It is not just the mother’s place…friends may throw one…ladies from church, or women from the office…You are lucky to even have one…May young ladies never even have one these days…It is not like when I had my first child and my mother’s friend threw a shower for me and all of mother’s friends came…Now people register online to different stores…it is more of “I want showers”…and when you get an invite in the mail…my father in law called them all “Invoices…”…
Mom’s really aren’t supposed to throw them is what I was always told.
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Thats so nice that you have two people to offer to throw a baby shower for you, I’ve never had one, I’m currently pregnant with my third child and not likely to have one this time either. Pretty sure there are no rules, why can’t they organise it together?
I threw one for my Brother and Sister in law to invite our entire family because her friend had one for her and only invited my sister in laws friends and family. My sister in law didn’t even show up at the baby shower I threw.
I recently threw my sister in law’s. She helped alot as she had a very clear idea in her head as to what she wanted. It was a beautiful day and I don’t believe anyone was offended.
Explain to your SIL, that your mum was planning on doing it, but sure she’d be grateful for the help. Then suggest to your mum, to get your SIL involved, I’m sure they’d both make it a memorable event. My daughter’s friends kept saying they were going to do one for her, but it was getting extremely close to her due date, so I did the honourable thing and organised one for her. Her two so called friends didn’t come to it, their choice, but plenty of people did. They did her another, but it was just the three of them. If they’d have got their finger out, I wouldn’t have stepped in, but I could see how upset my daughter was getting,thinking she wasn’t having one.
There is no rule to that. My aunt gave my 1st baby shower and a friend gave me the other. Maybe your mom and sister in law can get together and come up with some fun ideas for you a baby shower. Either way congrats on your new joy!
I’ve planned two baby showers and both times I’ve asked their mums first if they wanted to plan it together and they were delighted with that. Xx
I never had one on both occasions, and my best friend, my mom and sister were all alive and well and we all got along ???
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Never heard of that before I just assumed the couple put it together unless some family members or friends decide to throw a surprise one 
My mother threw me a baby shower. For my side and my sister in law another one for their side. Yes usually it is the mother but maybe the sister in law could assist her.
I don’t think it’s a set in stone rule. I would see if your mother and SIL could work together on this. It would be a great bonding experience for them and that way they can both contribute. I’ve only had one baby and I had two showers, which is also another route you could go with this if they can’t work together. The first one of mine was a joint effort between my mom, friends, aunts, and boyfriends family. Then my second was thrown by my grandmother on my dads side (they don’t get along with my moms side which is why we had separate events). But don’t let what’s supposed to be a happy day get turned into a drama fest. Really either see if they could work together or have separate showers. This day is about you & the baby. 
I 've been to varied baby showers. Coed, friend, mil, mom, sister, friends, I’ve never heard of a rule.
There is no rule that states that your mom has to or is expected to throw a baby shower. I feel that if family members throw it together it would be great. And all the expenses not just on one person. The more the merrier.
I literally threw my own baby shower. It was more of a people coming together to celebrate the birth of my daughter. My mom and sister had input but I paid for and planned everything
I’ve always thrown my own baby showers. If ppl want to help me with things I accept and appreciate it, but if not then it’s fine.
Honestly I had 4 baby showers with my last baby. If mom wants todo one then do it and invite that side of the family and then let your SIL do on and invite the other side
The sister in law said she’d love to throw the baby shower but didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes… your mother has no right to be upset. There is no unspoken rule and your sister-in-law was really sweet to offer to throw it (I had to organise my own)
Old school: it was unseemly/a breach of etiquette for a mom or MIL to host or extend invitations. Friends, coworkers, bridal attendant(s), aunt or cousin all were acceptable.
There’s no rule. No one holds the right to give a party. I know many people who had more than one thrown by people of different relations.
Your mom can help if the SIL agrees. Or she can throw another shower. It’s no different than having a family thrown AND work thrown shower.
I would throw my daughter’s baby shower when she has one. However, I would need a lot of help from her closest girlfriends as it’s a lot of work and I’m in my 60’s.
She can give you one for you husband’s side of the family and your mom for your side of the family. That’s what we do
I threw all 3 of my own showers I didn’t expect anyone to do it for me
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My sister did my first one and a super close friend is doing my second. My mom also lives 9 hrs away……never knew this whole “the mom is supposed to do it” was a thing.
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I had 2, one from my friends and one from my mother for all of our families. However, that was 30 years ago.
I never heard of any rules, when we had a baby showers, just about everyone was involved sisters,sister-in-law, cousins etc. Go talk to her mom, and ask her if you two can come together and plan the baby shower.
