because marriage is like a boat it looks good when someone else owns it
So what he is saying he dont want his Child to benefit from his house ??? And his paycheck ?? Well sorry buddy but some of your paycheck will go to that child until 18… and as far as his house… seems like he is very selfish… if he loved you like a husband loves his wife. He would care. Ughh man suck sometimes… jewelry isnt a bandaid or a substitute for not getting married . He dont treat you right… He wont make you his wife…
Omg its just a piece of paper! Better to have the right man than the right wedding 
Huge waste of money anyway!! Live your life together and be happy!!
Leave now. He plans on a divorce. Not in love.
Tell him to make a prenup if he is that worried.
I’m sorry but I would also never marry a sahm 
all the risk is on the dude alone
No one needs marriage. It is not the be all to make you happy. It is an old fashioned idea. Let it go and enjoy what you have.
If those are his reasons, maybe he would consider a prenuptial agreement?
It’s just a piece of paper have him write you in his will for the house
My suggestion is to leave him. He seems extremely selfish to me.
Remember you will never get social security benefits off your mate if your not married for 10 yrs. Something to remember
Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have been together forever and have never been married… What is your people’s obsession with marriage?!.. do you live together?, check. Do you have kids together?, check. Do you share responsibilities?, check. Guess what I’m the eyes of the law you are already technically married. It’s called common law and you can still get the house and half his paycheck if you seperate!! It’s called spousal support instead of alimony… You are already pretty much married… Everyone knows you are together… How about you tell us why you need to be “married” so badly… What are you lacking that you think this is needed if you already have good relationship!!
Well that 1 child is 33 and 1/3 of his gross income.
Ask him to marry you, you will find out how he feels. If you want to be happy and married then move on.
Leave… read the first sentence and if that was me I wouldn’t even waste my time 
x
What difference will marriage make?
Why are you still with him,
You have a child together yet, he doesn’t want you to “take half”
WTF are you doing with someone like that, you made the mistake of having a baby with him, what does he think will happen if you leave now, unless he’s stupid and doesn’t know what child support is ,
He needs to man up and grow the fuck up
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Is your state a community property state and did you sign any agreements
Marriage should have come first.
Y’all have a child, you have his paycheck 
Enjoy the ride… que sera sera
People were married loooong before marriage got tied to the government. Get married but don’t do it in the eyes on the law, do it how you like and get yourselves the rings you like.
No merging debt, no divorce court later, no higher tax bracket, everything just based on love. Fuck the feds
This is not a healthy relationship
He has been honest from the beginning. Sounds like you got pregnant trying to trap him. Be glad he still supports your gold digging ass, along with your kids from another marriage. You need to learn to work, and quit expecting a man to support you. Good for him for sticking to his guns.
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If he truly loved you and was truly committed to you (and his child he has with you) he would WANT to give you half his house and half his paycheck. He’s not 100% committed. He’s holding out for someone better to come along and he wants to have all his paycheck and all his house for the new person. I would give him an ultimatum. Marriage or split up. You deserve better, and the child you have with him deserves better. What father doesn’t want their child to have half of his home? He is selfish and you and the child both deserve better.
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Maybe I’m crazy, but I don’t see a problem with not wanting to get the government involved in your relationship.
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Dump him and get child support.
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I dont think hes open minded, it actually sounds like the complete opposite. It sounds like he’s stringing you along without fully committing to you cuz he doesn’t want to go through a divorce, which means he doesnt see this working out long term.
If marriage is important to you I dont think you’re gonna find it here. Seems absolutely absurd that he’ll have a kid with you but wont marry you. Like what if he died? Marriages are huge safety nets with families and he’s literally being a greedy gremlin like I’m not gonna share my money if we split up. His priorities are all messed up.
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Nope. You are making catastrophic decisions about a man who is not fully committed to you or your child/children. You need to make plans for what if anything happens to you or to him? You need to plan for your financial security, retirement, etc. If you aren’t married you have no rights, no social security benefits, no survivor benefits for your children if he passes away. What are you dreaming of? He has shown you who he is. Selfish and greedy.
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Most of Ya’lls comments are so trivial,living inside of what society says is the right way to live… It’s People like Ya’ll that make most Humans not to want Marriage. Grow the F’ck up.
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You need to start by determining what it is you think will be different if you were married to him. In many cases you will find that there is another way to fulfill you wants without being “legally married in the eyes of the law”
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Why get married its a waste of money that can be spent on better things in a relationship
After a certain amount of time you are classed as a common law wife and have the same rights as if your married without spending stupid money in a ring - which is pointless and stupid money on basically a party which again is pointless waste of money
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He’s already doing something worthy of a divorce. 
he just doesn’t want the repercussions.
