My best friend is my power of attorney and executor of my will, and beneficiary on all my life insurance polices.
My mother ripped up my fathers dnr and had him intubated and placed on life support.
Needless to say, I do not trust her to make any decisions.
She was not happy at first, however, she has come around to it, and is ok with not having to make the decision to give up, if it comes down to it.
I am a heart failure patient with 2 children. We’ve had to have this talk as it is a real possibility that I could pass. I am happily divorced. My long time boyfriend also is aware and supports my best friend (of 20yrs) to make the decisions
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It’s YOUR life and YOUR decision
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If you have a living will this will help with many of these issue.
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I’d give POA to you best friend if you know your parents would go against your wishes. That’s just wrong of them.
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Get an attorney to do what you want. Dont put your friend in that position, life and dead decisions are hard.
In addition to a POA, you need an advance directive spelling out exactly what you do and don’t want to ensure YOUR wishes are carried out. You can still give your friend POA, but make sure they also have a copy of your directive. That way, it isn’t your friend or your parents making the decisions, it’s just a matter of the physician carrying out your request.
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Yes a POA will definitely help, but I would get a living will to make sure all bases are completely covered!
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My best friend is my next of kin
Your life your choice. Whomever you choose must be someone you trust you honor your wishes
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I would get it all in order now and nothing wrong w choosing your friend to be poa. Its such an emotional time and a parent may try to keep their child here no matter what because thats their baby😭
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Give it to the people you can trust to carry out your wishes and make the hard decisions based on what you would want.
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Its your choice hun… you can choose which you want. I’m married but my sister is my poa. It’s your life and you should choose someone who you know will follow through with your wishes. Good luck.
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Actually it stops being their job/right or choice once you become an adult at 18. And if they do not wish to follow your choices and decisions and have voiced that then they lose any and all rights to be considered
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This isn’t uncommon actually. A lot of people don’t want to put high stress decisions on their parents or even their spouse so they trust a close non-family friend to do it.
You parents sound kind of hateful and I wouldn’t want anyone making those decisions who wouldn’t respect my wishes. Talk to the friend and if they agree give POA to them.
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Your legal healthcare power of attorney document gives you the right to live by your own terms, or die on your own terms. Make sure your friend has a copy, and YOU go to an attorney to have the paperwork done. Keep a copy on file at the hospital system you are affiliated with.
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Your choice. Pick who will honor your wishes, not who wants you to do it because it’s what they think they have the right.
You have to do what’s best for you It’s your life if you trust her you put her in charge are you put her in charge I put my best friend in charge of me and my husband but my best friend in charge of me and my husband she’s a nurse and she will she’s a nurse and she will honor what we won’t
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I would give my power of attorney to the ones that have your best interest at heart…I’d want someone who would do what I ask and not what your parents want…
It’s YOUR choice, I’d chose my friend as to how you explain it, your parents won’t take your wishes into consideration. They’re not happy? Oh well🤷🏻♀️
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Poa is only good for people that are alive. You have to do a living will with an attorney. For your hospital a burial decisions.
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I did a few years ago. My by was honest about being unable to follow my wishes. I am in process of changing it to him. I trust him to make them now. We had to watch my dad on a vent. My family is very aware of what I want. Make sure you cross all i and dot your ts. It has to be notarized preferably by a bank or lawyer so they can’t say it was a friend.
If they’ve right out said they would not honor your wishes, I would appoint someone who will.
These decisions about what happens to you in a serious situation are very important and need to be what YOU want. If you are unable to speak for yourself, you need to find someone who will speak for you and not against you to get what they want
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See an attorney. My father-in-law had a living will. The minute he was incapacitated, the doctors turned to his daughters for instructions. They did the opposite of what was written. They did what they thought was right. We found out that a living will just tells your wishes but has no legal authority after you are no longer able to make your own decisions. That’s why I don’t have one! They are useless. It should have power of law! Perhaps an attorney can advise you on how to make your wishes be carried out.
