I’m a full time nanny to 2.5 year old triplets. I love them with all my heart. It’s because I love them that I’m seeking some advice on what to do in a situation. Me and the other nanny start at 8am every shift. When we come upstairs to see the kids, we notice that they are in 12 hour old pee diapers and still in their pajamas. Their parents still give them milk in baby bottles and they give them their bottles immediately after getting them out of their cribs. I know if it was me in the kids’ situation, I would want to get changed out of those soggy diapers right away. They are so full that they are falling off the kids and the blue line that shows that the diaper is wet is practically gone. One of the kids has already had a yeast infection and all of them constantly have rashes on their bottoms and genitals. I’m curious as to what I should do to approach this? Is it okay for me as the nanny to tell the parents they should change their kids immediately when they wake up? Is that too disrespectful? My number one concern is the kids’ safety and I’m looking for advice on next steps if I should take them. Thank you for your time!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Would it be disrespectful of me as a nanny to tell the parents how to parent?
Absolutely that’s neglect
Id mention that sitting in the wet diapers overnight is not helping the ongoing yeast infections…they are neglecting them
Nope. You absolutely should say something to them or maybe suggest a different diaper brand that’s designed t keep the kids drier overnight
In the morning when I first see my daughter she isn’t that wet, but then if you check after she got that morning pee out she is soaked- could be what’s going on here. Honestly, you want to be careful not to overstep but I also think you aren’t in the wrong if you say “hey I just wanted to let you know when I’ve been arriving their diapers are completely soaked through and that could be leading to the yeast infection- I change them when I see them but I Just wanted to communicate with you” it might be a little akwats
That’s a hard one. Do they notice this? Do they talk about the problems? If they don’t even notice. Then maybe approach it with and ‘I am noticing’.
It’s not awful to ask them, “may I recommend something that could help hopefully prevent the rashes?”
I would discuss because of diaper rash and infections
Yikes, they’re probably exhausted. But albeit there 2 nannies though so…and that’s the first thing I do after my baby wakes, is change the diaper and play for a bit. And why is a 2.5 yo triplets or not getting a bottle for breakfast??
You absolutely should! But approach it delicately.
Lay out the diapers and wipes and everything they’ll need to use the next morning before you leave at night and casually say, I’ve left all their bits out for first thing I know it must be hard work getting them all done in the morning so I thought I’d help lighten the load by leaving the stuff out for you/them. Then carry on doing it. Maybe they’ll take the hint
Let the other nanny say it in case they get mad lol
Planting the seed tends to work saying oh boy the babies are constantly inching I feel bad for them urine is the worst contributor for these rashes there getting
The parents know that already they choose not to. You may be right but unfortunately are an employee
That’s neglect. First of all the babies should be potty trained.
Report it. You are considered a mandated reporter. If you don’t and someone else does, you can get in trouble too because you are allowing abuse.
My sister is a nanny and she parents her nanny child more than the actual parents. She deals with the same issues except her nanny child is 4
Seems like they’re just waiting for you to do it all and they’re doing the bare minimum. Be like change them asap to avoid the infections
My daughter goes to sleep at 8 and wakes up at 7am. I change her as soon as she wakes up in the morning to prevent leakage. After having 3 boys, I find a girl is much more prone to getting yeast infections so switch diapers more frequently than I did with my boys.
My guess is it’s probably their morning pee and if they know their Nanny’s are on the way and they’re paying you to change those diapers they probably leave the job for you. Are they good parents otherwise? The only thing you have mentioned is about the babies diapers when you arrive. If that’s your biggest concern, I’d change their diapers and do what you’re paid to do respectfully. All babies get nappy rash/yeast infections at some stage and it really doesn’t take much to cause one, notice irritation? Get those kids in the bath and use medicated powder or whatever you use to help them feel comfortable again. I think you’re over-reacting.
I would say something but if you have a boss i would let the boss know and go from there first!!! Then if nothing gets done then maybe call the authorities
It’s all in the delivery. Say it with kindness and compassion. I’ve noticed X is very wet when I arrive. You probably didn’t notice but maybe you could change X before giving the bottle. Baby will be more comfortable.
