He can find out truth when older if need be. Leave it for now
I explained ‘big boy time out’
I said sometimes Daddy’s don’t listen to the rules and then they have to go far away to big boy time out for a long time. Then soon they won’t be in trouble anymore and they can come back.
Be honest as you can with a 4 year old , it’s not right to keep the lie going
How much longer will his dad be in there? I’m gonna have trouble explaining to mine that his dad died.
I think he is too young today right now. People may ask him “where is your dad $”. And he might just tell them.
Yes don’t tell him he is too young to deal with this, fathers are their hero,s
My twins r 8 now and I’ve just been honest with them from the beginning…but as soon as my girl twin could talk she’d ask any grown man she saw like in the grocery store “will u be my daddy??” It was heartbreaking!
Just put it on hold for now. You can tell him when he is a young adult and can understand it more.
I wouldn’t tell him. My friend told her kids their dad was on jail, the son grew up hating his dad.
I’d keep telling him daddy is working, his dad should tell him when he is out of prison
B honest wit him daddy made a mistake& he’s in a place where he has to make up for that mistake. When he’s done then he can come home.
Keep the work concept up… his dad is his hero in his eyes…
Tell him he’s at work. My daughter is 8 and I tell her that her aunts ate on holiday/ vacation when they check themselves into mental health centers.
Daddy is on a time out. He did something naughty. As he gets older time out for adults is a place called jail…
Be honest to the child never lie to them That hurt more. Limit the details but be honest
Hes at work. That’s not a burden a 4 year old needs
I tell my kids my husband is in time out and that we aren’t sure when he’s going to be out of time out
I’d be as open and honest as you can to an extent since he’s still pretty young
I would leave that conversation to dad…he is t hug e one who made that choice and he should be the one to have that conversation…
I tell mine due to the dad not being out tell kid us about 12 that dad got in trouble and has to deal with the problem from getting in trouble.
He’s not too young he’ll under stand what you are saying please be truthfully with him he will learn sooner or later what prison is
My daughters father was in jail for her birth.
I still to this day (11 years later) tell her he was working and unable to come back.
Let dad explain in tbe next phone call in simple fashion why he is not thwre.
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I wouldn’t tell him, wait until the dad is out and then let the dad talk to you son.
100%. Daddy s in time-out, just like when you don’t behave you go to time out. Well daddy didn’t follow the rules and has some time out to do too
I would only say dads gone or dads busy & maybe put his dad in charge of that
The truth. When he finds out for himself he will want to know why you lied to him.
No don’t tell him it would probably break his heart when he is old enough to understand and let it be his dad that tells him
I miss spelled I mean talk to God but I think he is to young tellhi later about his dad when he can handle it I hope this he!PS my heart goes out to you sir
When I was in jail for like a year my mom told my daughter in was away at school.
I believe u should b honest with them if there asking there no reason 2 keep it from him
We tell our kids that daddy is on vacation for a while… 
I went through this with both my kids. We told them that he was working while he was serving 3years. We aren’t together anymore but hes out and sees them regularly. It’s not my place to tell my kids where he was, so I’m leaving that up to him when he’s ready. But he will tell them eventually. They’re 8 and 6 now and i think it’s still too young. To each their own.
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I told my 4 year old he was in big boy time out
4bto young to understand . Maybe tell her years later
What does 4 year old say when the recording during the phone call says the caller is from a prison?
He’s small he don’t need to know… not at 4,5, or 6. If he was 10 or 11 yeah but not that small
Have you talked to his dad about it? I would see what his insight is
I worked in a prek class and had a 4-year-old tell me daddy made a bad choice and is in big boy time out.
What does his dad want you to tell him? Do that.
I’d stick with “he’s gone to work”.
Don’t tell him right now. He’s too little to understand.
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I would tell him and be 100% honest it’s not a bad lesson for him to learn
I was raised to tell the truth but in this he is so young this is a hard died ask
Be honest. Sometimes people go to jail for doing bad things, but not every person in jail is bad. My ex husband (6 year olds father) is in prison, and I had to tell him so. I will explain why later, but for now he knows its because he hurt him and his brother, and hurting people is against the law.
