I see a lot of comments saying they are joking around. I think it’s weird and honestly kind of creepy.
They don’t know what your family looked like growing up therefore they can’t say they look like your family. Sounds like they’re joking. If it makes you uncomfortable tell them be straightforward. If it’s such a big problem remove yourself and the kids from the situation
This is normal
If his family say
Your kids look like someone on his side
At least no dna is needed 
My both kids look like my side of family
But my oldest one has dad Behaver
People always say my daughter looks like my son and if they don’t know me they ask him when did he have a kid. I laugh, bc I think it’s funny and they have a really close bond. However; your story is a little different and I’d probably be a little upset too.
I feel like this is a cultural thing. But don’t want to assume your cultural back ground or that you are both from different backgrounds. Personally, I think your husband should speak up, but 3 kids in, take up for yourself and stop being passive. When they say your kid looks like the aunt and blah, blah, blah. Say something outlandish. Like… do you all realize how incestuous you sound saying stuff like that? That’s your nephews child and you want to act like you could be the mom? Gross. Be sarcastic back. Say things “jokingly” but real. Stop being afraid of them. What are they gonna do? Dislike you more? Not invite you? It definitely should be a conversation with your husband, as in, you need to step in or I’m gonna start speaking up and I already know they are not gonna like it. Let him choose how he wants to damage control. LoL.
No punctuation, tldr. If you feel disrespected by his family, don’t spend time with them. Problem solved.
Get DNA test and prove they are yours. If they don’t straighten up remove them from your life.
Oh my head hurts from attempting to read this.
Cat got your tongue? Speak up!!!
The sister sounds super weird… 
Stop worrying about what people say cause somebody’s always got something to say ignore it stop wasting good energy on ugly people
I have a toxic mother n law and sister in law… Fuck em 
We don’t talk to them now.
Girlllll cuss them out 
all families joke like that if you don’t like it speak up 
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Hard to read but speak up and say she’s my daughter enough of the garbage already!
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You are not over reacting. I have been through that and trust me it only gets worse. They need to be cut out completely and he needs to back you up on it. It you need to leave. Going through that myself and them getting even worse as time went on they did much mental damage to me. I wish I hadn’t waited until after 3 children to leave.
That is absolutely emotional/verbal abuse. It’s used to manipulate and control you. Get out!
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Sounds like a toxic disgusting family. my dad’s of side the family did that about my uncle his brother but it was said only a handful of times throughout my life and they had enough common sense to not say it in front of my dad.
It sucks because yeah of you speak up they’ll get mad at you for being mad so it becomes about you or they’ll tell you your too sensitive. Quit frankly it sounds annoying and disrespectful.
All you can do is go along w it and. And you need to have this conversation w their dad and if he blows you off then that says alot about where you stand. But then again is this the topic you really want to have him call something out on? You should save that for a time you really need him to stand up for you against them otherwise you will look like your the one who has something against his family.
Or some families just don’t get along and you need to distance yourself but still allow your kids to see them w out you if that’s the only problem w them. Stop looking at it as them not liking you and deciding your not very open to the people they are and they just don’t mesh well w you. Their are going to be families that don’t go well together but you certainly don’t stop the children from seeing them. Now if they don’t include the kids them that’s on them and if when your kids are included their is bad mouthing of you other than who the kids look like then yes something needs done.
Your husband needs to put his foot down and deal with his family. If he won’t then throw the whole man and his family away sis. Fuck them. They’re hateful and jealous that you won’t just bend over and kiss their ass while they talk about you like you’re nothing.
I feel like they are taking it too far. Yeah maybe it’s not the worst thing that could happen, but it makes you uncomfortable. That’s all that matters. They should respect you and how you feel and not say hurtful stuff to and about you and your kids. And your man should back you up and it sounds like hes not?
They obviously know your the mom lol. And that would be weird Kuz it would make it your mans and his sister kid.
So next time she says it just say something alone the lines of “you sleep with your brother?” I’m sure it will stop after that
This isn’t a big deal to me and I don’t understand why mom’s get so upset over this kind of thing. My husband’s family talks about how much our kids look like their dad even tho they look more like me lol and it’s never gotten under my skin. Maybe they see the dad in the kids more because they know him better then they know you. I also have family call my kids their babies and that doesn’t bother me either. Clearly they are my kids and everyone knows it but I take it as a term of Endearment. I’m sorry but it seems the younger moms are the ones with a problem with this kind of thing and it’s just childish to me. Pick your battles with your inlaws.
Snap at them. That’s how I get my point across. They dont care then they can stay away from your kids. My better half is german and im mexican. The way she was going to look was in everyone’s mind. If she came out blue eyes blonde hair, my family would for sure call me her nanny. Luckily she looks like the both of us.
