Your house your rules. In my house everyone cleans after themselves aside from the tiny guy. I’m not a maid. 
4 Likes
If your at home
Your job is to take care of the home and children.
10 Likes
I believe that you and your husband decide what works best for yall. If you’re a STAHM, you should have time for both your upkeep and your children.
3 Likes
I mean, if I’m home and don’t work, the LEAST that I can do is make sure the house is tidy and everyone gets fed. No, it’s not a “woman’s job.” It’s the job of whomever stays home to take care of the house. Simple as that. No one wants to marry or date someone lazy and can’t equally prioritize making sure their house isn’t filthy and take care of the kids.
3 Likes
Honestly, I would ignore her. She is set in her ways and it’s not going to change. She is right if it was in her time and age. But times have changed. Keep doing what you are doing, especially if it’s not bothering your husband. If he helps it’s okay. But Honestly don’t leave all of the cooking and cleaning up to him. Make sure you help out. I clean once the Kids are in bed, make dinner together. Or switch off every day. But you both are partners you both can do it. My ex thought I should be his maid. I use to have the house spotless then he came home trashed it and said I never cleaned and then told me I am supposed to follow him and clean up his mess. I also have chronic pain and it would keep me from cleaning as much. But when you have kids you can’t always keep it clean. This is way I wait till they are in bed and clean. Makes playing with the kids and teaching them less stressful and more fun.
I mean if you don’t work and you stay home all day you should be able to give time to keep your house tidy and prepare a meal. When I was working I did my best but once I went full blown self employed I still made sure my home was clean and my family was fed dinner every night. I also only have 1 child who can assist with light cleaning. She is also responsible for her own room. While I don’t think it’s a woman’s job, I do think it’s the responsibility of the person who stays home. I wouldn’t want a lazy stay at home parent who only plays with the kids and let’s the house fall into disarray. That would infuriate me
In a relationship the only job anyone should have is making sure your partner and yourself are doing what is necessary to take care of the family. Which includes splitting everything…
Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re not good enough; You do you! being in her 60s is no excuse not to call her on her behaviour( I also am in my 60s) On the other hand, it’s never to early to teach your kids to clean up after themselves!
This is classic MIL meddling. Ignore her and keep doing what you’re doing.
It’s not her house, and not her marriage.
Obviously no. This isn’t 1950.
That’s how I was raised.
Is he Mexican ?? Cause that’s typical in traditional Mexican families . Ask the both of them if they’re into incest and if so they can go fu€k each other .
Nope. You’re right momma 
Everyone is going to have a different opinion on this. I personally think its not like you’re sitting around all day doing nothing, you’re caring for your kids. So ignore the mil as she is clearly just an old school thinker. She won’t change her views, my mum is exactly the same and she won’t change either. She does everything for my dad, literally like she’s his carer. Ive always said I would never be like that and my husband and I are 50 50 with everything. He helped you create the home, he can help you maintain it x
In our family I’m the worker because my husband has a heart condition and isn’t able to in return he takes care of our home and our daughter when I’m at work he does meals and everything except for my off days and then I cook a meal he wouldn’t know how to and he does the dishes even on those days… It’s About Teamwork for us not gender roles
1 Like
I think that’s just how their generation is. If your husband doesn’t have a problem with it, which it doesn’t sound like he does, I wouldn’t worry about it. Personally I just make mine dinner & then after our daughter goes to bed I’ll clean up, and do dishes. 
Listen, I’m a SAHM to 3 kids (6, 3 & almost 2) the middle & youngest are in diapers.
My husband works outside in the weather allllll day long. 5 days a week.
I cook, take care of our kids and dog and while our house isn’t a disaster, he comes home & will load the dishwasher or start laundry or help with dinner and the kids.
You guys are supposed to be partners and work together.
It doesn’t matter which one of you
Is bringing home the money. Taking care of kids is a full time non stop job. So while you aren’t bringing home real money, you are working hard everyday raising your children.
Tell him he needs to tell her to fuck off.
