Not to sound or be rude but You’re looking for clarification… you already know the answer. He does not respect you at all… but one thing I don’t understand is how all these women say their husband/man “helps” with the kids. No, it shouldn’t be “helping” he should just be a parent just as much as the mom it’s what parents do! The only thing he should be “helping” with is house chores. The mom isn’t the only parent, it takes two!
I would try to find a job you can work during the night, look into low income housing or women’s shelter you could go to, then call a social worker to help get day care and help with other places that could assist you in getting out. You have to think about the kids in this situation, get away from him and make you and your kids life better.
You should of left the second he put his hands on you
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Get a job with hours that he’s at home and tell him he’s watching his kids and then put money away and save to move out or you can call around to places that help women with children and they will help you get on your feet…Your kids being in an unhappy home is way worse then you moving out.Never stay for sake of the child it doesn’t get better it gets worse.Your leading by example you don’t want them to see all that.You deserve to be happy and that’s what your kids will want.My kids asked me why I stayed with my ex I said I didn’t want them to be upset and they all said they just wanted me happy…When your ready to leave nothing will stand in your way.
Leave now while you got the chance don’t be stupid start putting money away and leave
No woman would put up with that why are you
Your kids are 2 & 4. They are not going to blame you for having a “broken family”
Think about what they are witnessing and experiencing in your house. Do you want them to grow up and think that this is how relationships and families love and help each other out?
Your bf’s behavior and actions are NOT ok. There is help out there. There are resources out there. You do not have to stay in an abusive relationship. Do your kids a favor and leave him and build a positive and happy life for you.
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Get a job put the kids In childcare.
He got you trapped. Start planning, stashing cash, and work on getting a job. It may take a minute but you definitely need to get out of there. There’s a helpline for that: 1-800-799-7233(SAFE).
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Your kids will hate u more for staying !!
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U have to be happy too! It is NOT being selfish for wanting to be happy and to have those things…ur children will understand…i went through this for 12 years and 3 kids later, i left because i needed to be happy too. My kids fully understand and still love us both!
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Kids need to have happy parents, whether they’re together or not. There are TONS of resources available for single mothers trying to improve their circumstances. Don’t be afraid to leave, girl. You deserve to be happy, and you’ll be a better mother because of it. It won’t be easy at first, but in the end you’ll be glad you did.I speak from experience.
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All these people saying “ your kids will hate you, don’t be stupid…” that’s not helping her. So stop!!! My advice is yes I would leave, but we can only tell you our opinion… you girl YOU make your decisions at the end of the day. YOU know what you want/ need to do.
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Get out of the relationship fast. If he’s been hitting you there are places out there that will help,sallies can direct you in the right direction
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You should’ve left when he first put hands on you
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Ok 1. You DO work a lot. 2. If you can put some $ aside for your own place do that ASAP. If it is your apt under your name tell him to.go play on his phone and be worthless on his own time.
Leave while they’re young and so are you. You need to get a job. Save money. Get a consultation with a lawyer and write down all of your questions before hand so you are prepared. He will have to help support his children. Put the little one in daycare and your 4 year old can be in school as well. You can do this! 
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You can receive domestic violence assistance. Call your local dhs. Also you got kids right? Go get on tanf( temporary assistance for needy families) 506 a month is what i get for 3 in my household. It literally helps. Also apply for housing assistance. Seriously get on this, the quicker you do, the quicker your out. Also file for full custody so he cant take your babies. Good luck momma
When you have to ask.
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Girl you’re already doing it alone. You can’t stay with someone just because you have children together.
Kids go to daycare, you start working towards a financial goal. Once you reach the goal make a move that makes YOU happy. Your kids won’t blame you for a broken family but they will blame you for not leaving. You deserve better, period! Best of wishes…and if you read this and need someone to talk to PM me 
Sounds like its already a broken family and should have been once he cheated. Staying together for the kids is a bad idea. Does more harm in that kind of situation than good
Fuckin leave before he kills ya. Or hurts the kids. Seriously. “He puts his hands on me but should i leave?” DUH. NO SHIT. YOU DESERVE BETTER
Now. Now is a great time!
