My ex and I were together almost 10 years, for the last 2 we’ve been separated but still been intimate. We share a 7 year old daughter. This year while we were trying to start working on things, I got dropped out of the blue and he told me he started dating this girl. I was ok with it at first while we had previous discussions of us not bringing other people into our child life right away until we know it’s serious. That was a BIG thing for me especially but, unfortunately that’s not how it played out. He claims he “accidentally” introduced this girl to our daughter because she showed up while there was a miscommunication between them while my daughter was there. She met my daughter and I didn’t find out till days later. I was upset but told him I would like if she wasn’t around until I met her personally. He refused because he said I didn’t need to meet her. I voiced that I would feel more comfortable because I just wanted a name to the face, I want to know who is going to be around my child in case of an emergency. Earlier this year he and my daughter got into a serious car accident just the two of them where he should’ve been taking by ambulance but refused. I kept referring to that situation in case it happened again and if this person was to be left behind with my child I could at LEAST know the name and face. He still refused, fast forward to months later he’s still in a relationship with this girl but we slept together. I know boundaries were crossed and we agreed we wouldn’t do it anymore. He told her and they broke up. While broken up they reminded friends, one day while I was over at his house I overheard them arguing and she said disrespectful things about me and I was shocked. I told him if he’s thinking about repairing things with him I’m fine with that but, I didn’t want my daughter to be around somebody that disrespected me and said ugly things about me. He never addressed the situation with her and never asked her to apologize for the things she said about me. When him and I slept together I owned up and apologized on my end and still got ugly hateful things said to me. They’ve been broken up STILL & on Halloween, he told me the day of she was gonna be there. My daughter voiced to me she was upset and her dad ruined her Halloween so they called it quits again. Now, they’re trying again and her dad thinks I’m being a jerk still for asking for an apology for what she said about me. I voiced idk how he can allow somebody to disrespect the mother of his child and be okay with showing his daughter that’s ok. Am I wrong? How can I go about the situation further?
This is control on your end. You don’t get to meet his gf. And if the child isn’t in danger you don’t have a choice when it’s time what or who she’s around. I’m sorry. Let go though make your life easier
You’re in the wrong. Your focus is on you and not your child or making sure your child is shielded from your adult issues. You don’t get to meet everyone who will be around your child. It’s his child too and he is capable of making those decisions. You don’t have more “parenting power”
My advice on this is to get a lawyer. Do this the legal way. Sometimes when we break up we arent rational we are only human. The judge has no emotions regarding this. The judge doesnt want the child in toxic situations. Also i would never be intimate with this man again
You’re wrong. You slept with her man and you’re upset that she said something disrespectful about you. A conversation needs to be had now and boundaries need to be laid between all three of you…for the well being of the child.
You slept with her boyfriend, of course she’s gonna say some ugly words. She doesn’t owe you an apology 
Okay but you don’t get to control who he has around her. You can request and he has the choice to either oblige or not. He’s not required to do as you wish.
You disrespected that woman by sleeping with your ex when you knew he was in a relationship.
Sounds like both of you need to grow up! You both are playing little kid games while being parents.
She doesn’t owe you an apology, and just because you said sorry she doesn’t have to accept. Bottom line is you knew what you were doing.
You all need to grow up for that child
Your messiness caught up with you and you don’t like it. You have no right to meet the new girlfriend. While I don’t think it’s right that your daughter overheard the conversation, I think it’s comical that you want an apology after sleeping with HER boyfriend.
You slept with her boy friend knowing they were in a relationship and you thought she wouldn’t have anything negative to say about you?
You slept with him WHILE they were together. You both are wrong. I wouldn’t apologize to some chick , no matter who she was if she slept with my man, and “overhears” me ripping her. Yall need to be done and focus on the kid. He obviously doesn’t want you or her . He wants whatever he can screw in the moment .
I wouldn’t be so adamant about wanting an apology. Consider the source. The focus here is your child. She doesn’t need to be around the drama and hearing bad things about her Mom. You need to define your relationship with this guy. Either continue being with him and accept his lifestyle or cut it off and coparent. Your child is the one getting hurt. Have a heart to heart with him about all this and do what is best for the child. When you have a child, nothing is about you anymore; that child is number one.