Kids aren’t stupid, talk to them like little adults and they will usually understand.
Hes young enough id leave it how it is right now. 2 yrs left hell b only six I wouldnt put that weight on his shoulders
Im sorry your having to deal with this. I want share with you this is the same thing that happened in my life 35 yrs ago and I had a 4 yr son and a newborn .
Anyways I prayed a lot and I mean a lot and one day my 4 yr old was playing outside and he come running in the house and mom come look Jesus is in the sky saying don’t worry son your daddy will be home real soon, my son kept saying mom look.
Well my husband was sentence to 5-25 yrs and so I finally agreed with son but told I’m sorry daddy won’t back for a long time and explained to him what his daddy did and where he was out. My son said but mom Jesus said real soon and do you know his lawyer called me that afternoon and said be at the court room at 9:00 am they’re bringing my husband back and putting him on probation .and the next morning it happened a miracle from God. Now my son is 41 and is a strong believer in God.
Im sorry I took up so much of your time but I wanted to share this with you. And who knows miracles are done every day
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I went to jail for 4 months when my girls was 3 and 5. I told them myself that I was In Jail for making the bad decision I made. I talked to them every evening (which helped them understand how jail worked). It is very painful to be in this situation. I cried so many times. And because of my decision , I hurt them. Because the cry of mommy you wasn’t there for this soccer season or mommy you missed my awards ceremony. But now it is 12 years later and they do from time to time talk about the time mommy went to jail. We are very close family and my husband was very supportive of telling them the truth. Believe me when I say always being truthful is best when it comes to your children. Your bond will be stronger in years to come! I Wouldnt change that part of my life tho because without going to jail i might of turned out a lot different than I am now. I Love my family.
If you start with a lie then your relationship will go down. when They get older they then will start to understand that you lied to them! It’s hurtful to be lied too.
jo jhuth ache k lie bola jaye… oe jo sch ache k lie chupaya jaye… vo kbhi galat nhi hota…bacha h apka or unka… vo baat krta h apne father se…pyar to ho hi gya use… kyu bta rhe ho… jb 2 yrs or hai… bada hoga apne ap pta chl jayega. or jruri nhi ki bde hoke bhi use past btay jaye. 
be strong… he ia just 4 years
The truth my girl. Life isn’t perfect and that’s okay.
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My daughters fagher was arrested for 2 yrs when my daughter was about that age. She is 17 now and is having a great relationship with her father. When she asked me where her dad was during that time I just simply told her " Daddy had to go away to a school where he is learning a lesson he will be home as soon as he is able too" that seem to gk over just fine I wasnt lying he was doing time to learn a lesson from his past mistakes.
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Have his father tell him when he is old enough to understand
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Make it a learning experience, explaining it to him like he will understand. Kids are very smart
He doesn’t need to know the truth right now.
Well if u taught him bad people go to jail and that’s where his dad is then u can’t go back on that now. If he shouldn’t be labeled “bad” because of his 1 bad decision why would u place that label on all people in jail to begin with? I know that’s off topic but it’s just a bit hypocritical in my opinion. Maybe you should explain that sometimes good people do bad things and they have to go to jail until they can be good again. Idk just a thought.
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I would tell him the truth , but turn it I to a “teaching moment”
Well technically…
He issss working…
Just working on himself…
Working off his sentence for his bad decisions.
He is kind of at work. It’s his job to serve time right now.
Daddy made a bad decision and he is in time out
He is at work.Working killing time to be with his family
No hes to young just say he works away
Everyone makes bad choices or mistakes in life
He’s too young to understand imo.
Tell him the truth but in a nice elegant way
I would tell him. He will need to know so you can take him to visit. He has the right to know his dad.
Well if I were you I’d continue to lie to my Child to protect the Pos that left me to raise him as a single mother. We must protect those deadbeat dads at all costs!! And what makes you think he’s going to waltz out of there in a few years and instantly turn into Ward Cleaver?? Good luck dear but I’d stay faithful in my relationship with my Child and leave his fatherly duties to him. IF/ when he gets out!!!