Yes technically your Mother should be the one to throw you a baby shower, if she’s willing to do so. Obviously if not then your sister or sisters, whether it be yours or Sister in Law or a best friend. Personally to me who offers it up first then so be it. However if the mother wants to throw the shower then she should let you know so that you can let others know of her plans so that way nobody’s toes are being stepped on. Also if anyone else wants to throw you their own shower, they can schedule it around your mother’s
My mom my sil and myself threw my first baby shower ( I don’t like putting it off on people 
control freak I guess )
And several ladies at my work got together to get me a ton of stuff!! Because they are awesome 
My second one- I think it was just a causal get together - we didn’t do anything over the top
No your mother isn’t the one! It’s usually your best friend ! Or it can be your sister in law!
My sister and a good friend threw mine… and now my sister is pregnant with her first and she wants me and her best friend to plan it.
I literally threw my sister in law a baby shower for my nephew and no one was tripping I mean at least someone offered
Never heard of the mom throwing the shower, but sounds like she’s going to be a handful as a grandma. Good luck.
I didn’t know about any rules… I threw a shower for my highschool best friend when she had her 1st and I threw a shower for my military best friend when she had her 3rd… 
And when I had my daughter my husband’s aunt hosted the shower…
No rules just usually someone close to you will, like a best friend, sister, mom etc or they can all help together! I had to throw my own baby shower even after asking multiple times for someone else to help me plan things or setup
I was always under the impression it was the best friend
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Mothers or sisters should not throw baby showers. So your sister-in-law would be a correct one to do so—
Or a friend.
I have always been told that family members Do Not throw showers. It’s like asking for gifts and that should not be done by any family members.
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You can have more than one! My workmates threw me one and my family had a small gathering and my sil threw another! (First baby)!
So my sister & best friend threw mine. And my mom bought her a book that was all about planning a baby shower and it said specifically in that book your mom is not supposed to. But in the end it’s what you want. Maybe they could do it together!
I think the original etiquette was that the maid of honor from your wedding also hosted the baby shower.
I did my own babyshower which I’m happy I did because the person I was going to trust in doing it for me almost bailed day of
Anyone can give u a baby shower. I never knew it was a thing that the mother was expected to. I always thought it could be coworkers, close friends, any relative etc
Never heard of this “rule”, always known it as who ever wanted to do it, family, best friends, etc
I think it’s where your from. In my time, it was the Godmother of the baby who held the shower. But seems mothers are giving them now…
Planning a shower requires a lot of work. Do you want something pretty and very personal. Why can’t they both do it? Think of the decorations, where it’s going to be, invitations, refreshments, etc. just know that they love you and you love them if they didn’t love you they wouldn’t be fighting over this. Show them this post maybe that will help them understand. Graduations on your new little one. I’m a grandma now Of three and I loved all the time that I have with them. We only had a shower for the first one and it was special. Good luck
Baby showers are hosted by the people closest to you. Sometimes it’s grandma and sometimes it’s your siblings! When your coworkers host a baby shower grandma has nothing to do with that shower
I don’t think there’s a rule that you can only have 1 baby shower…they can both give you one!
When I was expecting, my sister in law threw mine, and my mom was fine with it. When my niece was pregnant I threw her shower along with my sister. I think it’s just whoever wants to take responsibility for it. Maybe your sister in law and your mom could team up and throw the shower together.
My mom and sister threw one for my side of the family and my MIL and SIL threw one for my husband’s side of family. I think you can have multiple and it shouldn’t be an issue.
I had 2. One for each side of the family. No feelings hurt.
I’m not aware of any rules and nobody in my family threw me a baby shower for either pregnancy. I had 1 at work for the first bub.
My mother’s Ladies Club asked her if they could throw me a shower, and then my best friend from childhood gave me one also.
The responsibilities fall on the expectant mother’s closed friends…not family!
I helped with my sister’s which I was a teenager for and my best friend helped me with mine. Never known it to be a mother, either a sister or a friend.
My sister in law planned mine. My mom didn’t even ask.
If married whoever was your maid of honor. Very old fashioned “rule”.
They could do it together. It’s always nice to not have all the expeensives on one person too
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My sister did my oldest daughters baby shower and then my daughters in laws gave her a baby shower ( I was at both). My second daughter gave birth early ( due date August 22, 2021 baby was born July 12, 2021 and is in NICU) I had already planned a baby shower for my daughter for July 25, 2021 which is still going to happen and the other grandmother will be there. I think as long as both grandmothers are at the baby shower is does not matter who gives them.
I was taught immediate family shouldn’t give bridal or baby showers.
When my sister had a baby I organised her baby shower.
I don’t really think there’s a rule who throws it.
Why don’t they just plan it together?
