Ummmm are you slow? Monthly expenses absolutely change when literally anyone extra is involved. Not sorry but power, water, and a roof to live under all absolutely have to do with the kids. If you are working then file your kids, but if not then there is absolutely no reason to boyfriend cannot file them. So it is okay to let him provide housing and utilities for them but not file them on his taxes? He can file and you both get a percentage of the refund. Not to mention, he is their FATHER!! He actually doesn’t even need your permission. I hope he just goes ahead and does it. GREED WILL SEND YOU TO HELL HONEY!! I’m just going to assume that these comments did not go like you thought they would.
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You’re definitely wrong. His expenses are absolutely affected by having children. Bigger mortgage for big enough house. More power used. More water used. You also left out if you work at all or not? He pays the majority of the bills. Children need housing and utilities and it’s incredibly disrespectful for you to think those aren’t “child related” he provides for the children. I assure you providing for those babies is much more than just child care and food. How about you each claim one. Problem solved. Stop being selfish and stingy. You also said he pays for car and insurance, yet you complain you use “your” car for appointments. You mean your car that he pays for? Girl, grow up.
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Yes you are in the wrong. This is where you could at least come to the agreement that every other year you alternate who claims the kids. Mortgage, lights, water, all that…. Does pay for the kids. To LIVE. UGH. 
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I’m more confused that people are claiming their kids on tax 
Yeah you are wrong, smart man to not marry you!!
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I would see who gets more back and then that person files for them … a mortgage electric water etc also goes towards the kids
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If you arent married…each ckaim one
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I have to agree with everyone, he pays the majority of bills, housing etc…and they are his kids too so he claims them just how it is done, sorry…
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Your kids don’t drink water? Shower? They like living in caves (I do, but that’s not the point)? No light to do their homework or electricity to chill/cook food they eat? They never need the internet for a report or even for fun? They sleep outside, I assume. Yanno, that mortgage and all. And, you have an uninsured vehicle and let your kids travel in it?
Wow.
It’s a partnership for a reason. Damn, I’d be pissed, too!
I think a house, water, electric, and gas are a bit more important than clothing. You’ve literally stated that he pays ALL of you and your kids MAIN living expenses. You can’t be this dense?
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You sound very greedy and selfish.
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Each claim one child
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Girl. You trippin.
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Well whoever will get more money back should be claiming… 10 years together and tit for tat mentality… fighting over money… maybe you two should start evenly splitting expenses so it feels fair for you and you see what he Is actually contributing…
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Different point of view… maybe she is a stay at home mom and feels.like she is loosing all independence?? Holding onto the one thing she has?? Maybe feeling out of control… we.dont know this relationship dynamic… in a 10 year relationship why dose the guy suddenly want to take that away from her?
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I can’t believe this post
Only way I would let anyone claim my kids is if the bank account is shared jointly that way i know the money could be spent towards my kids. From the sounds of it they possibly dont share finances.
Geese. It sounds like he is supporting you. He should file head of household. If not, pay him rent.
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When I was with my childrens father, every year we split it. I think that was fair. But I also payed for half all the bills.
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There his kids he can claim them if they live with him.
Looks like you split thier expenses. All of his bills are child related too. Claim one each or give him half of your ctc.
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My bf of 8 years claims our two kids and our situation is similar (only I pay a portion of our morgage, so count yourself lucky) and he gives me money for claiming the kids… He gets more due to him working more then I do (I only do 2 days a week, he’s full time), so it makes sense for him to claim… whoever would get more if your in a relationship would be the way to go imo.
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Looks like you need to have a serious sit down and put all the bills and expenses down. Because right now it seems like he is paying more. See a tax accountant and file together. My ex and I did this and depending on who he thought would get more he had that parent claim him. Then the refund went to bills and helped us stay ahead.
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Not wrong…if he wanted to really be a part of family, he would’ve married you.
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Who’s gonna tell her 
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I claim the kids because I make less than my husband and he likes to do it that way so I can have a little more money.
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Why don’t you each claim one
You thinking paying the mortgage isn’t a child related expense? That’s so fucking ignorant. He deserves it just as much as you do. I say claim one each. They don’t use water or electricity? They have a roof over their head, water to shower and use te bathroom etc, lights so they can see and watch tv.
Why don’t you each claim 1 each??? Or switch off every year???
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I agree with the others, all the bills he pays do support the kids. They live under the roof the mortgage pays and as long as they watch tv and take showers the utilities are supporting them too. Have you never considered this? You should each claim one.
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I mean “YOUR” kids do watch tv, take a shower, eat, ride in the cars right?
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guess they find need a house to live in or lights n running water
The refund should be shared paying the mortgage is a kids related thing lights water electric etc you should do it both ways then whichever is higher that person files then you split the refund
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Whoever makes the less should claim them. Uhmmm BUT you’re in a relationship it shouldn’t be YOUR refund or HIS refund.
