my secong child, it was ran by a bunch of beautiful woman, some I knew some I didn’t. I just appreciated the thought and they done it as a surprise.
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My husband organised mine for both my pregnancies. Also had a work baby shower organised by my boss
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I was raised to believe the expectant moms close friends or extended family would throw the shower and it was slightly inappropriate for her mother to do it. It would be nice if whoever had been get maid of honor at her wedding did it.
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How about…they do it together in peace…for the grandson and the new niece or nephew…GBY ALL.
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I’ve never heard of this rule. I kinda thought it was a sisters usual job. Maybe she mentioned it to someone already and that’s why she is hurt.
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They could do it jointly. My mother was thrilled that a friend of mine wanted to help host. It does not have to be acrimonious.
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There is No rule…those who love you work together…respect your mother who is emotionally invested in this baby tell SIL to volunteer to help MIL ALL IS WELL
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Sometimes the families get together and throw one together or each family could do one separately, there really isn’t a set rule. Like someone said above you can have multiple baby showers thrown by different people.
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Usually a best friend. My Mom did all of mine and I did both of my daughters. Maybe you could include both mom and mother in law, that works too. There really isn’t any rule when it comes to who should.
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I was raised that family did not do this because it was like asking for presents. Friends yes, family no. I did do bridal shower for daughter tho!
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I never heard of a mother giving her daughter one. Should be sisters, sister I law or best friends.
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I always heard it was Aunts. But that was when families were bigger and more children in family.
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Several of my friends threw a friend a baby shower she was in need & her family was to far away .No rules just do it in love.
I’d ask your mum to do it but suggest she lets other close people play a part too.
at my friend’s she had one lady doing the main organising but that lady asked a few of us different things to help with. eg a couple of people make games, someone in charge of snacks, someone create invites, someone in charge of making a photo board or something. that way everyone gets done creative input who wants to.
Not a matter of ‘should’ it is a matter of who cares enough and can afford it.
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Idk why they can’t throw it together lol my sister and my mom are doing mine even though they can’t agree on anything
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I threw my daughter in laws. I also threw my sisters. It depends on the family. Couldn’t they come together and through it.
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It used to be that the godparent threw the shower but I’ve also heard that it’s the Mother’s role. Myself and my daughter’s mother in law and the sisters of baby’s parents threw my daughter’s showers
It should be whomever wants to do it. Historically it was mom’s friends.
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You can have multiple showers. My mom and sister always through me one, but my mother in law did as well and then another from my co-workers. One was for my side of the family, one for my husband’s side and the other for work friends.
Have 2 separate showers. The in law side and your side. That’s the way it was done years ago for bridal and baby showers.
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Honestly hun there is no rule and I didn’t really have no one plan it for me. me and my ex that passed away and my now kids father pretty much planned and threw our own party our own way and it turned out great each time no matter who throws it mama it’s all about you and they shouldn’t fight about who’s throwing it when your all family anyways and can work together on it
My friends organised mine and Ive organised quite a few of my friends! I wouldn’t say there’s any rule to who can or should throw it! They could work together, the more ideas the better I’d say😍
Tell your SIL that it was very thoughtful of her and thank her, she said she didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes… let mom do it. I really think your mom got upset for nothing!
Your mom and sisters can throw one…for extended family on your side of the family…and your sister in law can throw one for the extended family on your spouse’s side of the family. The core family should be invited and attend both.
My mom taught me that mothers never throw a baby shower. Only sisters or friends. Now realizing that I have missed one opportunity
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My current situation: i am the aunt & my neice and i have joined forces to be able to afford her brother & SIL an amazing shower.
Maybe your Mom & SIL can work together.
My sister in law and my best friends threw mine together!
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Just tell your sister in law your mother already offered, but she can reach out with any ideas or if she needs help she could help! My friends threw my first child one, so my family had nothing to do with it.
It used to be that people would have multiple showers thrown by different groups of people. I had three baby showers, one from work and one from each side of the family. For succeeding babies no showers. Now anything goes.
Who made that rule ? My best friend and maid of honor gave me a beautiful baby shower. I have never heard that the mother was “supposed “ to give her daughter’s baby shower, although I think it’s wonderful if she does. As long as it’s done with lots of love and excitement it shouldn’t matter who the hostess is. Grandma deserves to be honored as a special guest anyway.