It just might be that he’s deep into a depression. Even if he is, it isn’t your job to “fix” him, it’s his. IMO your first priority is your kids & it isn’t fair to them to have to live the way they are living. I say start looking for & screening some women for a new roommate, WATCH YOUR BACK & give him notice. Make sure that he knows that your friends & family are aware of your plans. There’s a better life ahead.
Time to let it go. If couples would sit down and discuss/agree on the practical stuff BEFORE cohabitation, things would work out much better.
What happened between him and your parents for him to feel so uncomfortable to follow you around? Does he pay the full rent now? Do you have rules in your house ? Or do your kids have full control of the home? We like to side with the mom all the time but there is two people here. Her side and his side. You need to talk to him. If you don’t know how to communicate with him. Write him a letter. Tell him how you feel. Explain positive changes that you both need to work on.
You knew it was time to end that relationship when he stopped holding doors open for you. 
Put his azz back in his playpen! You got adulting to do ma!!
you need to end the relationship because of your children he doesn’t help in any way its time to end it he doesn’t need to do that to your children that is your job you need to let him know that
Id say he was only pretending to be all those wonderful things at the start… and now your left with the real him. Get him out.
Never had problems like that----but had SIXTY years of marriage until my husband went to be with the Lord—try marriage some time.
I would talk and find out what’s wrong make him hear you if not its time to call it quits and move on that 75 to 25 does not cut it it suppose to be 50/50 especially if both of you are employed.
I think it’s a discussion to be had with him directly and sort his concerns ; in the end - if this is not going anywhere - move on
Sounds like he completely signed out of the relationship part of it. More like a lazy, mooch of a roommate now!
Maybe there are some things not being said, here:
If you object to him disciplining your kids when they are rude to him, then he is not being respected and is powerless to respond. That would leave most people feeling abused.
If your kids are free to abuse him and he can’t respond, then he may be feeling that he is not an equal in your relationship - seems like you are on one hand expecting him to contribute as an equal partner, and take on something of a caregiver role with your kids, yet he is not getting the respect he deserves.
When you describe the hostile attitude of your family members toward him, maybe no wonder he isn’t all warm and fuzzy about them, either !
I think sometimes a non-biological ‘parent’ has a very tough job, and in this case, being taken for granted.
If I were HIM, I’d be getting out of that situation pronto !
This is a domestic violence situation in the making he also
Sounds like he would accidentally/ internationally kill you
You, my dear, are stuck with a man child. The only way to rectify the situation is to leave him or kick him out. It will be hard on the kids at first and you’re going to have to get accustomed to being on your own and liking it. He will never change and when you make that serious decision and mean it, he’ll do one of two things: flip out and become manipulative, aggressive and even threatening, OR he’ll cry, beg for another chance and promise you the sun, moon, and stars.
Both reactions are meaningless. He may grow up a bit with the next girlfriend, but trust me, it’s over for ya’ll. I’ve walked this walk. You need a partner not a 3rd child.
In his defense, he probably doesn’t know how to act because he doesn’t have a clearly defined role. He’s neither your husband nor the kids’ father.
I’m sorry, but he’s going to do what’s easy every single time. If he can’t man up and make the decision to end it, then you must. Next time, pick a guy who’s been a bachelor for a while, paid bills, lived on his own. If you move in with a guy who goes from parent to you, YOU end up replacing the parent. It cannot be fixed.
I wish you well.
He pays all the rent, but controls the internet that you pay for, that’s not right! You pay 100% if you go out, that’s not right either you should pay for yourself and your children only. Depending on what the kid is being punished for taking stuff away is the right thing too, their are consequences for bad behavior, best they learn that now rather than later
Have you tried talking about everything? I’d start there abs if you have then maybe it is time to end it.
Is he on the lease? If he isn’t you could kick him out or maybe just find another place.
Imagine demonizing a man that came into your life and you already had 3 kids… If he left what would you do? Instead of talking to him you come on the internet and tell “your side” of the story and make him look like a bad man… 
When you ask that question…… it’s time
Sounds like there needs to be serious discussions …that are plans for recovering or moving♡
So why is he still there? I would think you were smarter than that…
If you sit or lie and talk about the direction the relationship is headed, ask him to go to counseling, and if he refuses, then it is time, but make preparations to make a transition, so that you will have support in the community, maybe someplace else! Start to think about you and your kids, who will be gone someday soon, Go back to school and learn a job, which can be done online, now! #doyou
Why are you still there? are you a “doormat”!
I feel like you know the answer to this already just by the way this question is written.
Red flags are there, run 
as fast as you can. Time for him to go!!
If you have to even ask, this relationship is already over.
Idk ur post doesn’t say anything about having talked to him about ur issues. U can’t expect people to know what’s going on in ur head or to know how to fix it, if ur not speaking up about what’s bothering you.
And with the family. I would probably be acting awkward as hell too if I felt like they were encouraging my significant other to leave me. 
Talk to him. If things don’t improve then you have ur answer.
Plan and simple show him the door
Sit down and have a talk with him, sort through your guy’s problems.
Definitely controlling cuz I had the same issue with him following me around (literally EVERYWHERE). He’s using you😩
It’s time for him to go!
Boot him out get on with your life and your kids. You won’t miss what little he is doing !
Sometimes I cannot wrap my head around such stupid people.
Time for a sit down. Why let this drag you down. Be bluntly honest about your needs n wants.
Time for a sharp harp
You want a partner not a project .
Don’t just walk away run while you can…
Just go too him and ask him if you can have a serious talk about the relationship
You already know what to do. Leave.
