Tell her together with your husband, let him do most of the talking -after all, it is his sister.
At the end of the day you have to do what’s best for your family.
1 Like
Hunny if she wants to make u out the bad guy she is gonna find a way regardless. Let her know and give her 2 weeks atleast to find a new sitter. After that time is up then it’s no longer your issue. She will get thru this as will you. Just don’t quit on her without some sort of notice.
Tell her no… give an advance notice, and I know you don’t want bad blood but you have put a lot on your plate.
She needs to seek other options. And it’s not right that she said she would pay you and hasn’t! Like wtf… you told her you would help… not be a door mat!
Tell her she has a week or two to find alternative care. You aren’t able to help anymore. That’s insane!
1 Like
Ive also done this before, I had to think about the well being of me and my kids, I told (mate) I could no longer do it, really weirdly she found childcare real soon after but she does have to pay way more than I asked for in first place,
He should talk to her, if you have a high risk pregnancy he shouldn’t leave it on you
It’s his sister and she should understand, if she wants her kids cared for she should be talking to you if she is having problems not guilt tripping you…
I feel like your husband should be the one to tell her, it’s his sister, like yes you are the one who said that you would do it but girl, now is the time to pull the “I’m pregnant” card lol I can’t handle the stress of telling your sister no what if she turns it into a huge thing, tell him something like that, it’s not like its a lie, and that way hopefully the bad blood will stay between them, especially if your husband can take one for the team and say that he’s the one that dsnt want you to watch them anymore because he’s worried about your high risk pregnancy or something
1 Like
You are being used and you are letting her do it to you. Been there done that. She isn’t showing you any respect and when she doesn’t need you anymore you won’t hear from her. Pls stand up for yourself and your children and tell her to take her children elsewhere. You are too kind and she knows that. Take care. Kim
I think it’s now obvious why her original arrangement fell through. If you can look after them on the basis that she contributes food or pays you, then I’d have a straight up conversation with her. If you are over the situation then also tell her she has a week to find an alternative.
She is taking advantage of your generosity and that isn’t fair.
No bad blood but hers here, she’s taking advantage , it’s up to her to work out her arrangements and you seem to have given her ample time so now it’s up to her to sort her own situation out . Makes me mad when people are opportunistic and take advantage .
Can you apply for food stamp and WIC. That will help with your family. Your sil needs to search for alternative care.
Sit her down and tell her you need her to find another sitter, give her a time frame and ask her to understand it’s not because you dont want to have them but with another baby on the way plus your 3 and hers you are struggling to cope with them all. Tell her you are willing to help her find someone else (if you are happy to do that) but it is important that she understands you love and care about her and the kids but you are now struggling to cope with it all.
I was in the exact same position and had to tell my sister. She was upset but understanding and I helped her find a new childminder who was a friend of mine and it all worked out for the best for everyone xx
You told her you were not doing this long term. Give her two week notice… she can always apply for child care assistance. You have to put your family first and hubby is supporting you.
How can you help her if you’re not healthy enough to help you? It’s not selfish it’s unable to give what you do to me have at this time
High risk pregnancy? That’s the answer to all your questions! You should put yourself in first place! not only your health but also your kiddos and husband. Hope you find a solution. Congrats for the coming baby. Regards.
I would tell her no. There are other childcare options and she needs to find them. She is abusing your kindness.
Why would you even ask? You are allowing yourself to be taken advantage if and your childres’s food is being eaten by her children. Grow up, stand up for yourself and your children. Don’t even discuss her opinion or explanation. She knows she is taking advantage of you and doesn’t care
Give her one week. Remind her that you said you would do it as long as you were able, but your no longer able. You owe her no further explanation. Tell her that you have enjoyed having your nieces/nephews and are happy the cousins all had time together.
You have to do what’s best for you and your family. Give her enough notice to try and find something else.
Tell her your doc said no more…bc honestly, they will probably be telling you that soon, anyways…I’m surprised they haven’t already…the health of your unborn baby and yourself are much more important rehab her issues…she will figure it out…give her a reasonable amount of time, say 2 weeks and be done and be firm…she shouldn’t expect you to put you and your babies health at risk, if she does, then she is selfish and toxic and you don’t need that in your life…my 2 cents 
You do what’s best for you and your family. You will not be the bad guy at all. Give her a week notice and let it be done. She’ll be ok!