She said ugly things about you because you did ugly things with HER man while you knew about her. The rest is you trying to control the situation. You have no say in who he brings around your shared child as long as the child is safe and you certainly dont need to meet them.
If anything YOU owe that woman an apology for what you DID to her, she owes no apology to you for pointing out your inner ugly.
Do better.
It sucks but if you guys aren’t together you don’t get that kind of control. He doesn’t have to let you meet her, you can’t force an apology, and you don’t really get a say whether she’s around your child on his parenting time. That’s aside from you being the other woman in their relationship. It really sounds like you guys need to set up some set in stone kind of boundaries and figure out what coparenting without a romantic relationship is going to look like.
Lmao…let her have him he’s a cheat
She disrespected you because you disrespected her when you slept with her man. He can’t demand that she respects the woman that colluded with him in disrespecting their relationship and her.
You need to re-exam why you need an apology from someone who didn’t say those things. Let go
You slept with him knowing they were together, regardless of y’all’s history/relationship. Of course she’s gonna say things about you- she’s hurt and you knew better. You do not need to know every detail of his personal life. Trust HIS judgment until he gives you a legitimate reason not to. You can not think and react based on “emotions/feelings”. While you are the mother you have to respect his role as a father. The child is also old enough to talk and communicate with you about dangerous situations. And you have to give respect to be respectable so take the hurtful and mean words and get over it- you owe that to her for what you did.
I agree to some of the above comments. No, you don’t have to meet someone your ex is seeing. Period. But you stated separated? Not divorced, correct? So technically you’re still sleeping with your husband and the new girl is sleeping with a married man!!!
She has every right to say something bad about you. You slept with her man. Of course she isn’t going to be happy with you. Has your child said she has said bad things in front of her about you? If not then let it be. Ya’ll jumping back in and out is what’s messing with your child. She feels like the other woman is coming between Ya’ll as to why she hated that day. Ya’ll got to stop.
Quit doin him and when ur fighter is with him n u know she is there go meet her. Absolutely u have a right to know who is around ur kid. AND she is an ass!
He can’t control what he does trust me the courts will tell you that
she doesn’t owe you anything… you knew they were together and still slept with him… you’re the problem
I don’t think I would speak very highly of someone that knew my boyfriend was with me but couldn’t put her obsession aside to stop sleeping with him I would be nasty to. But not to just you him to and that would be the last you seen of me. The real question is why are you okay with being his fuck toy? Keep your puss in your pants and leave the man alone clearly your not working anything out or it would have happened. Best advice if you wanna get to know the next one then your going to need to get over him. No one wants to meet the jealous baby mom and I am sorry but that’s exactly what’s happening. You don’t have complete control and it’s killing you. It sounds like your daughter was alright with it, then decided she wasn’t based on the OPINION she’s heard YOU voice. If this woman treated her well that’s a fuck up on your part on another level. Trust me I did the co-parenting thing. 
Set your feelings aside and start doing what’s best for your child.
Yeah Idk why you think you are the victim but you slept with her dude your lucky all she did was have some words for you lol
Who is she where you need an apology/ validation. Let her have him, . He’s a cheater, keep co parenting and let it be.
You slept with her man, she doesn’t owe you anything. If anything maybe you owe her an apology.
Girllll, first of all stop sleeping w that dude. He don’t deserve it. Next, sounds like you need to take care of YOU and your daughter, and if that includes court, so be it. You deserve an apology, and your daughter deserves honesty and clarity.
It would be nice if you guys could work together co parenting but it doesn’t sound like he wants to do that. He doesn’t have to let you meet her and unless she is a danger you can’t control who he brings around on his time. Best bet is go to court, get visitation and custody set there and maybe you can try to have the judge put in about no significant others for either of you around your daughter for a certain time period. If you can even get a judge to agree to that but after that time period there isn’t much you can do. I understand how you feel but I also understand how she would say bad things about you, I mean you did sleep with him when they were together.
