I think you need to end the relationship. You obviously can’t handle his son so why continue it? Your just going to hurt yourself in the long run
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This is a good opportunity for you to teach his child respect. It may build your relationship with the child. Just be kind and fair to his child and treat him the same as you would your own. He comes as a package just like you have came with a package. The child may be acting out because he wants to feel as part of your family and needs to be shown love and acceptance.
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If you can’t watch his child then you shouldn’t be with him because it’s a package deal so yes you are wrong and he should leave you
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Time for new bfriend
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LMFAOOOOOOO ain’t NO WAY I’m caring for a disrespectful child who doesn’t listen to me nope sorry!
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There’s a lot of information missing here. Do you and your boyfriend live together? Is he working to pay the bills while you stay home for the summer? Does the child live with the dad/the two of you and through the school year it’s only nights and weekends?
One way or the other, If you plan to be with this man, his child comes with him. How would you feel if the situation was reversed and you were working and he was off for the summer? The child having behavior issues should be addressed together. If you can’t accept this man’s child, the two of you have no future.
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nope if it isn’t your kid it’s not your job loll
Nip it now or you’ll be watching his child while he goes other places… As a single parent of years past I’ve seen this lack of responsibility. He needs to be responsible for his own child and not burden you with his previous mistakes. just an opinion. be strong.
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Sorry but its all or nothing. Also in a blended family. There are always occasions to spend individual time with each child. Special one on one time with each child will make a world of difference.
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In my opinion hard or not if you enter a relationship with someone with kids their kids become a responsibility for you as well and you don’t get to choose when they are a responsibility. I’ve dated people in the past with young kids and I provided for them financially and gave love and helped care for them when my significant other worked etc just as they did with mine. If that’s not the case and you provide for your children they provide for theirs then I suppose you have the right to say it’s going to be too much to handle I can’t do it. But keep in mind it will create resentment not only from your partner but from the child that feels unwanted as well.
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No I wouldn’t watch a kid that is disrespectful
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You’ve already decided you don’t want the kid there. Do everybody a favor and just say no. Children sense when they aren’t wanted and he’s better off somewhere where he won’t be judged and ridiculed by someone in a faux parental role. It’s bad for his psych. Also consider the child before you get into a live in committed relationship with this guy.
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If you plan on being With this man u need to have a serious talk first. But of you dont like His kid now he should leave you
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Not wrong. But I’d be bringing this up to him and why. Maybe you can also think of solutions. If y’all got married then his kid is fair game and can’t be left out etc
You are NOT a free babysitter. No way I would let his child ruin my children’s summer or mine, he needs to figure something else out for now as it seems to be a work in progress.
The fact that he just told you and didn’t ask or discuss it is beyond me.
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I mean no but also break up if you aren’t going to accept his child
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It’s kind of a package deal, if you don’t want anything to do with his child than a relationship will probably not work, i get that the child doesn’t listen and is disrespectful, but how old is said child? If you and your boyfriend live together and the child is staying for the summer, if not, does the child live with him or the mom? And also, the child might feel like you’re taking the place of their mom or maybe there’s stuff going on at home you don’t know about if the child lives with the mom. Be patient and try talking to the child and your boyfriend about your concerns, otherwise maybe it’s time to find a new boyfriend because it’s also not fair to his child and may make the child feel more alienated and that may cause more issues down the road
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Your relationship won’t last.
That’s his child. He obviously trusts you with said child. At this point it’s time to be an adult in the child’s life. Meaning that when they disrespect or disobey you, you recorrect them. But your relationship won’t work because your not willing to try with said child and if your boyfriend is a true dad he would kick you to the curb.
