Am I overreacting?

Where is ur partner in all this?

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No your not. Start setting your boundaries and his toxic family I would do little to no contact with them. You need to stand your ground

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Speak up EVERY SINGLE TIME they disrespect you like that. If you let it happen in silence, it will only get worse. Who cares if they think you’re overreacting? They only say that to justify their disrespect. Nip it in the bud. Tell your partner you’re disappointed in him for not sticking up for you

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My family often says things like this, but it is meant to be lighthearted. If you told them it was hurting you and they keep doing it, then they really are being the jerks in this scenario. Not overreacting at all. They should be considerate of your feelings. :heart:

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I don’t think you are overreacting. The things they’re saying are very hurtful. When you express how you feel to them say the words “i feel” or “you make me feel like ___ when you say things like that”. People can’t tell you how to feel about something because they’re your feelings. I don’t know how your partner feels about the situation but to some extent he should be defending you. Especially since this is his family, he should understand you feel this way and he should be able to communicate to his family that it isn’t okay. If he is encouraging it then that’s not right either and that’s another conversation you guys should have. I hope you’re able to get the respect you deserve as a mother and as a member of your partner’s family.

No ur not! The surrogated children i had, Their father tried to kill me and his unborn child by crashing on purpose on a straight road, he then put a firearm (unloaded) to thats child head at 12months. He has full custody and plays god with the children who have many mothers till he makes a mrs and has her adopt them, innocent children only know his ways and unfortunately trapped in his toxic lifestyle court battle he just didn’t turn up for supervised visits and its been 2years. It is what it is or more what he made it, i wont be a pawn in his game anymore and im content with being a surrogate, my purpose was to provide unconditional love to someone whos never had it. Lifes a gift my purpose was to gift it too others!

Talk to your husband about it. You might want to think about moving Away from the family. Is probably the only thing that will work. To wear you will only hear it once in awhile instead of all the time.You and your family will be a lot happier :heart:

I tried to get through this but punctuation (periods) go a LONG way. But from what I gather, it sounds like you need to set some healthy boundaries and dont be afraid to stand up for yourself when necessary!

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I have nothing to do with my husbands family and I been with him 17 years. I WISH his sister had the balls to say something to me. Cut them off completely!

Holy run on sentence Batman!!

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Does partner mean husband?
I don’t understand their terminology… they prob don’t respect you cause your not his wife. People want wife status without the commitment… a lot of people don’t think you will be around so show no respect… I think you are being a little sensitive this is a common joke In Families.

Your husband should step up and let them know that this is unacceptable. I had similar problems with my husband’s sister, and he took care of it. They have to understand this type of behavior is something you both won’t put up with.

I would just say yes my babies are awesome and I am so blessed God chose me to be thier mommy , and you are so blessed to be thier aunt . Smile and know its true God chose you so you dont need thier approval or opinion. Give them a little grace and take the high road .

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That is one very long run on sentence.

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I don’t understand, this was hard to read. Is the other family talking about kidnapping and claiming your daughter as theirs??

Don’t let them see your kids that’s toxic as hell

Longest sentence in history :rofl:

This was quite difficult to read. But I would just ignore it. My partners family has never said my child looks like me they’ve always compared everything to my child’s father or that part of the family and at first it hurt my feelings but at the end of the day it really shouldn’t be a big deal. Lighten up a little. Its normal for relatives to mainly see only a resemblance to their side of the family when a new baby comes. Maybe your hormones have something to do with this. I’m pregnant too and I can be sensetive from the hormones. It will be okay. :heart:

Seems like you’re overreacting. Practically every family will say the child resembles this side of thr family or this person in the family. Make a joke out of it. It’s really not serious and it definitely doesn’t seem to be malicious toward you. Ultimately, you’re entitled to your opinion and if it bothers you that much, speak up but quite frankly I think your overreacting.