I was in a similar situation. He lies to me for a whole year just so we could sleep together still. My son ratted him out. So I talked to the girl on my own. Nothing ugly was said between us. Whether she talked about me IDK. We got back together. She ended up moving to the same town. I didn’t like seeing her face all the time that’s for sure. But I never showed that she bothered me in anyway. Kill with kindness
She said disrespectful things about you cause you slept with her man🤷🏻♀️
He is the dad you may not like it but as long as she is good to your child what you think is irrelevant and stop sleeping with him you two are not meant to be🤷🏻♀️
You’re both wrong and setting a terrible example for your child. She’s 7 and knows exactly what’s going on. Stop acting like children and be adults
Sounds to me like you are trying to control his life.
u don’t deserve an apology cause u slept around with another woman’s man. sorry. but its the truth. baby dad not you just don’t do that even if you do apologize for that. you coulda said no but u decided u needed dick so u overstepped some major boundaries. i would’ve said shit about you too if i was her 
as for her not being around blah blah blah. you can’t control who he has around the kid. just like he control it on your end. ask your kids what he name is and move on from it if you really need to know.
Would it be nice to meet his new SO, yeah. But do you have any actual say in it, no.
I tried to introduce my boyfriend to my daughter’s father, I told him that our daughter had met him, but I thought he’d like to meet who was around our daughter. It’s been 2.5 years, he still refuses. When he was dating someone, he didn’t even want me to know about it. As long as she was good to my kid, I didn’t really care.
Let it go and stay away from him unless it pertains to your kid. I know damn well my kid will speak up on my behalf if she hears someone disrespecting me. I hear from her, my dad said, my other grandma said, and I told them they were wrong.
You disrespected her first, so yeah, she doesn’t owe you anything, leave them alone and stay out of it
You need to grow up. You’re the one who did her wrong by knowingly sleeping with him while they were together. She had every right to call you those names. Its not like she said it in front of your child. That would be different. But you don’t get to decide if she can be around your child if he has decided that he wants to be with her. Not unless she hurts your child…
Yes from a mothers perspective you wouldn’t want anyone bad mouthing you around your child but you slipped up and slept with him while he was with her. She is justified for being hurt… To top it off, you said you owned up to the situation but did you ever talk with her and apologize?
I know its difficult to let go from time to time, but you cannot use your child as a pawn to get what you desire out of it any longer. You can look out for your kid, but he is still the fathwr and deserves respect just as much as you and you shat on that respect you get from his girlfriend the moment you screwed their relationship.
Put yourself in the opposite shoes darling…
You screwed her boyfriend, get over it 
As a step mom, I do not feel like meeting the mother was part of my obligation. It was to do right while with the child
You’re not the victim homewrecker. You and your ex need to be single until you figure your shit out. This is all childish foolness.
Sounds like your more worried about him & his new bird , you jealous???
Soon you be using your daughter as a weapon !!!
Move on & be happy for your daughter sake
Chica, you need to stop drop and roll your azz away from that drama! This is not a healthy relationship for anyone involved, especially that poor child. Boundaries! Stick to them!! The last thing that you want to do is normalize this mess and your daughter to think it’s ok. Did you want her going through what you’re agonizing over right now when she’s older and starts dating?
Boundaries.
You’re part of the problem
End of story lol
But she screwed your husband. Your still married.
Stop sleeping with him!!
He doesn’t give one flip about either of you…So disrespectful of both you and him for one putting your child through this mess and rwo for disrespecting the other girl…I feel sorry for the child in all this Drama…Get on with your life and stop trying to control a issue you cant…
You slept with her man… he’s not yours anymore. Period. You’re really mad she trashed talked you for being a homewrecker? Get over it. If you knew he was in a relationship with someone and still did what you did it’s your problem, not hers. She has every right to place boundaries on things if they are together. She has every right to be angry with you. Seems to me like you’re the one who needs to let the situation and him go.
You slept with him while they were together. I would talk some serious sh*t about you (and him) if I was in her situation as well. I would expect an apology from YOU. Not the other way around.
Sorry but you sound like a young teenager. You can’t sleep with him if you know he has a girlfriend then get mad when she says something.