1 Like
Time to end this free ride, they should have child care they your state that can help her . Maybe mom or mom in law can jerk ! Tell sorry that you are putting your new baby at risk as well as yourself ! Give her a week’s notice and they say good bye 
You definitelywould not be in the wrong. She’s taking advantage of you and your family.
She’s literally taking money from your kids and food from their mouths. You’re only responsibility is to your children, not hers. She can pay for regular daycare.
I would just tell her you cannot babysit any longer your pregnant and high risk you do not owe her any explanation you caring for your baby comes first she knows that and she also knows she needed to bring food for kids so sounds like she is taking advantage of she will just have to except or not
Well first of all she should be paying you.my sister in law and causin watvhes my baby and I would’ve never left her there without paying them. I can’t even think about 2 kids, some people know how to take advantage juat because your family. You already have your hands full and obviously can’t once you have your baby. She knew that so I would literally be like im done watching your kids for free after this week sorry but you have to figure it out on your own. If she gets mad she gets mad oh well
Yeah no.
I’ve been in your exact position. I’m due in August and it was with my sood to be DIL.
Family takes advantage of kindness. But it stopped being family when you became the babysitter.
Stand your ground.
You have to put you, your health, and your kids first.
No matter how much you love her and her kids, you have to do it.
First You’re Amazing! 2nd your SIL needs to quit using you and find a sitter for her kids. If she looses her job because she doesn’t have a sitter isn’t your fault. Sometimes people need to learn what it’s like to be an Adult.
You need to look after your children and yourself. If she has a problem with that then it is her problem.Don’t carry that load! What happens after is not your problem.She had it all along!
You have enough on your hands right now listen to your husband and tell her you cant do it any more way to much especialy with a baby on the way let her find some one else and dont feel guilty about it and dont sorry for her you have to take care of your self
I’m sorry but your husband and you should sit down and have a straight forward talk letting her know you are DONE watching the kids! You have 4 kids of your own and YOURSELF to take care of. 
How can people be so shameless. I understand her situation but I know yours! You are over doing it, risking yourself and you your baby and she isn’t even grateful.
1 Like
First of all , you pregnant and pregnant women need a pass . Tell her you can’t watch the kids by end of this month. I think that will be reasonable time enough for her to find a replacement . Use the pregnancy as an excuse since you really don’t want any misunderstandings between you both
I had to do this to my sister. I was relied on to baby sit 3 kids plus my 3 all the time, my sister told me I was in the wrong and no longer speaks to me, Sorry but il take care of my own family first
Put your husband in the hot seat. He should say that he is really worried about you and your high risk pregnancy and he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings but he wants to take care of you. Act like it’s his decision! You should not be watching three children and feeding them every meal and receiving zero money. That’s ridiculous.
4 Likes
If you have to tell her thr doctor has saidnyou cant do it any longer due yo a high risk pregnancy. Give her a 1-2 week notice.
She shouldn’t put all that stress on you. Your family is your priority. She sounds like she’s taking advantage. You did over and beyond. It’s great to help people but your health and family come first. Be strong and learn to say no without explanation or they will work a way around your explanation.
You have your hands full already with your boys , she can go look for someone else . Not your fault if she loses her job 
you’ve got your own priorities to put 1st
Be done…it’s hard but she is taking advantage… seriously not worth your health… and you 
Stop being a mug and let her sort her life out, shes not even paying you like she said she would ! They are her children and maybe the last sitter want injured maybe she didn’t pay her and she wised up !
Put you and your babies first and tell your husband to grow a pair and tell HIS sister to watch her own damn kids xx
Sounds like it is expected , you don’t even have to have a reason to say no , she puts it back on you saying you will put her in a position to loose her job thaaaats not on and for that reason alone she ms on her jack jones with that one SELFISH FISH to say the least.
She is being very unreasonable putting. All that on you. Especially as you have your own and are pregnant. Say my husband wants me to take it easy now lm pregnant. Besides l cant afford to feed every body.
Give her a hard date of 1-2 weeks to find someone else and then don’t let her drop them off. You have to take care of your kids and yourself.