A bottle at 2.5 years old - absolutely not! Sounds like lazy parents.
At 2.5 yo the kids she have a routine. Maybe form it as a suggestion in the middle of a conversation. So it won’t seem like you’re overstepping your boundaries and save face your job. Ask the mom if she’d like to try some pull ups. This way we can all start potty training and when they get up in the morning they can use the bathroom first thing so they can get use to it and it’ll stop the rashes. Tell her a friend of yours said “such and such” brand was the best. Just blend that statement in with a causal conversation y’all are having about the kids. Tell her they’re getting older and you’d like to commit to more of a “routine”… I don’t think any mother would be mad if it wasn’t said in a judgmental or condescending tone. It’s not what you say it’s how you say it. No it’s not ok that you teach them how to parent but it is ok that you kindly suggest a different way to fix a situation.
Try to transition to your potty training. Parents are aware and waits for you to change at 8a. I wouldn’t personally do that, but the issue isn’t education here. They’re aware.
It’s not your job to parent the parent …just leave diapers out for them and like someone said they could wake up and the diapers not even wet
I’m sure it’s their nighttime diapers and I agree that delivery is all where it’s at maybe you could request that they get nighttime diapers so that they’re not so saggy in the morning and so against them and making them itch￼￼
It wouldn’t be mean to just mention it. But you literally don’t know if they were just changed & had that morning pee or not. Just mention it but be kind when you do.
I think it will be how you approach it… obviously if you approach it like I have thoughts on how to parent your child then you may not have a job, my son drinks a ton at night and was soaking through a particular brand of pull ups until we switched and that helped but we were in no way neglecting him or anything of the sort. So I would approach it rather delicately
Try having a discussion first, and it that do3sn’t work, report them to DCFS.
Teach the babies to take off diapers. Start potty training.
Do it but be prepared to lose your job.
I’m thinking because they have nannies coming in they dont actually do anything for their children. Personally id have to say something even if it was to suggest one of you starts a little earlier because you’ve noticed the children are awake , the nappies are soaked through and they are in pain with nappy rash.
They should already be potty trained. If they can walk they can use the potty
It’s hard to say anything without them thinking you’re over-stepping. You may want to lay out diapers and wipes the night before, hoping they’ll take the hint. If not, just take the babies in hand first thing and start changing little bottoms and cleaning them up. I’m not sure what’s going on with the parents, but it’s a shame that they won’t even change diapers, especially when they know about the yeast infections and rashes the babies get. Just do the best you can. Good for you for caring so much.
If you have the kids all day - you can start the potty training without even making a big deal out of it with the parents
I would discuss with them the full diapers and the rashes. Teach them the importance of a dry butt. I would also discuss with them the importance of bottle breaking and healthy ways to deal with getting better habits.
Lazy and with 2 nannies. Wow
Why are they still on bottles??? That would also be a big concern for me.
Cal CPS that’s neglect they’re only getting care when you guys are present
That is a sign of neglect !
Say something like, “Michael has diaper rash pretty bad, what do you like to use for it? I’ll try that! You know, my niece had that issue too! The only thing that helped her was to change baby right when she got up, otherwise it just got worse.” Make it seem relatable instead of judgemental. Thats what I would do.
yes, show them and let them know how painful the rash is when wet especially. Just say it in a calm informative voice. If they don’t take the hint they are allowing it to happen. You might need to go from there.
I’d definitely say something but I think how you deliver it will be pending their reaction. Good luck hun & good on you for loving those babies & not just there coz it’s your job
I would just say like “hey! I was reading that really wet diapers can cause a yeast Infection. I wonder if trying night time diapers would be better so it absorbs more? With my kids I had to had to change them at least once in the middle of the night cause it kept happening. Did you want to try that?
This way if they agree to tbe night diapers, cool, but if they don’t maybe they’ll change them once at night
See something say something
Be the voice for those babies.
They already know how not to parent,that’s why you’re there
Would it be possible for you to start potty training with them?
I know it’s possible they already are, but not yet at night.
I don’t think thats telling a parent how to parent. I think it’s pretty much common sense to change a child when they’re dirty.
