Can relationships last if mom is the breadwinner?

If a man posted this shit people would riot…grow up and decide what you want in life smh

Do you want it to work? Then have a discussion

If you don’t want it work- then use it as an excuse to end the relationship

What is the actual problem here?

If a man said this women would be there with their pitch forks lmao

12 Likes

Me and my hubby are a team! What’s mine is ours, what’s his is ours for our life together😊

2 Likes

Who works more hours? Who has the more physically demanding job?

Hmmm, did I just board the time machine and enter the 50s?:roll_eyes::unamused:

Go 50/50 on everything. That includes housework. Men can do housework too.

That’s life… lol
Mom/ women
Take care of the house

It’s really just how it goes :grinning::rofl:
Is it perfect no
But we do it :orange_heart:
Before being. A SAHM
I worked more or just as much as he did
I did the BULK of everything
That’s life
Own it
Be proud

6 Likes

Relationships aren’t 50 50. They’re like, 80 20.

2 Likes

Naturally better at cleaning is where you lost me :joy:

Get some help. Use the money to lighten load of chores. Then enjoy

Hire a house cleaner and a nanny. Then enjoy…

1 Like

Sounds like you are ready for the conversation. Just remember that he is your partner. It isn’t always 50/50. Good luck!

You should see a therapist about your issues. :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:t2:

If she is making such great money now hire a maid.

I’m just thinking when this guy wins the lotto he should leave this woman :joy:

He should run :joy: there’s a “problem” and he doesn’t even know it. Sad

:woman_facepalming:t2: appreciate what you have… I can’t even comment anymore Than that.

Good luck finding that now days appreciate what you have this man took care of you for so long now you got a business you want to send him packing cuz you think hes not good enough smh

2 Likes

hire a maid once a week at least or what u need…problem solved.
His issue if he doesn’t like it because u can’t do it all…

1 Like

You literally answered your own question :grimacing:

This… this is why i prefer to stay single. Making problems out of thin air.

4 Likes

Dang, somebody got too big for their britches!

1 Like

Don’t emasculate him about your different salaries. Just bc you are doing your thing financially, that does not give you the right to make him think he has to make more to keep up with you and your expectations. I have always made more than most men I have dated, but you NEVER throw that in their faces. It never works well when a man can’t feel like a provider for his family. I second what most of the comments I have read say…hold tight to your good man, he is truly a rarity in this day and age. Also, men don’t see things as we do, they need clear concise directions on what you need from him. So tell him what you need from him in the way of help at home. Then we he doesn’t attempt to deliver what you need, that might be a problem. But if he is trying, that man loves you and he wants to do right by you, and his child. If you can’t appreciate him, let him go so someone else can.

1 Like

I dont think its fair to say woman are naturlly better at caring for babys ect that isnt always the case i honestly dont see a problem except maybe just ask him to do more arouund the home not everything in life is perfect but urs sounds pretty perfrct to me

There’s nothing wrong with what you said everyone has different terms of relationship :100: if you don’t see it working if he doesn’t change those things & you guys can’t work it out then let him go be great with someone else & find you someone on a higher level that you feel is equal to your worth

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

I feel that both people no matter who works more or makes more they both need to help around the house it’s both their home and both their mess no one should have to clean up after a grown person period

Don’t make him feel like shit because you now make more than he does.
Kids and household chores are both an adults responsibility and something you both should be doing.

I say Humble yourself. You never know what the future has in store you got it and you can lose it. Sounds like you got in to your head your better than him now. He actually deserves to be with someone who appreciates a little more

1 Like

speak up and tell him he needs to pull his weight around the house and with the baby. if both partners work then both should also be sharing the other responsibilities. women aren’t naturally better at housework and taking care of kids, men just don’t pull their weight.

Honestly these “gendered” household and child rearing chores are so old fashioned and need to be unlearned and disregarded by our society completely, they’re not helpful at all. While women tend to have a natural knack for nurturing, fathers can be more than competent caretakers of their children when given the opportunity. And everyone should clean up after themselves. My opinion only, the money issue shouldn’t be an issue at all and letting it become one can ruin your marriage/relationship. People really put too great an emphasis on money when in actuality it doesn’t matter much at all. Maybe private therapy and couples therapy would be a good idea

If you don’t show a man you appreciate him regardless he will end up leaving you or stop trying with anything your asking him to do. I totally get the 50/50 with the baby and cleaning and Bill’s I 100% agree with that no doubt. You need to love him for what he can do and what he had down and is doing.