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If you have kids, all bills are child related. Electricity =for kids to have electricity, mortgage=for kids to have a place to live, car and insurance= so kids have transportation, phone and internet= so kids will have phone and internet etc. All bills, regardless if you think they do or don’t, are for the kids. Let him claim, if he’s paying all that, his expenses are more than yours.
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Get married and problem solved. 
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I don’t get it. If u live together isn’t it both of your money tho. Shouldn’t matter who claims them. Whoever would get most on their rebate claiming them should do it. That’s how I see it lol
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How about one kid each
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Wait a minute…is this even a relationship or roommates? Sounds like co parenting gone bad. I’m confused how she doesn’t think the roof over HER head, insurance for HER car, and utilities SHE uses doesn’t support her as well. I get she works and pays bills too and just bcuz she pays daycare etc does not mean his monthly expenses aren’t taking care of his family.
Well then maybe he should switch roles with her and let her pay everything while he just pays the child expenses so he can claim them both on his taxes and see how that works out for her. 
I’m surprised this is even a question if she’s wrong.
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There’s way too many red flags with this whole situation 
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Why do people need to be all crazy during tax season?
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Yes. the answer to your absolutely ridiculous question is yes.
You need a wake up call 
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Heck no you’re not wrong! Claim your children girl
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I’m in Canada but I know if you have kids together and live together, you are considered common law and cannot claim kids on your taxes… it’s only for single parents.
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I let mine claim the kids .
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You are just selfish. 
Me an my husband file together
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You guys don’t share money? Either way, the head of household should claim any dependents. Whoever makes the most money. That’s how it works. And since the ctc is supposed to be for the kids that the two of you share, it shouldn’t be for just one of you to spend. So it doesn’t matter who gets it. You should either split it, or spend it on the kids.
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Kids do have water to drink and bath, they do have a warm place to sleep at night, they do get their clothes washed with water, they do ride in an insured car. quit playing games. He is paying alot to provide for those children and you. If you can’t marry the guy at least let him claim one child and you claim the other… petty… but why is marriage out of the question?
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So, I’m guessing you keep the finances different and not together, which is fine, lots of couples do. They’re your kids so you can claim them but please understand that every thing he pays for is for your children. Without the mortgage, where would they sleep? Without a car note and insurance how would you get from point A to B? Without a phone how would you make doctors appts? Without internet how do your kids watch TV? without lights, how do your children see? without water how do your children bathe? without electricity how do cook for your children?
They’re your kids so claim them, but you need to understand that everything he pays for is not just for himself, but takes care of everyone in that home.
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Why don’t you each take it in turns? Or each claim 1 child?
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Its would make sense for you to claim one and him to claim one.
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Yes u r wrong because he work to take care of u and them kids it doesn’t matter if u have a job or not. What does matter is he is taking care of his responsibility u need to get your head out of your ass and realize that
Girl you are silly as hell. Roof,lights, insurance and odds & ends is taking care of the kids. You do very minimal and yet you should file taxes on the kids,why? You are too much! 
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You’re a couple so it shouldn’t matter who pays more. Whoever is going to get a bigger.return with the kids should.claim.them or both claim.one. we always do whoever is going.to.get.the biggernretirm worh the kids claims them. We use the money to get the kids clothes and stuff anyway so it all goes back to them for the most part anyways.
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I claim our son because it’s more beneficial to both of us if I do. Without more context, it seems to me like you’re both being unreasonable.
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Not only wrong but stupid
Split it. “what’s mine is yours” right?
So you have a home, phone, internet, water and heat but your kids use none of it?
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I’d only have this problem with an ex. Even when I was not married yet, I always claimed them because we shared the finances and it didn’t matter because it all went into the same bank account. I’m sorry but in a real relationship, there’s no reason for division. If you have a hard time with 50/50 then how is a relationship a relationship 100%? Fair is fair. He also pays a majority of the finances and while you are paying daycare which can be costly, I agree with the first person who commented, then are you gonna live by yourself and pay all these bills yourself too? Because then that’s what should be happening. Incompatibility is what I smell.
Wow, if he didn’t pay all those bills you’d all be homeless.
You take one child, and he takes one.
Sharing is caring.
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Woooow… um… if I were your man I’d tell you to get the hell out. He’s paying that much out it would be cheaper to pay support
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Greedy much? Why can’t you both claim one child???
Mortgage for home of the children, electric the children use water the children use, car and insurance for the children to ride in… sorry but he does pay bills for what also benefits the children…
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Everything hes paying for is infact for them kids as well I think if your together and are working as a team the one that will get the most back should be the one claiming them? Or if you wanna be weird about it one claim one and the other claim the other…
Why aren’t you filing together?
Um if they live in the house and consume electricity water internet etc then yes its only fair he is compensated. You share responsibility and financial cost so why can’t he claim?
You both should have been filing together the moment you started living together and had a child together. Tax evasion much?
Nope, you are not in the wrong. He used your best friend as an excuse for his own guilt. Don’t lose your friends over a man that has no respect for you.
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You are definitely in the wrong !
