My boyfriend of 10 months will leave and sometimes not come back all night or be gone for days. He’s always saying he’s working on our other house but when I go there barley any progress is made or he’s just there hanging out with his buddies, drinking. Sometimes I can’t get ahold of him at all. Sometimes he says he just wants to go out and have fun. I’m 8 months pregnant and have two kids already. When we got together I was straight up with him on what I will and will NOT tolerate. Our relationship was amazing at first and now it’s come down to me being home all day and night alone, with no calls or texts. And I’m quite sick of being alone. When he does come home, he gets up early and just leaves without telling me what he’s doing or how long he’s going to be gone, he refuses to fix my vehicle and tells me I need to let him have fun because that just ‘who he is.’ But an invite would be nice every once in a while. I’m talked to him about this calmly and also not so calmly, neither has worked. It’s getting old and exhausting. Especially after I sold my house and moved in the middle of no where in his house. I want to pack my kids and their things and leave so badly but once I think about it, I don’t want to over react. At this point I think I have a right to be mad. Because I don’t want it to be like this when the new baby comes. I don’t have time to worry about where he’s at or what he’s doing because I have kids to take care of.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting or do I seriously have a reason for being mad?
Sounds like he might be fooling around with someone
You got pregnant too fast. Y’all only was in relationship for two months before you got pregnant. You really just starting to learn him while your pregnant
He doesn’t sound ready to settle down. I hope you still have that money from the house you sold.
Honestly sounds like he is cheating i wouldn’t put up with that. I’d tell him if he doesn’t change then he can pack his stuff and leave. Ur close to ur due date and have 2 other kids he needs to step up and start acting like a father and boyfriend.
Not overreacting. Just leave
Well sounds like he ain worried about you or the kids. Just pack up & go, see how long it takes him to notice.
You have every right to be mad. You obviously got with a man who isn’t done being a child himself. Leave, he ain’t ready to grow up. Your pretty much a single mom already so why don’t you just go ahead and live that life by yourself or find a family committed man
Cut your losses now I’d say
Oof. Sounds like hes not ready for a commitment or to be a father/step father. All take time and effort.
You deserve better. I dont want to say hes doing XYZ because noone knows that for sure. And I don’t want to plant that seed. Maybe tell him he either sorts himself out and is there for you or he leaves. Xxxx
He sounds really immature. I would leave
You see the writing on the wall already and I think you’re hoping to hear that you should stay and he will change etc. If he’s doing this at 10 months into the relationship and refuses to change don’t expect him to change 5 or 10 years from now. So accept that this is who he is and this is what your life with him will be like and don’t complain about it or get out now.
Run as fast as you can
You got pregnant too soon and you made a big mistake selling your house. He is definitely with someone else and you already know what you want and what your looking for I think is time you pack buy a knew house and move on with your kids you deserve better it’s 2021 girl what he won’t do the next guy will. Go find someone that deserves you cause it sure ain’t him.
Leave. You are not overreacting. He’s being a disrespectful douchebag. Better to do it now versus the kids having to witness later on how shitty he is.
Leave. He is up to no good, likely cheating.
Stop being a door mat…this man only loves himself.
Get rid of him and give your self chance to meet a real man who will love and take care of you and your brood.
And now your tolerating this bs so you have lowered your standards and because you let him het away with it he will continue to do it
You told him what you won’t tolerate and I’m assuming it’s this so he already knows. Sounds like he wants the single life with no responsibility. Letting him have fun because that’s who he is isn’t going to work with kids and a family. If that’s the way he wants it then give it to him and leave and find someone else.
You’re not overreacting! Follow your intuition and leave. You don’t need him.
Probably getting a Leg over with his Mates
He’s done and you should be too
You’re eight months pregnant and you guys have been together for ten months…
You have your children and your teenager, there’s that. Like it or leave it! Not being mean, just honest
Anyone else doing the math in their head? They’ve only been together 10 months… But have 2 kids and one on the way? I hate to assume they did the Brady bunch thing but without clarification this situation seems impossible.
I’m not gonna be one on here talking about “you were only with him 2 months when you got pregnant” or “it’s only been 10 months” blah blah blah. I married my husband after 2 months of dating… with that being said, leave him! He has apparently told you that he just wants to have fun. That’s not a man that I would be worried about building a life with. You are already doing it all on your own, you might as well be on your own! You and those kids deserve better.
