I’ve been married 29yrs. When I met him he said he’d been cheated on with every woman he’d been with. I promised him I’d always stay faithful, if he did. We also promised to be up front with each other if we ever had trouble with drifting apart.
So I’ve always trusted him because he said he would never put anyone thru the same thing. After we’d been together 15yrs. He started talking to me about having problems with his hormones. It was like this. He had trouble and would always apologize. I then realized it was a midlife crisis problem. Idk y’all ages but I think he’s going thru that. Talk to him about it. Ask why. Tell him y’all need to be up front and talk about it and anything else you’ve noticed out if character. It’s a total personality change. It’s not easy. And it’s cost marriages because they do start to cheat. They say men don’t go thru menopause, but. They really do.
Go get you a good man. Dump his old ass. He is disrespecting you.
Lol my fiance doesn’t even go down there with mouth…we do other fun stuff lol if things are weird or not usual then ask him why? Lol hopefully you have a great communication about sexual stuff
99% of the time this happens, he’s cheating.
Have you tried offering to do all the work occasionally? You shouldn’t have to every time but he shouldn’t either
Get yours before he gets his?Damn. Does anyone associate sex with intimacy these days?
Cut him off for awhile
It sounds like he’s found a pattern he really enjoys. Point out that you’d like to get some too, and also that you’d like to vary things! You are enabling this so you do need to say no.
Have you slacked off on you’re private area maintenance ??
Maybe his back hurts an he cant perform as long could be anything just talk to him
I’m betting he’s having erection issues but you should demand reciprocation or climb on top to control things
Maybe he found out that’s the fastest way he can get off? Tell him to perform on u see how he likes it for a change. Or try having sex a different way and see if it works. I honestly think he wants to bang real quick and be done and that’s the fastest way he knows how to get his
Don’t pleasure him anymore!!
Cut him off for awhile!!
He could be cheating!!
Has he gained weight or changed in appearance? It could be that he’s insecure of himself. My partner had this issue where he gained weight due to stress. He only wanted me on top or doggy lol. It was an issue and I got tired of it, I told him to stop being lazy or he wouldn’t get any. We worked it out now. If it’s not that then I’m afraid to say that there might be more to it. Either there is another woman idk. I would look more into it and not ignore it. Also, don’t give him head if you dislike doing it. Doing something you don’t want to it will only cause resentment on your part.
Tell him eh jog on!!!
It sounds like you don’t know your husband sexually not one desire, preference, or fetish he’s probably jerking off in the shower to the thoughts of what he really likes you better find out what he’s into a have no judgement I mean 8 years of the same routine is such a bore live a little
Most likely he’s getting it from someone new, that’s usually the case. Cutting him off is just going to make it worse. Make him use protection when you do have adult time, get In to get a pelvic exam, and speak with him after that
My bf had a phase like that. I guess it worked itself out in time. Idk you just need to find a way to spice it up. Make him want you. Ignore him for awhile. Have a night out with the girls. Make him jealous.
Is he watching porn?
No you’re not wrong and he’s very selfish. You need to talk to him about this and tell him it needs to change immediately or no one will be being pleased.
He’s only thinking of him,stop doing it…….
Just get on top and ride until you’re done
Why don’t you sit down and have a chat with him and see where you go from there if he was cheating he wouldn’t want anything at all
He is being lazy and selfish
My guy is the same way I put my foot down. I told him I wouldn’t do it anymore and it’s my turn. He completely stopped wanting sex for about a month or so. Then he gave in and compromised. Now I get more and he gets far less I only do it for a few minutes just enough to frustrate him and then I stop and he can either do me or have blue balls. Is it mean yes but do we both get what we want now yes.
Have him speak w/ his physician. There may be physical changes happening to him that he doesn’t want to admit to or talk about.
Either a marriage counselor, sex therapy counselor, dig through his stuff or talk it with him with zero distraction. Dont do the deed till it happens.
No, its not okay!! You are a couple, not a prostitute and a John. He has to make an effort as well. When my ex started wanting only oral gratification and a wham bam without a Thank You Ma’am. I found out he was pleasuring elsewhere. The problem is not with you, but you may be ignoring other clues that will show you that he is not being faithful. I wish you good luck but I encourage you to dig deeper and do it SOON!