I read something about a female who is on top its harder for her to find a man bc her confidence and wants are alot more than they use to be or some shit like that. If that man is loving you correctly then love that man back. Real love is hard to find dude. Dont let that man go bc of that. Be thankful he has a job

We share a bank account. Its the only bank account we have! All money made goes into it. All bills are paid from it. We been together 17years married for 14 this June. Its OUR money. Doesnt matter who makes what.
As far as chores and to dos. Before kids we split it. If i cooked he did dishes if he cooked I did dishes. I swept mopped vacummed he do trash recycling we both took turns on bathrooms. After kids…once 5 and up…they got a chore. My now 17 yr old does the dishes trash recycling. 9yr old clears table twins(6) help pick up toys and show area and help bring clothes back to their drawers. Each takes a turn setting table for dinner. I nownhave 17 and 9yrnold help cook dinners. Theybalsi help with laundry. Husband does his own clothes I do mine and everyone elses but the kids help put their own away. Kids help feed pets.
But yeah before kids we just worked together to get the stuff done after we got home from work. Back then we shared a bank account too. I made more and didnt matter
Now he makes more. Doesnt matter. Whats IN the account belongs to us both. Pays the bills feeds the family and we save and we allow selfs to have spending money per month.
Tryn to get gifts without the other one knowing is our only issue regarding finances.

One account. Deposit funds into it and be one unit. No reason to separate funds!

My thoughts are you’re nuts. And this thought process is quite sexist in this age of equality. Good for you that you make more money. Shove it in his face and he will ultimately leave you. You should both pay bills , you should care for your child equally and you should both care for your home. In my house we both make the bed, we both do laundry, he takes care of the outside and I do most of the inside minus what he decides to do while I’m at work and he is home caring for our son.

My issue here is the obvious. The unaddressed deeply rooted sexism that you are applying to the situation.

So like, he also works, he pays toward the house. Somehow because you make more money than him you now, what? Is he working the same number of hours as you? When you made less money were you working the same amount of time as you are now? If the issue is the money you need to rethink yourself. You cannot make more money than someone and suddenly feel “better than” or make him feel like “less than” because you became the breadwinner.
You could stay home, and he could pay the bills. He could stay home and you pay the bills.

1 Like

Thats the problem with todays society.
No one is happy unless they are both working.
People want to playhouse.
But dont want any of the responsibilities.
So what if you make more then he does, you looking for more income from him to get more child support if it dont work out or what?.
Maybe instead of bitching about it have a conversation with him.
Its all about communication in relationships.
If you make enough to support the family then without worrying about 1 bill then see if he wants to be stay at home father.
Todays society is all about greed and that is what this sounds like.
When you play house there is no such thing as my paycheck is mine and her paycheck is hers its called ours.

I encourage my husband to always do what he can to make more money, and he agrees. He has a good union job and he wants to keep climbing the ladder. The best I can do is be encouraging and give him reasons to want to be financially stable for our whole lives.

Think you know the answer already.

I have a boyfriend who since day one said if you’re expecting me to pay your bills I’m not for you and I don’t expect anyone to pay my bills so I didn’t care but I did tell him since day one also if you expect to get fully catered too and get food , meals prepped clothes washed and folded and ironed I’m not doing it . & there’s no way a kid will only be mine and I will not be a stay at home wife he can help me get daycare and all .

We all help each other out, no one takes advantage on anyone

i think it’s unfair if you’re paying the long haul and still the only one expected to do the homemaking. however, your view on “the man should make more / pay more” is unreasonable.

I’m in the same boat

Actually he should leave you! You are the problem

He better start helpin around tbe house n with baby!

If you don’t see it working out long term, why stay? As for the rest you could hire help?..

I was in the same boat… relationship ended I was burned out taking care of my kids and his and paying most of the bills

What balance in the dynamic are you referring to?

He make as much money as you or your equal in household duties?

Exactly how high are you?

I was married to a man who paid for everything and was a cheater, liar and was not the best father. So count your blessings for what you do have which seems like a pretty good guy. The grass ain’t always greener girl

1 Like

I get the vibe that now ur doing better than him, u think ur better than him… :woman_shrugging:t4: idk just a vibe I got reading sorry not sorry. Sounds like u should work on urself. That “more money” got to u. Humble urself honey.

1 Like

Hire a house cleaner and babysitter

So… This seems slightly sexist :face_with_raised_eyebrow: or maybe I’m reading it incorrectly. Honestly I feel like you and your partner need to sit down and talk

He deserves better than you!
#LosingAGoodManBeingPetty

If you have enough money from your business then hire help. Win win.

I agree he needs to start helping around in the house but he should have started that long ago even before you started making money what its sounding like is you have become money hungry the more you have the more you want enough is just never enough for you to actually encourage your boyfriend to start making more…
I’m sorry but people like you are gross.

I think he should dump your ungrateful azz!!!

