Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Why do guys stop trying once they get the girl?
Idk lol… do I expect it … no, would it be nice once in a while… hell yes
It goes both ways. Men like to be spoiled just because too
What do women do to keep ‘dating’ their partner? I feel men are expected to be so chivalrous and women just get to be spoiled with nothing in return for the men.
Because all guys are the same. The sooner you realize the difference between someone wanting the booty and someone to rub your booty
It will just be a heartbreak.
I mean I cook clean look after our baby’s I rub & tickle his back runs him baths etc and I still get nothing in return I’ve given up expecting anything it would be nice but hey ho
If that is your love language, receiving gifts, you should definitely communicate that to your partner…don’t leave them guessing.
It is not my love language so I wouldn’t appreciate the gesture as much as I should.
I Agree…they r lazy…
After being with someone for 10 years things change. I dont want flowers or edible arrangements. I want my side of the bed warmed up before i get in bed. I want my scrubbie put back on top after he showers. I want a random bath ran with Epson salts and a candle lit. And it all goes both ways. Date nights are still amazing for after 10 years i dont want a “boyfriend” i want a husband. You shouldnt expect a man to still treat you like only his girlfriend.
Start doing the same for him, hell start reciprocating on his own.
Doesn’t this go both ways? Why does it always fall on the guy? Make an effort yourself to date him! Its a partnership isn’t it?
I’ve been with mine for 5 years. Married for 1 and we still go on date nights. Have alone time. Flowers, gifts (randomly)
Guess I lucked out because I have zero complaints over here!!!
do you do it for him?
When was the last time you did something like that for your man?
Constantly working on yourself is very important after getting into a relationship. Getting too comfortable creates all sorts of unnecessary thoughts.
Buy him a gift for a change, show him how to love you, pray he does the same.
I am assuming parents do not teach their kids you have to do kind things for others and that it takes being thoughtful to ppl we care about to keep a relationship strong. Many men and women do not seam to know it.
Because, and this goes for girls too, once you have somebody you think they’re yours forever. The passion dies down eventually in every relationship but that’s where commitment comes in. Everyone just gets caught up going with motions that they forget it’s important to still cherish their partner.
I guess my question is, do you do the same to him?? If you do, then absolutely he needs to step up. If not, maybe he doesn’t feel the love and is shutting down? Or is just in his own head and is Having a hard time? Or doesn’t realize that’s what you want and need to be shown?? Men have feelings too, they need love and support as well.
Been with my hubby for almost 18 years. Things change, expectations and roles and needs change, and if he doesn’t know what you need, it isn’t fair to have these standards
Idk I have never been one of those women that likes flowers or cute things. I spoil my man (concerts, custom shirts) but don’t get anything in return and I’m okay with this. He is a great father to our child and I honestly would trade him even if he isn’t romantic.
How long is that though
I can’t believe some woman on here claiming it for the men…THE men can do it for themselves…WE ARE QUEENS…women…WE AS WOMAN DO MORE AND THATS WHY WE DESERVE ALL OF THE ROMANCE TOO…
Because what he did to get your attention initially can’t possibly be all that he does to keep your attention. You grow, he grows and your relationship grows. I don’t want flowers much anymore. With 5 kids and a household to run and both of us having full time jobs flowers are an empty gesture. Cook dinner, respond to the teachers email, let me lay my head in your lap with complete silence and pet my head while I decompress from work. Don’t stifle him by holding him to the “get my attention” standard. Almost 17 years of marriage later I can assure you “just because” gifts aren’t what you’ll always want.
Years later, 5 kids, I still receive mind-blowing poetry, giant teddy bears, random flowers, songs on His guitar when I can’t sleep, He plays with the kids more than me some days, and insists I’m the lucky one that sleeps in most mornings while He does school drop off…
Because they got you so now what’s the point of trying anymore
It’s the same for girls. Going to/ watching sports that they aren’t interested in, talking about video games, laughing at their not funny jokes…
Some people just don’t continue to put in the effort, and some do.
You’re dating the wrong guys
Cuz theyyyy got you lol
Honeymoon Phase doesn’t last
It’s because he isn’t the right man for you.