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Depends how long you guys have been together I mean there’s no ring on your finger apparently so therefore don’t do wife duties with a girlfriend label
How would u feel if he was staying home with his child this summer n u were working. And he told u that he’s not keeping us? I say u need to let the man n his child go to find someone that will help manage the kid n love him
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Sounds like you need to get a new boyfriend… For HIS sake…
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question - if you never plan to have this relationship go beyond a “boyfriend”; then technically it is a “nightstand” relationship. however, if you do plan to take this relationship to the altar, you need to start figuring out how to get this kid to be respectful and to listen…might as well start now.
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You should break up with him if you don’t accept his child. You sound like a b ! T c h
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You are judging a child
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I hope he finds a new girlfriend that doesn’t play favorites with the kids. Yikes.
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I think of you don’t want to watch his kid you need to end the relationship. It’s all or nothing
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For real though if that’s how you feel about his child, end the relationship. That is a package deal and you should have known that going into it. Don’t drag it out and for God’s sake don’t marry the man and become a stereotypical evil stepmother
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No it isn’t your job to be his babysitter. He can hire someone to watch his kid at his house or he can make arrangements with the child’s mother to watch her own child when he is unavailable. There’s no reason for him to drag his kid into your home and leave it there.
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Why don’t you watch him and help guide the child on the right path. I had to do that with my bonus baby but I made it very clear. If they don’t listen. I will tear their ass up. About after 2. I never had any more problems with them. Minded to the T. Went back to mom, now you can’t handle her. Now it’s not my problem. If it don’t change after a couple of weeks. Explain to him on what’s going on and why you don’t want to. Don’t make him feel like his child is an inconvenience to you right off the bat. I’ve been there before, I understand but in the end if this man is who you want to be with the rest of your life. Learn to lovingly accept the child or be honest and end it with him. I’ve had 3 bonus babies living with me and I never made a difference between them and mind and neither does their daddy.
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How do you not work and get to stay home lmao
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Its kind of a package deal. If you have issues with his child then the adult thing to do is talk with him about it. If y’all progress further along and say, get married then his child is your your child. Bit that should be how both of yall think about each other children anyway. Again y’all need to sit down and have a real talk and if you can’t get over his bad child then you need to leave now
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Wow! Yes tell him!!! Then I hope he dumps you!!!
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he needs disaplem and not your place
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If you live together yes you’re straight wrong. Why is it you can care for your own but not his to help out that’s just disrespectful on your end. You’re dating him and by dating him you’re also in a relationship with his kid. You don’t get to pick an choose between just being their for your kids an not his. It doesn’t work like that. If you’re dating an it’s serious enough that you’ve met an know each other’s kids then guess what you are equally responsible for that child as his father is. If you can’t wrap your head around his kid being present for whatever time he has his kid then he needs to dump you and move on bc you are not being respectful to him or his child. Your kids aren’t anymore special than his.
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You’re not wrong, I really dislike bad children and won’t watch them. However if this is a man you thought of having a future with; it’s over now, because that child is a package deal. I know that’s harsh but it’s the truth.
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If u can’t accept his child then u dont need to be with him
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if he’s allowing you to be a stay at home mom and supporting you and your kids then yes you should be watching his. if that’s not the case maybe you should move along. kids are difficult in these situations and if you don’t want to put in time and effort with said child you shouldn’t be with the father. I say this because my boyfriend tries so hard to put in time and effort with my middle child because she difficult hes not running or avoiding her.
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Do you live together? Is he working so that you can stay home? Do you plan to stay together forever?
If you answered yes to any of those and still don’t want to watch HIS son, then do him a favor and go away so he can make a life with a real woman.
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I mean, don’t be surprised if your relationship ends. He’s a father first, so that’s something to consider when dating someone with children
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How would you feel if he didn’t want to watch yours if need be? When you chose him as a partner you chose his child too. Youre ridiculous. What if yall were married and said child was living with you full time? Like tf
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Package deal. May be the best for all.
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Yikes! Why are you with him if you don’t even want to be around HIS child.
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Is he paying all of the bills so you can stay home with “not his” children?
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Is he paying all of the bills so you can stay home with “not his” children?
