If it’s your deal breaker start packing up and leave. He knew what you wanted and he’s going back on it
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If it’s something you really want, then it’s time to move on unfortunately, if you can be happy together without another one then stay… only you can make that choice
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Set them down and tell him it’s either a baby or bye-bye I did the same thing I got pregnant at 15 had both of my kids by at 19 they’re 2 years apart boy girl and I never thought about ever wanting any more kids I ended up with a 50-year-old he couldn’t have kids he had a vasectomy but I let his stupid ass talked me into getting my tubes tied a year later me and him broke up I married someone else very happy that I never had a baby with him but there has been a couple of people that I’ve seen since I divorced in 2010 that I would have liked to had a baby with and I never can again I guess it’s okay though I did get grandchildren I have my daughter has girl girl boy girl and my son had stepchildren boy girl girl and then they had their son a boy the oldest step child is 15 which is the oldest of all the grandkids and seven is the youngest which he’ll be seven in August but it still just ain’t the same as having something your own that you can take care of and do things with whenever they get older and something I guess I never had before I can’t tell you whether I would really leave or stay because you have to look at it like this do you love him enough to spend the rest of your life with him if he don’t want to have kids anymore or if it’s a deal breaker that you just can’t deal with life’s too short if you want another baby he don’t want to then you’re getting older every day so I would go out and get rid of him find someone else that you can be in a relationship that wants kids that would probably be the best thing to do I wish you luck
If it’s that important to you then yes it is a deal breaker. You’ll spend the rest of your relationship blaming him for missing out on something you wanted. And if it doesn’t last and you break up years from now, you’ll feel it’s to late to start a new relationship and have a child with that person. Cut your ties while you’re young and not married. Life’s to short to be unhappy and always wonder what if. Plus if you accidentally get pregnant he’ll think you did it on purpose, treat you different and ruin your whole pregnancy experience.
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It is a deal breaker if you want another and he dose not i would give him a ultimatum either you guys have a child in this set time or your walking and explain how he told you that you guys would but now he changed his mind…
Nope, time to go. If you have to force it, it will end anyway, only a lot harder on everybody.
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Rather sounds like you want to enjoy “the pregnancy” and he, not getting the sensation of being pregnant is maybe thinking more about the subsequent 18 years, people change over time and not to use a prison analogy the youngest child is 7 so with time served you could be looking at freedom to do more travel, and other adult activities in ten years, another child pushes that down the road another ten years if you get started immediately, so if your dug in about another child and he’s wanting to finish the current projects without taking on any new ones I’d say you guys are circling the drain
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The trust is gone. You should be, too.
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When you ask an online relationship page when you know when its time to end a relationship.
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I dont think he lied i think maybe his feelings about having kids changed over the years. If having another child is something you are set on and its a “deal breaker” then i think its time to leave. Its not far to you if its something you really want and its not far to him to try to force him into having another child that he doesnt want
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Evaluate which is more important to you. Which do you want more. Are you willing to give up having more kids to be with this man for the rest of your life? Will you be at peace with everything you have now? Or is it worth it to leave this man, to fulfill something that your heart is still yearning for? Either way, you will have to give up something that will be hard to give up. Perhaps sit down with him and discuss that this is something you want, and something that you 2 had previously agreed upon. Let him know that when you entered a relationship with him, something very important to you was in your future. Ask him what is more important to him and stick to your guns. If not having another child is as important to him as having another child is to you, then it sounds like it may be time to pursue your future elsewhere.
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I would say leave. Y’all now realize you want different things for your futures and that okay but keeping it going can cause resentment on both ends. You wanting a child and not getting it or him not wanting one and giving into your want to make you happy.
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If you’re asking how to know when it’s time to end a relationship then you’ve already passed the point
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People do change their mind about things, even about how many kids they want. This does not mean he lied or deceived you.
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If my fiance wanted another child I would leave. I don’t want anymore kids and I will not be forced to have one just to keep my relationship alive
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As people get older and grow they do start to feel differently about things they want and don’t want. Just because 2 or 3 years ago he wanted more kids doesn’t mean he lied. It may just mean that he now has those kids and feels fulfilled no longer desiring another baby.