11 Likes
I’m just gonna answer your first question.
NO. It is not a woman’s job to cook and clean and look after the kids.
However, if you’re a SAHM and you WANT to take on those responsibilities because your husband works all day, then that is fine.
If it is expected of you from him or his family, that isn’t cool.
Kids are a full time job on their own. I have one son and he can turn our house into a disaster zone it 10 mins.
My situation is a little different because I work too, but we share the responsibilities of cleaning and looking after our son.
I also completely understand that you would rather spend quality time with your kids over cleaning.
2 Likes
How old are you?
In my experience Women of a certain generation tend to think this way because that’s what that the expectation placed on them when they got married and started a family.As far as I’m concerned that’s not the case anymore.
I’m 26, single and live by myself. But if I ever had kids and had to give up my career to stay at home for childcare I would consider that childcare a priority and a full time job. Look after the kids 9-5 fine but when he comes home why should he get to clock out when you don’t just cos you’re a woman?
The answer is NO: it’s not your responsibility to cook and clean just because you’re a woman. You created those kids together so if you’re staying at home and he goes out, you’re both working. The rest of the responsibilities fall on both of you.
3 Likes
It is NOT a woman’s “job” to cook and clean. Husbands and wives should share chores and do them together. There should be no man’s job or woman’s job. You’re a team! This is not the 1950’s. You could express how you feel to your husband and mother in law. You are good enough. She just has views that are stuck in the past.
Yes I agree with Katherine white! If one of you is out all day doing a job then the other should do the chores, it’s hard coming home and having to do them after a long day at work! Children will amuse themselves while you clear up or get them to join in! I’m not saying it’s the woman’s job, same as a stay at home husband! And you should also take turns at cooking and clearing up after! Even when working! It’s not just a woman’s job, men get stuck in too! House work doesn’t have to take up your whole day and you can always get the children involved in helping, give them a little responsibility and reap the rewards they enjoy helping! Share responsibilities in the house hold! You will all benefit!
3 Likes
Personally I think if you’re at home all day … you have time to run a vacuum round regardless of how many kids you have. It takes 10 mins if that. If you’re both out working then fair enough share the responsibility but why should someone go to work all day and come back and have to clean the house? Same if my husband was a stay at home husband and I was the one working. Who wants to live in a pig stye anyways? “My kids are just making memories” okay lazy.
9 Likes
To answer your question, if your partner is working and you are 100% housewife then it should be your job. If you are the one working, it’s his job.
If you both work, then it’s nobody’s job.
In the end, you both work as a team to help each other if you want a successful relationship. There is no “one size fits all” solution.
6 Likes
You BOTH live In the house you BOTH take care of the house
Depends on the values and dynamic of the relationship.
Caring for children and nurturing early childhood development is a full time job. I don’t think society gives enough credit to those who are home with their children all day or to those who take care of other’s children all day. Cleaning and cooking are additional tasks that can be shared.
83 Likes
Me and my partner both work full time jobs and share the responsibilities at home,but before that I was a stay at home Mum and yes I think it’s fair to do more at home while the other is at work. Having a chance to be both a stay at home Mum and a full time working Mum… let’s just say I’d gladly go back to home duties over work any day. You are lucky to be able to stay at home, so what’s a few dishes? I’m about to finish a 10 1/2 hour day and still going home to prepare dinner, do all those home duties and be a Mum 
.
126 Likes
If you don’t have a out of the house job, yes you should clean the house and cook while still spend time with the kids. You should teach them how to help clean and how to keep it clean. They are never too young. I had two boys and they can cook and clean as good as anyone. So now they help their wives because they have public jobs also.
121 Likes
Being parents is hard work. Really if you are a stay at home mum you are really privileged. I would try my best to make sure my kitchen & bathrooms were clean. Weekends can be for laundry & hoovering when he is home to help. Also he should help by entertaining the kids while you cook & help with bath & bed time - he is then getting his time in with them. Then you can have some time together & it;s always nice to talk to an adult. It is a 2 way street creating them & should be a 2 way street raising them
39 Likes
If I’m a stay at home mom and my man pays all the bills I’m definitely going to take care of household responsibilities. But the point is y’all should do what works for you both and you can only figure it out through honest communication and understanding.