You’re not overreacting. It happened the same to me. So I stopped going to their homes. It had always hurt my relationship. Until I ended my relationship. Now I spend Christmas and other holidays home alone. But nobody hurt my feelings anymore.
Who the fuck says someone else’s child is theirs that’s so weird
It will serve you better to just ignore it. They don’t sound like the type of people that will care or have the intellect or capacity to. Just take your chances to rub in that they are all yours.
I say my nieces are my babies so I don’t see nothing wrong with it
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Over reacting. I get told alllllll the damn time I am my aunts daughter. Nothing mean at all by it, that’s just who I take after.
Whoever can decipher this, I commend you.
Your kid looks like your kid
That is YOUR BABY not hers. I’d honestly tell them all to stfu. Are you neglecting them for these a-holes to think they got a right to talk like this? Tell her to go make her own babies because you are the mother to yours, they came out of your body. That’s all your blood sweat and tears. FU(K THEM!
Id just say aww do u think? I think shes way prettier, she looks like my great gran
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If you get along with then amend they are saying it as a joke I would ignore it.
-my son looks just like my little sister, I tell her that’s her kid and she can take him and she says he’s hers too. Same with my oldest daughter- she will say they are both hers. I don’t mind it. She buys them gifts and sees them more then their actual fathers so like 
But if you let them know it bothers you and they continue and treat you bad then no, not over reacting. Talk to your husband. I wouldn’t wanna bring the kids around them if they are being disrespectful.
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Commas, periods…. Please, use them. 
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General rule is 1 out of every 10 persons is an asshole.
Confusing on the writing. But why are you offended by what they say, to me it sounds like just little family jokes. And they have zero control over when your family sees them. Stand up for yourself if you feel you need to , but seriously, this sounds like grade school 12 year old girl drama.
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Your post went on and on in one sentence. Really couldn’t understand what’s going on… use punctuation, please.
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Don’t let anyone disrespect you or your children, your partner really should be taking care of his family. This is unacceptable. You may need to be thinking of moving along or at least away from his family.
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Sounds like you need to tell your partner how you feel, and present an ultimatum that either they stop or they don’t have access to the kids anymore, because it is obviously a problem for you. That’s just my opinion. And also express to him that they should never say anything like that to your kids especially.
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That’s weird to say kid is the dads sisters child… That’s like implying they made a baby together. Why would they want your child to be the child of the dads sister too… Uhm sounds kind of incest to me to even bring that up constantly… Sounds like they’re being gross
It would be different to say she looks like her aunt because they’re related, duhh but to try and give her your mom title like that is disgusting…
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your partner should be defending you.
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She is writing this to vent and thus the no punctuation. Secondly it seems her partner does not really care or thinks theres nothing to harp on about. I would suggest that she lets them say what they want but talk to the partner about it and as the children grow older let them also know who is who in the family. If possible minimize the time around them. The more you get worked up about it the more it will inspire the badness in them. Ignore. Dont let it get to you.
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I don’t think you’re necessarily overreacting, but I will say my bf mother and the rest of his family say oh they don’t look anything like you to me about our 2 kids they look just like their dad, my family says they don’t look anything like him and just like me. It used to hurt our feelings but even after pointing out the features that resemble the both of us they are still like this. So we let them say whatever and we know different.
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Thats what happens everywhere. The one family side will rekate them to who they look like on their side because they are around them more and vice-versa. My husbands family does that and so does mine. Just look past it. Its not worth it to stress about
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Best thing to do if you want peace of mind: Have serious talk w/ your significant other… then point blank distance/ detatch yourself and kids from all the negative mess. You and your kids do NOT need that. Refuse to be around it. Life too short to keep on dealing with mess like that period. If they don’t like it-- SO WHAT. You and the kids not gonna benefit from staying around that kinda negative mess.
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Don’t go around them until they learn to respect your boundaries. Simple as that. Also, seems like a convo with your partner is in order.
Some comments about a child looking like someone else is sometimes a compliment. Just ignore this nonsense and when she says she could be the childs mother state isn’t she lucky you aren’t
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Punctuation please. Geez, I couldn’t even follow it😟
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Where is ur partner in all this?
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No your not. Start setting your boundaries and his toxic family I would do little to no contact with them. You need to stand your ground
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Speak up EVERY SINGLE TIME they disrespect you like that. If you let it happen in silence, it will only get worse. Who cares if they think you’re overreacting? They only say that to justify their disrespect. Nip it in the bud. Tell your partner you’re disappointed in him for not sticking up for you
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My family often says things like this, but it is meant to be lighthearted. If you told them it was hurting you and they keep doing it, then they really are being the jerks in this scenario. Not overreacting at all. They should be considerate of your feelings. 