Set your boundaries and your hubby needs to back you in that. If you feel disrespected talk to hubby first then move on to the rest of the family set boundaries and stand firm on them.
Next time they say something that bothers you
Say something like
I don’t appreciate that comment. Please be more respectful.
If they mean no harm it will be clarified right then and there. If they mean harm you will get attitude.
Just make sure hubby backs you to his family.

However I don’t think they mean it in the way you think they do.
You can simply just ask them… and see what they say…

Honestly Stand Your Ground Hun.

If there Disrespecting you in your home tell them it’s not on and to leave.

If there Disrespecting you in there own home warn them they won’t get to see there grandchildren/Nieces and leave.

Sit down with your partner Tell him how they make you feel.
Make sure you are on the same page and make Boundaries. Because it is total Disrespect coming from them.

My oldest daughter looks more like my younger sisters kid or my sister inlaws daughter and everyone always says it. At first it used to upset me a bit but now I just laught it off or make a joke about it. I think because you have other issues with the family you’re letting every little thing bother you.

Maybe if you tried using punctuation??
I’ve never encountered a longer run-on sentence.
And yes, you are overreacting.

I’m totally confused as to whose mother is who ??

Healthy boundaries and stand up for yourself. Ignore them the best that you can. I dealt with this same issue as a Dad with my ex wife’s family. Now they have a hard time connecting with my children due to such actions. Time heals

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting? - Mamas Uncut

Not at all. What he’s doing isn’t ok. And trying to guilt you for expressing your feelings and needs us really messed up. He’s being selfish af.

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Get a toy start using it a bedtime for yourself I bet he changes his way real quick

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But he IS being a bad husband. You’ve expressed your feelings about porn and he gaslit you to feel bad about it. Sounds like he might have a p*rn addiction.

That sounds like a therapy issue. Porn addiction desensitizes men to the physical needs of their partner because they can satisfy themselves to other women in seconds.
Get a toy and start playing porn videos randomly.

I think some men just get freaked out that they could hurt the baby or the baby could feel his dick touching the baby’s head so that might be turning him I don’t think you are turning him off but I think he is overthinking that the baby is in your belly and baby might feel everything and that’s why he is leaning more to porn maybe reassure him that no harm will come to the baby and that the baby can’t feel his dick going in you and you guys might get back on track with your sex life. If not pleasure yourself girl❤️

Talk to him about why you’re not having sex. He might be afraid of hurting you or the baby.

Some guys are weird about sex with pregnant woman. It weirds my husband out. He has been a little better this pregnancy but our sex life kinda goes away.

You’re not overreacting and especially the fact that you expressed it bothered you and that didn’t change anything isn’t right.

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You are not overreacting if its how you feel. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. I don’t have any advice, but please don’t let him or anyone make make your feelings seem invalid. Its unfair and will definitely continue once he sees he can. Hopefully you guys can figure things out.

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Buy yourself a battery operated boyfriend and take care of business solo.

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Men are replaceable. Yell him to step up or step out period. Shove that phone up his you know what. Maybe put men on your phone see how he likes it. If I need take care of my own needs then the relationship is done period.

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Tit for tat get a toy watch your own porn. If he won’t let you he apart of his self pleasing then he sure as heck doesn’t need to be apart of yours.

I feel as though this would be normal

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Your boundaries are your boundaries. If he’s using a flat screen more than he is touching you, it’s a big problem—and could lead to worse things.

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It could be a pregnancy thing. Seriously. It doesn’t make it right but you also have to be considerate of his feelings too. My man used to tell me how he always fantasized about being with a pregnant woman until I actually got pregnant then as I started to get visibly pregnant (around four months as she was my third baby, first with him) he didn’t want to do it as much. When asked why he told me simply he didn’t want to hurt the baby and he could tell certain positions I liked were uncomfortable for me and he didn’t want me to be in anymore pain than I was.

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Nah. You’re not overreacting.

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Maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable having sex while your pregnant.