I would ask myself what is important having a baby or the relationship and bonus child u currently have?
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i would talk to hin about everything and go from there. as for the car. id sell it myself and get a new one myself if hes not willing to do it or help🤷🏻♀️
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Sometimes love is not enough! Sounds controlling, I’d be planning my exit. Save money, get your car, etc.
You can try counseling, to help you to decide.
If he’s working hard has three kids, with or without a mental illness like depression, he’s probably exhausted. He probably doesn’t want to cart you around on a whim. I think if you had your own car it would solve a lot of your problems. It seems like you want to just get up and go places and he’s tired. I don’t think this is all on him.
IMO you both need to communicate more and you need to put in the work to get your own car, too. Good luck!
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Perfect y’all just turned 25 everything will get rocky because y’all have just turned that corner in life. Good luck this is when people start to settle into who they are going to be moving forward. If this has just started to happen then I say give it time you both will level out. 25 is an interesting age and when you start to realize things in a whole different light. Maybe y’all need a date night or something. If you say he awesome at one point but then changed there is hope. Good luck relationships are hard.
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You can do WITHOUT HIM BUT YOU CHOOSE NOT TO!!! Never depend on anyone, but yourself!!! It’s a tough decision to walk away, but it’s a must for your sanity and your kid’s peace so they won’t have to witness mommy and daddy not getting along
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Tell him to let you borrow his car to run errands so you don’t have to bug him to go with you. Call your insurance and have your car towed to a shop and have it fixed yourself since you have a job. Relationships change as they age and it this is a perfect time to learn some self reliance. You’ll feel more confident and he won’t feel like you’re nagging him.
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Go buy a car with or without his help and then keep driving
Marriage takes work! You don’t get married just to split up when times get tough or things aren’t going your way! You made a commitment, stick with it!!! Your children don’t deserve to go through the turmoil of a divorce just because things got tough and you guys didn’t work to straighten things out. Communication and understanding/comprehension are vital to anyone’s marriage. Tell him you need him to communicate with you in a way that you are able to understand. Be patient with one another. Forgive one another. Understand that both of you are quite young and still have a lot to learn TOGETHER. marriage isn’t something you just give up on.
You don’t give up on your family give it the good fight you can rekindle the love you have for each other keep trying
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
When u have to ask that question
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He hasn’t lied.
He has made his mind up that 3 is enough and he doesn’t want anymore.
Just like women do.
You can ask why, without accusations and have one last conversation yes.
If he is adamant he is done then the choice is yours - a possible future child or the relationship you have already.
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When you’re asking that question to total strangers
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I would leave if that was a deal breaker you and he said he wanted it too. Life is too short so do what makes you happy
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None of us can correctly answer this question for you. Can you find yourself in another relationship stable and comfortable enough to raise another child, what kind of time frame will that be? Or can you live without the possiblity if having another child.
You have to follow your heart and do what’s best for you.
If you are questioning whether to stay or leave then you probably know the answer.
Talk to God about it.
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my biggest regret in life was not leaving my ex-husband and not moving on because the issue of other children was a deal-breaker for me and I ignored my own wants and needs
it all depends on what is more important to you. This relationship with somebody who does not have the same priorities and values as you or having another child?
for me, my biggest regret in life is not having the other child. Because we’re divorced. I don’t have him anymore, anyway. but I’m always a mother.
he knew going into it that I wanted more than one child. He held a carrot in front of my face for years and then he cut it off.
I did drastic things to try to change my own wants and needs so that I could keep my husband. with permanent consequences. Now even though I’m not with him, I will never have another child.
and he wasn’t worth it. not because of the number of children issue, but everything all around.
so really it just depends on what your personal priorities are. And you have every right to do what you need to make your life fit your priorities, regardless of what anybody else thinks. Because at the end of the day, nobody else on this planet has to live with the consequences of your choices except you
" if you don’t have to pay the price for my choices, you don’t get to judge them or say anything about them, thank you next."
