Why doesn't my husband want me to cook for him?

I always try to make my husband nice lunches and dinners. Last night, he told me I don't need to always make him lunch and he can take care of himself. Then he told me he doesn't need a 5 star dinner every night either. I'm feeling really awkward and hurt. I thought I was doing the right thing bc he usually tells me how delicious my cooking is... Can someone tell me why he suddenly feels like this?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Why doesn't my husband want me to cook for him?

He may be thinking about making things easier for u

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I think sometimes people just aren’t in the mood for big dinners? I guess he could suggest what he does want instead of saying that to you though. I see a lot of men complain if the wife isn’t cooking.

Is/was his mother very smothering? That’s the only thing I can think of, that maybe his mom always did too much for him, babied him, which made him feel smothered by her?

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Maybe he just wants you to know that you can take a break every once in a while and let him order pizza for dinner and McDonald’s for lunch.

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Wow this would be like a dream for my husband to say this to me :sweat_smile::sweat_smile::sweat_smile::sweat_smile::sweat_smile:

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No we can’t tell you why he suddenly feels like this, but he can. Ask him. Not us. Everything else anyone says is speculations and assumptions which will fill your head when all you have to do is talk to your husband. Communication. Don’t overthink it and make yourself go crazy. Just ask him. Talk to him. Be open tell him how you feel

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Yes it sounds like he just trying to let you know, you don’t always have to go above and beyond. It’s ok to take a break from anything, sometimes. But I would ask why he said that. Not in a confrontation manor. Just like hey, what did you mean by that? Very casual in tone…

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Depending on what he does for a living and the weather in your area, my husband doesn’t want large meals on days he gets super hot at work. We just kind of go off of one another and figure out what type of dinner works best, day to day. He may have you in mind also :purple_heart:

Just being honest because this is how I am…are you not a good cook? My husband hates when I cook for him because I’m not a good cook.

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Why don’t you just ask him the question? He is really the only one who knows the answer

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Sounds like you take great care of your hubby and he is reciprocating by telling you to take a break :two_hearts:

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Girl! It won’t last long enjoy it while you can! My husband doesn’t eat unless I cook….

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Man, I wish my husband was like this…

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Hopefully he’s just in a mood

I would LOVE for my man to tell me he can take care of himself :joy:

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Lucky lol I wish my husband say that​:joy:…but I guess wether he doesn’t want you to get tired preparing food everyday or he think the fancy food cost a monthly budget :woman_shrugging:

My husband the same way. He doesn’t really ever eat anything I make but he is also really picky. So I let him get himself dinner and he has never once complained lol. Fine by me!

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Try asking him :woman_shrugging:t2:

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My man told me I only think of myself yet I make lunch supper clean up and do laundry :weary: not bitching but I pissed me the F off!!

I wish lol let him give you a break

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I agree with most he’s probably just letting you know you can chill sometimes and not fuss over him. Maybe he wants to go to lunch with friends but doesn’t cuz he feels guilty when he has a perfectly good delicious lunch you spent so much time on for him. Who knows, I agree with everyone, just ask him.

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Can we switch husband ?

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Maybe it’s not sudden - just ask him about it.

Do you do all of this for him snd then through it up in his face?? Don’t jump on me now, I’m just asking a question.

Idk he’s an adult who can make his own food. So maybe he figures there is no need for you to always do it or to make a big production. Just saying big production cause he said 5 star dinner. Maybe he doesn’t need really fancy meals and sometimes prefers something more simple. He could like some of the meals he makes and sometimes wants them. Or maybe he feels like you don’t need to baby him. Only be can tell you the reason why, we are all just guessing.

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Guys point of view - we are simple minded creatures. Most days a sandwich with a few chips and soda is plenty , not that we don’t appreciate it but we are ok with a quick fix

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None of us can tell you why your husband suddenly doesn’t want you to cook every night. Communication is key to successful relationships, you need to sit down and have an adult conversation. Hey I love cooking for you, but hey he might want to grab a bite with his buddies for lunch. Just talk

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This will be my son when he marries someone… he cooks a bit now at age 12, and he just prefers to snack on food and doesn’t like big meals… tonight my hubby made sandwiches before I got home and he’s fine with that

He doesn’t like your cooking :woman_shrugging:

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My husband and I had this discussion a while ago us women tend to over think things, so some nights just meat and veg or a simple dinner will do and if you are tired he will make a sandwich it doesn’t all fall on you

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Mine is happy with what I make… It’s just the two of us… Today it was steak stir fry and yellow rice nothing exciting. But we both ate it. He finished it off. So that is a good battle

Maybe he just doesn’t want you to feel like you have to be slaving in the kitchen for him 24/7, he’s trying to give you a break! Not all men are like this, so appreciate it and don’t be so hard on yourself/overthink it!