I am in the complete opposite side of this. My boyfriend’s soon to be ex, theyve been separated since july 2020 and this “woman” has done nothing but bad mouth my boyfriend and me. She is so severely mentally unstable, that she will most likely lose custody. Dont be this woman. Let him go. You do not have to meet her.
I get it. But legally… if it’s on his time. Not ur business as long as the child is in no harm.
You’re lucky all she said was words. You banged HER man. You’re the problem. Let him live his life and stop worrying about her.
No one owes you an apology. You just want control.
Stop sleeping w your ex
I think you all need to figure out your stuff and leave that poor kid out of it. And do it quickly. Go to counseling. Something. All 3 of you are damaging that child by being selfish and only thinking of yourselves. Grow up.
You’re wrong and your daughter is feeding off your feelings about the situation. If this women will be in her life you need to allow your daughter to form a relationship with her without your personal opinions. As a parent who co-parents I get that a mom NEEDS to know who their kids are around unfortunately we don’t get that luxury. And I feel like he was keeping you two apart for a reason.
Haha yeah you’re wrong af
So say you met her, would it really make any difference? Not really expect that you met her once. You should trust in him that he is letting another woman around your daughter and know that he is making a safe choice. Which to me doesn’t sound like she is a terrible person, it just sounds like she is hurt and that is justiciable they we together when he cheated on her with you. I’m sure if the tables were turned it would be the same way you would be trash talking the other woman? I don’t know you to say for sure but we all get hurt and angry in different ways… I think you need to let go of that relationship he doesn’t sound like he can keep his junk in his pants anyways, it’ll save you a lot of heartbreak in the end, and you just gotta be strong for your daughter it isn’t fair to keep having her see you guys together then the next minute he’s with another. It gives her a lot of mixed signals and you definitely don’t want that. I hope things work out for you.
Girl move tf on and leave your baby daddy alone and let him be in his relationship. stop sleeping with him!!! that’s “HER MAN” now I would be talking all kinds of shit about you too if I was in her shoes. she doesn’t have to apologize for shit that YOU did!! You should be the one to apologize NOT HER!! You sound very jealous of his new fling
You want an apology from her yet you slept with her boyfriend. Regardless of your history with him they were in a relationship and you should have backed off. This guy is playing both of you. Your poor daughter is ultimately the one who is going to get hurt in this childish relationship mess.
Sounds to me like you’re the problem
So you slept with him knowing he had a girlfriend and you are mad? Make it make sense? You sound like a 16 year old child if you ask me. To me it seems like you just don’t want him with anyone and if you can work your way in to have sex with him at any opportunity it sounds like you would. Just my opinion tho 
Also think of your child first. She’s the one who matters
Eww. All 3 of y’all need therapy… What I don’t understand is why either one of you ladies are giving this loser the time of day, let alone the pussy. He’s playing y’all both like a fiddle.
If you have split, why are you going to bed with him? Read your Bible. Be lifted up in Jesus name. You’re worth more
Ok, let me get this straight …. YOU slept with HER man and she got upset and talked shit about you …. And YOU want HER to apologize to you ? . Lord, you sound all types of CRAZY!!!
I was the child in a situation similar to this growing up…so from the standpoint of your daughter…put her first. What you want doesn’t matter, especially if you keep choosing to do the wrong thing. Be the example not the reason she needs one. Stop being selfish…and for the love of God, stop knocking boots with your ex. He’ll keep doing it, because you don’t show enough respect for yourself to demand better from him. Move on…make your daughter the focus
Yeah I’d be mad as hell at you if it was me . My ex had an ex like this that they didn’t even have kids together but they still talked all the time she was still in love with him and wouldn’t just drop it and had they had the chance to sleep together they would if she was just so far away but maybe they actually did . Idk . He went up that way a few times “picking family up’ . She abused his son when they were together so it all just made me really sick that she could abuse his son and still talk to her that way. Yeah I would hate you for real and never apologize for it . You sleeping with him is just low and you owe her the apology because things will never be the same for them . You could of just moved on like dump his bum ass already
Grow up and move on. For the sake of your child… sounds confusing as all hell for your daughter …
Better start saving up for therapy for that kid.