Unfortunately,if you have to ask you will probably go back. I left mine with four kids and a camper trailer my friend had. You need to find a job. Everyone is hiring now with or without experience. Set a goal and keep it. It won,t easy but if you really want to get out you can.
Did you give birth to boys?
You guys are still a family, just live separately … you’re not breaking anything if you have tried and he doesn’t want to or chooses by to change.
I am sorry you’re going through this, but I know your children will be happy that you left because nobody deserves to be “stuck” in a relationship.
They will see the both of you happy without each other and that’s the best gift you could give your children.
Why are you allowing that shit? Get help….get away… don’t let anything stop you!!!
Uummm yes leave unless you like physical and verbal abuse.
While I feel you should have left a long time ago, please leave now. It will be hard but you can do it
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You are stronger than you think mama, do not settle for less than you deserve. You need to think about your mental health and staying is not healthy for you. Your babies will understand and feel safe knowing mama is happy. Prepare yourself mama and unleash that warrior waiting to take control of the current situation.
You got this 
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The time to leave is at the fifth sentence of this paragraph.
Get a job save up enough to get out file a parenting plan and get out.
Get out now he not worth you.
Time to get out know
Please do it now dont be like me as i only had physical for short time but i have done mental abuse for 20yrs an it has taken this long for me to say enough is enough the longer you leave it your kids wear it they learn the behavior of that person an think its ok to treat a person that way stop it now please i am teaching my 11yr old its not ok an its hard so please get out while you can please
Trust me….
Your kid’s will be much happier if you two separate. Find a way.
#1 reach out to family and friends, #2 get whatever job you can, #3 government help, get out, set a good example for your kids, he isnt doing so for you or his own kids, its not going to be easy but it will so be worth it and your kids will see your strength and you will all be better off!
Are you kidding what else Hass to go wrong before you get out of there
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You CAN get a job and get help from the state with child care next time he does ANYTHING to hurt you , you put his ass in jail ! File a restraining order apply for help from state with things there is help out there even if you have to run away to a woman’s shelter they will set you up with jobs child care and help find housing / apartments . You can do it on your own woman do not need a man to take care of them sure it’s nice but we don’t need it to Survive. I hope this don’t sound to harsh but I just really hope you get you and your babies out of that situation. Some people don’t leave in time to get a good chance to make it out there have been men who have killed their whole family , wife and children just because they wanted a different life and thought that was the only way to do it . Be smart , make the calls , come up with a plan . Be SAFE . It’s gonna be hard it will NOT be easy but once the hardest part is done you will be so proud of yourself your children will be so proud of you and most importantly you will be happy . And it will be worth it .
Dump him. He’s trash. Sue for child support. He’s very abusive.
You say you don’t want your children to be from a “broken family”? Let me inform you, it already is. Not having a job is temporary and not a reason to sacrifice your self worth or your children’s future. Stand on front of a mirror and have a heart to heart with who is staring back at you. Tell the reflection what you would say to your best friend. Then act on it. Best wishes.
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Get a job and leave.
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Seriously? You need to ask if you should leave.
Other than your 2 children, there is nothing loving, good or happy in that relationship.
Get a job. He only works 4 days a week anyway
It was time to get out qhen he first laid hands out u. I know u love him, but is loving him worth making ur kids think that thats how love is? That love is treating the other like crap, physically hurting them and not making u happy? You are worth sonmuch more than you know. And ur kids deserve a happy mother. It takes alot but u can do it. And you’ll be happier after u get out. I was in a relationship like that, dude was an alcoholic. Kept going round n round in circles until i was finally brave enough to do it alone. Youre worth so much more. Get out while u can, youre strong enough. U dont need to be treated like that. U can do this.
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It is way past time to get out try to get a job at a daycare that can give you a job and take the kids with you and meanwhile try to find an income based apartment
Girl . What else are you waiting for ? Leave his sorry ass!
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Leave! The issue is him but he will blame everyone and everything else but the problems will follow him!
You already answered your own question. You need to run.
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You know it’s time to end it when you are asking if you should.