Bc their goal was simply to acquire something new (whether intentional or not) but when someone decides to be your SO are they really “yours”? They could decide tomorrow they want to be with someone else. Maintenance should be the goal if there absolutely must be one
U need communicate tell him important it is for you and him to have date night…
do you do the same to him? energies should match
Read the 5 love languages book
You’re dating the wrong guys then. My husband still gets me flowers once or twice a week and brings home things to surprise me. I get long good morning txts every single morning when he’s at work. If he’s off during the week he dies school pick ups and drop offs. He lets me sleep in on weekends, makes me breakfast. And always always helps with the kids and household chores without being asked he is the very best man I know and me and our kids are so lucky to have him.
Ive been in my relationship for 10 years and i get this. Ive done nothing but spoil him but he couldn’t drive 5 miles for 30 min to have lunch with me. Our downfall is communication, i dont like to rock the boat and a couple of months ago I told him how I felt. Now hes trying but im still not happy. If we were to communicate years ago we would probably be doing ok, but now im so unhappy that im over it… Talk to him
Do you do it for him? Surprise him with lunch? Buy him that tool you keep hearing him talk about? Snag a shirt you know he’d love? It’s a two way street.
Yes! Been a Mrs for over a decade and still get random bouquets of wild flowers when we’re cutting hay or when he goes out with his horse. Still stops in the middle of nowhere to dance in the headlights. Still surprises me with a room and a date night out of town. Still takes the kids to town to get me balloons and store bought flowers too.
Because after we knock you up 2-4 times all the money goes to the kids . We’re budgeting , not forgetting about you dates don’t fall out of the budget but my wife would rather me not spend 100$ on a flowers that will die in a week .
She’d rather go on vacation 4 times a year than all that little stuff
Because they are getting the milk for free. Make them work a little to get the milk.
Because it’s a male.
That’s literally just how 99% of them are.
Because he already has you… why would he need to keep winning u over? There are some men that continue to do those things but they’re few and far between lol
Because they don’t think about it like we do. Buy yourself some flowers to remind him
Mine didn’t do this when we first started dating…and 10 years later he still doesn’t. Its all good tho cuz I don’t need any of that stuff…I just need his time and us working together.
They stop appreciating what they have
Real life is not a movie! Lol
My man does. But I also do for him too.
maybe this is something you should talk over with your guy & not us. And I will add, do you also do all of these things for him???
I bf does things that flatter or make me blush fairly often we try to do eating out as a weekly thing
I’ve been with my fiance for 2 years now, and we still try to have a planned date night once a month. It’s been a little hard since our 3 month old joined the family, but we make time for us because as he says, if we don’t make time for us, when the kids are grown up and out of the house, there will be no us. He will always text me on his way to work before he loses service and tells me that he loves me and sometimes he will tell me that he appreciates everything I do for him and our kids. I return the favor too. It works both ways.
It’s not only men. And they definitely shouldn’t be the only ones making romantic gestures like that. It works both ways hun.
My husband never stopped sending me flowers, leaving me love notes, making my lunch or breakfast, heart-shaped pancakes, ect. mailing me cards, he was also an artist and made me roses all the time!! They just don’t make’em like that anymore!! He passed away almost 10 years ago. I miss him every single day!!!
I’d like to point out its a two way street. Do you do all the same things you used to… to flirt, impress and spoil him?
Sometimes life and kids and bills can get in the way.
You have to make time for each other. But if the only parts you miss are being showered with gifts and monetary things…maybe you should reevaluate what matters
Honestly it depends on the man and the relationship. My husband buys me breakfast and brings it to me in bed sometimes when he comes home in the morning after working nights. He buys me jewelry, flowers, helps with laundry and housework and always opens doors for me. We have been together 6 years
Mine knows from the begining if he does not do those things, im gone
I’m gonna go ahead and say,this could go both ways.We tend to forget about our SO as well.We should be working together as a team.
Do women continue to “date” them? Not usually…
Cause men that’s why
It should go both ways for men and women.
My husband is still chasing me, even after five kids. He still does the surprises for no reason. Flowers, jewelry, lingerie etc are things he does often, but he always gives me his time, too. He opens doors, comes home for lunch and calls me from work. I also don’t just act like his wife. I treat him like I’m his lover. I always smile when he gets home, I dress for him and I always say thank you when he does something for me. I think it’s important for everyone to keep doing all the things they did when they were working to win their partner over. If your partner never did the just because flowers, etc, it’s probably just not something he does to show appreciation. Men are so different.