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I thru away the best years of my life when I got married to a guy that later told me he didn’t want children. I had already from a previous relationship but I always dreamt of having more. My girls were 3 & 5 then. I thought maybe we’d have an oops baby or something but he wasn’t a sexual person either 
I wasted 13 years with him:flushed:
We divorced a few years ago and I am no way having a baby now that they are 18 & 20. If it’s a deal breaker then adios! Don’t waste your life with the wrong person, like I did!
why don’t you enjoy the one’s you already have. being a mom isn’t just about being pregnant. Your kids are at the age that you can have lots a fun and not have to drag all the baby stuff around. 3 is enough especially with the way things are now with covid and who knows about the economy now with the Delta virus that is going around now.
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If you’re not happy, it’s time.
If it’s still a deal breaker I think you must know the answer.
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If you’re adamnet about having another child and he is not it’s time to move on if you can’t accept the idea of having the three children you already share, especially if his mind is made up.
I was hesitant going into my relationship with my now boyfriend after my divorce. I already had three ( two girls and one boy) and didn’t want another. He only had his daughter. I was worried he would want a boy of his own to pass down his family name. He assured me he was happy with the four we share. They are so close in age they drain our energy. They are ( 12 -my daughter), (9 -my son) ( 8- his daughter), ( 7- my youngest daughter). We are blessed to have them close in age to play and hang out. We couldn’t imagine starting all over again with a new born. We are now finally at the ages we can travel and do kid friendly things.
Figure out what is most important to you and if your love for him is that forever love. 
Let your deal-breakers be deal-breakers. If it is, then you already know the answer.
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You answered your own question. You said it was a deal breaker. Unfortunately and saddening enough he doesn’t want anymore and you definitely don’t want to bring a child into this world just because its what you want. Sounds like you might have to move on. Best of luck.
If you truly plans on not having another child and you told him that was a deal-breaker for you before things got serious I would say walk away because you have the right to want more children and he has the right to not want them
In my experience, girl you already know what you gotta do next.
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Maybe he has seen that 3 kids is enough and he just changed his mind about a 4th. Why don’t you try asking him why instead of asking strangers what to do. I mean you’ve pretty much made your mind up in your post and answered your own question.
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Be grateful for the kids you have. The answer is simple, leave him if you want another child soooo bad, if having another child of the most important thing to you find someone who wants one bit don’t regret what you lost with that good man over your selfishness of wants
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
You know the answer. My nephew had bought a house with a girl. They spent most of his 20s together. They were both professionals and one day she just said she wasnt going to have kids. He left her. It killed him. He is now happily married 5 years later and just had a little girl in April.
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Do you love him…that should be the first thought…
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If it’s a deal breaker. Yes leave. You don’t want to regret not having more. Best of luck.
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Leave, trust me the right man will come along who wants the same things you do. As soon as I left my lying abusive ex bf the love of my life stopped in and now I’m 32 weeks pregnant 
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Sometimes these are signs that you should just leave. Coz a relationship where you can’t compromise is just Dead.
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I love how everyone just says leave. She has 2 kids already, he has one… maybe sit down and ask him what changed, maybe he’s happy with the 3 you both have even though its from different relationships, maybe its because of the economy. How old are you both? There’s A lot of factors to consider. Just talk to him to get to the root of the reason of why he changed his mind. It could be that simple of A answer, doesn’t mean he lied.
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Relationships take work. Marriages take work. See a counselor. Don’t give up just because of a challenge between you two. If the love is there it will surface. You just have to work through this. Nowadays people give up too soon. The first sign of something wrong and call it quits. That’s not how marriage was intended. We live in a disposable world. Once something loses its shine or luster, it gets thrown out. Relationships should be deeper than that. If it were me in your shoes, I’d try every avenue before throwing in the towel. It would set a good example for the children. Work through your problems.
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This is an issue of emotional maturity. Overall maturity. Obviously you’ve brought your concerns to him and he doesn’t care. Next step is to tell him you want a separation, girl get your car fixed yourself. You don’t need him to do anything for you. Move out and do life on your own for a bit. If yall are meant to be together, he will realize what he’s losing and make an effort, if not, you’re still young enough to be happy on your own and attract a mature person who is willing to have a partnership with you. You’re not his mom or his keeper and he’s not your dad or your keeper. Go get your car fixed without his help, go live your life without him and enjoy it. Some men are just defective, don’t waste your time on those.