194 Likes
Someone always have to have an opinion on how one should be living their life. Being a mum is a full time job and you should be respected for it. This isn’t the 1950’s anymore. Parenting and the house work is a shared partnership. Screw what anyone else thinks. Your doing a great job raising your kids
38 Likes
I’ve heard this before as well even when I was working. You and your husband decide what is best for you and your home. She can keep her mouth shut about your home life. She doesn’t live there and if she thinks it should be done by the time he’s home, she can come and do it herself.
57 Likes
No, but it’s your mans job to pay for a house keeper so you both can be a little more stress free!!!
31 Likes
Sorry but I think if your a stay at home Mum yes he shouldn’t have to do anything when he gets home. I mean who plays with their kids for 8 hours?
17 Likes
There’s no reason to think you’re wrong just because she thinks she’s right. It’s not your responsibility to defend yourself or absorb her feedback. Opinions are like hand me downs. It was free for them to give it away and you’re not obligated to do anything with it. The bigger question is does your husband express conflicting emotions because of the variance between you and his mother.
11 Likes
Well since we aren’t in 1965 anymore. I’d say it’s pretty outdated. However. If he provides and you raise the kids, then it’s a team effort. Your work is just don’t inside the home. You job is taking care of your house. Nobody is saying you have to slave over his ass. F that shit. But if you bring in income and work. Then it doesn’t matter how much he works more or less. Y’all split it. Also. After saying all that. Let me be clear. You are not his mama. Not his maid. You work is done in the home raising kids. Which means taking care of their needs and tending to them first. Your husband is grown. He can pitch in cause raising kids is not easy. This whole not lifting a finger is nonsense. But yes, the bulk of the house hold chores falls on you. You guys are a team. Nobody wants to bust their ass for 8 to 10 hours come home and make dinner for the family while the person in the house, can help.
10 Likes
I recommend you read the books “Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” and “Proper Care and Feeding or Marriage” by Dr Laura Schlessinger. They have really helped me to grow and become a better wife.
6 Likes
If you’re a stay at home Mom and he’s out working full time then consider yourself very lucky. Not many parents are able to stay at home to care for their children and household anymore. Yes caring and playing with the children is important but so is taking a little bit of time each day to take care of the household chores and cooking dinner. He’s bringing home the income and you’re contributing by being at home to care for the household. Your mother in law isn’t wrong
36 Likes
Well . I mean . You should prob be doing the majority of the work. But my husband always pitchens in when I ask or he has a day off. I would never expect him to come home from work and cook and clean . Some days the house doesn’t get clean. Some days you eat take out .
19 Likes
Love how the men are commenting that she’s right…. Sexist much?
Has he spent an entire day home with all the kids? It’s so time consuming. Sure if you have time tidy up and do what you can but some days it’s just not possible and that’s okay. Kids are only young once so bonding and spending time is the most important thing right now.
Parenting and a house is a joint thing between two adults. 
37 Likes
First. My granny always said the house chores will always be there, but the kids will not. So spend all the time with them you can. Also, basic household duties should have no gender roles. Period. However, I would manage your time where you can entertain the kids AND get housework done if you’re home during the day. There should be a healthy balance though. Not everything falling on one or the other.
121 Likes
I’d be questioning her as to why she feels so insecure about the way she parented her son that she feels she didn’t teach him enough to survive without a woman doing everything. But I’m a bish . It’s a reflection of her not you Hun. Ask her since he works all day why aren’t we rich??
6 Likes
I mean… if you’re only a SAHM & you don’t have a P/T or F/T job, then absolutely. If you worked as well, then duties fall on both of you, but if you’re a SAHM then cleaning, cooking, raising your babies, trash, appts, you name it… is on you. That’s how I was raised!