Yikes. First of all start working together with your boyfriend to help the kids behavior, if this is a man you plan to be with long term then you need a solution to the problem. Kids are a package deal.
I’m not sure what your home life/financial situation is, but for ME personally if I’m the one working/paying the bills and my bf/gf is at home and not working I would definitely hope my partner would be willing to help me out with my kid while I’m out working to provide for you and yours.
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So you’re ok with being sponsored by him, but aren’t willing to help him care for his child? Yeaaaah, that sounds very convenient, only for you, you’re not doing anything for the relationship, maybe it’d be better to find someone who’s single, that kid and him deserve so much more
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I hope he leaves you. Deadass. He and his son deserve more.
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Um… are you serious… 1.grow up and accept the fact he has kids and 2… yes u are completely wrong for that. U need a man without kids apparently. It’s a package deal. Especially if he worms and u don’t
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My kids go with their dad on weekends (or just whenever he’s in town during the summer) my fiancé’s kids come here most weekends so there are a lot of times that his kids are here & mine aren’t… no big deal…I still cook them breakfast & dinner like I would & do for my own kids,even when he’s at work or when I’m working… I feel like that’s how it should be… he takes my kids to school when he’s off & let’s me sleep in if we’re off the same day… my kids (obviously) are around him a lot more than his own kids… it’s a 2 way street… no kids are left put or left wondering if they matter
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If you don’t like his kid you shouldn’t be with him
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Are you a stay ar home mom? Do you guys live together? There’s so many questions. If the answer is yes.
Then you need to be accepting of his child.
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Not at all. That’s exactly what I would do
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I broke up with a guy whose kids were so misbehaved and didn’t get along with my daughter. There’s no future if you can’t accept each others kids. You have that right. But to stay with him and not watch his kid for these reasons is not ok.
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Are you a parent and wife or a spoiled child? Get on board with setting an example of good behavior, set boundaries and maintain structure. Like it or not, he is your step-son, not your “husband’s child” and you are obligated to play a positive role in his life or risk losing the other half of the duo. They came as a package deal and you knew that when you married his father.
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Yikes maybe do some bonding things to do together with the kids. He may be terribly misunderstood, he may just need some attention. Can you try and give him some undivided attention of playing and talking, that’s how I always got my boys and now my grandson to talk about things.
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I started dating a man in late February , he had two boys age 12 & 13 …
After meeting them on several occasions, I was Not impressed, I was actually shocked and disgusted .
The 3 hour drive home from their house was sickening from their body odor …
I just figured, ehh; boys play hard, it’s April in Florida, it’s blazing hot out …
Boyfriend drops me off at home & they go to his house, a 1b/1b apartment . These two kids aren’t tiny boys, their bigger than me 5’5" 125 lbs…
We go to dinner at a casual place, they are freshly showered, but dressed in literal RAGS, dirty stained, ripped clothes, filthy torn shoes , makes me sad, makes me wonder if bf is not adequately financially supporting his ex wife, or what her part in it is or maybe their just teens who are sloppy, whatever boys aren’t always concerned with their appearance, it wasn’t that bad, I guess, I just blew it off …the kids are loud, rowdy, annoying… bf scolds them repeatedly , they chill out for a few but start back up, he tells them to knock it off, they chill, they start back up, it went round & round like this the entire time:person_facepalming:. I just blew it off, they’re just kids, they ARE funny, I laugh & joke with them, but try not to encourage them, they haven’t seen their dad in a month, whatever, they’re just showing off, being silly…But their table manners 
Chewing with their mouth open, talking with food spilling out of their mouth, using their hands to eat food that clearly requires a fork, unless your a toddler, belching, farting, playing with food, throwing a few FF. The bf scolds them, they chill, they start up again, bf corrects them, close your mouth, use a fork ect .round & round …
I kind of pass it off, after all they Are Kids, but the other half of me thinks, this is Unacceptable lack of manners & discipline But, whatever …
After dinner I go home, they go to the apartment. Sat we go to beach, they are fine, normal rowdy boys, argue here and there like siblings do, eat nonstop, like kids do, especially boys, with the same tasteful manners as at dinner, lol…
After a long day at beach we go to my house, shower and bf & I prepare dinner .