1 Like

Um I think that the idea of a relationship is to love one another regardless of what they bring to the table . :thinking: this sounds more like a business deal than a marriage

40 Likes

First of all it sounds like you should be single it doesn’t sound like you appreciate what you have whatsoever. Second of all I’m sorry you grew up thinking that women are just naturally meant to cook clean do laundry have dinner ready and take care of the baby but that’s not a logical way of living there is no such thing as gender roles like that you make them and you put them in your own home and that’s a crazy way to raise a baby. My son and daughter have the exact same chores they both take the garbage out they both do the laundry they both clean the floors. They both help in the kitchen with dinner and they damn sure both clean the dishes. My husband works almost 70 hours a week and I’m a stay-at-home mom I don’t bring a dollar into this house and my husband does more cleaning than I do because it’s something he enjoys. My husband has more patience than I could ever have. He was naturally meant to be a parent I had to teach myself how to do this. But it honestly sounds like you just don’t appreciate what you have I’m sorry

37 Likes

I’m the breadwinner in my relationship simply because my partner lost his job due to Covid. Sometimes he doesn’t do housework and I do it. I don’t mind doing the chores and looking after our child because we’re a team. Not once have I thought that because I’m making more money than him that he should try earn, or that he should do the majority of the housework. I love him and our child to bits and it never crosses my mind “is this going to work” just because one of us does more housework than the other or earns more than the other. I enjoy working and making sure our house is nice for us and he does his share when I ask. Communication is key

29 Likes
  1. It’s fine who ever makes what ever. Don’t let it stress you.
  2. You both need to take part in cleaning if both working. Shouldn’t just be on one person.
32 Likes

So when you were making less you still considered it equal but now that you’re making more you’re somehow better? I mean you can be single and do everything on your own if thats really the biggest issue in your relationship.

Have you had a conversation about household duties? Finances? Did you expect him to know that by paying your share you expected more from him?

19 Likes

Wow. I have no words. You sound awful. Now just because you make more, you’re throwing a fit? Even when he was there for you before you made all this money? Grow up.

10 Likes

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: “make more money!” as if it’s the easiest thing ever. So you want him to work a full time job and a part time job on the side? Like you literally want him to have no time at home with you or the baby?

Men aren’t meant to make money in the same way that women aren’t meant to do all the cleaning and taking care of the kids. You are asking too much of him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he left you.

4 Likes

Women, you have some issues. You need to get out of the “Men should be the breadwinner”
mentality.Even if you earn more than him, it doesn’t mean he has nothing to give. He probably has the most to give than any other high-earning men. Cooking-Cleaning-Washing-taking care of offsprings are basic skills and responsibilities that every human being has to carry off regardless of their gender. He can take care of his children, clean house and wash dishes as efficiently as you. He can probably love you more than any other high-earning men. You are a misogynistic piece of shit and he probably deserves a better women than you who can respect him regardless of his financial condition.

1 Like

If it was me, just my opinion I’d be fine with it. Tuck it back for rainy day or savings whatever. Most men are prideful and their job is essentially their identity. My mans pride would be wounded if he knew he wasn’t providing for our family the way I was. And also, men aren’t exactly raised and taught how to take care of the house to know they need to help.

I get you wanting him to help out with kids and household chores he should absolutely help. But asking someone to start making more money ??? You were ok with how much he was making when he was the bread winner? But you’re coming off as a narcissist because you have this “successful business”.

1 Like

This is why I cringe when I see a woman telling another woman (who says she doesn’t want to have any more children) “Awww, but you might meet a man one day, and HE’s gonna want to have children!” :roll_eyes: Oh? And can you look into your crystal ball and tell me if he’s gonna HELP take care of these children? Actually spend time with them? Or will that be something that the woman has to do on her own? Because if so, what’s the point in all of this “You should give that man a baby” b.s. Lol. I know MARRIED women who say their husbands do nothing to help take care of the kids, and it’s made them feel like they’re single mothers. It ruined the marriage of my former neighbor…and she had two sons and was dealing with behavior problems with them.

1 Like

Please tell me this is a joke. I spent 4 years as a housewife so my husband could pursue his career. Now once I finish school, I’ll make more than him. And he made enough to provide more than well for us. And he has zero problems with me making more because we are a team. While I was a housewife I obviously did more domestic and parenting duties… but once I make more, it it be more 50/50. If your spouse can’t understand that dynamic then find someone else.

1 Like

I’m so confused.
You say that now you’re doing better financially, he needs to up his game and earn more so that he’s ‘the man of the house’.
Yet you want to do things 50/50?
I honestly think you need to relook at things and figure our what makes you happy, because I can’t imagine anything he does will satisfy you.