Bye bye…get rid of him, before he really messes you up!!!
Stop asking for help on the internet and go see a counselor
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Yep, call Dr Phil. He’s gone.
Get rid of him!! It won’t get any better.
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You got one of them there man boy pigs
What you see is what you get.
It’s time to let go… This can’t be fixed
Piss him off he’s taking you for granted.
Ship has sailed-abandon ship
obviously this guy does not clean the kitchen. what a waste of food!!!
He might be depressed. See if he will talk to a therapist. If he refuses and he turns it around on you, then it’s time to leave.
I’m not even sure why this is a question. If you feel like you have to type it out to a bunch of strangers online, you already know the answer.
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You ask a bunch of strangers how do you kniw its time to end a relationship, if you are asking is because you want confirmation not an answer.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
You know what to do. Certainly your heart is speaking. Listen
Ew sounds like a man child in the worst ways.
Lived with a guy like that. RUN DONT WALK
Get out or better ask him to leave
Use your common sense, girl.
You can do it on your own, lose the stress.
Sounds like to me he’s in a funk. If he pays the rent I don’t see the issue with you paying for other stuff. As far as punishing the kids by taking electronics away, that doesn’t sound so bad. I mean he’s not hitting it spanking them. Your mom says he’s controlling? Yet he follows you around when you are with them. Maybe he is uncomfortable. How do they treat him. So many facts you are leaving out. I say communication is key. Communicate with him not us. So many people here are putting wild ideas in your head that he’s abusing your kids or that you should dump him. I say talk to him first. He seems depressed to me. I’m speaking from experience. I withdrew myself too!
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Have you discussed punishing the kids with him? Taking away devices seems reasonable to me…especially for a “step” parent. Back talking is certainly punishable and if this person is supposed to be a father figure it would make sense that he is trying to father them. I don’t spank my kids but if I did I wouldn’t be comfortable with someone who wasn’t their bio dad doling out that sort of punishment…so removing devices makes sense for me. But if he has never punished them before it is possible he is going through something or he is just tired of their shit. Idk what is going on with him not paying…maybe he is going through something and it is messing with how he normally does things…maybe he is just spacin. Have you asked him to pay? What do you mean by he controls the internet? If he follows you around it may be because he feels awkward and wants you near him. Best bet is to TALK to the man and find out what is happening.
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Now. Now is the time. Also please be careful moving guys in around your daughters. The stats skyrocket for molestation when it isnt a parent.
Get rid of him for your children’s sake. This is a poor example of a relationship. You need to model one so they aren’t doing the same thing later.
Maybe he is overwhelm and doesn’t know how to talk to you about it.
Why should it change he has everything he wants without any commitment. 
You’ve answered your own questions.
Dump him before it’s too late
What is this “Dear Abby”… ???
It’s pretty much over
Dump his sorry, lazy ass.
Ooo, no ma’am. Tell him bye soon✌🏻
Luk Skywalker I’m your Father
Kick him to the curb
Get rid of him Now ! !
You already know what to do
Put them in the Corner ha ha ha ha
Time for him to go !!
This is not hard if you are really a good mother. Shame on you for putting some bizarre need for a male in the house before your children’s mental health. Did you grow up with no Dad or one who was a bum because your idea of family lfe indicates you need some therapy.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
You really have to ask this? Should have left after the FIRST time he put his hands on you.
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I think with this message you’ve answered the question yourself it’s time!!
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Don’t stay with a man who is neglectful to your children or brings abuse into your home. Leave. Leave. Leave.
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He’s a bum
Show him the curb
Sounds like it’s awful, you don’t want to stay in a relationship we’re your miserable. Even if u try time apart might make the heart grow fonder
The moment he put his hands on you should have been the end. Get out now. Before it’s gets worse.
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Leave. You don’t need your kids growing up thinking it’s acceptable behavior to put their hands on someone or for someone to put their hands on them.
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This is the fourth time in three days that you have posted this dilemma just with different wording.
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Leave. If you don’t have friends or family to stay with, find a shelter. They have resources to guide you to get on your feet financially.
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Wow. Stories like this make me glad I left an unhealthy relationship and am happily single. Sounds like you need out.
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He’s telling you what he wants by his actions. You are not listening. This way he can say you kicked him out. This is where you get your life together. It’s hard but do able.
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Run . Been there it will continue
Apply for low income housing. Make a plan and get out. The sooner the better.
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You need to reread what you wrote and ask yourself where the question is. What happy family?
Your answer is already there you don’t need us. 
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4th sentence in and I already knew. Those are a lot of red flags that have been ignored. There’s no excuse for being treated that way. Get out!
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Go get yourself some assistance. Get out. Find yourself an income and raise your babies in a safer environment! Don’t let them grow up thinking that it’s ok to abuse or be abused!
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Please leave, a broken home is better than your kids seeing you in a casket. It’s only going to get worse, and he may move onto hitting them eventually! My kids dad and I split a while back, and they’ve never once blamed me for not having their dad under the same roof. They like happy mom.
Leave. I stopped reading at put hands on. Leave. Now. Run don’t walk.
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He doesn’t want to take responsibility for ending things.
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Girl figure out a way to leave him! You should have never stayed after the first time he put his hands on you! Start saving as much money as you can. If you go grocery shopping, start putting a little of that money back each week! Apply for assistance. Get yourself on a low income housing list now! Start figuring things out. Leave him, he’s useless.
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I would have left as soon he cheated or laid his hands on me that first time. I say your relationship has been long past over.
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