We lie to our children often Santa, tooth fairy, happily ever after. I believe it is good to let him continue to believe that jail/prison is where you go when you’re bad. I don’t see anything wrong with letting him at his young age continue to believe his dad is working. Hopefully his dad has learned his lesson and doesn’t put you in this shitty situation again.
Tell him the truth at least I would
I don’t think a 4 year old would completely understand everything involved with that. I mean, maybe if you tell him that daddy made a mistake and he is making up for his mistake. I just don’t know how you would even go about that. I don’t agree in lying to our kids either. I just think that finding the best way to talk to him about it, is what matters. I am sorry that you and your son our in this position. Your son will obviously figure it out eventually. So maybe just say that his dad made some mistakes and he has been gone because he needs to make up for those mistakes. That daddy has a choice to not make mistakes anymore after he gets home. He needs to get the details of it but in a kid version. I explain to my son about getting in trouble and making poor decisions can affect your life in a lot of ways. So that it is important to do your best to be a good person and not make those mistakes. That he has a choice to do right or wrong and life is easier and more fun when you make the good choice. So my son always understands what I am talking/teaching him about because I always break it down for him. This is a tough decision for you. Will it benefit your son to know the truth right now? What will be the pros and cons of him knowing that his dad is in jail? I see some good, but I also see a lot of bad about him knowing. I am just thinking of how this can effect his emotions that he is still learning about. Will he go around and tell everyone that his dad is in jail? Ugh. I am sorry that you are in this position. Sending positive vibes during this. If you do decide to tell him, I would suggest it be a very long talk and make sure that he is emotionally ok and understands.
I wouldn’t tell him. I’d say he was in another country working and he can’t see him for a little while. Just remind him his daddy loves him very much and can’t wait to see him. I say this because you want him to look at his father as a good guy and it might confuse him and cause him stress or depression if you tell him the truth. When his dad is out let him have the choice of whether he wants him to know or not.
Honesty is still the best
He’s out of town working
Be honest. He will end up resenting you if not.
He’s 4…once he’s older you can explain.
I’d tell him but in ways he’d understand.
I’d keep the wirk thing going… hes too young
Just be honest. He made a bad choice.
100% always in a kind way
Jail is a time out for grown ups u can say
The truth shall set you free - not your cross to bear
I have been through this so if you want to pm me I might be able to help
Never ever lie to your children!
I told my kids the truth at the same age. I think it’s better to tell the truth. Kids arent as dumb and incapable of handling things as you think unless you’re babying them too much. You can teach them that people make mistakes. But, are you sure his father isnt a bad person or are you making excuses for it? I see it all the time. Guys who were abusive, deals drugs, armed robbery, etc and their partners always made excuses for it. Either way, it doesnt matter what you tell him. When he gets older he can still come to the conclusion that his father is a bad guy.
Tell them the truth to their ages level.
If he asks tell him just explain it in a way he can comprehend it. Kids are very black and white in their thinking
Be honest and tell him his daddy is jail bait
Tell him in a kids way of understanding…
Don’t tell him till he’s old enough to differentiate the 2
Please explain to me how anyone in prison is a good guy. Good honest people don’t go to prison unless the law made a mistake.
The first mistake is teaching him “only bad people go to jail” that’s where you went wrong first. Kicked you right in the butt 
. You teach them that when people make mistakes they have consequences. Just like children do adults do to. If his dad made a mistake and is paying for it why not teach him that. It’s the truth. He will learn from his dad’s mistakes and know not to do that but you just lie to him? Maybe it’s time to teach our kids reality of life so they know what to avoid instead of sugar coating real life situations. Teach them.
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100% but maybe wait til he’s closer to 10 or so. You will know when he’s mature enough for that stuff.
My daughter’s father was jailed for life when she was 14 months old. She is 8.5 years now.
Let’s face it people are generally in jail/prison for a reason. It isn’t just a bad decision like wearing orange and pink to a Christmas party, but a choice to break the law. It is also a decision and does not have to define a person if he chooses to change and stay on the right side of the law after jail.