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I don’t think you are overreacting. The things they’re saying are very hurtful. When you express how you feel to them say the words “i feel” or “you make me feel like ___ when you say things like that”. People can’t tell you how to feel about something because they’re your feelings. I don’t know how your partner feels about the situation but to some extent he should be defending you. Especially since this is his family, he should understand you feel this way and he should be able to communicate to his family that it isn’t okay. If he is encouraging it then that’s not right either and that’s another conversation you guys should have. I hope you’re able to get the respect you deserve as a mother and as a member of your partner’s family.
No ur not! The surrogated children i had, Their father tried to kill me and his unborn child by crashing on purpose on a straight road, he then put a firearm (unloaded) to thats child head at 12months. He has full custody and plays god with the children who have many mothers till he makes a mrs and has her adopt them, innocent children only know his ways and unfortunately trapped in his toxic lifestyle court battle he just didn’t turn up for supervised visits and its been 2years. It is what it is or more what he made it, i wont be a pawn in his game anymore and im content with being a surrogate, my purpose was to provide unconditional love to someone whos never had it. Lifes a gift my purpose was to gift it too others!
Talk to your husband about it. You might want to think about moving Away from the family. Is probably the only thing that will work. To wear you will only hear it once in awhile instead of all the time.You and your family will be a lot happier
I tried to get through this but punctuation (periods) go a LONG way. But from what I gather, it sounds like you need to set some healthy boundaries and dont be afraid to stand up for yourself when necessary!
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I have nothing to do with my husbands family and I been with him 17 years. I WISH his sister had the balls to say something to me. Cut them off completely!
Holy run on sentence Batman!!
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Does partner mean husband?
I don’t understand their terminology… they prob don’t respect you cause your not his wife. People want wife status without the commitment… a lot of people don’t think you will be around so show no respect… I think you are being a little sensitive this is a common joke In Families.
Your husband should step up and let them know that this is unacceptable. I had similar problems with my husband’s sister, and he took care of it. They have to understand this type of behavior is something you both won’t put up with.
I would just say yes my babies are awesome and I am so blessed God chose me to be thier mommy , and you are so blessed to be thier aunt . Smile and know its true God chose you so you dont need thier approval or opinion. Give them a little grace and take the high road .
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That is one very long run on sentence.
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I don’t understand, this was hard to read. Is the other family talking about kidnapping and claiming your daughter as theirs??
Don’t let them see your kids that’s toxic as hell
Longest sentence in history 
This was quite difficult to read. But I would just ignore it. My partners family has never said my child looks like me they’ve always compared everything to my child’s father or that part of the family and at first it hurt my feelings but at the end of the day it really shouldn’t be a big deal. Lighten up a little. Its normal for relatives to mainly see only a resemblance to their side of the family when a new baby comes. Maybe your hormones have something to do with this. I’m pregnant too and I can be sensetive from the hormones. It will be okay.
Seems like you’re overreacting. Practically every family will say the child resembles this side of thr family or this person in the family. Make a joke out of it. It’s really not serious and it definitely doesn’t seem to be malicious toward you. Ultimately, you’re entitled to your opinion and if it bothers you that much, speak up but quite frankly I think your overreacting.
Set your boundaries and your hubby needs to back you in that. If you feel disrespected talk to hubby first then move on to the rest of the family set boundaries and stand firm on them.
Next time they say something that bothers you
Say something like
I don’t appreciate that comment. Please be more respectful.
If they mean no harm it will be clarified right then and there. If they mean harm you will get attitude.
Just make sure hubby backs you to his family.
However I don’t think they mean it in the way you think they do.
You can simply just ask them… and see what they say…
Honestly Stand Your Ground Hun.
If there Disrespecting you in your home tell them it’s not on and to leave.
If there Disrespecting you in there own home warn them they won’t get to see there grandchildren/Nieces and leave.
Sit down with your partner Tell him how they make you feel.
Make sure you are on the same page and make Boundaries. Because it is total Disrespect coming from them.
My oldest daughter looks more like my younger sisters kid or my sister inlaws daughter and everyone always says it. At first it used to upset me a bit but now I just laught it off or make a joke about it. I think because you have other issues with the family you’re letting every little thing bother you.
Maybe if you tried using punctuation??
I’ve never encountered a longer run-on sentence.
And yes, you are overreacting.
I’m totally confused as to whose mother is who ??
Healthy boundaries and stand up for yourself. Ignore them the best that you can. I dealt with this same issue as a Dad with my ex wife’s family. Now they have a hard time connecting with my children due to such actions. Time heals
Not at all. What he’s doing isn’t ok. And trying to guilt you for expressing your feelings and needs us really messed up. He’s being selfish af.
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Get a toy start using it a bedtime for yourself I bet he changes his way real quick
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But he IS being a bad husband. You’ve expressed your feelings about porn and he gaslit you to feel bad about it. Sounds like he might have a p*rn addiction.