My aunt gave me my first baby shower. Fourteen years later my colleagues gave me a baby shower.
I thought it was any one my daughters was done sorted by her friend who messaged us to tell us ! No big deal lovely they thought of her enough to do this x we all pitched in x
My mom and aunt threw mine for our side of the family and then my sis in law for my husband’s family. Our families didnt get along
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I’m the Mother of 4 girls myself. I also consider it to be tradition that I throw it for them . However, lately there are different types of parties fir showers now. Like men having a diaper shower. Where the Baby Daddy has like a cookout with some sport event playing on TV and his friends bring a bag of diapers as a gift or wipes or both. To make it fun they do a diaper raffle. Prize could be a gift card to dinner and a movie for 2 , or whatever it’s up to you.
They can throw it together. One person can make sure baby have items and the other can make sure you have items since mother’s need to bw taken care of as much as baby.
No rule at all. Most of the people I know had their showers done by friends.
My mother in law threw my first. I threw my own for my second child (asked people for their presence rather that presets for that one). Maybe your mom and sister in law could plan it together? I really don’t think it matters.
SIL clearly didn’t impose since she said she didn’t want to step on any feet. She didn’t actually they’re the shower. Why be upset. And also, if I was the mom I’d have no problem asking SIL to help so she can be included. What’s the issue? Anyone can throw a shower. I had a shower at work, at church and at home for one of my babies. All were surprised and my family was invited to the others.
I have always been told that mom was not to do it…looks like the family can’t afford to outfit the baby! Sisters-in-law are ok as well as best friends, cousins, etc. I’m sure this is very old school…I’m 74.
You can have more than one baby shower. If your mom is set on giving you one for your side of the family and one from your sil side.
Anybody can throw the shower. You can also have more than one, which is what I did (one for each side of the family).
With my oldest, my sister and best friend jointly threw one and my mother-in-law threw the other. With my youngest, my mom threw one and my mother-in-law threw the other. I also had a work baby shower with my first and a church baby shower with both.
I’m British and was taught by my Mum that the future grandmother NEVER hosts the baby or bridal shower!
Maybe they c a n work together on throwing the baby shower. Let mom be in charge.it means soo much to her
My best friend organised the one for my daughter and my neice organised our most recent one for our son. So I would say no set rule
When I had my first at 20 I didn’t know what a baby shower was. Yeah, nobody threw me one
Just make a choice who you want to host most likely it will be your Mom since she feels so strongly about it. Tell SIL it’s a family tradition. Then if you have a “sip and see” after the baby is born SIL can host that event. Or how about gender reveal party
I just assumed it was whoever asked first and if others wanna do it they can all work together and pitch in.
They both can throw you one. It’s all about welcoming the new baby .
I planned all ours my last one was a babyque so everyone could come.
I don’t see why they couldn’t just plan it together. It would ease the stress that comes with party planning and they could both participate…
I had never heard that it’s the mother’s place. My best friends thew mine. I only had one. I always that it was 1 shower for baby 1 not one for every baby. Times have changed.
There’s a rule? 
why don’t they just go together and throw one big one? Or 2 little ones separate and they can both throw it.
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I don’t think there’s any rules, a few of my best mates are organising mine xx
The more people you have hosting the party the less expensive it is for everyone. I would appreciate any help I could get if I was your mother.
Just be happy ANYBODY wants to give you a shower. They should work together if they both feel inclined
that’s a new one, always heard the best friend did it
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When I grew up showers were NOT to be given by family, only friends were accorded that honor.
The etiquette standard is that it’s NOT thrown by immediate family as that would be considered rude. Etiquette has definitely gone by the wayside these days.
I was raised that it was the mother of the women who throws the shower 
and i have thrown many for all my girls.
I did my sister in laws baby shower in 2018 this was my 1st niece with the help of my mum
My in laws threw my shower and it wasnt even my MIL it was an aunt 
have them collab.
I personally would have your mom do it or your mom and husband mom do it. When I had my baby shower my mom, my boyfriend’s mom and step mom did mine together.
I helped my mom throw my sister’s and I did my aunt’s.
Ya’ll could really have 2 baby showers, or have the SIL partner up with your mom, make it as special as they want to.
I never had one because my mother did not believe in it
In my case it was friends who did it for me… i didn’t know there was a rule about baby showers…
I was of the understanding it was the brides maid who gave the shower.
My best friend did mine. No rules on who is supposed to throw it. My mum made the food though.
I was always told a relative didn’t throw a shower, only a friend.
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I planned both of mine 
grandparents and close friends helped with some of the stuff like buying things for it but yeah. I guess its different for everyone
Is there a reason you all can’t work together ?
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