Advanced directive. File it with the hospital’s in your area amd give one to your friend who will honor your wishes
With that nobody can go against your wishes
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Your decision for you an what your wishes are to follow do what best for you
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So discuss it with your friend. If their fine with it go ahead and make those changes immediately. Have it so no matter what your parents wishes won’t be followed no matter what! They seem horribly controlling and toxic!
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Do what’s best for YOU and choose who would do what YOU want done in case of emergencies! Go with the best friend.
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Make a living will and put your wishes on paper. I know from experience the decision to take someone off life support is harsh and unbearable. This would prevent anyone from having to make this decision for you.
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You’re parents need some help understanding …their feelings dont count when they are literally telling you, yours dont either
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Yep I’d choose my husband over my parents. Because he could be objective. Not because I don’t love my parents
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It’s your choice, and having been there, get it done and notarized, and on file with the friend, Dr, etc.
If Dad was alive, he would have a fit if I told him something like this. It is my opinion, though that as adults, we should be able to make adult decisions without parental interference. I never had this on my mind, but I have had a lot of my so-called adult decisions interfered with and it’s very irritating. I once read a slogan that said, “When you finish raising your children, quit raising your children”. I don’t think Dad ever really quit raising me. I’m now Mom’s caregiver and I think she has learned a few things. Try to make your own decisions. You have had to live with a lot of their decisions and you were even born because of one of their decisions. It shouldn’t hurt them that much to accept a few of your adult decisions!
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As long as she can stay clinically detached, give it to her. I had to do the same thing with my father in law. I was able to because I was a nurse and new he would have absolutely no quality of life and we had talked about that before and how he didn’t want that. Because of this I asked my best friend, to do the same for me. Do what’s best for you. The last thing we want to do is be a shell or have our children remember us as a shell of a person.
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It’s your choice on who. If you don don’t think your parents would respect your wishes, definitely go for someone else you trust like your best friend.
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Why even tell them. It’s not necessary. Just Do It!
Input from an emergency room staff 
Everyone over the age of 18 should have a medical power of attorney/ advanced directive notarized and filed with the hospitals within range of you. Emergencies are never planned so it is CRITICAL that you have what you would want to happen in the event that you are unable to self advocate, IN WRITING. As far as making your friend your POA- clearly you cannot trust your parents to make the decisions you would expect to be made. Having your friend as the one with the final say is fine- as long as they keep a copy of the documents and you are 100% sure that you can trust them with being your advocate.
Just for the sake of saying it because I have to remind patients as well, make sure it is NOTARIZED and of course wait to sign until your are in front of the notary. 
My mom was her bestfriend’s power of attorney. She was divorced with two adult children & when she was on life support my mom had to make the decision to take her off. It was A LOT & gut wrenching but to my knowledge her children were ok with the decision made. Best of luck 
Right so get you and you’re right. My mother is the same way. She will make all the decisions I tell her not to make and I cant blame her because she’s a mom. She will decide emotionally and not logically. My husband though respects me and my decisions and so I know I can totally count on him to follow through all my decisions despite not agreeing with some. So do what’s best for you. Your parents will sulk but they’ll get over it
just die after them problem solved
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Do what’s right for you your parents should never go against your wishes
I would give power of attorney to someone you can trust and someone who is going to respect your wishes.
I believe you have the right to decide what you want when the time comes and anyone named as your POA should absolutely honor your wishes even if they don’t agree. If you do a health care directive those wishes have to be honored just make sure you do a medical and mental POA in case you can’t make your own decisions and make sure your local hospital, doctor and POA has a copy of it. I think having someone you trust to honor your wishes is better than a family member anyway. Family members have the tendency to do what’s best for them in not losing you than making decisions based on your wishes. Life is all about quality and less about quantity. I’d hate to think my family would keep me alive with no quality of life for years just to satisfy their need to keep me alive. That decision is up to a higher source.
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Just so you know it would be medical power of attorney. Unless you have a will that specifically outlines your wishes POA ends at death so they(your parents) would still have the right to do what they want because they are you’re next of kin.