Sound like the parents are pretty lazy. I would let them know some things need to be changed and if it doesn’t change, call CPS. There is absolutely no reason for those babies to be suffering because their parents are lazy.
May I suggest that instead of changing their diaper and using baby wipes that you wash their bums with soap and water in the morning to try and minimize the rash & infections.
I don’t even know how I’d react to that. Poor little babies.
Maybe just be straight up about it. Say something like “I noticed their diapers are really full, that seems uncomfortable. I’m not ok with this”
These parents may be on something. The mother may have postpartum. However, I’d say something to them.
Pure laziness I reckon😞
Honestly I see where you are coming from on the other hand I also have a different perspective. My daughter goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps in until 8-11 the next day. She is 18mo and I don’t go in there throughout the night to check her diaper. If she wakes up, I will. When she was an infant, I would but she didn’t start sleeping through the night until completely weaned off breastmilk at a year old. However if she doesn’t there isn’t a need to. Could that be what is going on? Do the parents just not want to go in and check their diapers throughout night so they don’t wake the little ones up? My other question is regarding the yeast infection and the constant rashes. What types of creams are being putting on their bottoms? With yeast infections, majority of yeast infections don’t actually go away on their own. I learned this when my daughter got a really bad yeast infection and I had been trying so many rash creams, powders, and even airing her diaper area out. Regular diaper creams and things like Aquaphor actually help yeast stay + continue to grow. Yeast likes moisture. Of course sitting in their wet diaper wouldn’t help the situation but if the pediatrician hasn’t prescribed an anti-yeast cream, the diaper rash cream that gets used (if any cream is being used) then that very well could be why yeast is still there. As far as regular rashes go, it could be creams everyone is using, the wipes starting to bother them, or it could even be the diapers that are bothering the triplets skin. Even the triplets food habits can also cause rashes. Now I do think that the parents should at least change their diapers when they wake up. Some days I can understand not doing it right away but doing it within a certain amount of time from when they wake up. As far as the milk in bottles go, maybe look up different cups for them.
I don’t think it would hurt if you were to research better diapers or even the overnight pull ups that help keep the triplets drier overnight. I would also look into researching about the best cups that can replace the baby bottles. Maybe checkout the 360 cups or something that won’t spill but still works for 2.5 year olds. I would also start researching and looking into potty training. If you are a full time nanny, I’m sure the parents would appreciate the research and thought put into things like that rather than just telling them how to parent. I only have one child and she keeps me on my toes. I can’t even begin to imagine having triplets and how overwhelming I’m sure it is. It makes me wonder if the triplets parents are overwhelmed, tired, and exhausted too - and that’s why there’s some slacking going on Maybe check on the parents and see if they are okay or if there’s anything you can do to help them! They sound really lucky to have you and their other nanny there to help with them & it sounds like you truly do care for these kiddos and the family
So I bought really nice baby powder and used coconut oil with it. Clears it up in HOURS. Also naked time or bath time during the day also helps. The bottle doesn’t affect their teeth no need to worry.
When it comes to the safety and well being of the child, you absolutely have every right to say something! Those babies don’t deserve that and they aren’t old enough to advocate for themselves!
The bottle situation is none of your business, but I would say something about the wet diapers if it’s causing yeast infections & rashes. The older they get the worse that’s going to get bc their pee will become more acidic.
Your the nanny. They pay you, so that’s your job . Noone is a perfect parent && I definitely don’t wake my child up to change diapers so that’s normal too
Ummmm, no. TELL THEM TO CHANGE THEM DIAPERS!!!
Yes, maybe they don’t know… Wow poor kiddos
Do the children sleep through the night? If so that’s probably why their nappies are so full?
Ask them if they would like you to start coming in earlier because you noticed the extremely wet diapers and you don’t want them having bad rashes.
Its easier to potty train kids who arent sitting in wet diapers… you could try something like that… I would start with this since its a hygiene and health issue… then work on the bottles
Teach them to take off their own diapers
Yes say something. That’s neglectful.
Normally I’d be like, no mind your own business you’ve raised your kids, buttt in this situation I’d definitely be telling them. It comes down to the well being of the children. When a child’s health is compromised I will always advise family or friends to interject.