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You’re supposed to grow with your spouse, but you can’t control his happiness. Only yours. Go do the things that make you happy and he will come around.
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I was on board with trying and getting counseling and figuring things out… until he gave you an ultimatum. That is a red flag for me. When the people you love come to you with whats bothering them, you don’t tell them this is who I am take it or leave it, you come up with ways to compromise so every one in the situation feels valued. Counseling may help, but the fact that he thinks he is that superior to say such things, I couldn’t deal with that.
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I was exactly where you are right now. And it was a very tough decision. We both love each other but just came a time where he wasn’t sure what he wanted. I waited for almost 6 months, still nothing. So I took my clothes and went home for a bit fir some time a way. After a month he was telling me how much he missed me and that he still loved me. After 2 months I went back cause he said he was ready and new he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We been getting along great so far. Hope it works for the best for us. You have to look within yourself to know what is right for your relationship. He may need time. And seeing you independent may be just what he needs to realize what he wants. Good luck to you and those girls. I’m not saying leaving would be right for you. But doing what you want and need and being independent may make him fall in love all over again! Good luck! Sending prayers 
I’m gonna throw out an unpopular opinion here. If your happiness is relying on someone else’s actions your in deep trouble. You need to focus on being happy within yourself and this will positively affect your marriage big time. You have kids and alot of history and it sounds like overall he’s a good guy. Marriage is not easy it requires work. He may be dealing with depression so often men struggle and it goes unnoticed. I wouldn’t throw your Marriage away these things are trivial
If you work, save money and get your car fixed or sell it yourself. I wouldn’t wait for him…
I would get my car fixed first of all. You get the ball rolling. Do it today.
You really answered your own question didn’t you? Do you respect yourself enough
An ultimatum is the biggest lack of accountability, and empathy for how you feel. It’s a huge red flag, that unfortunately, many people pull out when they’re faced with a conflict like yours. A woman feels unhappy, under appreciated and underwhelmed with the relationship and the husband says
“too bad”
“There’s nothing wrong with me”
“you are so ungrateful”
Etc. these are all tactics in avoiding addressing their shortcomings and quite frankly making YOU feel bad for pointing out that they have shortcomings!
Now with some people, they’ll never accept that they aren’t fulfilling their partners needs, and when it comes to them you just have to walk away. Cause it won’t ever get better. None of us know your husband, but from experience I can say I’ve been with two men who act/ed this way…one was young (22yo) and my current fiancé who is (34yo) and my child’s father, first guy was like screw it there’s a the door. And I left, because we were more roommates than anything by the end. My fiancé of almost 11 years has pulled the ultimatum card a bunch and guess what, he’s just trying to hurt me but if I left or split from him he would be begging me to stay with him. So maybe your situation is similar. One way to find out is to tell him you want to separate. If he doesn’t seem to care then you know he’s not for you anymore, and that’s okay! Better than okay! But if straightens up and starts helping you consistently and you guys can be brutally honest with eachother then he might be worth sticking around for. Some men just need to see what life is like without you and if they don’t mind life without you then, good riddance.
If asking… you know the answer is now
When you start asking that question
Your first mistake is thinking that you should be happy all the time.
There are going to be rough patches. Learn to work through them. Don’t run away because things are hard- that’s not how life works.
This is the devalue and discard phase. Prepare to leave.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
Nothing that you just said in your post says that he loves you sweetie. To be that cruel and cold to you he’s probably already cheated on you.
Love does not hurt like that. You cannot make someone love you if they dont.
It’s time you go see a lawyer. Move You and your girls out of this situation.
It’s time to take a stand for growth not going backwards. You know what has to be done so do it.
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Go to counseling, talk to him. He is working very hard and owns his own business. You all have to work together.
Get counseling. The take it or leave it means he’s done too. Something isn’t being communicated in your relationship properly. No matter the end point of counseling, you will know you tried.