I go into guest bathroom
OMG…
there is a thin layer of water in the hall…the floor has a good quarter inch of water there are 4/5 bath towels & sandy beach towels on the floor, they are So wet when you pick one up water runs off it …the counter is flooded, there are wet sandy bathing suits on the floor, a brand new bottle of shampoo is completely empty …
Someone had a massive BM and didn’t flush, wet TP on the floor …
Bf spend a good 45 mins to an hour mopping and cleaning the mess …
I just kind of blew it off, thinking; ehh they’re just kids, maybe weren’t taught better , it’s just water, sand and wet towels.
Dinner was a repeat of the night before, except not as funny, but they did have me laughing at their antics here and there, I just figured they’re trying to show off, they’re just kids being silly …
Sunday they go home.
A few weeks later, school is out for summer bf tells me he is going to have them for a month . BF also TELLS me that the three of them are going to stay at my house since it’s a 3b/2b house & his apartment is a tiny 1b… he TELLS me, NOT asks … we’ve Only been dating since the end of Feb and it’s mid May …
Me thinking, it Does make sense, it’ll be fun…
And there WERE fun times the month they were there…
BUT their manners, sloppiness , filth they created, half eaten food , dishes and glasses hidden under the beds , refusal to shower for 2/3 days in the blazing heat of Florida, going to bed stinky and dirty with Filthy dirty feet when , that the mattress was stained and Smelled of BO I had to have it steam cleaned, but bf offered to pay. And the fighting, yelling and screaming… OMFG
I worked … I got up at 5:30 am, get to work at 7, work 10 hour days, get home at 6 pm… I worked as a Medical/Surgical Asst and was the patient coordinator at a PCP doctor’s office, three nites a week I would leave the office at 5:30 and work as a server till 11:30 pm .
Those kids were up watching tv, playing video games,banking snacks, running around, fighting, screaming and yelling with each other, with their dad & him with them till 1/2 AM .
My bf didn’t work, he got hurt and was collecting workman’s comp, so those three slept till noon or ?? BUT he did ALL of the cooking, cleaned up after the three of them, did laundry, cut grass, and even did my laundry, so he did take responsibility for his kids … I was 41 he was 45 , my daughter was 19 and had been out of the house and away at college since she graduated HS at 15
y/o and although she was a clean, neat, had good manners and very smart; she gave me a run for my money and wasn’t always pleasant to live with, to put nicely , I was enjoying the stress free, peaceful quiet of a kid free life & by 19 she chilled out and wasn’t such a snotty brat anymore .
At the end of the month I realized, I couldn’t live with his kids and was honest about it, and we should break up .
The person your dating comes as a package deal when they have kids…
I just couldn’t handle the package, I couldn’t live with the filth, fighting, screaming, bad table manners, lack of discipline and constant chaos . I DID like the kids, they were nice, sweet, kind we had fun, a lot of laughs, but I just didn’t want to live with the other stuff , it wasn’t the right fit.
Turns out I made the right choice !
Their dad thought it was a good idea to smoke pot and get drunk with them a few years later, according to his sister. Since I didn’t smoke pot or allow it at my house, it was 2004, pot wasn’t looked at the same as now and I could loose my medical certifications , licenses & job; he’d leave the kids alone and go the few blocks to his apt to smoke . But WHO gets drunk with their teen kids ?!?