If she had kept up sending food and money you might have been willing to work with her, but she isn’t and that’s not fair on you or your family budget.
No you are not being a bad guy at all. You have real health concerns for you and your baby. If anything she’s being really unfair to you. Don’t feel bad.
First of all yes it is ok to tell her you cant do it . If you dont want to be the bad guy . Tell her your dr doesn’t want you to. You have ever right in the world to say you cant do it .
Her problems are not your problems. She is frustrated and I get that as I was a single mom for many years but 2 months is a long time you did not say indefinitely. You beed to be honest with her about your position as well. Unless your honest there will be resentment and she will push you into misery
My own 3 kids are enough and uve got one on the way sack that love it would be differant if it was the odd night and she did same for u ur husband should be telling her to piss off if he hasn’t got the balls stand u for ur self xxx
Why would it matter if you’re the bad guy. And you’re not the bad guy she’s an ass for being the bad guy herself.The right thing to do is stop it the wrong thing to do is continue it so do the right thing. Your sister is responsible for her own life and her own decisions and her own emotions. Not you. Stop enabling her and let her figure her own life out she needs the consequences to grow. If you in danger your own family to enable someone else you’re part of the problem.
First of all u already got ur own kids an one in the way an high risk is no joke. So u need to let ur husband talk to her an tell her ur already stressed an cant afford to feed urs an hers. Thats not rite
If I were in your position I would let my husband handle it. It is just too much for you. She needs to get her business in order. Give her two weeks notice.
Your responsibility is to yourself, your unborn child and your children. Putting yourself at risk physically mentally or emotionally is not fair to your own immediate family and may put stress on your marriage as well. You do what is best for you!
Is there a daycare assistance program in your state? If so, have her apply for it and they can help out paying for her kids daycare while she works.
You have a high risk pregnancy. Tell her your doctor said to lessen your workload or he’s putting you on bed rest. Therefore, you can’t watch her kids after one or two weeks–you decide which. If you don’t slow down and get rid of the added physical, emotional, and mental stress, bed rest is exactly what will happen. If you doctor knew what is going on, this is what he would say.
I would leave her be if I were you, if she doesn’t be understanding even after you told her your concerns. Family or not, a toxic person is a toxic person.
You and your unborn baby come first, if your sister has a job and was paying a babysitter then she can do it again, you are being used so just tell her you can’t do it anymore because of your health, she is the one being selfish.
You and your baby is first priority. She needs to understand. If she gets mad then she will get over it. Tell her.
You or your baby could die. Thats literally what high risk means. You need to be selfish in this one instance.
1 Like
Sounds like she is taking the piss. That is not fair on so many levels to you, your husband (her brother) and your kids. You are not a bad person, you’ve helped, now you cant
Tell your SIL, to use daycare for her children! And also ask your husband to back you up by stressing to his sister about your situation.
She isn’t considering your feelings, so don’t worry about hers! She’ll be fine! Do what’s best for you.
Sometimes you have to do whats best for you not them your hubby needs to speak up also .
You are definitely being taken advantage of. It’s one thing to need some help, she is the one who should feel bad, not you. She has had enough time to try to find another baby sitter, I’d probably give her one more week Tops and that’s only if she pays you something and if she brings food for her kids. And…only if you are able to, if you are not…I’d tell her sorry your done now period. You would not be the bad guy…and even if she reacts like you are? You are not. Trust me. You are the good guy…being very much taken advantage of.
Maybe tell her that you’ll be taking two months of free child care with food once your baby comes now it’s your turn and I bet she says nah, no thanks!
Time to act like an adult, I know it’s hard being almost 23… but you really should be having this conversation with your sister and brother, not asking Facebook how to be an adult…
hopefully your kids have more common sense as they become almost 23
You and the babies health is first and foremost…if she can’t see that there is obviously a problem…she can can it up with her brother…
Your husband obviously agrees with you. If she cared about your well being she wouldn’t get mad at you.
1 Like
I would give her until end of the month to find someone else. No one will babysit for that amount. You have a good heart and anyone can see that just by reading your post and im the same but our good hearts sometimes gets taken advantage of and then we feel bad to say no. BUT you have your own family that you need to take care of and like me you should just tell her sorry but you cant anymore. Giving her time til month end is more than enough to get someone else and then she will see what childcare really costs.