Just be careful. I was power of attorney for my daughter & my son in law was my sister’s power of attorney in Texas & when someone dies the power of attorney is no longer good notarized or not goes to next of kin. There is something extra you have to add to POA for that not to happen. Just a little FYI from my experience.
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I would give power of attorney ONLY to a family person I totally trust. When you pass you are setting up a major battle by using an outside family member. A lawyer prepared will can handle your issues
Make yourself a living will now . Make 3 copies .
Once a person already is dead no one has P.O.A. over a dead body so that means your parents can still do whatever they want with you…
Just been though all this …
So I made a living will… Now everyone has to do as I feel fit for myself
Nope sign her up.I sure would❤
Personally if your best friend would honor your wishes and your parents wouldn’t, I would make your best friend your power of attorney. Especially if your parents would let you live without a quality of life
My best friend of 11 years aint shit to me now. No way would i put my life in the hands of a friend.
Definitely get whoever will honor your wishes but you need a lawyer to draw up a legal POA but also a living will which should cover most of the decisions your POA would have to make so they would have all of that info. Side note, pretty sure if you have a living will the hospital has to honor that over anything a POA says.
Abuse of power and violates your human rights and choices … Make sure you have a lawyer and a iron clad will
Your wishes are yours. I feel the same way
Your life, your decision.
I worked in a hospital and we asked each and every person if they had a living will and would they like one to fill out if they didn’t. They are legally binding when/if you can not make decisions on your own behalf. Your area hospital or senior centers may have the form/booklet.
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I made my Friend and Doctor my Power of Attorney for Medical Reasons. Both are well aware of my wishes and have agreed to carry them out. God Bless them both.
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When you give someone power of attorney that does not take away your power to make your own decisions. It only means they can make them for you IF you are unable or if and when want to let them. Also you can (and should) specify exactly what type, kind and limits the power entails.
I see absolutely zero issue with this.
We are allowed to have our wishes followed out as we desire. The fact is, parents are parents and many cannot make the calls their children may want.
I have power of attorney and medical proxy to one of my aunts and it’s because I work in the medical field and she knows I will do what is necessary based in logic and will understand what is happening.
Write a living will, my father has one and my sister and I would never in a million years go against it.
Power of Attorney helps the financial aspect of things if you were not able to care for your finances, but not decision making when it comes to health care. To make your best friend your decision maker if you are no longer able to you need to make her your Health Care Proxy, not POA. you are not in the wrong at all, I don’t have my parents as my secondary for the same reason.
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When I was in medical assistant school, we talked about situations exactly like this. My instructor said that if possible, have someone who is not family be your power of attorney because family will do exactly what your parents want to do, make decisions without any regards to what YOU want. Personally I would choose your friend. Especially because your parents made it clear that they already won’t honor your wishes. I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of this but you need to do what’s best for you and give yourself peace of mind.
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You go where your instinct and trust lye.
, I had POA for my late husband and it was essential as his health deteriorated. Think of the future and imagine who would have your best interests at heart.
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Dual POA with your friend and a lawyer perhaps. Certainly not your parents ,they are too close and have expressed their wishes. It could be very hard to expect a parent to help end a life that they produced. Get legal advise for all the possible nuances to the situation. Good luck.
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Get a living will drawn up by an attorney. Be specific about your wishes including that no family member gets to make those decisions. You will need multiple copies for your doctors, your local hospital(s), your friend, and to keep in your car and your purse. There is always the possibility that, before medical providers see the document, extraordinary measures may be taken to save your life, but when the legal document is found/presented, then your wishes should be honored as stated in the living will. Hope this helps.
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If you have no family it is good, but power of attorney is only good while you are alive and unable to take care of things yourself
If they’ve already made it clear to you they are not going to honor your wishes then they will absolutely have to respect the fact that you can’t give them the power of attorney. The whole idea is to choose someone who will honor your wishes. It doesn’t change how much you love them and how much they love you it’s simply is having your wish is granted. It’s a tough decision but I think you already know what you wanna do
It is vital in the event that you cannot make medical decisions, that you have someone you can trust to make those decisions for you. If your parents have already said they’ll go against your wishes, they are out of the running. Don’t even think twice, they were the ones who took themselves out of it. You’d also benefit well from a living will. This is a set of precise instructions that are written by you and communicated to doctors, should you become incapacitated. It also tells your PoA exactly what you want. Telling them verbally, even multiple times, does help. But in a panic situation, they might forget. A living will is signed by you, the PoA and at least one neutral party witness.