75 Likes
no… i think everyone the adults should share these responsibilities. taking care and raising kids is a full time job too.
14 Likes
Shes not right. But not doing anything no. But having a spotless house and he do nothing is sexist and wrong it should be an effort on both partners. Your job is raising kids and the house is a join effort with my family
12 Likes
Kids grow up so quickly. You cannot get that time back. My kids are a senior in high school and a senior in college and I regret none of the time spent with them when little. I’m not the best house keeper, but we always cooked, and both my kids can now make dinner and bake really well. Now that I work full time from home they can jump in and cook dinner if I am working late. In fact they come up with interesting dishes that I never make so it keeps in interesting.
4 Likes
Your fellas right she is stuck in her ways and her generation. But as mothers in this generation we should and must raise our children differently. When we think of mothers we automatically think care giver. We opt the stance of boys, yard work, DIY and girls washing and cleaning. Yet mothers now work full time, they no longer just stay at home to cook, clean or raise children. Our kids need raising to meet this generation needs and expectations
6 Likes
My husband works all day. I’ve always stayed home. Even when I worked at home or outside the home doing labor as tough if not tougher than him. I still did the house and cooking. The kids preferred me to him when they were younger. I couldn’t change that. Houses aren’t museums but they should be cared for. I my husband doesn’t lift a finger unless he wants tp do something.
It is a 2 way street the one out of the house isn’t home to do it but when you have little ones they are a job in themselves. The kids as they grow will need independent play. That’s very important to know mommy or daddy isn’t here to entertain you all the time. We have responsibility too. They need to see that as well
5 Likes
If you’re home, and he’s paying the bills, yes the children are a full time job but SO IS THE HOUSE!!! It’s not lazy of him to not want to come home to a messy or even dirty house. Most of those tasks can be completed during naps or an episode of blues clues. Prioritize your time to meet the needs of your family and your house, including the daily, often tedious maintenance of dishes and laundry and vacuuming. Yes, it is your job.
28 Likes
Yes if you don’t work a job outside of the home you should be doing majority of house duties. Yes he can help with some, simpler tasks but the person who is not employed should be cooking cleaning and tending to the children, they don’t need to consume so much of your time you can not accomplish majority of house work.
47 Likes
I work away from my family all week. My wife keeps on top of the cleaning and stuff but wen I get home I’ll quite happily have a tidy round and do the cooking. She runs round after our little one all day. Responsibility’s should be shared. Society today isn’t like it used to be when it was the norm to expect the woman to do all the chores.
11 Likes
Isn’t taking care of children all day a job?? That is more important than a clean house!!!or cooking? What’s wrong with going out to eat once in awhile. Boy is she old fashioned!!!
The house should be a responsibility you both should take care of. He should be as grateful to you for caring for your children , as you are to him for working outside the home.
You both have a job, not just him!!
10 Likes
Ignore this woman, you keep having that quality time with your kids because they soon grow up and not want to play anymore I think you are doing the right thing kids must and always come first
10 Likes
I’m a stay at home wife mom and yes I try to keep house clean and food ready for him it’s not always possible I make sure his uniforms are always clean and the necessities they may not be folded instantly but they are clean and when I cook I cook a lot so there are leftovers to warm up my house is not spotless we have a toddler it’s not dirty just messy time to time but when he is off he does the cooking and will help with household stuff this is my job and I own that but a stay at home wife mom never has a day off either so if everything doesn’t get done all the time not that big of deal we have certain family members who like their opinions too and think I should work because we only have once Child but my husband works 48 hr shifts on an ambulance and I’m a nurse so babysitting was always an issue so when Covid hit I decided to stay home we each have our role
9 Likes
This is between you and your man. My daughter in law works, my son works at home very flexible and he has been my gson and gdaughters primary daytime parent. It worked great for them both kids are off to college. She always said he was best at nurturing and cooking, but not allowed to wash anything but jeans and towels. Lol
8 Likes
Yup, if your at home you take care of kids, housework etc, think yourself lucky, some of us have to work full time AND look after the kids & home
7 Likes
She needs to take care of her own house.
