You really think he should work all day spend time driving hsve the hassle of work snd stress snd you don’t have time to to the dishes please
‘Not good enough for this woman’, you’re not with her, you’re with your husband, that’s the only person you should focus on. But he does need to tell her to shut her mouth
Your kiddos come 1st! The dishes can wait, your children are only young for a short period. He can help out on weekends . My boys Dad worked came home and do dishes or vacuum, because he knew my hands were full with the boys lol
Gender has nothing to do it. Agreed upon responsibilities between the members in the household is the right answer.
I have always felt that a wife that doesn’t work should try to keep a clean home for her family and be a good mom to the kids. The house doesn’t have to be spotless and there can be dirty dishes in the sink but she should also make sure that the meals are cooked …the husband should help out like help with dishes, some times he can also vacuum once in a while. sharing the chores … kids need attention and that is more important than anything - showed love and encouragement … As a mother of 4, grandmother of 12, great grandma of 4, and 74 yrs. old - the phase your husband used " set in her ways" just doesn’t cut it. She’s wrong, My youngest son has two children and they are a hand full at times, their mom is the best. I have gone to their home and helped out with the dishes, the washing. etc. If it bothers your Mother-in-law so much she should offer to help you out once in awhile.
If you work to no but if not it is your job to cook and clean but not all day find you some time for you to sit and watch something on tv
I feel there are pros and cons to both sides… opinions are like assholes… everyone has one… The only thing that should be done is what your husband and you have agreed upon… if there is no agreement in the matter now is the time to have that pillow talk on the matter.
I would say to her I am going to the park with my kids, if my dishes bother you so much come over and do them!
I think you can do both I had 5 children but had to work also to make ends met I wish I could have stayed home with my children’s do what you can with the job you are doing you will find a way to do both be a mom and a wife give love to both
If you don’t have a job then yes you should fit it into your schedule
I was a stay at home mom and let’s be real especially with a new born they sleep alot. No reason you can’t do some picking up and cooking during that time. I cooked whole dinners everyday. U learn some recipes that are easier like soups etc and stick with them. I’m sure the time it took to send this post to the fb page u could have vaccumed the living room. If you have time to play on ur phone you have time to get things done. If it where the other way around and I got off work to no food or a dirty house I’d be mad… now we both work and Share house work and our son is 3.
We share responsibilities as the kids grow older they are also responsible in keeping the house clean
Tell her to come over & do it.
What does your husband think? Its none of his mothers business. That being said, if youre home it is possible to effectively raise your children and do house chores. I know - I have 5 grown kids. Yes, dishes should be done. It takes just a few minutes. Yes, throw in a load of laundry. Yes, make beds amd vacuum, mop floors, dust. Get your kids involved - have them help. It teaches them responsibility and that theyre part of a family unit. It helps with growth amd development, and can even be academic: “wipe the kitchen table with the blue dish cloth 3 times… 1, 2, 3!” That’s gross motor skills, language, and math. Cooking is a great math exercise, teaching about measurement. Laundry is great for sorting and classification skills. And if your kids are young, you set them in a position where they can observe and you tell them what youre doing - its called self-talk. Of course it’s important to enage your children in play, too, and there is always time for that. Start by looking at your routines and schedule. What time do you get up in the morning? What time do your kids get up? When do you go to bed? Consistency depicted by a picture schwdule for your kids makes their day predictable and assist with behavior management. Yes, girl, your husband’s mother needs to mimd her own damn business - but you need to step up your game, too.
Fuck being good enough for her. You good enough for YOUR man? He loves you? He’s happy? Oh ok.
Why did you marry him? They are in the 50.s
stay at home wife din ako pero lahat ng gawain tulungan kami ng asawa ko.
You’re not married to MIL.
Help each other out!!! This isnt the 1940’s anymore. Split it up. Compromise.
Does your husband also reside in your home? You live there. You both do the housework.