It won’t work for you two cause you have already sabotaged your relationship in your mind and brought it to frutition in this post the only thing left for you to do know is end it

Firstly what business :eyes::sweat_smile:
And secondly yes of course.
Just help the bloke out with learning how to do household stuff. It’s society that’s let them down by not teaching them (or even many women!) basic life skills. But if you’re both contributing 50:50 it should be that way in all aspects. If you’re contributing more then you pick up less house stuff.
It’s 100% not something that should ever break a good couple up?!

Have a new take on things? Make a schedule of who does what on what days, try and split the chores + child duties, take turns, calling it quits because he doesn’t make as much money as you is such a poor excuse to leave

I don’t think the dollar amount earned should be the parameter. I mean, if one partner can earn twice as much by doing a few hours on a computer each day, as the other person does in 12 hrs of manual labor, should the 2nd one have to also do the housework and cooking? A persons value and contribution shouldn’t be based on their earning potential, regardless of gender.

1 Like

Well if you actually think women are better at household chores then he probably goes along with that.

My mothers has been carrying my father for 40+ years. Its a choice by love & i am their only child.

What do you mean it didn’t work out around the house? Did he not help or did you not want him to help because you didn’t like the way he did it? If the latter, you need to accept that he may do things around the house differently than you and that if you’re expecting him to do it, you’ll have to accept his way of doing it.

Prime example of women becoming unhappy with the same situation they were happy with at one time …. He should find himself another partner

Can I just say how ignorant you are for saying “the woman is naturally better at things he can’t do like cleaning laundry and taking care of a baby” men can definitely do those things and if that’s HIS CHILD HE SHOULD NATURALLY be able to take care of her!! Tf type of 1950s relationship you living in my dear :woozy_face: bc no

1 Like

Fk boys don’t have a job most the time let alone help at home or pay bills shit my baby daddy a dead beat don’t pay shit not even call his kids bro can’t even send me 5 bucks lmfao its been over 4 years!! you my girl sound like u have an awesome man he helps with bills probably groceries and what he can he has a job that’s all that matters what bc u make more then him u don’t know if its gonna work out wow he is helping you look at US SINGLE MOMS WE WISH WE HAD THAT!!! I think you are the problem hunny best of luck finding Mr Rich :wink:

Sounds like he needs to file for a divorce

Please tell me this is a joke. I’ve never seen such internalized misogyny in my life.

Too worried about who has what role.

Appreciate a good man. Trust me, its hard to find someone that is a good husband, father. Nobody is perfect. Hire help with the house. Hire a mothers helper. Invest in yourself and your relationship. Also, train me how to start my own business too,
Please! :rainbow:

Hire a housekeeper and enjoy the extra money.

1 Like

What did i just read :roll_eyes:

I can NOT stress this enough, COMMUNICATE!!

This is utterly ridiculous :rofl:

I think he should just throw you completely away​:roll_eyes::roll_eyes::woman_shrugging:t3::woman_facepalming:t3:

1 Like

Whinner suck it up and make it work.

Sounds like your ungrateful

Thoughts? Shut the fuck up

1 Like

Sheesh. If I was him I’d do ya one better and leave your ass.

2 Likes

Hire a housekeeper :woman_shrugging:

2 Likes

I hope he leaves her. She sounds delirious :joy::joy::joy:
Smh

Hire a cleaner. Get a Roomba. Use the extra money to make your life easier.

1 Like

Wow!! If you lost it all tomorrow, would he still be there? It’s complete bullshit that men can’t be good at child care, laundry, etc. I’m the bread winner in our house and my fiance is a helluva great help to me! He cooks, cleans, does laundry, takes the kids to school/appointments. Is the fact that you’re making more$$really the only reason you’re unhappy in your marriage?

50 Likes

I’ve always made more than my partners and have always been in charge, usually completely, of running the household and taking care of the kids. I definitely get resentful sometimes but I try to focus on the things I’m grateful for from my partner. I point out to them and myself all the times I seethem going above and beyond or the other ways they add to our home. I don’t think finances or taking care of the house needs to be 50/50. Obviously I’d love it but I’d be forever single if that’s what determined if I stayed with a partner.
I’m a very independent person so as long as my love tanks are being filled in ok with doing the majority of the work because I’d be doing it if we weren’t together.

Maybe read The 5 Love Languages together so you can both learn to speak each other’s love language. Sometimes they feel like they are doing a lot but because it’s not things that are important to you, you feel like they aren’t doing anything.

5 Likes

Households are compromises just like relationships, I stay home and my husband works but I know that if the tables were turned he would absolutely take care of our household and child in a heartbeat, the money thing shouldn’t matter at all because it should all go into a budgeted pot anyway imo

4 Likes

If he’s loving and supportive. Why let the housework get to you? Relationships are not all about money and who makes more or whatnot. If it’s what works for you family then why change it? If you are making more. Hire a house cleaner for every month or so. Atleast it will put less stress on you guys and more into appreciating what you all have.

7 Likes