14 Likes
If you don’t work I’d agree with the mother-in-law if you have a job then no the the partnership changes and it’s both of your jobs to cook and clean.
7 Likes
I feel this!! Stand up for yourself in a positive way and by doing so you are standing up for your kids to have you play with them! A saying I love is something like dirty dishes and dirty laundry will always be there but your kids are only little once and the memories of their mama playing with them will stay more than a clean home 
5 Likes
I’m a SAHM. My day revolves around cleaning, laundry, outside care of my yard and vegetable garden, and making sure my 2yr old has enough activity and play time. My husband does do the cooking in house though. That’s the only “chore” I don’t have any part of. And it works great.
5 Likes
You are not wronge,A mothers work never ends.when Dad gets home give him a while to unwind and then he needs to help out with the duties of raising the kids.Tell Grandma to stay in her lane.When your husband took on a wife and kids he needed to cut the cord from his Mom.I say give her a call and visits but he needs to man up to Mom and inform her he is a big boy now and she needs to respect his wife and home.Good luck honey.
3 Likes
Well…yeah. if you are home all day- the home is your duty. Doesn’t mean he can’t help.
11 Likes
I was a stay at home mom until all my kids were in school… I treasure those years! It’s a shared responsibility, entertaining children all day is a job in its self!
5 Likes
I think it depends on each family individually. If we both work we both help out. Since I’m home I always tried to include my kids in cleanup etc and cooking with kids can be fun family time. But again it is important to communicate with your significant other and see what works for u both and go from there. No ones suppose to behave a certain way. A family works together!
4 Likes
If you’re a stay at home mum then that is your job. But it also depends on the ages of your children and how demanding they are. And each day could differ and you all pitch in on the weekends to catch up if needed. Also, does he do any of his chores on his days off? Lawns, gardening, bins, handyman stuff etc. I found it hard when my son was very young and I was sleep deprived
1 Like
Wow some of these comments
Being a stay at home parent of young children is hard and i think its a good bonus if you can get what you can done during the day, technically your both working, your both tired and your both parents so why wouldn’t he help?
Doesnt matter if its mum or dad home, your in a partnership and if the working partner is watching the other partner being worn down and still doesnt want to help, you are under valued. You should be looking after each other physically and mentally.
2 Likes
House chores shouldn’t be gender specific but, you’re a team. If your partner is working, treat being home like a job. Not saying they should be completely excluded from chores. Communication with your person of expectations from both parties is crucial.
1 Like
It’s actually got nothing to do with your mother in law, you two work out what’s best for your family xx
2 Likes
Ugh! Being a parent is a full time job too! Just because you are at home doesn’t mean that you aren’t busy running around after the child, whether that is playing, feeding or consoling! Jeepers times have changed! Tell her to come into the 21st century!!!
1 Like
Yes if you’re a stay home mum that is your role
4 Likes
Tell your mil to mind her own business. You and your husband can manage married life without her help. And if your husband is an able body person there is nothing wrong for him to help out in the house chores.
2 Likes
It is a husband and wife’s job to discuss what their roles should be at home and it’s ok to help each other out, but I think that conversation is needed!
2 Likes
If one doesn’t work outside home then the home is your work. You cook, clean, and care for the kids, when he gets home he spends time with the kids while you get dinner ready. Then he helps get them ready for bed. This is what I did when my kids were small. When they became school age, I went to work and my husband and I shared the meal prep. But I did the house work and he took care of the yard work. When they were big enough the kids helped witb both.
4 Likes
You shouldn’t subscribe to following strict gender roles, but it’s okay if you find yourself fitting into them naturally.
Both partners in a relationship should feel like their contributions are reciprocated. If one person is working full time while the other stays home, it’s fair for that person to feel like they’re pulling too much weight.
You should definitely address this problem early, either by arguing that what you do with your time is fair, by doing more around the house, or by contributing another way, like going back to work.