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If he’s worried about you getting his stuff, sign a prenup. If he still has an excuse, leave him. I’m sorry but if you’re not getting what you want, it’s time to move on. It won’t be easy but you can’t just ask him to do something he’s not comfortable with. And he can’t ask you to compromise your marital goals if he’s not willing to budge either. If you’re okay with your lifestyle and can truly give up the idea of marriage, then stay. But it will be unfair to hike it above his head, so make sure you’re actually comfortable and not just settling.
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Marriage is just a paper
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He doesnt wanna invest it sounds like and with children involved…that concerns me, honestly I’d go
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You say he knows that you’ve wanted to get married since the beginning. I’m guessing that means you’ve known how he’s felt since the beginning, too. Nothing against being a stay at home parent, at all. It’s a very under appreciated job. However, if he’s the sole bread winner, I can’t blame him for protecting his personal interests in case it doesn’t work out.
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I’m sorry, I Don’t necessarily believe in marriage or that you have to be married to be committed to someone. My problem is the way he spoke to you… He doesn’t wanna lose his house he doesn’t want to give half of his money to you… Excuse me but you share a child together, you have every right to be able to support and have a home for that child. The way he speaks it says if he wants to make sure he’s good and doesn’t really seem to give a flying F what happens to you your children or even his own child. That in itself really would bother me. He sounds incredibly selfish… I mean he knew what you wanted when you got into this. No amount of spoiling with other things will make up for a marriage. This is some thing you too really need to sit down and talk about there are obviously prenuptial agreements… Maybe have things in writing so that he won’t lose his house. It just seems like he’s setting you up. Being a stay at home mom is wonderful however if you don’t have other things in place you will be screwed. I say look out for yourself.
That’s a bullshit excuse. You can get a marriage contract. The guy isn’t being honest and clearly doesn’t see himself in a relationship that has a fully committed future, because he’s worried about keeping their lives as divided as possible. What else is he lying about?
Talk to him. Let him know that your future includes marriage, he needs to figure out what his includes while you still have a chance of finding a good man.
I’m not sure why you want to let a piece of paper the government gives define your relationship. It want a ceremony then fine but other than that it shouldn’t be an end all to the situation.
If marriage is your desire then leave. Go find your husband girl. Nobody has your answers but you. You get what you allow. I would be embarrassed after 10 years introducing my “boyfriend” still. Your husband is waiting for you.
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Tell him you will sign a prenup. Shouldn’t have an excuse then
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Offer up a prenuptial agreement that protects his assets. Some people don’t have the same warm fuzzies about marriage that the rest of us do.
The answer to this is easy, don’t have kids with people you’re not married to.
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Don’t take it personal. He’s trying to protect his assets. Ask him how he would feel if you worked out your debts and signed a prenup… If he’s still squirmy about it you’ll have to make a tough decision. Good luck <3
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If he doesn’t want to get married for those reasons, he doesn’t trust you. You have to decide whether or not you can accept that.
Sounds like he doesn’t want to fully commit. You’re right about not getting any younger. Maybe you should keep your options open. You might find a decent man who would actually want to marry you instead of stringing you along by saying he is “open minded” about marriage. I’ve been in that kind of situation a few times. Most of the time, when it is all said and done, they won’t marry you. I understand that you wouldn’t want to end up regretting staying with someone who doesn’t fully commit to you. And those snarky things he said to you about his house and paycheck was just a shitty thing for him to say. Sorry you are in that kind of predicament. I hope things work out for you.
Marriage is just a piece of paper. It’s stupid. Keep he Government out of your relationship.
Only options. Accept his decision or move on and find someone with your mind set of wanting to get married. He told you what he decided and he didn’t with marriage so accept it or move on.
Doesnt sound like a health relationship to me…he is pulling a number on you…I would call a lawyer and check the living together laws after so many years you are entitled to a certain amount…weather you are married or not…I would have a hard time trust a man like this…selfish and liar…good luck
Marriage is a ring and a piece of paper and a different tax bracket. Stop pressuring people into marriage when it literally does not change the vitality of the relationship.
You’re thinking about marriage and he’s planning the divorce. Move on
And might I say, he should worry more about the government taking what he’s worked for than a woman who takes care of his ass.