You should be allowed to meet a woman who’s going to be around your child. Bottom line. He needs to grow up. But it’s probably not a good idea to sleep with your ex. No wonder she’s angry, but she’s a fool for allowing him back in her life when he clearly isn’t over you.
I understand that your daughter is your first concern, but I think you got your priorities all mixed up. You two broke up and he started seeing someone else. Now you try to keep his mind still thinking about you by sleeping with him while he is with someone else. Then you complain about her talking shit about you and expect an apology. She is an innocent bystander in your jealous mind. You are obviously not going to be together and you sound like you are causing all the drama by not moving on from the situation. He’s not that innocent either for cheating on his new girl with you. I have no sympathy for you or him. I feel sorry for the new girl and your daughter for having to be apart of all this unnecessary drama. Stop trying to play victim.
She doesn’t owe you an apology lmao. While y’all were separated she slept with him- he wasn’t yours. You KNEW they were together when you slept with him while they were together and you’re just as trashy as him for doing it while knowing. You’re 100% in the wrong and tbh, she has a right to feel how she feels towards you, though he’s at fault as well. If anything you owe the apology😂
Your not upset about your daughter being put through any drama by your Ex… that’s an excuse your using. Your upset because you don’t get to meet the other person he’s sleeping with. You are just as much of the drama as they are. All of you need to grow up and realize this child is suffering for your choices.
What kind of advice are you looking for?
If he is your ex, you don’t get to dictate who he sleeps with nor who he introduces to your child.
You have no control there.
If you are still together, he is cheating on you and her.
Time to reevaluate your choices. Reset your brain.
He doesn’t value you: stop seeing him intimately.
Hard truths you need to swallow:
While wanting to know who your child is a reasonable request… He doesn’t have to tell you. A judge may not like him trying to straight out hide that certain people are around. But doubt he’d get in trouble for what your describing.
And you cant control who he dates, how he behaves, or even who he has around the child on his time.
Only way you can control who he has around is if they are proven to be unfit or dangerous to the child.
If you want him to be held to certain rules about dating pertaining to how the child is exposed to it. You have to get it in a court order
Some things you just can’t force though.
And to play devils advocate, it sounds like she was probably still mad that you two cheated together.
Hard to say if you deserve an apology when you and he are the ones who hurt her first.
She’s an bystander to whatever you guys still had going on. He probably shouldn’t have dated her if he still had an unresolved thing going on with you for the last 2 years
You don’t get to sleep with another woman’s man and then expect her to apologize for talking shit about you because of it. YOU OWE HER AN APOLOGY. And she doesn’t owe you forgiveness.
You sound controlling.
Why do you stay intimate with him? He isn’t trying to get you back or make things right, obviously! So apparently you’ve just been hanging on for something more. Now you sound jealous of his gf. You need to stop! You put yourself in this situation getting hurt, by letting him “get it” when he wanted it. Move on and find someone else! She has every right to be furious with you.
You put yourself in a place of sleeping with her boyfriend and now wanna play victim because she has some choice words about you… that sounds a little weird…
It looks like your only worried about your ex and your daughter can sense that, maybe the daughter doesn’t really have a problem with the new girlfriend, she just knows her mom does so she says what you want to hear…
Focus on your daughter and stop trying to control situations with your ex
You need to move on. You’ve let yourself become toxic AF with him and you’re teaching your daughter to be the same way. If he wants to be with her that’s fine. But you need to stop giving him coochie when you know damn well he’s with someone else and it will only complicate things for your child who has no choice but soak this up. His girlfriend has no reason to like you and your BD feeds on you both being dramatic.
Wow. She owes you nothing. You have no say you meets your daughter while she’s with him. And don’t put things in that’s head or question her. Grow up and keep your pants on
You’re not entitled to meeting the other woman simply because she’s going to be there with your child. As her father he can make the decisions in his household. Theres no law saying a parent is entitled to meeting a new partner just because you demand it.
You caused all this drama for your daughter. What you did was wrong. Of course there is animosity and hurt feelings. Give her some time and give them some space, stop trying to micromanage his household. Reach out to her after you have given them space and straighten it out yourself instead of putting your ex in the middle in hopes he will stand up for you.