1 Like
As someone who’s wife is a SAHM I can say the way we work things is my wife is responsible for about 80% of the day to day stuff at home, simply because she is the one home for most of the day. Her being a woman has nothing to do with it, it’s simply she is here more than me so her responsibilities for the most part are wrapped up in the house, and trust me she does not play with the kids for 8 hours she gets naps in and has plenty of phone time as well, but the house always looks nice. There’s also plenty to do once I get home as well, and best believe I am helping out also, I’m helping with baths for the kids, bedtime, taking trash out, anything that breaks I fix it, mowing grass, car repair, pretty much maintaining everything yard wise. So it is never ALL on the woman, but if someone in the home isn’t working and is home all day, then yes THEY should be the primary ones to maintain the home, simply because they are there more.
62 Likes
I go to work and work as a nurse…it’s tiring. My husband stays home so he does most of the cooking and some cleaning. I do clean too but on some of my days off. I have adult kids now so they cook too. But when my kids were young we both work and we both share duties.
1 Like
So as a stay at home mom the thing I’ve learned is to include the kiddos. After every activity we do we clean up- play dough/ coloring/ games/ then they enjoy watching me cook most of he time but turning on a movie helps me pick up what I haven’t throughout the day- when my husband comes home the house is usually fairly clean/ maybe some stray toys here and there- and my routine is to do the dishes after they are laid down and just kinda wipe everything down/ the tables and sweep a little. Then on the weekend I’ll do a deeper clean when he’s there and he will usually help out either with the kids or the cleaning. It’s a balance you have to find.
2 Likes
I think having happy children and a relaxed engaged mama are more important than being the housekeeper. Marriage is a partnership and I hope hubby gladly gives you the help and support you need. I think his mom needs to keep her snotty opinion to herself.
This really depends on your family and what works best for them. In my family, my husband brings home the bacon and I take care of the house and our girls while he does that. When he comes home, all of the house duties become ours. He helps with the kids and gives me some relief, sometimes he cooks, and he helps me clean up after (most nights). On the weekends, he has certain things that he does for me. But ultimately, his job is the physical job he goes to everyday and my job is the home and kids during the day. But what works for us doesn’t work for others, and I don’t believe there should ever be “set jobs” for certain genders.
As for mama, she can butt out 
and if hubby won’t say something to her about her disrespect, you should. It may take time for you to find the strength to do that, but until then, don’t mind her. I would just wonder if he’s not saying anything bc he agrees or bc he doesn’t wanna fight her. That would be the question I’d ask.
2 Likes
If you work, then the house chores and child minding should be split 50/50. But if you are a stay at home mom, or he is a stay at home dad, I should think the house parent should do most of the domestic chores and cooking, especially if the kids are in school all day. However, the working parent still should help out and spend time with the kids as well.
1 Like
My roommate is a guy and we have split the cleaning duties I do bathrooms and bedrooms he does the main room and his domain the kitchen he does 95% of the cooking and he is amazing at it! I just make pizza puff (from scratch (ish)) sometimes
2 Likes
Work for 10 hours at home as he works for 10 hours as well to earn your keep. Then share the rest of house work that still needs to be done and take care of your kids together. That way both of you shared equal responsibility. Also learn to manage your time with the 10 hours work you put at home.
2 Likes
If you feel overwhelmed then that is his problem and job. Daily cleanup but split major cleaning for weekend where he is off and fully able and capable of contributing to his household other than $$. His mom needs to butt the f out. Not her place not her business. You are the wife and mother not her and it undermines you as such. He needs to stand by his wife and put boundaries where his mother is concerned. If he says nothing he is encouraging and promoting those comments. No good will come of this if it continues. Especially with young children. They are your priority.
1 Like
You don’t have to be good enough for your mother in law. She should butt out and mind her own business.
1 Like
There is a lot to unpack here BUT you can start by disengaging with this woman. Let her have her opinions, they are separate from you.