It goes both ways. If you want your man to spoil you & appreciate you more then you should be doing the same for him. You can’t expect him to make an effort for you if you can’t make an effort for him. Relationships go both ways. It saddens me that we still live in an age where men have to do all the wooing.
Five years later and my man still bring me home flowers every couple weeks. He’d do it every week but as he says “it would lose it’s specialness” if he did that. When I’m working (I’m a substitute teacher) he will put my favorite candy and a sweet note in my lunchbox and I’ll come home to a mopped floor - at the very least. I know I’m lucky, I make sure to show him how much I appreciate him, but not all men stop when they get the relationship.
Sure blame it on the guy. Women do it to and can be alot meaner then a guy
My hubby is still “chasing” me after 20 years…i am spoiled…we spoil each other!
Cuz he’s lazy
Already have her
Cuz we make him mad and annoyed and to punish her by not giving
Abuse to punish
You may have just picked the wrong man. Also it’s not always about the unexpected flowers. Sometimes it’s when he does the dishes that have been piled up for 3 days or brings your sunglasses to the car while you buckle your kid in bc he knows you’d forget them and he knows you’d be mad 5 minutes down the road because the sun’s in your eyes. Or when he goes to 3 different stores because you want a birthday gift to be JUST right for everybody and you didn’t like anything at the first 2 stores. It’s the small things girlfriend!! Life ain’t a movie! You gotta recognize the things specially to YOU. But if he does nothing then YEA ya picked the wrong man try again:rofl:
Once you say, “I do,” you don’t.
Some guys are very literal, tell them what you want and like. Married 18 yrs now. I love the random bunches of flowers💐
My partner still opens the car door / front door for me, carries the shopping (won’t let me do it if it’s heavy ) calls me on his way to work and on his breaks as well as his way home, buys me little treats, has bought me multiple bouquets of flowers, constantly supporting my mental health and helping especially when dad was murdered 2 months ago, he is my rock and constantly “chases” me, even often says “hey I’m such and such I thought you were cute would you like to go on a date with me “ I’m so lucky
The good ones don’t stop
Because they don’t care. You think about them, and surprise surprise… they only think about them too.
If you’re taking care of him emotionally, you’ve asked for him to care for you and he won’t, just walk. It won’t change and you’re going to end up with a lot of wasted time if you wait for it to.
It REALLY is the little things & he knows that, because you do it for him & it makes him happy. He just doesn’t care about your feelings sis if he doesn’t respond to your needs at all. Sorry. accept and move on, all will be happier that way.
Like the men can say why do women have less sex with them when in a relationship than they did when trying to hook them.
My husband doing things like comforting me in stressful times, telling me I’m beautiful when I feel down on myself, just being there when I need him. Those moments are my flowers.
Love is not an object that can be given.
Although it is nice to receive gifts as reminders. We also should remember that we all show and receive love in different ways.
Married 42 years. Every morning starts with a hug and a kiss. He tells me daily how cute I look. He still wants to touch me hold my hand while watching tv. Always wants to be by my side. Oh there are lots of things he could do flowers, gifts, etc those are things. He shows his love daily.
My husband and I haven’t been on a date since our son was born and he’s 4…
You’re with the wrong guy. My partner and I constantly spoil each other.
Why buy the cow when the milk is free?
? I do not have this issue. We been together only a couple years though but we are lively so I doubt thatll change. Not everyone is like that. Some people just probably get tired and stop? Maybe you need to surprise them and make them feel the butterflies from time to time?
My husband and I aren’t outwardly romantic, we’re practical. He shows his love in other ways. My car is always filled up by Sunday night so I don’t have to worry about stopping at a gas station during the work week. If it’s raining, he’ll run out in a parking lot and drive the car up so I don’t have to get wet. He returns the shopping cart so I can get in the air conditioning. He’ll stop for things we need after work so I don’t have to leave again. He makes me my Sunday coffee and takes out the dog so I can have a nice peaceful start one day a week. He works hard so we can raise our kids comfortably. I make his plate and try to have dinner ready for when he gets home from work. I wash his laundry so he doesn’t have to worry about it. It’s stuff like that that we use to show we care. We don’t need to be romanced to feel loved I guess.