He’s cheating or on drugs. A man that loves you, will be there
He just wants to drink and have fun. He has no want to be in your life.
You made your expectations clear from the start, you have tried to communicate, and his words and actions prove he doesn’t care… Pack and leave. You kids don’t need to grow up thinking that kind of behavior is acceptable and you deserve to be respected
Honestly… it sounds like he couldn’t care about you or the babies. Time to do what you got to do. You got this boo!
I’d take my stuff and leave. I went through this and then he became abusive. Just leave , it will suck but you will be so much happier. I stayed way too long. But I’m happy now I have my own car finished my army career have a couple degrees . You will be ok momma.
You told him your boundaries initially and hes broken them and you allow it so seems like hes got a free reign to behave as he likes. You deserve better
He has u right where he wants u by the sounds of it!!! Darling pack ur things, get ur kids together n get out!! Please red flags red flags
Bye boy…… he’s just not that into you.
Please don’t let this guy keep walking all over you and your children.
It’s time for you to leave. You shouldn’t have to keep repeating yourself. At that point he doesn’t care & he’s going to do as he pleases. You & your children come first & thats not how your kids should be shown to treats their significant other
Welp, I hope the other kids aren’t his , Bc if they did and you chose to keep having kids with this man then that’s on you. Set boundaries and stick to them. If he can’t respect that then leave
That’s a big red flag
His cheating or drugs maybe both 🙆😭
Pack ur shit girl, u think it’s gonna be different when the baby comes? Ur 100% wrong hes gonna dip
Leave his damn fool azz
Time to leave it doesn’t get better just worse
You moved way to quick with this guy… only 10 months and you sold your house and moved your kids in with him… this is still supposed to be the honeymoon stage… he ain’t gonna get any better
I believe you answered your own question.
Its time to leave
And be with ur own happiness
Create a happy home for u and ur kids
Know your worth honey. Your heart knows this is wrong, follow that instinct. You’re not overreacting. He’s being selfish. That’s not a man.
10 months & you’re pregnant? You should have got to know him better first
I feel like he may be an addict
He’s on drugs girl. Run
I knew someone exactly like this… He is now my ex!!!
So I think getting a break is fine. But you also have to get a break for every break he gets. If he wants a night out with his friends, you get a night out with your friends. That’s what me and my husband did in marriage counseling. But it was also one night of break per week, not every other night. If he can’t commit and says you need to let him do what he wants then leave.
He is living like he is single. So let him be single. You need to move on.
Wait… you’ve been with him for 10 months, you’re 8 months pregnant making that 2 months in this relationship before that, and you already sold the house you owned and packed up your kids and moved in with this boyfriend??? You have set yourself up for a huge failure here. Sorry to sound rude, but you barely know him at all.
If he is 25 his frontal lobe is developed. He isn’t going to change
I’m so sorry. Once you have this baby you will have 4 kids now
Girl he is literally like begging you to leave him lol. Leave. Also, the beginning of your relationship wasn’t good… this is the beginning y’all just got together 10 months ago lol.
he has no respect for you or he would tell you hes leaving or where hes going, it wont get better .
Yeah, thats a big ol red flag. Could very easily be drugs, or something else.
I think you were put in a situation and you did the best you could to make it work. You gave it a shot, with that peace walk away. Cut your losses while you’re still ahead. I know it doesn’t feel like it but you are. You and your kids got each other. Believe that if nothing else.
First off, why would you sell your house and move you and your kids in with someone you barely know well enough ? I don’t think you thought this out very well. It sounds like he is taking advantage of the fact you are pregnant and have kids to take care of. He can go do whatever he wants and you can’t stop him, because he won’t even fix your car. He is not ready to quit being a little boy. You have more important people to worry about. THOSE KIDS COME FIRST !!! I hope you make the right choice and leave.
If he’s acting like this after only 10 months and especially with you being 8 months pregnant girl pack your stuff and get out he definitely has no respect for you your kids or his child on the way and believe me it’s going to get way worse for you
Girl run he is up to no good
He either has another girl or he’s on drugs. Take your kids and leave
What you see is what you get. Believe him when he shows you who he is. Get out NOW
You went back on what you would or wouldn’t tolerate so he thinks he’s home free. NEVER DO THAT
Good luck. They don’t change unless they want too.