Give power of attorney to you’re sister then. I don’t think giving it to a friend is the right choice.
Power of attorney really means nothing especially in these type cases. Living wills can be contested by close family. Terry schiavo literally went many years on a machine before she died. It may be your life but if if you are incapable of expressing your wishes doctors will inevitably defer to family wishes in life/death cases. You will find most hospitals very wary of going against them and “pulling the plug” for fear of a huge lawsuit. It’s better to get your parents to agree with your wishes and also have the legal machinery in place to see it is carried out.
Personally if my child asked me if I would respect her wishes after death I most definitely would,you don’t own your child.
As a parent of several adult children, I understand your parent’s feelings. However, you also are an adult and entitled to make your own decisions even when it is in contrast to their wishes. That being said, I agree with you but caution you to consider all your options. Getting a DNR through your healthcare provider is the route I suggest. These orders are very specific in regards to what may and may not be done to keep you alive.
Make a Living Will as well - medical staff will honor that. It’s your FINAL way to make your medical/life decisions carried out - your last chance to do so.
Flat out. If they arent willing to respect your final wishes then definitely go with your friend. And shame on your parents for putting you in this situation.
Get a legal and binding living will. It’s honestly horrible to have to be in a position to have to make decisions like that for another person. I know from personal experience. It has taken me years to recover mentally
Contact an attorney and have him make your friend legal guardian of your children. They can help you make an advance Healthcare directive…which will define exactly what you want and for who to make any decisions…make sure it’s notarized. Keep original safe and give copy to your friend hospital dr office etc…smart decision and I’m sorry your parents won’t respect your decisions…good luck praying you live a long happy healthy life
If you have a living will or advance directive and medical power of attorney type documents stating your wishes those would be followed it would not be up to your parents. Just make sure you have everything prepared then they would have to legal contest at that point. I’m sorry you are dealing with this, that’s very selfish of your parents.
I can see both sides. As a nurse, a parent, and a grandmother it is immensely difficult for loving parents to do anything but life saving decisions. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard for anyone. It would be a big responsibility for your friend, knowing your parents are not happy with it and could try to undermine your friend. The documents you should consider are Durable Power of Attorney DPOA, a Living Will, and a Will. By considering different scenarios and making decisions labout your wishes in advance will help your designee to make decisions for you. If you die, she will no longer have authority for instance regarding funeral/ burial unless in your state laws are different. Contact a lawyer.
Not at all I have a friend that’s a power of attorney over mine unless my only child is of age and then he has it
Power of attorney is about financial. You need a health care directive and appoint someone
Your parents love you and would never want to give up on you. It would break their hearts to lose their child. That is why the decision should not be theirs and why you need to make a living will. So what ever your choices are for yourself will have to be followed. It is a legal binding document.
Sometimes parents don’t have a clear head and her heart gets in the way having your closest friend maybe her best answer to get what you truly want this is a very hard decision for everybody but nobody has to know what you decide keep this decision to yourself put it in your will and nobody has to fight about it once you’re gone it is what you wanted and only what you wanted God loves you no matter what best of luck try to look at it from all angles
No it would not be wrong. Drafting POAHC paper work is one my tasks that I do with my job and I advise all of my clients you don’t have to make anyone else happy or pick a family member as long as you know they will follow your wishes you can put them down
My daughter did this, its her best friend and I trust her. It’s my daughters life so it should be her choice. I never even asked why because its her choice
Also, look for the healthcare power of attorney form online so you can designate your friend in this role.