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I think you answered your question yourself … Time to leave.
It’s not supposed to be this hard. That’s a phrase I had to say to myself to realize that it was time to move on. I’m now in a relationship that is easy and that’s how it’s supposed to be. Yes relationships take work from time to time but it should not be an everyday struggle.
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The whole “leave me if you dont like it” attitude is a very poor one to have towards someone you are married to and have kids with and in fact very manipulative. You say about your car needing to be fixed, do you have the money to fix it instead of just waiting for him to fix it? Because then you can do things for yourself when you need them done, yes he should want to do things with you but there are a lot of things you can do by yourself as well. The relationship cant be one sided, he has to want to make it work as well, so that is something you definitely should talk to him about. But it also sounds like you blame yourself for why he doesn’t put in effort and I wonder why that is?! Maybe you dont want to give up the relationship but you also need to make sure he doesn’t want to give it up either or else you are fighting a losing battle. As far as “cant make it without him” you would surprise yourself on what you need to do for your children and for yourself so dont ever stay in a relationship because you think you cant do it alone.
Time for u to move on and no need in being together if yall can’t get along
When you start asking the question, “how do you know it’s time to end a relationship”…that’s usually the time.
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Whatever happened to calling a parent to help get a car where it needs to be or calling someone from the mechanics to take it to them…and you still pay for your needs and go half with the partner if its beneficial to both. What your partner is more then likely stressed about it, is that your substiting him(the crutch) for your own independence. At the end of the day his point is that you can solve some or most of these things without him all the time, and sometimes he can’t bring himself to understand it the issue or truly connect to see how it’s that hard for you…it becomes really challenging for either person especially when they knows you done it before and that you know they’ve done it as well. Sure it’s tough having kids, but with kids you be the share care team for them, certain things you split costs down the middle… but for every other independent thing that is entirely your issue and not the others you should still problem solve for yourself. Somewhere the middle line has got clouded over on family and individual wants and needs because both of you are probably struggling working on that due to other stresses and factors. At the end of day you probably have the same goals, but communicating them is a bad frequency radio and patience to understand and communicate is tested. Playing the be my hero card is frustrating on both sides because neither can see how to get past and over when the individual stress and factors and mental points are full. This is where you both have to pack up and go out and have fun
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Sit down and have a talk with him, a very long talk about how you feel. How you’re tired of everything and know that if things dont get better it’s not going to keep working. Hes already told you he can find better, hes taken advantage of you according to you, and whatever else is bothering you. You need to talk to him, everything in one go and if things dont start getting better after a few months then it is time to leave. Counseling, communicating, you can try it all, but if he isnt gonna try to get better and if you have issues he hates and you dont try too, it will never work out.
Being a good dad doesnt make him a good husband… hes got his own back. Get yourself together learn to stand on your own two feet without him. He knows hes good without you. So learn to be good without him.
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I’d plop him down and tell him that he can switch up how he handles some things or his offer of “take it or leave it” was leaning really fast toward leaving.
It sounds like its over, yet he doesnt want to let you go, maybe he like seeing you at home with no options? Id say leave him and make your own way.
Me and the father of my kids have been together for 4 long and crappy years but after recently catching him cheating it was a make or break moment for us he realized what he was losing and he changed everything on his own and it was an eye opener for me because I wasn’t listening to what he needed and I fixed what I was doing. If you truly love him you won’t give up you’ll look for better solutions. If he truly loves you he will do the same. There is no take it or leave it in a relationship that is a child’s mentality. A relationship is 100/100 from both sides you always put in your best effort and you never walk away from the person you love. There’s days youll only be able to give 20% and your partner will have to put in the other 80 and there’s days your partner can only put in 20 and you’ll have to give 80.
One thing that has helped us is we take more time to ourselves now because our lives have been about our kids for so long we stopped taking care of us. If you don’t spend time together without your kid you won’t have anything left when they leave. You have to build your relationship while raising your kids and you can’t do that if y’all are 24/7 working and parenting you HAVE to make time for the two of you to have fun with just each other. It’s what keeps the spark alive because as soon as y’all stop doing things with each other is when you lose sight of why y’all fell in love in the first place.