If you were a priority, he would treat you like one. Your gut instinct is to leave and you’re choosing to ignore the red flags. I’ve done it myself. Your choice is to leave or accept his behavior as is.
You can re read it and then you can pick your own answer… my Goodness I’m a Grandma and Id yank you up outta there
If he’s not there now he won’t be there then
People treat you the way you allow them to treat you.
Time to go! If you have any respect for your self and your children its time to go! Pull your shit together get your car fixed get your own place and GO
He is showing you who he really is. Read him as he is and make a choice. Choose to leave and live a peaceful life or choose to stay and this be the rest of your life, wondering, waiting, worrying! This is no way to live or for your children to endure.
Girl, from my past experience he’s cheating or getting high.
Kick him out, he isn’t worth 8t.
If anything don’t get mad get glad heard the glad bag stretches
Obviously he’s a scumbag.
I would pack up you and the kids and live someplace else. Seems like he isn’t going to change.
Sis, you already know what to do. You just have to make that decision! Good luck!!
Ditch him. That’s bullshit, you dont disappear on your partner and ignore calls for days… he’s probably got a side piece and has checked out of that relationship…
One of those whole “ got my cake and eating it too” scenarios.
RED FLAG MY FRIEND!!! no man or woman should ever go out and not come home! Unless it’s a planned thing , my exe did that to me one time! HENCE EXE!! the no answering the phone , texts!!! UHUH NOPE!!! BUHBYE TOODALOO!!!
If he’s unwilling to change or fix the issues you need to leave! You have to do what’s best for you and your kids! This guy seems like a bum and an alcoholic! Once you have the baby it’s going to be worse because he’s going to run from that commitment and work as a parent because he seems like he doesn’t want any responsibility at all!! Do yourself a favor and break free from this turmoil and toxic relationship!
When somebody shows you who they really are BELIEVE THEM. I hate this has happened to you but it’s best you leave NOW BEFORE the baby is born!!
You’re 8 months pregnant and have only been with him for 10 months? Just leave. Hes cheating and/or doesn’t care about you. He’s not going to change. Good luck.
You have two kids already, one on the way and he won’t fix your vehicle so you can get somewhere if you need too, I’m hoping that when you sold your house you didn’t put the money towards his house. He has no respect for you, your more like roommates. Take them babies of yours and run don’t walk away, you deserve better!
Surprise, Surprise, I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut this time…and that doesn’t happen often…
Needs to have his fun,ask him when is it your time to have fun
If you can, leave. If he isn’t there now he won’t be there when the baby comes. Do what is best for yourself and your babies. If you can’t leave, try to save money if possible and seek any resources that may be available for you to prepare to leave when you’re ready.
Get your car fixed immediately! Then make a plan!
Think he’s gone now wait till that baby comes.
Find you a man that WANTS to be with you and your kids
It sounds like he’s not happy. I won’t go to the assumption of cheating, because sometimes if someone’s not happy they just put tons of space daily between you, sometimes they do cheat.
I’d set him down and tell him this isn’t just “who he is” anymore. He should be a father, and boyfriend first but he’s putting his fun first. If he’s not happy to tell you right then and there, because that’s what it seems to me. What you accept will continue.
Sounds like he love bombed you to get you and now you’re seeing his true colours. Get out before it’s too late gurl. Is only been 10months and is going to get a 100000000x worse the longer you stay
I’m not trying to be ugly but are yall together because you got pregnant?
I am so sorry for your situation but you must leave. Find all the support you can from family and friends and social agencies and support groups. If you have to go to a single moms shelter. Don’t look back. I am so happy for you that physical abuse is not an issue, you just need to find love, affection and companionship. Compared to many you are in a pretty good place.
I’d tell him if he doesn’t start being there for you, the kids and baby you’re going to leave. Provide a time frame. Tell him no staying out all night and if he wants a guy’s night yall can agree on that and it will not be every night. He’s a family man now, so he can change or you need to leave. But definitely be straight forward with him, set a date (these should be easy fixes, so im talking like a week at most) and stick to your guns. This will give him a few days to make his choice, once he does you’ll have your answer. He’ll either do what you’ve asked and expect of him or you’ll move. It’s really that simple.
Dump him. He has a side chick or two.
I was in a relationship like that before and best decision was to leave I was being cheated on and never wanted to just hang out with me friends always had to be around or he had to be with them
You’re not overeating, leave!
He’s a loser. Leave and never look back.