What do you want? Make your husband cook when he comes home tired? He is taking care of you. So you take care of him. The power is yours at home.
How bout you decide on who should do what.
Uuuummm I hope I am not that mother in law that you speak of
Well if he’s working all day…
Damn that, if you are doing what you doing, and he has no complaints, fuck his mom, you married him not her… Facts!!!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it a woman's job to cook and clean?
I’ve been a stay at home wife for 17 years. My husband didn’t have to lift a finger as far as the house work. Why would? He worked a full time job and a part time job for YEARS… To provide for us plus he still did outside stuff on his days off. So yeah in the house he had to do absolutely nothing. I was also a stay at home mom when my kids were little and it was the same. My house was always clean. I never had to choose between washing dishes or playing with my kids. So that part I’m not understanding…
I have always been a stay at home mom raising 4 children while my husband was out working. My husband always walked in to a clean home with dinner ready. I felt that while he was out earning to make our life comfortable for us it was my duty to make sure he enjoyed coming home every night. He has always provided us with a comfortable home and we never lacked or wanted for anything. Why would i just sit at home doing nothing while he was out working his buns off to provide for us? We celebrated 41 years of marriage this year. Now that he is home we work together and truly enjoy each others company and love spending time together.
You only care for your kids and play with them??? I think you could do more. At least make dinner. What man wants to work all day and come home to no dinner???
Chores are on both partners. He lives there and uses things. She was raised differently. I personally was raised its a partnership through and through sahm or not.
Mother or not… He’s married to you not to mommy
Also best advice my mom gave me, is whenever my grandma said something and she didn’t like it. She said she would let it go in one ear and out the other, go home and do whatever she wanted
Do you work? If no then yes I feel it should fall all on you. If you do work. Then no, he should definitely be helping around the house.
I was brought up to look.after the man. I also have kids and run my own business. He runs his business and I cook and clean inbetween everything. It’s not hard at all. I don’t get the I have kids and can’t do it. Yes. You can. My kids are 23 and 16 now. Doing great. Mil needs to keep her nose out. But looking after the home and kids is part and parcel of being an at-home mum. It’s not hard. He’s paying.
I mean if hes at work doing his job and ur at home …exactly what is ur job??? …I was a stay at home dad for a small period of time and the house was spotless not so much the other way around lol
To be fair I don’t think it’s too much to ask to at least have dinner cooked. What man who works all day wouldn’t appreciate coming home to that? I don’t know how many kids you have. I don’t know how you allocate your time so I’m not sure why you can’t cook or clean. It all ties together. Kids need to eat as well and they need a clean home to play in. I can’t believe this is even an issue. So many people on here saying how unimportant it is boggles my mind. Just like a thread last night about how unimportant bathing is. During COVID. Society is so weird.
Ooh she is nowhere close to right. Like my Daddy always told me, relationships take 2. Its a 50/50 in both people. That’s means 50/50 of EVERYTHING in life down to the kids and cleaning the house. Nothing should just fall to 1 person that’s too much to ask of 1 person! Shes just set in her ways with being 60 and all. My mil is in her 40s but still knows that things arent the way they were back then! I’d lose my mind on her if she was this way. The work falls on BOTH PARTIES NOT JUST ONE!!
I think the kids are #1 but also keeping a clean space for them is important for their well being. It shows them structure. I was a divorced working mom of 4 children who have long since flew the coop. It was hard but they are all very good at their jobs and the run of their homes as I did. As far as your step mom name shaming. I would look her straight in the face and say, (calmly), I don’t like it when you say those things. Appreciate you not doing it in front of me again. Straight to the point. Should have your husband there when you say it so your ALL on the same page. Good luck also there’s the thing were if you hold off on the chores the mess gets bigger and bigger. Exhausting to catch up. Doing the cleaning as I went along and making sure the kids were settled and satisfied . Much easier on my brain and body
Of course you should cook and clean and the fact that you asked that question tells me that you might need a little counseling
Uhhh, I’ll just say this. Cooking and cleaning are basic human skills. So idk about all this “woman’s job” nonsense. Also, you say that you actually put taking care of the kids first? That is a sign of a good mother. And the fact that your MIL is not only over looking this but cherry-picking about you not doing the dishes or not vacuuming and not doing this or that could be signs of a narcissist. She’s trying to find any fault in you to put you down and make you think that you are not good enough for her precious son. Do not let her get to you. She is trying to sabotage your marriage. What goes on in your household is you and your husband’s business. No one else’s.
