If you’ve been together ten years and haven’t wanted to move in, yeah it’s time to reconsider where it’s going.
2 Likes
I think feeling appreciated in any relationship is really important. Just remember there are lots of honest, thoughtful men out there. & life IS short; do whatever makes you happy.
2 Likes
Ask yourself if you are happy? Could you keep doing this for many years to come? If you answered no go any of those questions girl LEAVE.
1 Like
Relationship of 10 years and not living together? Bye. He’s not gonna put a ring on it anytime soon.
5 Likes
How do you it’s time to end a relationship? If you’re asking this question in the first place…
1 Like
It’s sounds like you do know though 
1 Like
Baby: let it go! Same boat here. He will never put you above himself.
Someone else out there can and will love you better!
1 Like
I only read til ten years of lies… I’m not putting up with a liar after 10 minutes.
3 Likes
All i read was 10 years of lies and no commitment
6 Likes
After 10 years he hasn’t said hey what’s he counseling let’s get her problem solved and this is his way of life you’re wasting your life on him I don’t want to see anybody break up and sometimes you got to remove the trash out of your life and start over Jimbo
Time to let this relationship go
2 Likes
You will feel it in your bones. You don’t miss him. You don’t want him around. You stated you don’t even live with this person so… you ask yourself if the time you put in worth it. We’re you happy? If so talk about it and try to get counseling.
End it once and for all.
Ten years and you don’t have more of a commitment or serious change? I’d move on. Life’s to short to live unhappy especially if you’re not married.
If you have to ask the question, then you already know what time it is…
7 Likes
No trust…no relationship 
You already know. Do you want 10 more years of exactly the same?
1 Like
Girl if y’all don’t live together after 10 years then u honestly cannot say he hasn’t slept with anyone else. Also if y’all been together for 10 years n still no living together that’s a huge red flag n honestly sounds like you may be the side chick n he has someone main with him n even if u go to his place he can surely hide the stuff to make it seem like it’s just him living there. Stop being naive honestly.
4 Likes
Give him up. Find another one who you can trust and who trusts you.
1 Like
You already know *trust your instincts and good luck
1 Like
You do know. And u answered yourself. When it’s time to go, every thing about you knows. Another door can’t open until u close this door. Nothing wrong with picking yourself and your happiness. Good luck !
2 Likes
Ten years and you aren’t living together… it’s time to move on.
1 Like
You’re wasting your life away with this loser. Love yourself!!!
2 Likes
You ask that question… once you are questioning if it’s the end it probably is
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
1 Like
He is treating you like an option not a priority. You deserve better. End the relationship and allow something and someone better into your life.
68 Likes
It’s all about your own self worth and what your willing to put up with. You are telling him how to treat you by the things you forgive him for. Just because he hasn’t slept with anyone doesn’t mean he isn’t cheating in other ways. 10 years is a long time without forward progress. Only you can follow your heart. You are the one that has to deal with the depreciations of the fall out.
17 Likes
Some people are not into a true commitment. Sounds like that may be the case. If you aren’t happy and want more than he is able or willing to give, move on.
Life is too short to settle.
4 Likes
You have to decide what you want out of your relationship and if you’re not getting it, stop settling. If you’re okay with being together for ten years with no commitment and still not being a priority then stay but if you want more, stop wasting valuable time with someone who doesn’t appreciate or respect you and find someone who will. Bottom line is know your worth and then don’t settle for anything less. Good luck!
18 Likes
Ah…I’d let him know exactly what you’re thinking, then walk away just to see what happens. He will either come back fighting for you and learn to make you happy and if he doesn’t…then you’ll know it was the right choice. 10 years is a long time to be second guessing. Chances are this is done with. I’d personally start fresh if this isn’t a marriage.
2 Likes
If you’re asking how do you know it’s time, it’s time. The time has come to find someone that makes you happy. This is not the guy. You want him to be that guy, but he is never going to treat you the way you want to treated. Life is to short to continue like this. Let go of what’s comfortable, and find some that will respect you.
21 Likes
It’s time to move on and find happiness!! My daughter is going through the same thing… let go ladies their pieces of s*** to have put you ladies into this position…
Sweetheart it’s been 10 yrs. you can’t teach someone to show love. If it’s not in him then he won’t show it. Love yourself a little more and let him go but most importantly let yourself be free and open up to new things. We all deserve to be happy and most importantly loved.
7 Likes
I’m at the same place with my kids father. We married, divorced, reconciled, separated, and now are “together” while living apart, honey it’s not worth it. I am constantly being the thoughtful one too. They get all of our everything while doing nothing for it, why would they change? It’s hard, trust me I know 1st hand, but it’s time to let go and move on, we can get there together. 
12 Likes
It sounds like he’s using you. I’d stop buying him things and spoiling him and see how long he sticks around. He’s taking advantage of your generosity and forgiving nature.
You can’t have a healthy relationship with someone that is constantly lying. Those “little” lies will turn into big ones because he knows he can get away with it and still keep you. You deserve someone that is honest with you and reciprocates.