If my boyfriend cheated with his ex, I would not be nice. You knew about her and still did it. You do not deserve anything from her. Focus on your daughter and consider going to therapy.
I feel like this wouldn’t be an issue if you were over him. And about her “disrespecting” you, you kind of did that first when you slept with her bf. They don’t owe you anything and the sooner you’re over him, the sooner you can peacefully coparent
I think you should be allowed to meet her buttttt don’t expect an apology. To her right now you’re the girl who slept with her boyfriend months into their relationship. I wouldn’t apologize to you either. She’s also a human being with valid feelings. If I was her I’d run from the whole situation.
Really you are separated for 2 years and you are still intimate, wrong for so many reasons. You want to meet his friend yet you are both invoked with the same man. Let it be. If he is a good dad he will make good decisions just as I am sure you would if the times were reversed.
This is on u not the girl u slept with HER man behind her back and yet u want an apology? 
ur coursing the unnecessary hurt and bad feeling for ur daughter step away and leave them be xx
Sorry, this might hurt a little. Stop being an idiot, stop sleeping with him, knowing he’s screwing another woman. For God’s sake, grab a spine. End it with him, completely. Lay down some ground rules as far as this nasty trash(the other POA) goes, that is your child as well. Pull your head out of your behind, dump his sorry ass for good, stop hanging around like a pathetic puppy. Get on with your life, especially for your child, he’s a dick and always will be. He’s using you because you keep letting him do so, stop it. Have a little self-respect for yourself, and teach your child how someone should NOT be treating you. Get yourself out of that situation and raise your child away from that mess. If you have to, go to court to sort this out and ensure he knows the rules and follows them. Like I said, he’s an asshole and always will be. And yes, I speak from experience, it only gets better when you stop being a doormat and show assholes they can’t treat you like dirt. You deserve better, go get it.
Leave him alone! It’s over
He is a slime ball that is probably absolutely loving the fact two women are fighting over him and slagging each other off , all cos of him. You are almost as bad for sleeping with him when you are meant to be broken up and knew he was with her. Move on, say no if he ever tries it on again, and all of you need to grow up for the sake of your daughter.
She owes you no apology, you slept with the guy she was dating, wether you see it like that or not. You knew he was with her and still did it, honestly that’s slimy as hell.
I’m sorry u expect her to respect u in any way when u decided to go behind her back and sleep with her man??? Id be saying disrespectful ass shit about ya too!
Just give him up - see him when collecting/dropping off your daughter other than that just leave him and his girlfriend be - you are most of the problem here - split up and still intimate? really grow up!
Oof, girl. Sorry to say, the GF truly owes you nothing… Her opinion of you is hers to have, and not your business.
Sight exception is if your daughter is hearing her tear into you. Your daughter should not be hearing any part of that. If the GF was smart, she should leave and let you and your (still) HUSBAND figure things out — obviously, you and him aren’t finished with each other to have sex. If you’re truly done, you should stop putting yourself in these situations with him (why were you even alone together with him?) and divorce him—because how it looks as if you both enjoy playing games with everyone’s lives and hearts here, including your daughter’s. Both of you should focus on being better for her.
Your the one making this messy
Lol so she was in a relationship with him, and he cheated on her with you and you think she owes YOU an apology…Lol umm no try again. This whole situation is toxic. Leave him be to move on with his life, he can choose who he has around his daughter on his time and she owes you nothing, you’re the one that disrespected her, not the other way around. As long as she treats your child respectfully and treats her well that’s what matters.
If it were me I’d work on co-parenting, not sleeping with him and accepting that I have no control over what he does. If you don’t like that last part lawyer up 
You are being petty and making yourself look like the bitter jealous ex and there’s only one person who will truly suffer your daughter
I trust the father of my kids’ judgment I’ve never felt like I should have to meet anyone he’s been seeing bc I know he’s not going to have my kids around anybody is going to mistreat our kids. He’s been in quite a few relationships but my kids have always said they were good to them. That’s all I care about. You slept with her man and that was disrespectful so I don’t think she owes you an apology. Just be a woman about it and let him go.