We also raised differently i love taking care of my child and my surroundings I don’t find this so hard… its not slave its my responsibility my house and my children needs to be takin care of and you already should knew that in the first place… but its very different cultures soo
Um sadly we are judged if it is but how you run your household is up to you i just would bar anyone that is so disrespectful
I’m in my 60’s and she is not old. She is just odd! She grew up during a time when women were learning we didn’t have to be second class citizens. Tell your husband to man up and tell his mother to Zip it!
I mean… yea that’s part of being a stay at home mom. The house and children are your job. Sure he can help out but you also have no excuse not to cook or clean while being home all day. Kids aren’t an excuse. Don’t teach them to live in a dirty house but it also doesn’t have to be spotless.
If a husband is a full-time provider for the house then yes. It is your responsibility to keep the house clean and cook. Having children is your responsibility too. Work and pay for a nanny I would hate if my mom blames me for her inability to clean and cook lmao
If you’re at home then a lot of the house work would be down to you but your husband should have some jobs he helps with as well, if not during the week because he’s been working then definitely on weekends. And he should help with the children. Ultimately how your relationship is divided is down to you and him though. Your mother in law had her marriage.
It’s a shared job tell that bitch to go f**k herself I help my partner all the time we do things as a team it’s quick and efficient no woman should have to do things for everyone else
Yes you can and should do all you can for a great man I never complained doing everthing I could do for him and my children I went to take a cosmology course he got upset and said who is going to do the housework cook clean fix dinner and sent our two boys to school I told him I am and I did then went to wk as a full time stylist for 20yrs. And still did everthing for us all I thank GOD FOR BEING WITH ME THRU IT ALL NOW RETIRE AND DO ALOTFOR MY GRANKIDS AND ALL OF US I LOVE IT THEY ARE MY FAMILY AND I WILL NEVER LET THEM DOWN
Old ideals that died out when I was a child in the 80s…in the UK now its a shared job, same as chores, kids and shopping.
If I relied on women to cook for me I’d have died a long time ago, most of my exs had no idea how to even make a pot noodle…
Please don’t listen to these men above me. It is 2021. If you don’t want to prioritize cleaning over your kids, DONT. Whether it be friends, family, strangers, etc. I can’t stand people sticking their noses in your lifestyle. If your husband has no complaints then just ignore her.
I think ya oughta just let the mamaw think how she thinks. As long as your man isn’t trying to incorporate her beliefs into your family. Older ppl were raised to believe certain things and some ppl have a hard time realizing that time marches on, obviously without them.
No, this is a modern world. My partner does most of the cooking and cleaning whilst working from home. I have 2 jobs on top of looking after our son. Doesn’t make him any less of a man, nor does it make me any less of a woman.
Yes. It’s everyone’s job. It’s about teamwork. Everyone should be taking turns cooking and the cleaning should be shared between family members.
If a woman is not working but her husband is, I totally agree with the mil.
There is plenty to do between the two of you. Try switching it up. Do some house work while hes away and let the kids help. But when he gets home he can step up and either deal with the kids or cook.
Is this the 60’s again? Watching children is a full time job. There are some days that I’m able to clean around the house, but it’s one or two chores a day and not the whole house. After you clean it, it’s dirty again by the next day anyway. My fiancé always thanks me for what I’ve accomplished and if it was a bad day and I couldn’t then he thanks me anyway for being there for my daughter. And it sounds like the MIL should shut her mouth because it’s NOT her place to butt in. It’s not a “woman’s job” to clean the house. Share responsibility. Or tell him to start dishing out the hundreds of dollars a week for daycare so you can either work or help around the house. If he doesn’t like the sound of that then maybe he should consider having a word with his mother.
