I started seeing this guy I met online. We only saw each other at night and I was fine with that. I just enjoyed the time we spent together and I worked all day. We see each other for about 8 months before I found out about him. One day I decided to search his name on FB and found out he had a fiance, and they looked so happy in the pictures together I saw. I felt so hurt by all that I saw. I wondered if anything he told me was true. I was destroyed. I was crying by myself in my car one night after work. I decide to confront him that night. When I confronted him, he stayed quiet. I told him I didnāt know what to do to tell his GF or not because I didnāt want her to feel the way I felt. He told me ānot to.ā I said ābut she needs to knowā. He begged me not to. After I told him to leave, he wouldnāt stop texting me. I would ask him if he loved her? He said, yes, I do. It crushed me knowing he still loved her. He said he loved me too. I told him he couldnāt love two people at the same time. It wasnāt normal. I ended things. And never told his GF. Should I have told his GF about us? I had a lot of proof! ALOT messages and pics. Even after I stopped seeing him, he would still try talking to me. He would text me saying stuff as I knew me better than I know myself. I would just tell him that I didnāt want to talk to him he eventually stopped. Sometimes I regret not telling her. What should I have done? Ps: Months months after I ended things, my best friend tells me she saw him at a store w/ his fiance, and she was pregnant.
Reverse the roles. Would you want to know?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Would you tell the guy you were seeings girlfriend he was cheating?
I find it really hard to believe that it took you 8months to look him up. You shouldāve told her because she deserves to know
Yea she should know smh
I would of been the one to tell her because I feel she deserves to know before she actually marries him and I wonder how many times has he cheated on her.
Uhm yes. And it did not take you 8 months to look him up. Donāt lie lol. Itās 2021.
You should have told her when you found out. Donāt do anything now. Iām sorry but, donāt wreck their family. She will find out all about him on her own.
She deserves to know, but you most definitely can love two people at the same time, you can love different people for different qualities they possess.
Iād tell her so she doesnāt waste $$$ on a wedding with a cheater. Or so at least so she knows and can make a decision on what to do before they get married.
I was in the same situation and found him on Facebook and found a random girl on his friends list and they were in a profile picture with their kid on Facebook. I texted the girlfriend and she said ill handle it and blocked me.
She does need to know. I did the same thing. I walked into his house on the phone with her after i called and talked to her then handed him the phone. I was done.
I told. She didnāt believe me and said I was stalking him. I had tons of proof too. Theyāre still together and he STILL cheats. (Not with me, with her BFF!)
I canāt imagine what the purpose would be, she will find out eventuallyāzebras donāt change their stripes. Heāll do it with someone else. Unless you want revenge and to hurt him, leave her alone.
Months later nah I wouldnāt
I think I would have
You should have told her then. You should still tell her. She deserves to know what a POS he really is
Wow just found out.
Get a guy of your own, you knew he had a girlfriend, she deserves better than the shit you are both going to cause her.
Yes! She deserves to know
I was the girlfriend in a similar situation. Tell her and then never have contact with the guy again.
Just remember- your not wrecking anything. When Iām in a situation where Iām not sure if I should tell the person, I always say, what would I want if I was that person- Iād want the truth. No one deserves that kind of betrayal- I would have told her right away especially if I didnāt know and he was playing both of us. She doesnāt deserve it and neither do you.
It did NOT take you 8 months to look up the man youāre āso madly in love withā on Facebook. Nope. Not buyin it. Girl, you knew. Stop lying 
I slept with a girls boyfriend once. When I found out about her I told her. That was 8 years ago. She dumped him, I dumped him and we are still friends to this day. (my nosey roommate found her license in his sweatshirt pocket. He had left it in the living room.) I think she would have wanted to know. Could have saved her alot of future heartache.
If I was the gf an pregnant I wouldnāt want to know. That shit hurts deeper than normal an causes alot of stress on the baby.
Once a piece of shit always a piece of shit. Cheaters are repeatersā¦ Tell her 
No leave it alone and let it go.
Personally i wuldnt now its been too longā¦shes pregnantā¦let it beā¦it wasnt your faultā¦forgive yourself and move on
Also, my ex husband cheated on me ALL the time. I wish someone had told me.
YES please tell her. Because I wish someone told me sooner when it was happening to me.
I think you knewā¦8 months to finally look him up? This story doesnāt sound right. She is pregnant. Leave it alone.
Donāt waste anymore mental energy on this guy, not worth it, just let it go. Karma has its ways.
I would have told her
Iād tell her. Happened to me with a guy I knew for years from a dating site. I tried telling his PREGNANT girlfriend after I saw they bought a freaking house together on fb. Needless to say, she didnāt believe me even though I showed her the proof. Now sheās pregnant with another kid from him. It made me feel better to get it off my chest and I just laugh about it now. Her problem not mine 
Just think if you were in her shoes, would you want someone to tell you?
She deservesto know. Even if it hurts I still want the truth.
I would want someone to tell me if I was in her situation.
Itās been too long. Let the next one tell her
Id want to know. Before i married the a hole.