Nope, not overreacting. He needs to have a honest conversation with you about what’s going on in his head. He could be worried about the baby etc but you’ve told him that the lack of sex and the uptick in porn is bothering you and he continues anyway. That is a man who doesn’t respect you. You should be able to say, “Hey this bothers me,” and him stop doing whatever he’s doing. And the same goes the other way around. He should be able to do the same. The fact that he completely brushed off your needs and feelings is disrespectful af. Once a man would rather watch porn than have actual sex, you’re stepping into porn addiction territory. Time to have a conversation. No accusing, no shaming, just a conversation. Ask him what’s going on in his head. Don’t lead him either. Let him be honest and come up with his own answers.

Nope. Just went through this shit. Eventually, it will lead to more. If you told him how it makes you feel and he still chooses to do it, he doesn’t care about you.

Have him watch John Doyle on YouTube he has a few videos about how porn is destroying men and actually rewiring their brains. Here is a link to one of the videos How Porn Is Destroying You and Our Country - YouTube

Not wrong. He needs to get his priorities straight. Many people enjoy porn casually and it sounds like you don’t mind him doing so. But using g porn to replace intimacy with his wife is not normal or healthy at all. You’ve told him how you feel and he isn’t respecting you. At this point I would insist on couples counseling to find out exactly why he has changed his behavior recently and to get through to him that it isn’t acceptable to gaslight you and disregard your feelings.

Porn is a form of cheating, especially if you aren’t okay with it. The guy is getting off to other women instead of his wife. Yes, something is wrong with that. You aren’t the problem. Some guys truly struggle with porn. That may or not be the case but yes, it’s definitely a form of cheating.

Porn addiction is a real thing.

John Updike, the famous author, infamously wrote “A man gets his first mistress when his wife gets pregnant”. I believe John.

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Women watch some porn and shhhhh lol relax hunny

I’m in the same boat with you. Except my husband said that having sex while I was pregnant freaked him out. I’m 6 months as well. We haven’t had sex in about 2 months. I was very upset at first but I asked about it on here and was attacked for not respecting his feelings. :woman_shrugging: So I just pretty much gave up. I just take care of things myself if the time comes. I’m sorry I don’t have any advice but wanted you to know you aren’t alone.

It’s so weird that people don’t see this as messed up. Definitely over reacting. Some men don’t feel comfortable having sex while their partner is pregnant. That’s totally okay, you have your boundaries but he also has his. Maybe you should follow his lead and meet your own needs by yourself. You want to guilt trip him into having more sex with you and that’s messed tf up. If roles were reversed everyone would say that’s not okay.

If it’s only been since you have been pregnant… some men feel strange about it with the baby especially if your pretty far along… Don’t over think something that may not even be…men an woman are very different creatures…

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Do not let it bother you. You have enough to worry about being pregnant. It will work itself out

I get where ur coming from. And its maybe not that he isn’t turned on by u. Have u asked him why there s reduced sex between u…? Sometimes jt can be hard/backward/uncomfortable for them with u beibg pregnant… My ex BIL his wife was pregnant 4x and as she got further a long their activity decreased…he was co cerned about hurting her an the baby the first few tines around then it also dawned on him he said that (his words not mine l ok) that where he sticks it in is by the babies face an he flipped out. My ex husband as I got further along was worried it would induce labor an I had specialists as I was high risk so Drs were 3hrs away. Watch the porn with him. I didnt care my part we watched it but one day I eas mad avout something else so I suggested his favorite porn and sat the whole time picking on it. Fake noises the size the mans junk and lol ruined it for him.

I get so sad seeing questions like this bc nobody else should be defining what’s “okay” in your relationship. If it bothers you, it bothers you! You don’t need validation or justification from others to see if it’s “normal” that something bothers you. What one person considers cheating isn’t always going to be what someone else considers cheating but if it’s bothering you and your husband doesn’t care, then maybe it’s time to definitely have a real sit down and get to the root of the problem.

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I feel it very unfair for 1 partner to try and negate the feelings of the other partner. I don’t blame you at all for how you feel… it’s terrible when 1 partner is so disrespectful…

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If he isn’t up for sex with you right now that’s his choice, maybe he’s using the porn to try and get into the mood? If you have needs meet them yourself, forcing him into sleeping with you via guilt trip is fucked up.