No the home belongs to both no matter who works or who doesn’t,it’s not just the woman’s job.
100% NOT! Thats not how things work these days x
There is a reason there are only mother-in-law jokes and no father-in-law jokes. Remember that.
Some of these women in these comments never had to cook or clean a day in their lives and it really shows.
I’m a stay at home mom, my husband works 60+hrs a week. The least I can do is pick up the house we share together. Relationship are suppose to be 50/50 right?
If you are home all day and don’t sit around eating bon bons and watching TV, you can do it all. That IS your job.
If you, as a mother are working, you’re not a maid. If you’re only job is to be with your kids as a stay at home mommy, you should be cleaning shut up.
Kids gonna tear up the house all day just clean it when they go to bed.
But yeah it’s nice to have dinner ready when you get home from work.
Yes it is. Just as much as it is a man’s job. Clean your fucking shit people. Quit bitching about who needs to do it and do it.
Are you married to him or her?
It was in my lifetime, but sometimes hubby helped and I helped him outside some too.
Don’t listen to these men in the comments below. It’s 2021 honey he can cook & clean too!
Your job is too take care of the children not the dishes
Tell her to mind her own bees wax!!
Mother-in-law is a jerk.
Your MIL needs to stay out of your marriage
My mom used to say, loudly, “YOU LIVE HERE, YOU HELP KEEP IT CLEAN!”.
Hahha I don’t think you want me to tell ya what to say to her
SAHM means stay at home MOM, not stay at home maid.
She doesn’t run your household. What did you and your spouse agree on?
I’m not even gonna get fancy with this.
Everyone loves Raymond
Well said Stephanie.
My husband does our cooking, cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping.
I do the cooking in my home simply because mine likes to cook everything on high and ruins all the pots and pans but we both do the cleaning
Shes in her 60s.
Ive a aunt whos in her 60s. My aunty is out every weekend, dancing the night away. She is glamerous, fun and lively.
She tells me stories of he rgrowing up through the hippy age and free love etc. She is progressive and forward thinking.
60 isnt old, MIL… she was around during the womens fight to have equal pay etc.
Shes just ignorant and has patriarchal views.
You and your husband keep doing whats best for your family and sod what the MIL thinks.
If she was my nans age of 89 then yeah…id get it. But 60s she should have lived through the 60s an 70s an seen the change in society.
It can be 50-50 housework
Just throw haymakers
You feel lucky PUNK?
All of these posts seem fake. Just made up controversial stories to get likes and comments and shares.
Omg how lazy are you?
You’re doing a great job.
Tell your MIL TO TAKE HER HEAD OUT OF HER BUTT. Parenting taking care of the kids and the house falls on both parents.Seems like your MIL IS STUCK IN THE 50S &60S. aLSO YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO GROW A SET AND SPEAK TO HER THE WAY SHE TALKS ABOUT YOU.
You are too good for that woman
Tell Marie Barone to butt the fuck out!
Yes, you are nothing but a slave and must do everything your man tells you to do.
Nope. Your job is being a mom. her and he’s a coward! Your husband should tell her to stop. You’re not married to her. That she needs to not make comments or stay away. I see no reason for one parent to cook, clean, laundry whatever. One person to care for the kids and manchild at that point. Don’t be that person. You deserve better. Or get divorced, alimony, child and support
Umm fuck her! Whatever it is you’re doing, you’re doing a great job!!
Would it be a stay at home dads job?
(The answer is yes btw)
Your mother in law is a twat
No. He should contribute!
Yeah, she’s right…for 1952.
Tell her mind own business
If you aren’t working and are a joke maker, you should be doing those things as part of your job. If you were both working, then that’s different.