The kids started selling pot when they were in high school, getting it from their dad, posting pics on Facebook advertising how much they had for sale, like quarter and half pounds ! One kid got busted at 17
y/o, their mom’s house got broken into robbed and vandalized a few times, because apparently the kids ripped off other kids, then one kid got shot in the face, survived but lost an eye over a drug deal gone bad. They both got arrested several more times, fathered kids as teens, didn’t work, didn’t graduate high school, didn’t support or see their kids, just unproductive citizens. Their father also became a drug addict around 2011 and died of a heart attack in 2015. His sister said, although she loved her brother and loves her two nephews, she said I dodged a bullet
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Um honestly yes. You cannot be a family if you cannot or will not care for his kid. It’s creates feelings of being unwanted/unliked in the child as well as tension between the two of you. My advice is discuss the behaviors with your boyfriend and see if you can come to a resolution that works for both of you and all the kids. If not, it may not be a good family fit. It’s like trying to shove a square leg in a round hole.
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Yes and no. I would just sit down and talk to kids about there behavior and explain somehow if they act like that with mom that’s not ok and I mean play a roll In solving the problem not make it worse. And if it doesn’t change then 
lol
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Your boyfriend should find another girlfriend 
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Do you guys live together? Cause if not then I dont see what the problem is. You shouldn’t be forced to take on someone else’s responsibility if you dont want to.
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His child is part of him. You should love his children just as much if not more than you love him. I’d leave you if I ever found out you said something like that.
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Not your kid, not your problem
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That was the longest way anyone has ever said gtfoh in my life. Noooo way!!!
If they had them? And they aren’t your biological children… especially early in a relationship. Then they should watch their own kids or find family/friends. Shhitt sounds like free babysitting.
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Yep. You accepted this man. He was a package deal. He came with a kid. As long as everyone knows his child will receive the same discipline as your child, all should be fine
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I mean sure this would suck, but if you’re dating, isn’t the ultimate goal to all live together eventually anyway. What happens when that day comes around. I would make this an opportunity to do a trial run on discipline. Take a few weeks and try to get the kid on the right track. If you don’t see improvement, tell the dad it’s not working out. But honestly if it’s not working out with the kid I wish you all the luck in the world with the dad, cause that’s a package deal.
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If you want a long term relationship with him, yes you would be, maybe not wrong, but stupid to not be accepting of his child in any way!
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If he didnt think to ask you if it was ok or not than no you are not wrong. Disgusts me how ppl will just assume something is ok without asking first. Just bc you are together doesn’t automatically mean your gonna do something. Not to mention does your bf know how his child acts
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Yes! Your boyfriend is working so you can stay home with your children? If so, I say you should watch his as well. This might be a good time for the kids to bond and for you to bond with his child as well. You should let the boyfriend know ahead of time that you will discipline them child as if it was yours. It’s only fair and he needs to be ok with it.
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You aren’t obligated to watch his kid.
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You should not be with him if you don’t enjoy being around his child. It’s unfair for both of them as well as you and yours. Let them find someone who will love them both. Good luck x
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I don’t see how your obligated too. Your not married,they aren’t your step children.
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I would sit my bf down and have a long talk about how his child acts, and being concerned about having to discipline said child, when he/she acts up and your kids do not act that way. Tell him you are will to give it a 2 week trial period, but he has to sit said child down and have a nice long talk with him/her about what is expected of he/she while being in the house and under your care, if the child gets out of hand then he will need to make other arrangements. When the child is acting out, be sure to video it and send it to him at work.
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No your not obligated to do so sounds like he just assumed
If he was your husband you would be responsible, but bf that would his responsible for , but he may not be your bf after that.
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You didn’t say if y’all live together or not but you said you are staying home with your kids. If y’all live together, then yes, you should watch his child. If you’re not that serious about him, then don’t watch his child. But if you are serious about him then you should watch his child.
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Nope not wrong at all. Being his boyfriend does not make you his babysitter (or maid or any other roles society guilts women into). It’s his & his ex’s job as parents to find child care for their child. Don’t let him use you.
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Nope , not at all, keep your sanity!