That sounds like a therapy issue. Porn addiction desensitizes men to the physical needs of their partner because they can satisfy themselves to other women in seconds.
Get a toy and start playing porn videos randomly.
I think some men just get freaked out that they could hurt the baby or the baby could feel his dick touching the baby’s head so that might be turning him I don’t think you are turning him off but I think he is overthinking that the baby is in your belly and baby might feel everything and that’s why he is leaning more to porn maybe reassure him that no harm will come to the baby and that the baby can’t feel his dick going in you and you guys might get back on track with your sex life. If not pleasure yourself girl❤️
Talk to him about why you’re not having sex. He might be afraid of hurting you or the baby.
Some guys are weird about sex with pregnant woman. It weirds my husband out. He has been a little better this pregnancy but our sex life kinda goes away.
You’re not overreacting and especially the fact that you expressed it bothered you and that didn’t change anything isn’t right.
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You are not overreacting if its how you feel. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. I don’t have any advice, but please don’t let him or anyone make make your feelings seem invalid. Its unfair and will definitely continue once he sees he can. Hopefully you guys can figure things out.
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Buy yourself a battery operated boyfriend and take care of business solo.
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Men are replaceable. Yell him to step up or step out period. Shove that phone up his you know what. Maybe put men on your phone see how he likes it. If I need take care of my own needs then the relationship is done period.
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Tit for tat get a toy watch your own porn. If he won’t let you he apart of his self pleasing then he sure as heck doesn’t need to be apart of yours.
I feel as though this would be normal
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Your boundaries are your boundaries. If he’s using a flat screen more than he is touching you, it’s a big problem—and could lead to worse things.
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It could be a pregnancy thing. Seriously. It doesn’t make it right but you also have to be considerate of his feelings too. My man used to tell me how he always fantasized about being with a pregnant woman until I actually got pregnant then as I started to get visibly pregnant (around four months as she was my third baby, first with him) he didn’t want to do it as much. When asked why he told me simply he didn’t want to hurt the baby and he could tell certain positions I liked were uncomfortable for me and he didn’t want me to be in anymore pain than I was.
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Nah. You’re not overreacting.
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Maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable having sex while your pregnant.
Nope, not overreacting. He needs to have a honest conversation with you about what’s going on in his head. He could be worried about the baby etc but you’ve told him that the lack of sex and the uptick in porn is bothering you and he continues anyway. That is a man who doesn’t respect you. You should be able to say, “Hey this bothers me,” and him stop doing whatever he’s doing. And the same goes the other way around. He should be able to do the same. The fact that he completely brushed off your needs and feelings is disrespectful af. Once a man would rather watch porn than have actual sex, you’re stepping into porn addiction territory. Time to have a conversation. No accusing, no shaming, just a conversation. Ask him what’s going on in his head. Don’t lead him either. Let him be honest and come up with his own answers.
Nope. Just went through this shit. Eventually, it will lead to more. If you told him how it makes you feel and he still chooses to do it, he doesn’t care about you.
Have him watch John Doyle on YouTube he has a few videos about how porn is destroying men and actually rewiring their brains. Here is a link to one of the videos How Porn Is Destroying You and Our Country - YouTube
Not wrong. He needs to get his priorities straight. Many people enjoy porn casually and it sounds like you don’t mind him doing so. But using g porn to replace intimacy with his wife is not normal or healthy at all. You’ve told him how you feel and he isn’t respecting you. At this point I would insist on couples counseling to find out exactly why he has changed his behavior recently and to get through to him that it isn’t acceptable to gaslight you and disregard your feelings.
Porn is a form of cheating, especially if you aren’t okay with it. The guy is getting off to other women instead of his wife. Yes, something is wrong with that. You aren’t the problem. Some guys truly struggle with porn. That may or not be the case but yes, it’s definitely a form of cheating.
Porn addiction is a real thing.
John Updike, the famous author, infamously wrote “A man gets his first mistress when his wife gets pregnant”. I believe John.
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Women watch some porn and shhhhh lol relax hunny
I’m in the same boat with you. Except my husband said that having sex while I was pregnant freaked him out. I’m 6 months as well. We haven’t had sex in about 2 months. I was very upset at first but I asked about it on here and was attacked for not respecting his feelings. 
So I just pretty much gave up. I just take care of things myself if the time comes. I’m sorry I don’t have any advice but wanted you to know you aren’t alone.
It’s so weird that people don’t see this as messed up. Definitely over reacting. Some men don’t feel comfortable having sex while their partner is pregnant. That’s totally okay, you have your boundaries but he also has his. Maybe you should follow his lead and meet your own needs by yourself. You want to guilt trip him into having more sex with you and that’s messed tf up. If roles were reversed everyone would say that’s not okay.