Some men just feel weird about having sex during pregnancy. If he is a good husband let it go pleasure yourself. He isn’t cheating he isn’t hiding it .

No. Your not overreacting.

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I agree, watching porn occasionally is one thing while saving the videos (especially excessively) is an issue. I’m also 6 months pregnant and my sex life has decreased to about once a week as well (although that’s more my idea because it’s just uncomfortable) but my husband has went out of his way to make sure if I want physical attention, I get it. That’s the way it should be when your wife is pregnant… honestly, actively lusting after other women while leaving you unsatisfied is close enough to cheating. Not to mention simply disrespectful!

Porn is a problem when he chooses it over his real wife!

It would bother me too
So no you’re not overreacting!!!

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It’s a fine line with that stuff. And it creates unrealistic expectations of what sex should be like. If he not sleeping with you, but he’s watching that stuff, it’s becoming a problem.

porn doesn’t bother me at all :woman_shrugging:t3: and honestly some men are just uncomfortable having sex with their pregnant wife, lol I know mine was all for me until I was really big and honestly at that point I didn’t even care because my tummy just got in the fricken way or baby girl would kick and ruin the mood :rofl:
I suggest watching it with him or honestly go to marriage counseling idk
everyone has their own opinion on porn and on my end I see no issue whatsoever, cause trust me your man wouldn’t stand a chance with a pornstar :rofl:

Dankie tog jou man was daar…swak van die ouer…maar nou ja…

Get yourself a bomb toy and download some porn of your own .

Honestly it’s kinda normal for most men to not be into having sex with a pregnant woman after a certain period . But if your needs arnt being met get a dildo wait for him to get home and show him what he’s missing… it sounds like you are being a bit controlling. Have you watched porn at all. Maybe ask if you guys can watch it together.

It’s pregnancy hormones, he isn’t out cheating! A lot of men don’t like having sex once you are so long in pregnancy it’s hard for them to focus instead of wondering if they are hurting you or the baby. Try watching porn and letting him walk into you pleasing yourself he should forget everything atm and come join you. But y’all do have sex still so he is trying but it’s harder on a man he’s probably just worried and your pregnancy hormones are making you feel a lot worse about it all sweetie

No you are not overreacting at all!

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No pregnant or not you’re allowed to have feelings especially if you’re uncomfortable with it, sex is very intimate & people take it more personal than others, as a husband he should make sacrifices to keep you happy & vice versa. Maybe watch it together to spice things up but definitely not save them.

Maybe his uncomfortable having sex while your pregnant I no some men get funny about it…

Talk to him again about your sexual needs. If nothing changes, start to masturbate in front of him. Maybe that’ll turn him on🤷🏽‍♀️

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Some men are just funny about sex while pregnant, they think it might hurt the baby or are just plain uncomfortable about it.

I can’t stand being touched while pregnant, let alone having sex. But that doesn’t mean I would see them any less attractive, it’s just the way I feel and that’s okay. :blush:

I would be heartbroken

People saying let it go and it’s no big deal :roll_eyes: If it matters to you than its important.Womens sexual needs are just as important as men’s and its bull for him to ignore you while he downloads porn.If you were refusing to be intimate with him but watching porn and flicking your bean im sure he would feel hurt and wondering whats wrong with him that you don’t want to be intimate.If he is worried about hurting the baby or you tell him not to flatter himself.

That’s the thing with relationships. What I may think is cheating, you may not think it is. Vise versa. He should respect your feelings enough to fix the issue. Not make YOU feel in the wrong. All of our dynamics are different. But respect and understanding is FIRST.

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If porn doesn’t bother you, watch it with him. That may help your sex life.

Porn is as addictive as Heroin and an addiction that is very very hard to kick.