I wish someone told me when my ex was cheating on me. Close friends knew and didnāt tell me
No. Not your place. Heāll have to handle it when the time comes. Donāt get involved in their relationship.
Not to be rude, but 8months into it, and you never looked him up on Facebook? Thatās one of the first things I would have done just to see what heās about or at least get a look into his life a little. And secondly, I would had definitely told her if you didnāt actually know he had a fiance. Itās not going to hurt you any. Honesty is key. Always.
All I know is, I would want someone to tell me.
I would tell her, ur probably not the only one he has cheated on her with
If it were me, Iād wanna know especially before marrying them
Either way itās a shitty situation. But much like others have stated, Iād want to know if my significant other was cheating on me, too bad you didnāt tell her long ago before she got pregnant 
that part really sucks.
itās been months so leave it alone and keep moving
Ermā¦Sack him off and walk away! AND tell his partner! Iām sure you could both be good friends! Your happiness canāt ever be built with a cheater!
Wouldnāt you want to know it the roles were reversed? I know I would.
Tell her! She deserves to know the truth. Hopefully sheāll kick his butt to the curb.
I would tell her because if heās not going to continue seeing you heās going to see someone else behind her back and she deserves to know that her fiance is being unfaithful
Better still have the proof or she wonāt believe anything. To be fair I think youāre upset and want to tell her now that sheās got pregnant. Donāt do this out of petty reasons do it for her not you. Once you tell her heās not gonna run to you. Not being mean Iām being honest
Iād gather undeniable proof and tell/show her. Iād tell her Iād wanna know if this had happened to me. When you realized he played you both, you left but you need to let her make her own decision about the situation knowing the facts. Itāll hurt, but Iād rather know asap than be living a lie.
I wish someone had told me. I wasted 2 years of my life trying to be a good wife for him. Now Iāll be a good wife for someone else who sees my worth.
I would definitely tell her. She deserves to know whatās been going on behind her back. As Iām sure you werenāt the first person he stepped out with. And wonāt be the last.
Put yourself in her place. Would you want someone to tell you? I know that I would want to know. I wonder where the hell she thought he was going when he went and spent time with you?
I would have told her, if heās not cheating with you Iām sure there is someone else. I would want to know if my man was out making me like a fool. Wouldnāt you?
Tell her.
Back when Snapchat showed your bear friends I found out the guy I was seeing had a fiancĆ©. He would spend 4 days with me and then āgo to workā where he didnāt have service. So he wouldnāt get caught talking to meā¦ Well his fiancĆ© is the one who worked 4 days a week and on her 3 days off he would be with herā¦
I contacted her on Snapchat and asked if she was seeing this guy because I had been seeing him for a few months. She was like yes weāre engaged and he lived with her!
We wanted to confront him so we met at a convenient store by his house (well the place he stayed when he wasnāt with her). We walked in and he was asleep on the couch. She woke him up and he looked at me then at her back at me and her again and took off out the door! His dad was pulling up at that moment and he tried to jump in the bed of his truck and get his dad to leave. Dad didnāt. I told the fiancĆ© you have more invested in this than I do. Iām out of her.
I love it when women can come together because neither of us had any idea about the other!
I mean this is personal but did you guys ever do the nasty? If you were in a sexual relationship I would have told her immediately. How long as it been since youāve spoken to him?
Deff tell her now. Explain everything typed here. Donāt let her sit in a relationship thinking itās great when heās doing this. Iām sure he will do it again. Iād want to know with all the proof
You can definitely love two people at the same time, or more. Poly is a legitimate type of relationship.
However, this is not poly, itās not ethical nonmonogamy.
Absolutely I would tell her. This whole, āNot your placeā thing is BS. If you know someone is being unfaithful, do not keep that secret. Itās only going to cause more pain the longer it stays hidden.
I have never met someone who said they wouldnāt want to know. Everyone wants to know asap if their partner is unfaithful.
Make sure you have proof though to protect yourself in the process. Some people canāt handle the truth and not having proof could make it worse.
I would want to know.
I canāt believe yall on here saying not to tell the fiance lol itās girl code
Tell her. Wouldnāt you want someone to tell you? I would.
Hell yeah tell her! My ex was my abuser and I told his girlfriend everything about him being a cheater etc! U should have told her she deserves to know!
I never have been one to see the point in intentionally hurting someone else.
Does she deserve to know the truth? Yes! But I am not God, and I also know that whatās done in the dark will ALWAYS come to the light.
Hurt people always want to run and hurt someone else. I never understood that.
Coming from someone who now ex husband cheated while I was pregnant, she will not believe u and honestly thatās something she needs to figure out on her own and Iām sorry but she honestly doesnāt the added stress of u telling her he is cheating while she is pregnant u have no idea if she is problems with the pregnancy cut him off and leave it not ur business
You are very welcome you deserve it we love you so much and you are very sweet girl
Well I personally would want to know. And I donāt think I would have told him that I was going to tell his girlfriend or I was thinking about it. I simply wouldāve told him what I found out and I wouldāve stop talking to him and then I would have immediately went to the girlfriend. She probably not gonna believe you anyway but at least it will put the thought in her head
TELL HER! I am so sick of people saying mind your own business. You would want to know. Yeah sheāll be hurt but she wonāt be spending her life with a cheater
So it took you 8 months to look up his name on FB?