(Whenever she shares her opinion of you, state “others opinions of me are none of my business”)
1 Like
Your mother in law in entitled to her opinion. But it is also ok for you not to care about her opinion.
2 Likes
I hate to be this way but you can do both, set yourself up a schedule, before he comes home do the obvious. Take the trash out, do dishes, sweep, vacuum. If hes working all day then yes you do need to do chores. It’s part of a stay at home moms job. Does it make you not wife material? No, not at all. But just as a kind gesture to your husband I’d make sure it dont look like absolute hell when he walks through the door.
2 Likes
I think your main priority is the kids…
Then clean etc whatever u can… once his home its both responsibility
1 Like
If you’re a stay at home mom, then I do believe the household chores shouldn’t be split 50/50 if he’s working all day. However, I don’t believe they should 100% fall on you either. I don’t think I would expect him to vacuum, cook, scrub the bathroom, etc. but I do believe he should have to pick up after himself and maybe do small things like take the trash out. Maybe the compromise is that after dinner he watches the kids for an hour or so, so that you can pick up? I also think it is important to teach your kids about chores and have them do age appropriate chores. I have my son (2) help pick up toys, help unload the dishwasher, and throw things in the trash. My husband and I both work full time so our situation is a bit different. I cook and do most of the house chores, he is responsible for picking up after himself, clearing the dinner table, taking the trash out, and mowing the lawn. We split child care duties 50/50.
I wouldn’t say it’s her “job”, especially if she also works full time and is a full time momma. If she is a stay at home mom, I could see that being more her responsibility if the husband is working full time. I also see it being even if they both work. It shouldn’t be one persons sole responsibility. You are a team and it should be a team effort.
1 Like
No she isn’t fully right , when you make a home ,and a family with someone they should help out even if they have an outside job. Maybe you should try to keep a more tidy home ,but it’s not wrong to put your babies first. He should help as the head of the house hold that is his home as well as yours ! He isn’t a guest therfore he should make an effort. Being the full time parent , is very very demanding, and hard .
3 Likes
Yes and no. Focus on the kids especially while they’re young but as they grow teach them how to do things. They learn best by seeing what others do and helping. My husband works full time but also helps around the house because we’re a team. Communication is key. Talk with your husband. Some days you’ll need and appreciate the help. Other days you’ll want him to play with the kids so you can get things done when he home. It’s balance. Tell your mil to stay in her lane. She raised hers, now it’s your turn to retrain and raise your own! 
1 Like
My husband worked from 8 Till 7 so I had 3 all day took them out all summer just kept the house tidy used to do washing at night my husband helped on his half day off and Sunday he said fresh air is more important
1 Like
Hahaha okay girl I got you!!! I stepped back from my job to be a mom. Daycare is REDICULOUS! My MIL also struggles with my house not being “clean enough”. I love my husband and he helps. He will do anything I ask of him (yes I need to ask. I’m a control freak so he’s clearing it first lol). I haven’t told her and neither will he but I’m ready if she says anything to my face! I am a nurse, chef, baker, teacher, maid, counselor, referee, wife, and mother all within the first hour of my day. Maid never comes first. Playing, memories and love do. I teach them to clean up after themselves but I also teach them they come first not other people’s perception on me.
1 Like
I had a mother in law like that. My attitude was its none of her business. What matters is how you and your husband communicate and feel about the situation .Focus that energy on your kids and husband. It doesn’t matter what she thinks, you won’t change her.
It’s 50/50 between the two of you. This ain’t the 1950s where we stuck doing everything.
3 Likes
Your MIL is butting in where she doesn’t belong. When she offers her opinion, smile and change the subject. You don’t have to be “good enough” for her. You have to be good enough for yourself. If all else fails, tell her you suspect that she’s not mother in law material.
Our roles are reversed. My husband is home with the kids and I work during the day. We also split the housework. It’s a lot of work taking care of kids and I would much rather he spent time with them instead of spending 8 hours a day cleaning the house while I worked.