I would be concerned if I were you.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting? - Mamas Uncut

Maybe think about why it bothers you so much and discuss that with him. Also ask him what he is getting from watching it/why he feels the need to watch it. Communication is key here.

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Masturbating is normal. It has nothing to do with you. Touching yourself feels good and porn helps with that. I use it myself because I can’t seem to stay focused during my private time. I love my husband. It has nothing to do with him.

I personally think there’s nothing wrong with watching porn.

But if you have issues with it you need to express that with your partner

You have made him aware that this is a boundary for you many times and he continues to cross it while telling you that you are wrong for setting boundaries. Leave. At this point his lack of respect is clear.

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The fact that he knows it hurts you and does it anyway throughout the years, regardless of what it is, shows you how he feels about you. There’s a lack of respect on his end. If you feel this is something that can be fixed through communication or even therapy, suggest it. Otherwise, you need to make a decision whether to continue to put up with the disrespect or leave and heal.

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If he knows how you feel about it and does it anyway he doesn’t respect you.

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Some people are okay with it, some aren’t. I know that with my first husband I wasn’t okay with it because he was a cheater and I was young and insecure.
Now that I’m older, my now husband and I don’t have a need for it, but if we did I probably wouldn’t feel like I did back then.
If that is a problem within your marriage, there needs to be a serious talk between you two.

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It’s an addiction like a lot of things are. Live with it or leave. I’ve dealt with it before, and they’ll never change. They don’t even feel bad. Sorry to be blunt, but honestly they need help to stop.

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Y’all need marriage counseling ASAP . Find one who can deal
With his specific addiction . I believe it can help !

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It’s an addiction for some, has he had counseling? Get him a phone without internet access.

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It’s porn… Ffs. Get over it. He’s married to you not them. Who cares if he looks at it. Insecure much? :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

Seriously it’s porn. Why does it hurt you? Why make him feel bad for it. There is nothing wrong with it.

Porn can be a big problem in most relationships.
Have you thought of seeking help? There is a thing called “porn addiction” it sounds like he has it.
If you love him and he loves you than use can look at this type of help, together.
You’ve tried talking and setting boundaries and that isn’t working, you obviously don’t want to leave because you love him. The only option now is to seek some professional help and he can get help with it.

There is a lot of online counsellors who would help with this. It’s an addiction and anyone who has had addiction will know how hard it can be to stop.
It’s all about will power and telling the mind, NO.
If this is the only problem use have in this marriage than fight for it and not just end it. If you have gotten help and he still continues than he doesn’t want to be helped and maybe it’s time to than walk away.

Good luck! I hope it goes well for you and you get the outcome you are so desperately seeking from him :pray:t4::heart:

You’ve been married 24 years and are worried about him getting visual stimulation from other naked women… that he will never see or touch in person… sounds like a you problem tbh . Sounds like a major insecurity problem of yours … and again 24 years 24 and this this is your big issue??? Consider yourself blessed

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This is probably the unpopular opinion but, Yes. I can’t imagine telling any adult they can’t watch something. Imagine men telling women they can’t read romance novels or watch shows like Bridgerton. Everybody looooooves that crap. To most guys its basically the same thing. That’s probably why he’s blowing you off about it.

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You’ve been together for 24 years. You’ve known about his addiction and argued repeatedly over the years to no avail. Either accept that he’s not going to change and learn to live with it, or leave. You have to decide what’s more important to you- winning the argument or being with him. Obviously, he has no intention of changing.

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Not gonna stop because he has no repercussions.

That’s an actual addiction and sexual addictions are typically an every day thing. How ever, did you talk about what was cheating before you were married? Cause honestly that is a valid reason to leave some one. But if they wanna change there are programs you can use with out going to outside help.

But also there’s Jesus :sweat_smile: he delivers.

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It’s a generational curse
Addiction to porn
He has to be willing to change and pray putting ur marriage and respect for you first.
Until then he will continue with this habit. Until there is serious consequences he will continue and it’s up to you weather you can deal with it. Follow pastor mike Signorelli on fb with guidance on how to break generational curses