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Bonus…he takes you out???

I think you guys might need to sit down and talk that one out.

Or just do what I would do and go get a box of Mac and cheese and hotdogs. Cook that up for him for the next week. :joy:

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How long have you been married? Have you always made meals this way? Are meals being completed on time or after they being served late? Do you ever complain about how much coming you do or throw it in his face? Does he think you’re overworked? Has he withdrawn from you in any other area of your relationship?

Not enough information.

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Why don’t you just ask him?

Talk to him. Nobody knows him like you do

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My husband does the same thing. He tells me that I’m not his maid and he can do it. Lol I’m not gonna lie I do get in my feelings about it cuz I was brought up and seen women in my family cater to their husbands but it is nice to not have to cook a big meal ALL THE TIME and not clean up every little thing after him. He just doesn’t like you seeing you over work yourself or at least that’s the case with my husband and I.

maybe he don’t like your cooking babe🥺 not tryna dog you or anything but it could be that he’s picky or maybe his taste buds have changed i’m very picky myself unless i cook my own food 9/10 i won’t eat it and i try to spare those who want to cook for me or get me food from somewhere like i’m good i promise that will just go to waste maybe watch some cooking shows and put some finesse on it💓 or maybe it has nothing to do with him maybe he picks something up on the way home and isn’t hungry and doesn’t want you to waste food or go thru any trouble to make him something when he already ate and didn’t bring you anything idk tho but that’s just what i thought of

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Make more simple meals?

Maybe you’re just cooking stuff he’s not in the mood for.

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Never ever bring up past issues because he just won’t come home :house_with_garden: as much :sob:

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He knows how hard you work for him and he is trying to let you know not to stress yourself out so much for his dinner that’s all don’t feel bad about it sweetie

As him, we don’t know🤷‍♀️

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I don’t cook one night and my husband is like, oh this is a prison I hate it here, I’ll just starve :sob::sob::sob:

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ده راجل نمرود…:grimacing:
اتطلقي ياختي وتعالي مصر نجوزك سيد سيده وهتنبسطي لحد ماتبعتي مشكلتك تاني بس المرادي هتقولي نفسي يعتقني من وقفة المطبخ:point_up::woman_facepalming:t2::joy:

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My husband had me stop making his lunches because the shit he was given at work. There maybe a reason behind it maybe he would like more simple meals for dinner

Sometimes men just want something easy. Ramen, cereal, frozen pizza. He’s not saying don’t ever make it again he’s just saying you don’t have to go all out every meal.

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He’s trying to ease the responsibility off of you by letting you know that if you do a quick meal or nothing at all, he’ll be alright. He may not know you enjoy it.

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Shoot girl! Let him fend for himself then!! Take that extra time for you!!

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Maybe he is looking out for you.

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Bs he is a selfish sob sorry

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Maybe he just wants Dino nuggets and box Mac n cheese lol.

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Try asking him what he wants for dinner. I ask my husband daily what he is in the mood for. Sometimes its grilled cheese and tomato soup. Sometimes its burgers or pizza. Hot wings are a favorite at our house too. Other times he says idk you pick. Sometimes we decide to make a full fancy meal. Maybe he is just wanting a change something easy? I dont think he meant it in a rude way

The most obvious to me is he’s eating before he comes home !!! Perhaps with a woman :high_heel: , men constantly daydream and never appreciate the beautiful woman that tries with all her heart to please :pleading_face: him !!! Pray pray pray :pray::pray: :pray: because only JESUS BLOOD can make everything new :pray::pray::pray:

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Either you’re complaining how hard you work and how tired you are, and he’s feeling guilty or like a burden, or he is being considerate and wants you to do more things for yourself and expand your interests, life.

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Sounds like he’s annoyed with you… idk why but you should ask him why is he acting like that

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Beans and toast is the easiest dinner, see how he likes it. Just saying……

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He probably wants pizza, BLT, spaghetti. Something simple and easy to make sometimes. We have pancakes for dinner sometimes because why not. Ask him why. I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t like your food.

He’s trying to be sweet and letting you know that you don’t have to do so much for him.