When he is in the mood just say no I’m tired I’m going to bed and keep doing that every time. Show him how you feel
U aint wrong. Talk to him or just say nope aint happening like that this time
Sounds like a real selfish piece of shit and he’s very clearly using you like some kind of prostitute, climb on top and use him instead
I would be saying goodbye…
Talk to him about the issue. We don’t know why he is doing what he is doing. Have an open conversation.
You can put his penis in your mouth but not talk to him? And say hey I dont enjoy this, what about me, I have needs
Tell him it’s tit for tat; If he’s not going to satisfy you, then you’re NOT doing him either!!
Feel for you!
I understand what you’re dealing with. Just stop all together.
You guys need to talk it out. Sex or love-making is a two way act. It’s meant to bond together as a couple. If it’s so dry and one-way then you need to be direct and ask him what’s up. If there’s an underlying issue then you guys need to know so you can resolve it. It may be nothing but it could be something where you may need counseling or something else.
Don’t live in silence. Don’t be unhappy for fear of knowing the truth.
Best of luck.
NO hes being selfish and unfair put on stopage till he starts treating you like a wife should be treated
1st of all stop making it ok for him to continue to be like that by doing it! That’s part of the problem. You can’t continue to allow that then be upset by it. Your allowing it. Communicate! Spice it up! See counselor… whatever works
Unfortunately I see red flags…
I could definitely be wrong but seems like he’s treating you like a prostitute.
Sorry.
And this is whats wrong with society to many opinions and assumptions. Don’t let these cloud your judgement ask questions and get to the bottom of it. Everyone has issues speak up let your feelings known or you’ll end up being another seperated statistic because you didn’t communicate you know him best the fact your asking for advise rather then talking to him means you have drifted apart potentially.
Good luck
After 8 years I think he’s getting a bit bored. Maybe you should try and make bedtime more exciting, maybe try new positions or role playing or date nights! Or some sexy nightwear! Good luck!
Sit Ur husband down and talk to him bout it tell him how Ur feeling communication is the key to making a marriage last
Could be all sorts of reasons… How old is he… He may be struggling to perform properly and embarrassed…he may (in a very twisted way be being faithful to a mistress)… Or bored… Which ever it is you need to try and get him to open up… But… Don t think it is your job to fix alone… F£@& that sh*#… 2 people in a marriage 2 people have to work on it… Let him know you are unsatisfied!!!
Well this whole scenario is agitating. How have you lasted 6 months doing this same shit. Gurrrrl I’d save my damn mouth… I mean all that action for 30 seconds! You’re torturing yourself. Ask him what the problem is get straight to the point with your questions I.e are you bored is your dick having issues are you mucking around. All the normal stuff. Unless you both signed up for a sexless relationship this will get boring real quick and life’s too short for mediocre sex. Good luck
He should be checked out by a doctor. Sounds like he’s having difficulties…
Get straight to the point. Front him up deal with it is the only way. You have dilly dallied long enough six months. Just be honest.
JuSt be honest…tell him that he needs to satisfy you first, then you can take care of him…good luck
I would first of all start being more sexy. Not that you’re not sexy, but turn it up a notch. Get some lingerie & maybe plan a special night for just the 2 of you. This isn’t for everyone, but my husband & I have invited another woman to bed with us a few times & it’s definitely spiced things up. There’s always boundaries & rules to that, but If it’s something you’re open to then its worth it
Good luck girl!!!
He’s getting the good stuff else where
Quite honestly, no one on this forum can help you. You need to communicate with your husband! This should not be up for discussion with people on social media. You will be getting too many mixed messages and really, you know your husband better than anyone, so talk to him!
Talk to your husband. Open communication about what’s going on. & Make sure to express your feelings & listen to his. If neither can be “heard” by the other, marriage counseling… I hope you are able to mend whatever is going on best of luck…
Google pleasure based versus goal based sex. Seems like he has regressed /diminished your sexy time. Refuse to participate in anything non consensual and not mutually beneficial
From experience of similar talk.
I lost all my sexual desires because I wasnt well inside and i didnt know about it untill it was too late but all the signs were there.
Just talk and listen and learn. Seek the help if either of you need it.
Good luck
Yall are married be open and honest and get down to the bottom of it.