Too many people worry about the parents feelings when they should be worried about the child/ren.
Maybe at first just tell them to change the babies as soon as they wake up and then they should be fed breakfast and THEN they have their bottles if that’s what they’re still having. If after that nothings changed be more assertive and tell them you’ll take them off them.
See no that’s why I can’t work with people like that. I’d have said something like “leaving your kids in soaking wet diapers like that is what’s causing their rashes,and infections,and is incredibly painful. You need to step up, and parent these kids right” also as a child care provider I’d have been called CPS nobody is neglecting or abusing kids while I can help it.
Maybe ask to start earlier so you’re there upon their waking to change them and change their bottles gradually to sippy cups. They have 2 Nannie’s to help them care for their children so I hardly feel they don’t care or are neglectful.
Let them know gently.
I’ve noticed the children’s nappies are quite wet when I arrive did you want me to adjust my shift to slightly earlier to help this?!
So the parents are getting up to give a bottle but not charge them. Sorry that’s plain laziness. I’d approach it with concern. Say I noticed the babies have developed a rash, making sure their diapers are changed first thing in the morning may help that, they would definitely be more comfortable. Hopefully that will click in they parents head. Poor kids.
I’m seeing some comments about reporting abuse. That’s a pretty big leap with the info given here. Soiled diaper first thing in the morning makes sense. Sitting in the extremely wet diapers doesn’t. It does sound like they are waiting for you to start your work to change them & get them dressed for the day possibly? They are getting a little old for a bottle over food. Maybe discuss how you can help them get the “babies” off of the bottle. Lazy parenting maybe, abuse no.
I would mention the ongoing yeast & diaper rash & let them know you are being extra cautious to keep them dry to clear up those issues. I would hope your suggestions would be well received as you are with them the majority of the day! Much respect for what you do.
2.5yr old kids are not babies and the parents should definitely potty train their children and Stop the bottle feeding!! As a nanny you definitely need to participate in breaking them of these habits !! It just plain laziness on the parents part !! Shameful parenting
I would just say “hey I noticed that so and so seems to have a consistent rash and I was looking into jt online to see how I could help and noticed that having them in a dry clean diaper as much as possible is a great way to combat it. I think changing them as soon as they wake up would be a great start and then we can continue the changes during the day”
My wee boy who is 2, wears 2 nappies to bed, a normal and a pull up over it. (he was waking up wet) every morning as soon as he wakes, hes like “mummy my nappy is full” or “my nappy needs off”
He sleeps 7pm to 7am. So definitely say it in a way where u mean no judgement, all ur doing is trying to help.
Teach the kids how to take the diapers off!!!
I don’t think you have a place to tell them how to parent. But you should be a mandatory reporter like any other person that works with children. Now I don’t like going as far as reporting, so you could let them know their child has a yeast infection and let them handle it unless they have you do it because this is serious.
I would possibly word it in a way of that the kids need to start toilet training, so when you first get them up, sit them on the toilet and see if they wee instead of being outright change your kids nappies when they wake.
This is laziness and neglect.
Truthfully, i would go with; the easiest way to stop the diaper rash and yeast is to take off their diapers and change them before they get their bottles.
I really think these parents don’t feel it is their job to change them because they have two nannies.
If they went to a doctor for the yeast infection they are probably on the doctor’s radar. If theu go back with a second yeast infection as a mandatory reporter that doctor will probably report to children’s services
Them babies need to be start to potty. training. Maybe suggest during the day when you’re there you can help to start potty training. And they are way too big for a bottle. I know it’s none of my business but it will Rot there teeth. My niece girl had 8 teeth rot from bottle sucking Denist said no more bottles
No offence but if they need 2 nanny’s to care for 2 small children they are lazy parents,and by the sound of it not very interested in the children’s well fare…you have to ask yourself what parent of 2 small children wouldn’t notice the nappies full and causing sore skin? I personally would tell them before it escalates…
No.you will lose your job xx
Never tell that to parents especially they are hiring nannies to do their job for them. Just ask if u can come to work early.