Do you surprise him? Goes both ways and the worst thing we do in relationships is expect things. I wouldn’t do anything for anyone if its expected and not appreciated. I wouldn’t surprise someone with anything unless they show this too. Its not always about what the guy does or doesn’t do. Its about what you both don’t do for each other. Girls expect a guy to do it all. Guys want these things too their just taught to hide it and be manly.
Sometimes it’s call
You get busy working, paying bills, raising a family, your priorities change.
And material things shouldn’t be what you see as surprises. Take anything he does for you like even cooking dinner one night or letting you sleep in if you have kids.
Been with my partner 2 years we have 7 kids . I have 4 he has 2 and we have 1 together. We have been on 1 date lol. We don’t surprise each other with things all the time but flowers once in a while or just little things like fav choc or drink wen at the shops. My partner shows it different ways like if I’m having a bad day he will sit with me while I shower and talk it out or he will clean the house (he works long days) these things make me feel special and wanted. I do the same for him. We lay in bed at night and he will hold my hand or we cuddle while watching a movie . He is a good man. Maybe ur partner will show it other ways. Im greatful for what we have and how we show that we care.
We both came from shitty r/ships so this more then enough for us
Mine hasn’t stopped trying. We’ve been married for 37+ years and he still brings me surprises every now and then, and brings me food without my asking. AND he is being tested to be my living Kidney Donor! <3
Tell him plainly and clearly what you want. Appreciate the things he does that you may not think of as romantic, like taking care of spiders in the house, opening jars for you, checking the fluids in your car or getting it washed. How about making arrangements for things, making phone calls to get things fixed, looking up information? They are all ways of saying he loves you.
Open your eyes and actively look for ways he looks after you and thank him for it. Then reciprocate by doing nice things for him. Maybe think of ways he can surprise you without spending money too. And don’t expect him to think of these on his own. Men aren’t wired or socialized this way. Write him a list of ways to be romantic that you would like and that he can refer to on occasion. Then ask him to make a list of little ways he’d like to be shown love too and give him two weeks to think of things, and let him know he can add to the list anytime.
If you have rent/mortgage paid, food on the table, clothes on your back, he brings home a paycheck because he has a job and responsibilities. Don’t buy into commercial ideas of flowers and gifts just cause you want to date your husband. Be thankful you have a good provider that loves you. I’m married 44 years and happier than ever but my husband now can lavish me in gifts and surprises me. I also reciprocate and treat him very well. That’s the secret to a long and happy marriage.
Yep that’s why people get divorced
Tiffanie and I buy each other things, do little surprises for each other, shoe appreciation for one another all the time. you have to do for your significant other without expecting anything, do it because you enjoy the reaction your partner has. THIS is a real relationship.
I rather all the bills paid Lmao
Have you expressed these feelings to your guy?
Love languages are a thing. What you may love may not be something he’s in tune with because he may have a different love language. Sometimes, it just takes communication to get them to just know, you know? Like for me, I’m all about being of service and I love it when my partner does the same for me. We both take the time to do things for each other that makes life easier that we may not care too much about. For him, he’s a very touchy-feely person. He loves for love to be physical, so we always take time to make sure we have “us” time. It took us some time to work with each other through communicating to get it figured out.
Try to spice things up too. Do some things he likes and surprise him with it. Make sure you’re taking care of him too.
Some guys do and other guys don’t… You also have to consider are you still doing the same things at the beginning of the relationship?
My fiance and I still hold hands we do occasional date nights. I don’t think he has ever bought me flowers but he has picked me wild ones which to me are 1000x better lol just the thought of him walking around picking flowers makes my heart flutter he’s more romantic than I am lol
Maybe he realizes you aren’t the girl
He ain’t a good one. Throw him back.
It’s a 2 way street…
Mine helped me cook last night, it’s not all about gifts but him just spending that time with me meant so much. I thanked him and he says I didn’t do much, I told him I appreciate the help but enjoyed the time most.
Cuz they’re fake in the beginning.
Coz we are hoping that once you look past all the flowers and jewerly you figure out that we are a decent person to be with and don’t need all that materialistic stuff.
It goes both ways.
It depends on the people in the relationships. Some people stop trying, some people show it in different ways, some people keep up the romance.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Why do guys stop trying once they get the girl?