In our 11 years of our relationship I could say we’ve been to worst than ever be,we’ve reach to the point that I’ll go naked in front of him after taking a shower but just ignore me and didn’t even turn him on and asking him why??? and just keeping ignoring me when Im asking him why???but with and open communication and being honest to him were ok now…we bring back the spice to each other…
stay attractive and sexy…but…makes him miss you…
just open the communication and honesty
I don’t understand the notion of a man getting bored with his wife met my Mrs over 20 years ago been married 11 and our sex life is good yes things need changing up for either party from time to time but that’s what it’s all about I/we enjoy our time in the bedroom it’s the closeness and intimacy that being married needs speak to your man seems he’s got something going on in his head and don’t beat around asking just my opinion
You’ve been with your husband 8years, together longer assumably. Ask him straight up.
You need to openly express your feelings and thoughts. Relationship is a give and take, not take take take.
Other than that, try spice up your sex love and change things up, ask each other about likes, fantasies etc.
Also nothing wrong with sex toys. So if all he wants is a BJ, then get him a “fleshlight”. Bit selfish if he wants oral and won’t give back and just basically wants to bust a nut like you some side chick. Definitely have long needed chat. Best of luck
I don’t know him so can’t assume anything …maybe he has emotional problems and this is the only way he can 'perform ’ as he is appearing to be selfish but wasn’t before? Do you still have date nights ?maybe spice things up …go away for the night …visit Anne summers n love honey…he maybe too embarrassed to talk to you about it xx
My ex was bipolar and was only concerned about himself was in capable of having sex or making love.
you should really talk to him and not ask the masses of the internet.
Hes probably depressed and he thinks u won’t notice his lack of interest and drive if u do things to him. But he’s got no drive
Get tested if he is getting it somewhere else don’t let him get you sick with an STD till you get to the bottom of this!
Next time say “I’m first” and if he doesn’t reciprocate go to sleep. TELL him what you feel and talk about it.
He might be having trouble getting it up but to embarrassed to talk about it, ??
Have you tried talking to him about it and explaining that it does nothing for you?
Oh HELL NOOOO!
Next time you tell him, “YOUR GOING FIRST! Or NO deal!”
Or better yet- pleasure yourself - right in front of him!! Lol. He’ll get the hint.
Refuse to do it! It should be on both terms not his!!
Why oh why are people cruel and put laughing emoji’s. This lady is asking advice.
Tell him what you’ve told us. If he does change how he makes you feel them you need to make some changes. Huss saying.
Stop look at him and say exactly what you said there to him he’s your husband and your his wife just nip it in the bud X
Sounds like he has jumped the fence ,don’t do it ,lay it out to him how u feel ,tell him to be honest
Why do you keep doing it?
Wat type of man does that u don’t deserve that at all… need to talk to him and set him straight!!!
He is being lazy. Just tell him you want & need more then he is giving you
I wouldn’t do it , I would rather go without
No more more for him till he starts giving to you
He could be having erectile problems.
Communicate! Tell him how your feeling! X
Dump him and get a vibrator
Just have him pleasure you orally. switch it on em, problem solved
You should stop pleasuring him, if he wants head he has to work for it
He probly watches too much porn.
Take turns on alternate nights.
communicate, don’t blame it all on him either. Most people let themselves be go. He may not think your interested anymore or he may be having issues to you need to get back to the way you use to be be. Lots of options and issues of what could be the issue, but unless you talk to him you will never know and will will never know. Could be so many things
Get you a big old dildo and fuck yourself in front of him and see how he likes it ! And be like sorry I want mune too but you should talk to him too
Dont do it, say no, hes being extremely selfish and lazy
maybe he have erectil problem
that is extremly hard for a male to say
He’s selfish! Tell him it’s not cool…none thinks that’s cool. Stop it!! I already don’t like him
Stop pleasing him. Ask him why. And if he won’t change then you need to make a decision about what you want.
Before he has a chance to pop have some oragel in your palm and work it before he enters, it will dull his sensitivity and he will last longer.
Could be medical
Could be cheating
I’d want some answers before it happens again. Straight up ask are you cheating.
Perhaps you’re not clean and fresh down there?
No u not wrong…play his game…pleasure me n LOL MAYBE i’ll do u…payback a bitch gurl
Maybe hes actually gay and cant hide it anymore. Just a thought… It does happen.
Call him little pump pump. Maybe it will make him stop being a self gratifying waste of time.