We need more info. Are you living together? Does he pay the bills? Is this like every other week or does he have full custody ? From the Info you provided you are staying at home and not working this summer to be with your kids. So if we assume you live together and he pays the bills then yes you should. He came into the relationship with a child as did you. If he was off for the summer and you were working would you not have asked him Instead of paying for a sitter ?
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The kid probably senses you hate them so they act out whenever they’re around you.
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So he’s supposed to pay your bills while you stay home with your kids but you are too lazy to help with his? What a witch you are. Gross.
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Um. Your supposed to love his baby as your own. Definitely not full time care. But why would you just flat out say no? Love that baby better than he’s being loved already. If he’s not listening it’s cause he needs someone to show him better.
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Nope. He needs to hire a sitter.
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If you date someone w kids, you take on their kids too. If you can’t handle this child, don’t string your bf along.
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Too many unknown variables
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Be careful. He may be using you to watch his child. Stand up for yourself and tell him you do not want to watch his child for the reason you mentioned or that the ones you watch are enough for your quality attention. It would be different if you were in a committed relationship such as marriage or sharing the same household.
If your little families are not going to blend at all and you’re not willing to give it a chance to, then end things. 
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If you live together then yea thats messed up.
If you don’t live together then no your not obligated to watch them. But maybe if they spent some more time with you, you could teach them & help them?
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I would say your wrong, if this fella means something to you, then you have to accept this child as your own, bring a step parent can sometimes be hard, but the child needs to learn to trust you and bond with you, sometimes baby mama’s have thy adverse effect on the child, that’s not your mama, ect, ect… I would at least try, this isn’t something that will correct itself overnight and it may need some time. If the situation is completely out of control then dad has to get involved and talk with the child, if he doesn’t believe you maybe some videos of the child’s action can help your concern’s. If and when all effort’s to have the child fit are exhausted
If you both aren’t in it for the long haul then absolutely, say no. But if you intend to have a future together, then you will have to find a way that works for everyone.
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Don’t date people with kids if your not ready to accept their children.
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Why date him then? You’re wasting both of y’all’s time. How about you watch them and help figure out why they’re acting out? Help them.
These posts 
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Omgosh I am just gonna throw this out there, if you are going into a relationship and you’re just dating you all need to be changing your mindset. Yes treating kids as your own is one thing, but when it comes to obligating you’re bf/ GF to baby sit. You’re just dating. We see everyday parents leaving their kids w the boyfriend or the girlfriend and them being abused and or end up dead. And every one is all well don’t leave your kids with them. Yet you’re all giving advice to just watch the baby, your obligated cause your dating. No she isn’t. That’s not her kid. They aren’t married, we don’t know her relationship with child, how long they’ve been dating or anything. She already said child has behavioral problems and you want her to go out of her comfort zone to watch said child 
I’m gonna say no.
Stop obligating the people you date to watch your kids.
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Nope his child has a mom that’s not your responsibility
Too much unknown here. But you knew your boyfriend had a child when you began the relationship. That child should not be treated differently than your children. If you want help with his; don’t expect his help with yours.
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Why are you with him if your not willing to put in the effort with his kid?
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If you want to have a relationship you need to get to know this child. If you don’t want to get yo know the child it’s time to leave this relationship alone. Yhe father and son are both part of the package.
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Please join Nacho Kids: The Blended Family Lifesaver . You do not have to watch his child. This group will eat u alive for that tho.
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If you haven’t been together long, then his kids are not your responsibility and he shouldn’t just expect that of you. He should probably wait until it’s serious before letting his kids get attached anyway. However, if the relationship is getting serious and you won’t even watch his kids, there will probably be a lot of problems in the future. It really just depends on how long you’ve been together, and whether or not you see him and his kids in your future.
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You allowed to say no but if you are going to have a future this scenario will come up repeatedly. You need to solve this dynamic or your future is doomed.
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