Give her 3 weeks to find someone else and tell her it is too stressful and you have to put your baby 1st. If that causes trouble they do not care about you and your baby.
I assume she was paying her previous child carer. Why is she not paying you? Why is this costing you money? Yes help out occasionally at no cost but this should be paid.
You wouldn’t be a bad guy but a good mother. Tell her no more give her a week and say sorry.
Heck no. Shes taking advantage of you and when you tell her to stop thats on her to manage her emotions about it appropriately.
She is. It being. A good sister in law to u by abusing yr good nature this way. Time u grew a set and sit down and talk to her about what u can and can no longer do. Be calm and reasonable. Give her a timeline so she can arrange different care.
Tell her to pay a sitter and move on. Your immediate family comes first. She is rude and taking advantage.
Your husband should be the one to tell her to stop taking advantage of you. He should step up - it is his sister. If I were you, I’d be angry with both of them, her for doing it and him for allowing her to do it.
Well is your Husband Blind? Or just leaving to you? Simple. Sorry but I can’t help you anymore. I have my own health & kids to care for. Boundaries.
Tell her you CANNOT watch her kids anymore. You are not the bad guy. She is not paying you nor providing food for her kids.
That’s the similar situation I was in my half sister and the best thing I ever did was tell her I couldn’t do it anymore.
Yes it ruffled a few feathers and her and I are not on great talking terms.
But it was the best thing I ever did.
If she is his sister, then he needs to step up and tell her no more, she needs to find someone else!
Give her 2 weeks notice and feel no guilt. You’ve gone above and beyond and now it’s time for you to focus on YOUR family!
Just be honest,give her the last day you can watch them and be there for your own kids. Done.
He needs to open his mouth and SPEAK to her to This is his sister using you and putting HIS UNBORN child at risk Sorry but its his responsibility to stand up for you too
1 Like
Is the sister in law your husband’s sister or the partner to a sibling of yours? If the husband’s then he should be telling her.
Either way she needs to get herself together and stop using you for a free ride
I would tell her you could help her say another two weeks to give her a chance to get someone else but then that’s it. It’s nice that you want to help but you shouldn’t put yourself out.
Explain the situation she should understand she family. Then I would give her a week or two to get someone, but make sure you let her know you have to have food for the kids. Not an option your doing her a favor. Once again she should understand.
You’re being honest n yes I’d tell her please look for child care ASAP ;") you take care of you n your family first Hunny that’s most important.
It sounds like she isn’t holding up her end of the bargain.
Definitely not… It’s putting your health at risk…
If your husband said to tell her you can’t than tell her you can’t. She’s being inconsiderate and arrogant, there are other options she can take youre the last person that should be having to pickup after her especially being pregnant.
I would just politely tell her a date that will be the end of watching them. U have to take care of u n ur baby as well. She will get butthurt cuz she can’t use u anymore but not ur problem!
I would give her like a 2week notice and just tell her after that she will have to have something else figured out or quiet her job and KEEP them herself
FEELING ever so torn, small, shamed, hurt, used, abused…
When will we ever ll
She won’t find another option until you tell her you can’t watvh her children any more. They are her responsibility.
She is taking advantage of you! The guilt trips. Expecting you to pay for everything and not getting paid back. Rip off the bandaid! Tell her no🙈
I think that right now your health and the health of your unborn child is more important unfortunately but that’s just my opinion 
Have your Husband do it, you don’t need the stress if she gives any attitude.
You have to look out for you and your family first. Don’t feel bad for doing that
If this is your husband’s sister he needs to be the one to tell her that the agreement had reached it’s end. Not you.
You aren’t the bad guy. Whatever her intention, she’s taking advantage of you and you have to take care of you and your kids first
Tell her your no longer able to take care of them. If you want you can give her “X” amount of time to find a new sitter, but after that your done.
Tell her you cannot do it and explain your situation. If she gets mad so be it you need to look out for you and yours.
If she off that bad then she needs to get daycare vouchers sorry but not sorry mine comes befor anybody else’s
So you’ve helped as long as you could. Give her a set time to find someone else. You can’t risk your pregnancy!