Okay something tells me that you already knew he that he had a girlfriend and you were fine with the nighttime booty calls. You probably even thought at some point he would leave but instead he proposed to her. But if you want to make yourself feel better, go ahead and tell her. She might not believe you, she might lash out at you/ cuss you out but at least your conscious will be clear. Honestly she probably already knows he cheats but go ahead and tell her anyway. 
Tell her. She deserves to know what kind of man she is with.
She probably already was on here asking if she she should leave her fiancĆ© because she think or knows heās cheating but she pregnant lolā¦
Telling them never matters. They cry then act like their literally unbelievable lies are truths. Also - She knows. We always know. 
Iād tell her because I give women the chance to have some self respect and dignity, but they never do. 
You end up being treated like a homewrecker by someone too stupid to realize their home was wrecked long before you.
I would tell her. These men deserve to be exposed.
Tell her. Gently. Iām sure she already has suspicions. I would want to know if my boyfriend was cheating on me. I didnāt know my ex husband was cheating on me until a woman he allegedly raped messaged me. The woman he was cheating on me with KNEW he had a wife and children but felt entitled to him because she doesnāt believe in marriage. Youāre a much better person. She needs to know what sheās getting into before she marries him. You could prevent her from making the biggest mistake of her life. That said, just present the information to her in one message and then leave her be to process it and decide on her own.
Tell. Iād definitely want to know.
It sounds more like you just want to tell her to hurt her rather than because of girl code and seems like you still have feelings for him
Tell her. Personally, I would want to know.
Tell her.
Id want to know too.
my thoughts are he ended things eventually and now that he got his life straight and is settled down, his wife pregnant, ur booty hurt and wanna ruin his life. i, and everybody here, knows for sure u did know about her and it definitively did not take u 8 months to look him up. ur not just gonna see a guy at night for 8 months straight, girl the only one ur fooling is urself. u made a huge mistake getting in between a relationship. even if he is part of it too thats his problem, u are morally obligated to never start a relationship with a taken man, and/or end a relationship where there is an existing s.o. as soon as u find out, otherwise u become a homewrecker. u canāt excuse ur behavior, ur just like him, a po crap trying to justify urself. now u wanna tell her?? why? cz shes pregnant and ur not? cz he has a life w her and not u? u want him free to go back with u?? i really doubt u give a crap about her now if u didnt 8 months agoš
I would absolutely tell her. If it were me, I would want to know.
You should have told her when you first found out, you probably werenāt the first or even only one he was cheating on her with. Now that sheās pregnant, I find it even more necessary to tell her since he more than likely still cheats on her. Hopefully you kept the proof and truly havenāt engaged with him since you called it off. If you have no proof then donāt say anything, either way it may not go well but you definitely want to have proof to send. By the way GET OVER him!! He lied to you and his girlfriend, heās absolute trash.
Tell her. I would want to know. And chances are its not just you he was or is seeing. Guarantee he is seeing at least three at a time. Most men that do this are in it for the thrill or the chase.
I would in the best way you can. Iād want to know anyways
Tell her. She has a right to know.
If u wanna tell her then send her the proof and leave it at that.
You should have said something before.
I would want to know
To late move on she will eventually find out on her own. You missed an opportunity to help a queen straighten her crown that you helped knock offā¦now your jealousā¦ and looking at it totally wrong too! Hes her problem and no longer yours move on find happiness and not in someone elseās home. Hopefully this taught you a lesson! Pray for them as a family and hopefully he has corrected his self!
I would want to know, probably devastate her but she needs to know hes a cheat
You should have said something back months ago. I find it hard to believe you never looked him up on fb till 8 months later. I thought all women where PIās. I think he choose her then and hurt you and you found out sheās pregnant and hurt all over again and now want to hurt them both. Personally as bad as your heart aches you need to move on.
Sheās gonna find out sooner or later.Chances are heās gonna do it again.
I would mind my own business. She will find out soon enough.
I would just leave, unfriend, block him out of my life and consider the discovery a blessing in disguise. Donāt say anything and just move forward with your life.
Iād want to know, no matter how long after. If he did it before heād do it again.
8 months before you searched FB??? I honestly quit reading after that. Girl. I have always searched every database imaginable before the first date. Do your research beforehand next time.
Tell her I would hope if my man was unfaithful someone would tell me just attach all the proof when u decide to tell her
When did this happen?..sheās pregnant you waited all this time to tell her till now it can wait till she at least has the baby ā¦stress causes so much damage to babies in the wound.
Ummmm you waited 8 months to finally add him on social mediaā¦ā¦then you told him you didnāt know what to doā¦ā¦.there was red flags everywhere. He only could see you at night, he kept you a secretā¦ā¦you should tell the woman she deserves to know so she can get things in order for her and her child.
Should have told her then. Its been too long now. Leave it be and move on with your life.
I would have, to potentially keep her from a world of hurt. Now itās too late in my opinion. Especially if sheās already pregnant now it will look like you want him back
Figure out the real reason you want to tell her firstā¦