It will come to a surprise since parents feel r responsible till u get married but remember u an adult now so the decision is totally yours wht to do and the best u can do elderly parents ? Just tell them thankful for being there for Mr if any wrong tell get an atty hate to say it but sometimes decisions have to be made attorney of per you can put both so parents won’t have tell 
I hope this helps you
You need to do what you want to make sure your wishes are carried out even if it makes your parents uneasy about it. If your friend will carry out your wishes then go with them. Your parents will get over it
Absolutely choose your friend. Draw up a power of attorney expressing your wishes and have a 2nd and even 3rd choice. Have it signed, witnessed and notarized. Give a copy to each of your friends you choose. My best friend died and she had a friend who lived closer to her than I. She assigned a trustee and none of the trustees would honor her wishes. So it had to go to probate. It’s was a mess. If you know your family is not going to follow your wishes and something happens with/to the friends, go to the Clerk of the Court and see if it can be filed in your county. Always carry a copy of your advanced directive with you in case you wind up in the hospital and can’t express yourself. Good luck; this is a difficult decision and be sure whomever you choose will stand by your wishes. My best wishes.
You need to make the choice of who decides for you when you can’t on your own make the decision, be someone you trust to follow your wishes. Another step is to put your wishes in writing as a Advanced Directive, Living Will and a Standard Will to determine not only who has authority over you but the things & any children you leave behind.
I believe you need to make the decision on who to nominate based on who you believe will do what you want. In this case, that’s your best friend. Go to an attorney and get it done. Make several copies. Give one to every doctor you have and to your local hospital/any specialty hospital you may need to go to. Give your best friend a copy and keep a copy as well. Once you’re an adult you’re on equal footing with your parents and they need to do what YOU want or they need to step aside and let someone else.
I would make a springing durable power of attorney for medical and financial decisions personally. If your parents end up controlling your finances, they may attempt to force your best friends hand via not paying the bills for your care. I personally have manipulative legal parents, so I have to look at all those angles to make sure they can’t manipulate anyone if they chose to decide to make an appearance at that point.
You need to fill out a an advance directive. That way you need no one to control. This form you give to your doctor. My doctor is where I got my form from
you need a will, an advance directive for health care and a power of attorney. get an attorney to help you while you are still healthy. your advance directive will cover what you really want health wise. you can prevail on this. too bad you even discussed it with your folks. your friend is the one you trust to do right by you, the things you want or don’t want, do the legal papers to have her/him for your medical person with decisions.
Choose the friend but make sure the courts won’t intervene on the behalf of your oarents.
You need a Living Will. The hospitals have to go by that if you don’t want to live on machines.
You should also have a living will in place so that your wishes are clear and followed through with.
You do what you feel best about. There are always stipulations you can put in writing to quell any worries about your friend but all in all its what ya up want and who you can trust to do what’s right for you when you need it the most…
First off, If I was you, I would make a will… In it Write anything and everything you want… Your wishes and choices you choose… What, where and why… What you want to happen with the children til age 18, personal effects, how you want things divided… Then What do you want if your in a life threating situation, write it all out, so there isn’t any questions for anyone… The reason I am suggesting this, is because My mother passed in December, without anything in writing… It is really hard to deal with all of the stuff I’ve had to deal with… As my brothers never helped with anything including visiting her in the Hospital… PLEASE write out a will…
My oldest daughter will make those decisions.
Have a Living Will so that your wishes will be followed. They are end-of-life decisions. I would also suggest that you get a healthcare proxy. This person would make the decision for your treatment.
Do not keep your LivingWill With you are will and not keep your healthcare proxy with your will even your living will. Give an original copy of your healthcare proxy to that person. Make sure they know where it is so that I could be presented when needed. As far as your parents go, knows that they only want to keep their baby alive. They’ll be hurt and they may even hate the person that made those decisions but understand their decisions would be based on emotions not reality. Maybe explain that to them and let them know that you just don’t want them to be guilty about the decision they would need to make when they know what your decision would be. I’m glad you’re doing this now. Many people don’t do it and when the time comes it’s difficult, emotional and Saddening. Good luck.
If you’re an adult is your choice. Make it legal.