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Government help for now. Leave. Then, once your settled, look for another way to not have to use the Government help!
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Day care get a job and get some independence then leave
You’re kids are young, this is the best time. Get a job, save and leave.
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I would end the relationship ASAP. You named off all the reasons it would be wise to leave (and is obviously overdue)… Not happy. Cheated. Physically and emotionally abusive. Show your kids that it’s ok to leave a toxic environment.
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I think kids are super clever and they pick up on a lot more than they let on. Would they be glad you stayed in an abusive marriage? They’re growing up seeing their parents fight and learning this is how a man treats a woman. This is coming from personal experience. I’m SO glad my mum left my dad. My relationship with my mum was amazing as a child.
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When you start questioning if you should leave a relationship, that’s when you should leave a relationship. Your kids would absolutely rather have 2 separate parents that are happy, than live in a toxic home environment. Good luck, you don’t deserve that.
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A healthy mind is what you need to be a mother and you do not have one therefore if you love your babies put them first and don’t question being in a unhealthy relationship to give them 100% of you, a happy healthy mental mom. Quit making excuse for him saying he works several men work and still have dad duties, and provide. You work taking care them babies know your worth. Work on getting on your feet to better your situation don’t let this man handle you like this he is destroying you and treating you this way because he feel you need him . A straight NARCISSIST.
Start looking for a job now while he is still there and you will be able to support yourself and your children that’s not healthy for you or your children go separate ways you won’t regret it
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Get yourself a job and daycare for the littles and get out. Once he puts his hands on you and called you names in front of YOUR ALLS kids was the moment he quit caring what happens or how. Leave you should never stay for the kids because it never works out.
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You said it in the first sentence I’m Not Happy. That’s your answer.
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Staying in a unhappy relationship because of the children is not ok your children will be ok start looking for a job put your children in daycare.He wants you to depend on him get your self in order.He know you got going anywhere because you depend on him show him different better yet show yourself
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There are places for abused women and there children find one.They will help it may not b what you want but it’s a start. I no you been together for a while but dont let that stop you ? I was in a relationship for 19 years.He was mentally abusive.I got out and doing well He thought i wasn’t going to b able to take care of my self i showed him.My point you can do anything you put your mind on
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He really doesn’t deserve you if he puts his hands on you and insults you. He is obviously not the man you fell in love with let go of him and be happy again x
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I stayed in 48 years today. My kids are grown with kids of their own. They learned a lot by watching us. I thought I was staying in for them. They are a mess as adults. You are not doing your kids a favor by staying in.
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As hard as it is to leave,if u arent happy theres no point,in all honesty hes acting like hes trying to push u out,i cant stand it when males dont help with the children thats just lazy n hes not watching them for u to go out cause he nos your not happy n might look else where for that happy.your not stuck financially with him u have options ring winz ,or look into child care n start applying for own jobs u dont need a ungrateful partner thinking hes king pin cause he provides.
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the moment he put his hands on you and / or disrespected you in front of your children, you should have known that was the time for you to leave. it’s hard to leave those situations, I know. but do what’s best for yourself and your babies.
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Go get a job, ANY job for now, preferably one with a hiring bonus and can offer you benefits (it’s not a deal break without that though you can always switch to a better job later) to begin to build your financial stability for yourself and your kids. Then you start looking for a way out of your current living situation immediately. Whether it’s bunking with family or friends until you get on your feet enough to get your own place. Leave and never look back and focus on healing for yourself and your kids. Trust me you do NOT need that kind of stress and there is life beyond a man that stands by and treats you like a maid and a personal babysitter for his own personal benefit.
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Look into state day care your oldest is old enough for preschool and depending on your state day care can be paid on a curve. The state will help pick up the rest. But once he got physical it was time to go! Good luck and God Bless!
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Tough love here, you let a man lay hands on you and cheat on you… Your kids are watching.
Is that the example you want for them?
Girl, you are worth more than that!
Get into counseling.
Go back to school or get a job. ASAP!!
Go on social services if you have to. Do it for those kids and for you!!
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Sounds like you need to go your own way.
All you need is your KIDS and will get thru it.