1 Like
If your question enough and having days when you don’t care you know. You may just need to hear similar stories and gain some confidence. I was in this exact situation. One day I woke up and just knew I didn’t want to do it anymore.
Honey, I know I’m going to sound harsh, but read the words you posted.
How can you be “NOT SURE” if you trust him when, if your words are honest, IT IS ABUNDANTLY CLEAR you cannot trust him and probably never could.
Men are pretending to be women these days to minimize women and keep them down. It is always a ploy by them to be MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, no matter the cost.
You deserve to be happy. To have someone send you flowers “Just because it’s Wednesday” in the words of Vivica Fox.
Men who don’t reciprocate are soul sucking and life draining, even if they don’t do it on purpose.
Take care of you.
You. Deserve. To. Be. Number. One.
Take care of you.
3 Likes
It seems like a long time to not be happy. If you have communicated your needs to him and he still hasn’t taken the relationship seriously, he’s not going to. You can’t change anyone and it’s not your job to, your job is to make yourself happy.
11 Likes
End it! You can find someone that makes you happy! But as I told my Daughters when they were dating - you can not meet the right one if you are with The wrong one!
1 Like
I had to stop and look at the beginning of the paragraph because she lost me at 10 years but don’t live together. Like what?!? I would understand if they live together and finding it hard to make a decision but sound like she already single with an entanglement.
13 Likes
Honey, cut your losses and end it. Life is too short to spend with someone who has proven over and over again that they simply do not care for/about you. Know your worth. Know that you deserve better/more than what you’re getting. You very clearly say that you are not happy living like this. SO DON’T. Go forth and find what makes you happy without dead weight holding you back/down.
4 Likes
10 yrs… you deserve better and definitely should already have progress in y’all’s relationship 
There’s one question you need to ask yourself… do I want to live this way for the next 10 yrs?? If the answer is no then you know what to do… 
1 Like
If you’ve been feeling this way lately… you’ve made up your mind
Just go for it
You’ll be happier honestly
When I went thru that with my ex… I thought being alone was scary but I embraced it and lived it great.
It not working within 10 years and not living together… you already know. Leave and go be happy
17 Likes
It breaks my heart to see women accepting this kind of treatment and settling for men who are not absolutely crazy about them, because that used to be me. You are worth so much more than this BS. No man who genuinely cares about you and your feelings is going to act like that. Learn to value yourself and find a man who values you too. I promise he is out there and you will be so much happier and every aspect of your life will improve because of it.
2 Likes
I went through this same situation. I’ve known him for 20 years and we been together for 3. When he told me he loved me in a text or on the phone, I rolled my eyes and thought yeah right. Then when he knew (because I told him) that I was ready to walk and doubted everything he said to me, he wanted to get married. I thought for sure I’d go to sleep our wedding night and wake up and he’d be gone, but he wasn’t and was pushing me out the door to go do it. I think some just aren’t as secure as you think they are.
The fact you typed that all out, I think you know you’re done. People change in the time span of 10 years, that’s a long time, and if y’all haven’t made the steps to grow together in that time then maybe the relationship has run its course🤷🏼♀️
1 Like
Red flags mean something. Pay attention to them. I spent 10 yrs with my husband and if how you sound is truly how you feel then take care of yourself.Mine however couldn’t keep his zipper shut.
3 Likes
When you feel like you have to ask… it’s time. From what I read it seems like it’s time and you are just looking for reassurance that you are doing the right thing! Leave! 
1 Like
Ask yourself how many more days, weeks, etc… are you wanting to feel this way. If you are done then you are done. I know easier said then done !! It will be hard and it will hurt . you just have to know you deserve better then being unhappy with someone who can easily lie to you, who can not even show you the littlest of appreciation or love. Letting go sooner rather then later will give more appreciation and love for yourself and more of an opportunity to find a new kind of love and happiness.
How do you KNOW he hasn’t been with someone else? Especially not living together? Honey you deserve better
2 Likes
Sometimes they are put in our path to help us right now. Not forever. I truly believe you deserve the best and this is not it. I wish you the best and for the courage to be able to cut ties.
1 Like
10years to long!! Let go, I know easier said then done…but if change hasn’t happened yet, it’s not going to 
3 Likes
Walk away, life is too short. You deserve happiness and he can not love you the way you need it! Please walk away
If you’re second guessing that’s the perfect sign to let him go. You know in your heart what the best thing for you is
1 Like
10 year relationship and not living together? relationships should move with the goal of growing to be together… after 2 years maximum you really need to start having that serious conversation of where things are going and where you will be at. you’ve put up with this for 8 years too long in my opinion
2 Likes
I think you answered your own question. It’s time for YOU to be happy.
2 Likes
If you aren’t happy and you’ve expressed your feelings and concerns and still nothing changes, it’s time to move on. Someone out there will reciprocate the big and small things.
I think you’ve answered your own question. I know everyone is different, but why after 10 years do you both not reside together? That alone seems odd, altho many people make different circumstances in their relationship work. With everything else you said, I think you shouldn’t waste another 10 years with this guy.