2.5 year old triplets. Time to start potty training. And the parents are probably exhausted. My advice would be to do what your suppose too and stay in your lane. You only said wet diapers so I am guessing the babies are not abused. Stop being a Karen and change them when you get there and leave these parents alone.
If they don’t have disability then I’d potty teach and let the parents know your going to slowly work on it and transition to sippy/straw cups
As the nanny you’re responsible for taking care of the childrens needs… the parents consider that your responsibility.Rashes don’t develop from just overnight diapers so there’s more to it than that. They’re 2.5 you should be more concerned with toilet training them not overnight diapers. Change their diapers and move on with your day. If you’re not trying to help the parents establish a new routine as far as toileting and diapering just do the job you’re paid to do. Parents pay you to provide a service for their children not tell them how to parent
In this instance with the examples you have yes I would seek to try to communicate if not try soeqk to their health visitor as it’s birder neglect if the children are having infections etc due to the lack of parenting xxx
If this is the only thing you’ve seen…mind ya business. You’re out of line unless there’s a major health concern. Sounds like they are just saving those first ones for you.
They know those kiddos are wet. They choose not to do anything. Its choice because they know someone else will do it. There is nothing you can do but change them. If you say anything you may not have a job.
“Their parents still give them milk in baby bottles and they give them their bottles immediately after getting them out of their cribs.”
Which means they take them out of the cribs to walk around and have a bottle BUT aren’t changing them! THAT IS DISGUSTING!
What does the other nanny think about this terrible parenting habit? I am sorry, but if you really care for those children (which is very clear you do) you and the other nanny have to speak up, for those poor children…
Honestly, as a mother myself, if I wasn’t changing my kids diaper, id expect to be told or reported. My son is 2 years old and when I check him at night (I check him EVERY SINGLE NIGHT), if he’s got a puffy diaper, i change it. I dont care if he’s sound asleep, theres no excuse for your child to lay in a soaking wet diaper. It’s lazy and neglectful. No child should soak through a diaper and just because diapers CAN hold that much, doesn’t mean it should be a challenge. Sorry, but knowing full well that your child is still in diapers and will fill their diaper during the night and you’re too lazy to get up and change it with a 3 minute fit to avoid a rash is neglect and personally, if not taken seriously, I’d report it. You, a grown ass person, should not be letting your child lay in a soaked diaper for 8+ hours because you don’twanna wake up. That goes for anyone who does it It’s not their “feelings” that matter, it’s that babys well being. Almost every mom here peed themselves a little when pregnant, guaranteed. Did you just sit it in? No? So you tinkle just a little in your pants and you gotta change immediately. A baby fills their diaper to the point where it leaks and you think it’s perfectly fine to let them sleep like that? Terrible pare ting and pure laziness and I don’t feel bad for saying it. Their parents need to do better and honestly, if you see something, say something. Youre there to care for their child. What kind of nanny would yall be if yall let yhese poor kids continuously sleep in soaking wet filth? Find a way to bring it up respectfully. If they choose not to listen. I’d report it because those kids deserve a better nights sleep than that. There’s a difference between it happening a couole times vs every single night. That speaks volumes about the parents.
Girl mind your business and do your job! My daughter sleeps 12 hours a night and when she wake she is pissy. She will pass the hell out if I tried to change her before feeding her.
In hindsight, you and the other nanny are basically raising them. Start introducing new things to them on your own that way you can just tell the parents you felt they were ready.
No. Why are 5 year old children wearing diapers. Potty train these children and put sheet protectors on their beds.
Yessss you should say something. Respectfully though. I have no advice for that because I personally can’t think of a way if be able to tell them without getting my feelings involved and losing my job.
Yes ! Please tell
! That’s so unhealthy
Obviously just do your job that’s why they hired you start potty training them
I wonder if theyd shiw any interest in potty training-would u mind ? Maybe a sippy cup with the milk in the morning-and see how they do-
If you dont think theyre ready-i understand-just a suggestion to see how they do.
Dont come off judgemental - just throw it into a casual conversation- or start with somerthing along the lines of- i was thinking…
Soon enough they will be potty trained.
Start to potty train the babies. They hired u cause they need extra help. They could be overwhelmed with kids and work and change them the moment u get in
Do u bath the children?