Your son is old enough to understand that police are good people doing a tough job. His Dad made a decision that is forgivable (a good lesson in forgiveness) but first he has to deal with consequences (talk about consequences and why it is important to live a moral life).
4 year olds CAN understand if we help them and it doesn’t have to be bad.
Let him know it is more than ok to love his Dad and he excited for the day Dad is back home.
You can be honest with him, talk to him in a way that he understands and protect his heart. As he continues to grow up he will appreciate your honesty and trust you more.
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Limited until your child is older
He’s to young to understand, I wouldn’t tell him
There are age appropriate books on how to explain or tell your child about a parent who’s in jail/ prison do some research in that direction and then follow your gut instinct on what to do! Everyone’s situation is different plus talk to his dad about it and find out what he thinks after all it’s going to affect him to.
I believe in telling kids the truth no matter the age. One of my neighbors kids biological dad is in and out of jail and owes her thousands in child support, they have never met and he won’t sign over his rights even though her husband is willing to adopt them. She told them everything about him and what kind of person he is so they know about that. They had also knew that their uncle (her kids were very attached to him) who was my boyfriend at the time had been in jail a few times before and after we were together. But when my neighbors dad (they also were very attached) was in jail even though he was innocent she told her kids (at that point they were 7 and 9) that grandpa was working at a rodeo way out west and didn’t have time to call and talk to them, even though he always had called them. I was told by my boyfriend not to say anything because it might upset them but I didn’t know what the big deal was and told them anyways because if they could handle knowing their uncle was in and out then they could handle grandpa being in for something he did not do. (He was proven innocent by the way.) Then when they had talked about it with their uncle my boyfriend asked why I told them I said that lying was not a good idea because they thought they did something wrong if grandpa didn’t have time to talk to them. But him and my neighbor stuck to the story that grandpa was in the rodeo. I tell my daughter who is 11 but doesn’t understand things because she intellectually disabled things all the time about the things her dad does and says when he doesn’t see her because its the truth. I’m just one of those people that prefers to be honest than be a liar and I prefer people to be honest than lie.
I was in the same predicament. My sons dad was incarcerated when my son was 1. We also did phone calls so my son would recognize his voice. I never lied. When the questions came, i was honest. I didn’t say bad ppl go to jail. I said breaking the rules had consequences. Like he would get time out for throwing toys, his dad broke an important rule(law). So the consequence is jail, and i gave a brief idea of what jail is to my son. As he got older and asked what law his dad broke, honest again. I explained that ppl are required to have paperwork done when buying or selling guns, his dad didn’t do the paperwork so his consequence for that was jail. My kids are familiar with firearms and we practice gun safety and currently teaching how to handle and shoot. But they also know the rules pertaining to firearms. So, the explanation was a simple one for my son to grasp. His father was incarcerated until a few months ago, visits were done when i could. My son has no issue interacting with his father today, it’s like he’s been around the whole time. My son is almost 8 now and has no issues with his dad. My mother raised my neice while my sister was incarcerated. My mother used the work scenario for her. Big issue came with that bcuz my neice began to see the situation as voluntary. Like her mother was choosing to be at work rather than with her. Now my neice and her mother really struggle to get along, she’s 18, no resurrect for her mom bcuz all she was told those years was lies. I witnessed my neice dealing with the anger from youth. That’s why i chose honesty myself. We can definitely teach our kids the differences between good n bad ppl v good n bad behaviors. That’s what i did. Just my experiences with this situation.
I would cut him off. Why would you want someone like that in your child’s life?! Even if that man is the father, he’s not a good person and clearly can’t make good or responsible choices. He’s not someone that should be around a child, ever. That child deserves so much better. I wouldn’t even bother telling him the kind of person his father is. Just cut off the father and move on with my life.
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He may understand a little bit about what’s going on I would keep the positivity until his father walks out of that prison and then I think it’s up to dad and him because he can explain it better maybe unless he starts asking questions I would probably wait till dad gets out
He needs to know that yes-bad people go to jail. But so do good people who made some bad choices and they had to have a “time out” basically to learn to make good choices again. There a lot of GREAT people who served time. There is really never too young of an age to teach that choices have consequences-good and bad.