Sounds like theres no love there and its just an attachment.
Sending you:heart:
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if he put his hands on you, he’ll put his hands on your kids, pack your stuff girl
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Your going to strongly dislike yourself when you come to your senses the fact that you allowed someone to treat you like this. This is mental, physically, and emotional abuse mental abuse is more torturing than verbally. Why would you want to be with someone who breaks you to the core. Put you and your kids first you have no place in his life that’s why he treat you the way he does. Pray and ask God for your strength to move forward it may be hard but as the days go by it will become easier and you will be come happy, and see this is how life should be. I didn’t say it would be a easy road it may feel as if your life is crumbling down until you adapt to change for the better being on your own with your babies until you are healed from this terrible relationship. It’s someone out there that can give you the love and a family with your babies what one man want do another will. Please don’t think that your a bad mother because you are removing yourself from some toxic unhealthy sh!t. A Man that wants a family and love them will do right by them to be apart of their life daily meaning living in home and more. Can’t be weak sister you have to cry it out and move forward .
The moment he put hands on you its time to leave babe. Even if your kids don’t see that act they know bc I dunno they feel they relationship change?
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Leave, Exsactly what happened to me. You’ll feel lost first few months but you’ll get back on your feet and you’ll look back and think why you didn’t leave sooner
I see hits cheats … and stopped reading there that’s a big no …. Your kids are watching is that what you want them to think is normal/ok?
Get a job on the three days he is not working. That will likely bring everything to a head quickly.
Prior to that:
access a support Network to prepare for the likelihood you are leaving. Hopefully he will pay the required child support and not go MIA.
You’re working weekends will prepare him for the weekends he has the children. Do not under any circumstances agree to Shared Custody, don’t do it!
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If you r stronger enough to do it on your own leave
Ditch him, cheating is a 1st ditch but hitting and verbal abuse is a definite bye! Your kids are gonna think that it’s ok to have an abusive relationship
I’m in the same boat and honey I’m about to leave Ive finally been fed up everything seems to fall on me and I get treated like a fuxking child
I’ll tell you first hand kids will understand in the long run staying hurts them most. They see nothing but hurt on you and they need to ser mommy happy
Girl you living with a roommate not a boyfriend🙄
It’s not good for the kids to be around that x
Shoulda left a long time ago. Like when he put his hands on u
If the abuse is getting seemingly worse, the time to leave is NOW💛
Sounds like my ex twin . Dated for 9 years . Basically a spoiled brat taking you for granted . Get rid of him . Was the best thing I did 7 months ago and I’m now In a happy healthy relationship where both of us do 50/50 in the home no matter what
Get rid of him with the trash hunni my ex was same they only get worse x
If you have to ask, it’s time to go.
Leave the sucker! You deserve better! Find what makes you happy.
All of the things you’ve mentioned I’m surprised you had to even ask …
Uh, he’s laid hands on you - that’s enough for me.
Definitely make a plan. Start applying for everything now, and look for a decent job.luckily everything is hiring. Look into daycare etc…some will work with your income…I’m just saying dont impulsively say fuck you to him without anywhere to go right away or itll just be a bad situation. If he hits you again do your future self a favor and call the cops so theres proof. Then you can claim to be a domestic abuse victim and you can get more help in some cases.I understand not wanting a broken family but if hes being abusive it’s not worth it. Its rough and depressing asf at first but over time you grow and figure it all out.
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Girl you need to leave. It’s not going to change. Go to court set days for him to have the kids and document everything. You are going to have to break down and move in with family or a friend. You need to get a job to afford a place. I been there. It was tough. But I needed out. What he is doing to you is abuse. Then the kids will see its okay to treat you that way. If family isn’t an option then you need to find help especially with the Kids so you can work.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
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LEAVEor Kick him OUT! The kids don’t need to see all that is going on!!! Good luck!
If he cheats, it’s over, no exceptions.
I got help from the state till I could get a job and get on my feet.
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Pray and let God lead you
Kick him to the curb! Worthless
Kids would rather be from a broken family than live in one. Get your ducks in order…make a plan.
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