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NTA. Your boyfriend is insecure. Your boyfriend has the problem. You had your friend long before your boyfriend. Keep the friend, really consider getting rid of the boyfriend.
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He cheats and blames you, you are 100% in the right and he is just trying to control you, don’t let him dictate your friends, good on your for standing up to him
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He’s the asshole! You were open about your bestie and he did the dirty on you completely. He needs to check himself and honestly you’d be better off without him imo x
Nope. He knew he was your friend from the start. Trying to cut you off from ANY support system proves that he doesn’t have YOUR best interests … I think you need to cut your BF off. He isn’t right for you. You deserve somebody who trusts, respects & loves you!!!
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Nope, the problem with your relationship was his second relationship. My ex cute out my close friends because they would point out his crap and help me see it how he was. That’s what they don’t like.
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Tell your “boy friend” to get lost. You don’t deserve his treatment - he is cheating on you and blaming you or your long time friend. You are NOT THE A–HOLE, your “boyfriend” is.
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NOT at all in the wrong!! That’s your childhood best friend… he wanted a reason to blame you so he could feel better for his “other” life… I’ll be damned if someone I was with told me I couldn’t talk to a childhood friend!!! Sarah Diveley
Who always has your back Don’t keep turning your back on them…
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Nope, not wrong. The BF needs to trust you. Without trust, there is no relationship.
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Yall have a toxic relationship. Time to let him go.
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But DOES your friend like you? He very well actually may be what’s causing your problems… You’re not the a for wanting to keep friends and not having to cut ties, but if it’s truly getting between your relationship then you’re going to have to pick one or the other. You’ve spent 7 years proving you guys can not compromise on this
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No, of course not.
Your ‘boyfriend’ is controlling and manipulative. Not to mention while he’s all hung up on your friends possible crush on you, he’s off with someone else.
Why would you keep humoring the fool?
This is your chance to completely get rid of him and live your life.
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Hes been cheating for a long time. « period , get rid of him
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No, you’re not wrong. Your best friend is just that if you say he is, period. Especially being friends for so long. Your boyfriend is just insecure and if he can’t get over that insecurity, he’s gotta go my boyfriend has a girl best friend, and he has known her since before we were together. At first I was a little suspicious about it, but I quickly got over it. They’re just best friends, period. Nothing wrong with it
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Never cut off any of your friends for any man. He’s been your friend for 15 years and through it all he remained your friend. He’s been your best friend long before you knew your boyfriend.
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Girl, you were right the first time. Throw that whole dude away. Keep the friend.
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no you’re not in the wrong at all!!
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You are not wrong! Never give up a true friendship for a relationship! As you have admitted your friend shows up when your boyfriend bails out. Keep your friend, loose the boy
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He’s a hypocritical narcissistic man child. He’s proven over n over He’s controlling, jealous and insecure. Not only that he’s the one who cheated. Time to cut ties with him relationship wise and only coparent… Live your life and be happy 
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Unless there was really reason for your S/O to be suspicious that you’re not including in your comment, it sounds like he was cheating the entire time and you only found out about the one. Guilty conscious is such a tattle tale. Your best friend doesn’t deserve any of it and I feel bad for him. If I were you, I would not give the boyfriend any more time to figure out if y’all should work it out… I would make that decision for him and move on. The whole thing sounds toxic and you shouldn’t be with someone who is so insecure and controlling that you can’t have friends. It is easier to abuse a person when they are alone. When they don’t have people that love them pointing out that they shouldn’t be treated the way their abuser is treating them. There is method to his madness honey. Get out while you can.
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He wants to do what he wants and wants you to do as your told sounds like!!! He’s not worth cutting your whole world out to please him!!!
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You are in the right! He needs to get over himself and let’s not forgot he cheated on you. Even if he does like you, he hadn’t acted on it in all these years and has proven to be trustworthy
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The accuser is the one who is doing the cheating so he might have been the entire time. He sounds like a douche and you sound like you need your friend so I’d pick the friend. Good luck.
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Nope! Clearly your friend is true and loyal…boyfriend is not
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You good. He wants to isolate you
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I’m afraid the social isolation abuse that he has subjected you to is a very serious thing and is the tip of his messed up iceberg, regardless of what you decide about him do not let him subject you to that manipulative abuse
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My ex husband was like this, meanwhile he was cheating. If your friend is still willing to be friends after all that he’s the one worth keeping. You’re boyfriend is projecting because he’s the cheater that doesn’t want to get cheated on. Mark my words he won’t stop cheating either.
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Do not cut your friendship with your best friend!! He was there way before you met your boyfriend so trust me as you know if you wanted to hook up with your best friend you had many years before you met the guy your with now you didn’t need to wait till you were in a relationship to get with your best friend!!! You’re not an asshole but you will be if you cut ties with your friend over someone who had a whole separate relationship behind your back! Don’t let him play you!! He’s trying to make you lose focus of what the real issue is here! It’s HIM and his cheating!!!
Sorry but what he’s doing isn’t ok and your friend deserves better as well as you!
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