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Mine doesn’t want me slaving away on meals, and sometimes he’d rather just grab a corn dog or pizza with the guys :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Like, How good is your cooking?

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I quit eating after I witnessed my love one loves to cook but loves the pets too. One day he is petting the dogs, next thing I know I walk behind him, opens fridge n gets the steaks out n starts to cook. Hell, I just saw him scratching on the dogs, n then cook. Dinner was almost ready and I excused my self n went on

You got to be very clean when cooking, you can not touch your face, touch hair , put fingers on food after. People are watching every step you do when cooking, that’s why you never see restaurant kitchen

mine gets like that sometimes but he is happy with just sausages and kd at times or burgers something simple

Maybe he wants to eat out once in a while? Sometimes a pizza or something sounds good lol

My SO loves when I cook big dinners, but also knows our home gets hot af when I’m cooking, and keeping up with a toddler at the same time, he expects frozen pizza, or spaghetti on some nights.

Maybe every once a while he wants you to know it’s OK to just make fish sticks.

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That’s fine with me. Let him make his own lunch and dinners. Maybe a few times a week would be ok. I am sure he will be fine with that. If not, well that’s his loss.

Girl be thankful mine always wants me to cook and I’m just like ughhhhh

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Mac n cheese and hot dogs for him it is

Why are you complaining girl most women have a man that treats them like a slave

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  1. Maybe he is gaining too much weight or you both are and he just wants to cut back. or …2. Are you complaining about all the hard work you have to do every day making special meals for him?
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Maybe you making his meals for him makes him feel like you’re trying to be his mom and not his wife.:woman_shrugging: Maybe he wants to cook dinner with you. The assumptions are endless on this. The best answer is to ask him.

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Sooooo I used to have a husband who would get his plate ready for himself, leave his plate on the table or counter, and I would get our sons’ plates ready, feed them and then I would sit there and eat my dinner…alone. Needless to say I’m happily divorced now.

Mine says this all the time. He’s absolutely fine with having simple dinners as he knows I work, take care of kids and keep the house clean. He doesn’t even care if I miss a day or two of housework tbh. He’d rather me not stress over the little things and relax with him after kids are in bed.

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If your cooking is so good why wouldn’t he want it :sweat_smile: instead of a strangers food
Weird asf to me
Like he wants you to never cook ?

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Maybe it’s his way of reducing your workload

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My husband has said this too but only bc he is trying to help me out.

Maybe he’s trying to lose weight.ask him.

Maybe you should have a conversation for dinner with him instead of food. A dish of YOU HURT MY FEELINGS W/WHAT YOU SAID TO ME & a side of I DO THOSE THINGS CUZ I’M YOUR WIFE AND I LOVE YOU Jerk :grimacing: with a big fat WHAT DO YOU PREFER ME TO DO FOR MEALS for DESSERT…lol
Just come out and ask him…you should be able to do that as husband and wife. Talk to him :wink:

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Maybe he truly feels bad that you spend so much time making him food…? Or do you complain about making him food? Maybe he just doesn’t have enough time to eat all that? Idk, but I wouldn’t be hurt by it. Be thankful that you’ll have a little more free time.

Ask him why the change?

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This is a joke right?

He probably wants you to relax hun

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Hun, thats him being sweet… He’s trying to tell you that you don’t have to go all out, all the time, that you can take it easy once in awhile.

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What did his mama say to him?

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Let chef boyardee start cooking his meals for him!!

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He’s just saying you don’t need to go all out for him. He appreciates it but it’s not needed. He said he doesn’t need a mom, he wants a wife. Accept it.

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Make him some helper. No one’s gonna complain. Take it easy

Let the ungrateful feed himself !

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You can come over and make me dinner instead. I’ll appreciate you. :joy:

How tf do we know? :rofl: ask him :see_no_evil:
& im not meaning to sound rude at all x

Yeah I think that would hurt my feelings a little too but I’m sure it’s not because you’re a bad cook. Maybe ask him what he wants or if he’s hungry before you make something? Always works for me. :slightly_smiling_face:

That man likes takeout food hah don’t take it to heart

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Ask him…something is up

Learn about love languages. It sounds like your love language is acts of service where as his may be different.

Different is fine as long as both of you are respecting and showing love the way the other person needs it.

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Maybe he’s just trying to give you a break? He sees how much work you put into it and is telling you that it’s always needed and he’ll still be happy? If it’s bothering you just let him know that it’s a way of you showing him that you love him.

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