If you have to ask this question in the first place…that should be your answer right there 
2 Likes
Have you tried talking to him? If you have, then he will understand why you want to throw in the towel.
2 Likes
You know it’s time to end the relationship when you have to ask a bunch of strangers if its time…
Forget what you want and remember what you deserve
1 Like
Life is to short to be with someone who doesn’t make you happy.
1 Like
Whatever you choose you need to choose soon. I wouldn’t waste anymore of your time or his time as well it’s not fair to either one of you.
1 Like
If you aren’t happy, time to go. He won’t change. You’ll find someone who will give you what you need.
Its time when you have to ask the question! Never !!! Never! Disrespect yourself!
1 Like
Together for 10 years and don’t live together…?
2 Likes
And get married won’t change it and could make it worse
2 Likes
You don’t even live together… why would he even consider trying to be anything better or do things for you. Move on. You deserved better since long ago.
You knew exactly what answer you were looking for the second you posted this. 10 years and you still don’t live together? He is treating you like an option, not a priority. I’m gonna say it, and I mean it with all kindness, if he wanted more from your relationship he would’ve been giving it and it’s time to move on. Give your time and effort to someone who will cherish it.
“Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer, but wish you didn’t.”
If there’s no trust, it’s over. Move on. If he doesn’t look out for you, he doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Hang it up and move on to someone that will appreciate you and the things you do.
2 Likes
It should end when you start questioning your worth. When you assess your effort and commitment and realize the other person hasn’t been committed in the same way. It doesn’t take a lot to invest emotionally or show for people. If he hasn’t done it in the first few months to a year, then he’s not going to. He is a taker and you are a giver so the relationship works for him. You forgot what you really needed and wanted and now it’s just vividly clear what that is and how little he has done to contribute to your growth, love and happiness. Men marry/date expecting that woman to never change and women date/marry expecting the man to change instead of looking at who he really is.
If you are not happy in this situation move on. If you have expressed your concerns and nothing changed move on. A man will go hard for what he wants
If your asking is it time?it probably is.
.Work out what positive things you are getting from this relationship and compare it to the negatives.Ask him what he wants, if it is to continue it needs big efforts from both sides.He may be as u happy as you.Whatever you decide this shouldn’t be about whose to blame but a decision for the future.Not all relationships are meant to last forever maybe this one has run its course.
I live in a some what difficult marriage. Its also been 10 years. He lies and has depression and at times can be emotionally shut down. I’ve also been asking myself the same questions lately. I make a daily decision to fight for what we have. Cauae right now the little bit of pain I’m dealt here and there isn’t nothing compared to what I would feel not having him. He is the love of my life my best friend . His good out ways the bad most of the time. Love is hard but its worth the fight
Honey you deserve better:heart: someone who cares about you , who wants to build a relationship a life !! If it was me ……. Life too short to waste on people that don’t care to put effort into a relationship!! 
I wish I had if listened to my gut instincts 2 years ago.
Always listen to what your body is telling you.
I was in a relationship like this before he Never trusted me and things happen like maybe he clicked on the text but didn’t realize it and it showed read but he never actually saw it? I’m not saying he is innocent because I don’t know him and maybe he’s not? But I know from experience that I WAS innocent every time my ex would accuse me of things so you just never know but also if he doesn’t appreciate anything you do and he never does anything nice for you then I would leave
I think you know. Just scared to take the first step. You can do it.
I feel like this is my marriage to a T…except we live together still…but at what point do you move on?! Ugh
After 10 years and not living together or your relationship progressing I would be over it
It will NOT get better living together. You have 10 yrs of telling him you are ok with his actions by staying
1 Like
What does your but say? You may already know the answer and just need confirmation
10 years is too long to be committed if you aren’t building together
10 years, I’m sorry, he’s not going to change at this point.
1 Like
If you’ve been dealing with this for ten years, I’d say it’s long past time to go!
There comes a time when you must throw away the number.
Then move on carefully
You already know the answer. 10 years! Sounds like a one sided relationship. You don’t live together. Sounds like time
My ex once told me that I was lucky to have a man like him, he doesnt beat me and doesn’t cheat. Not cheating doesnt make a man worth fighting for. That is the bare minimum he can do. It will not change. Some people are givers. Some are takers. The more you give, the more he will take. It will not change.
You already know it’s time to go. No need to seek validation from others.
Letting go is hard but holding on to nothing will cause everlasting pain.
I was with someone for 11 years and walked away
When you think about your future, do you want to be where you are today? Or do you want to be happy?
There is no way to avoid pain, so decide what you really want and need and begin to slowly walk in thatdirection. Staying will hurt and leaving will hirt. If you are staying because you are afraid of pain, aren’t you experiencing it anyway? If you are leaving to escape pain, you will still suffer it as you separate and finally begin to heal.
My biggest question is, you have been together for 10 years and still not even living together? That says a lot.
Its a no brained, get out now before u waste any more of your time, find someone who appreciates u and u won’t believe the difference
Read your post and think of what you would say to someone else in this position. You know what you need to do. 10 years is a long time but your happiness and well being come first.
It isn’t going to get better so you might as well go. Who wants to feel like that forever?