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Have you thought about couple therapy?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
It’s simple, you leave.
Leave …honestly he kinda strung u along made u believe he wanted more n now he don’t so …I’d say bye 
Time to go separate ways. Men too are allowed to not want anymore children just as much as women.
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My bf now, this was what I said to him when we first got together and he understood that. He thought I was done having kids as mine were 9 & 7 when we met. His son was 1 1/2 but I’m thankful he agreed. With that said I would say if he doesn’t want any kids and you really do it sounds like it’s time for you to move on, life is short and do you really wanna waste time waiting for him to be ready or change his mind ? You could be wasting many more years or find someone who wants the exact same thing you do.
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I went thru this we were together about 5 years and I brought 4kids into the relationships and he had none my tubes were tied and I didn’t want anymore kids and I told him that in the beginning well as years went by he started expressing he really wanted at least one child of his own long story short we split up over it for about 1 month I was holding out hope he would change his mind but never did so I caved and agreeded to have another child aferall he raised all my kids that wasn’t biologically his hands down best decision of my life 20 years later all my other kids are grown moved out 4 grand kids and we have our little princess Ava who turns 10 this year the Lord has a plan follow your heart!
When you start questioning it.
You could grow resentful and even start hating him now that this trust was broken.
You know what you want.
Reality is you’re not likely going to meet a man willing to have a child right away either.
Your current will likely leave you to be a single parent should you conceive his.
Would the desire for another baby have you doing it alone? You could consider a sperm donor or have a conversation with your bf or someone you know and trust that would agree to something similar.
If you leave now you need to accept that finding a guy ready for kids may take a few more years. Are you willing to wait?
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If you were upfront from the being then it might be time to leave especially if it is a deal breaker. I told my boyfriend the first weekend of talking I wanted to get married and have more kids. I’ve got 1 and he has none. He was decently divorced but he said ok. We’ve been together almost a year now. But I told him my time frame. I said I wasted 4 years with someone who didn’t want to marry me so I’m not going to waste another 4 years if you don’t want to either. Everyone has a time frame and what they want from a relationship. If you aren’t on the same page then someone will end up settling and whoever does won’t be happy. It might be hard but if it’s a deal breaker you have to make a choice to leave or settle. As for trust that’s a hard thing to build back if it’s broken.
It wouldn’t be fair to him or you to stay in the relationship. You could settle and not have another kid , or he could settle and have another kid, but I feel either way it would create resentment down the road. It’s hard to say. At this point in time if he doesn’t and you do, you guys should maybe discuss going your own ways. And see where that lands everything after some time.
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Why can’t he make a decision to NOT have any more kids???
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I mean he went from 1 to 3 kids. You went from 2 to 3. It might take him a while to “want” another as he already has 2 more then before now. But if you want another so bad right now I’d say leave but your gonna be looking for a partner for a while and then should be waiting for a while when in another new relationship to start trying for another baby.
Either talk to him and see if there’s a chance that he will change his Mind in afew years when the kids are older and out of the house more. Or just leave and find someone else. But either way it could be another 2-3+ years before you get another.
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There is no hashing this out. Move on.
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I would not give away anymore reproduce time to this relationship.
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Maybe over those almost 3 years he decided yall have enough on your plate and he doesnt want to start over again. If you want him to consider your feelings on it then you need to consider his.
Enjoying your pregnancy… what about the next 18-24 (depending on schooling) years after your pregnancy?
The youngest is 7, can you really blame him for not wanting to start over?!?
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Hash it out some more. If he still won’t budge are you willing to give up on your dream of another baby. If not, then walk
If it’s a deal breaker- it’s a deal breaker. You have to figure that part out. If he deff has his mind set then you need to decide if you’ll be happy with life staying the way it is or will you hold resentment and find yourself back in this same position when it may be too late? Figure that part out and have that talk with him. From there you will know what to do
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You already said it was a deal breaker and since you already thinking about leaving then it’s time to leave honestly. If you don’t trust him even a little it’s time to leave.
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You follow your heart! And sometimes some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers 
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