Without marriage he is free to walk away anytime he wants without penalty. I was married for 20 yrs. thought me marriage was good we agreed I stay home a take care of the house, the kids and him. I did. But after 20 yrs he walked away. I never paid into SS or a retirement plan. All the savings was his. But becuz I was married I got some of his retirement fund paid in monthly checks. This has helped me Tremendously since now I am a senior and collecting very little in Social Security
He seems more worried about monetary valued things. I wouldn’t want to be with someone like that
‘Marriage’ is a piece of paper the government asks you to pay for. The commitment is what matters. You can still have a wedding and still exchange vows without a marriage license. Your union just isn’t recognized by the State.
I have been happily un-married to my spouse for almost 13 years. He is the product of a very ugly divorce and legal marriage scares him silly. So we just ‘tied the knot’ in our own way.
Throwing away a healthy, functioning relationship over a slip of paper is nonsense. If you MUST have a legally binding marriage contract- then look into a prenup as well. Then his assets are protected & your debts are your problem to solve.
Like you really have to be married it don’t change shit other than after 10 yrs if the other dies you get their benefits if it is more than yours will be and maybe insurance for spouse if you cannot get your own with work
Marriage is nothing but a piece of paper that will cost to much money to get rid of, shouldn’t need a piece of paper to stay with someone, its not a big deal at all
Let me ask u this. How important is it to u to be legally married? Could u be happy long term with a monogamous, committed relationship? If u knew he was devoted to u and u are devoted to him, if u pay the bills and plan the meals as a family, if u attend functions together, if u both wore a ring or any other symbol of togetherness, if for all intents and purposes u were clearly a bonded pair, would u need the piece of paper to define ur relationship? I ask this because I have lived in relationships and I have lived in marriage. The only difference i have found was the sense of permanence, which frankly makes me feel trapped. As a woman, idk it just makes me feel like the property of a man and I cannot tolerate it. I’m not saying that this is how U should feel, but perhaps it is something ur BF is afraid of? There is no shame in living and loving in a way that works for u both and if that means not being legally married but maybe having a commitment ceremony, then that is something the 2 of u should talk about. I get it, u feel like ur twisting in the wind waiting for some kind of validation that this is IT for both of u. I just know that I feel more comfortable feeling like I make the choice to be a part of this every single day. U know how people say One decision shouldn’t have to define the rest of ur life? Many people feel that way about marriage. Try to find a way to compromise, because that is precisely what a marriage is. U cannot have it ALL or NOTHING. If marriage is absolutely on ur list of Must Have’s, and its absolutely on his list of Won’t Do’s, This may not be the man for u. Don’t throw in the towel yet. If he is that important to u, try everything. If u are that important to him, he will meet u in the middle.
Leave him. He’s not your type your type is a man that want marriage. If u want marriage be with someon will marry you. Do not waste your time with some one who won’t. If he just wants to be bf/gf then he needs to be with someone who wants the same. Ppl need to stop giving passes on certain things. Date your type.
If my partner asked me to marry him, of course I would in a heartbeat.
Do I need him to? No of course not. And I certainly won’t have the government decide how important my relationship is.
That being said, if its that important to you and neither of you are willing to change your minds or compromise unfortunately I can’t see it working in the long run.
Tell him you can sign a prenup if thats his worry. If he still says no - then go. Its important to you so why should you not have your dream? He knew you wanted to marry so 4yrs and a kid later to then say no is harsh
Listen if your relationship is working then why break it for a piece of papers? He should put Your name on the House note if not yours Your child’s at least to show he’s committed to Your relationship. If his doing what he’s supposed to be done by a man of marriage then what’s the problem? Does he have you n your child together on his insurance, is your name on the car note if you have one you’re paying for? Do you have a bank account in both your names together? Are you his emergency contact? Are you on his retirement account if he has one? Is he on any of yours? Even without that piece of paper if you two are doing this for each other then YOU ARE MARRIED 
You know what he’s not a real man get rid of him… You gave him a kid 4 years if that is not enough f*** him
Marriage is a partnership!!! He obviously doesn’t want that. Save up and move on,
You have to make a choice plain and simple. Which is more important… this relationship or the dream of marriage.
The very fact he stated he didn’t want you to wind up with his house would be enough for me. That alone would have killed it. When you have a partner it’s 50/50. That goes for everything. When it becomes unbalanced and more one sided then there is something wrong. He has too much of a me attitude. If he truly loved you this would not even be an issue and just because you have a child together does not mean anything at all. Marriage shows commitment. That you will stay together no matter what. That everything is shared. It also shows that that person won’t just walk out when they see fit. To me, being a different generation, by refusing it to me means he can kick you out whenever he sees fit and you get nothing. That he can do as he pleases without consequences. That’s what this situation says to me. It’s a red flag.
Marriage is just a piece of paper!
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He didn’t marry you at first he will never marry you because he is scared period
My man and I will be celebrating a decade together this weekend. I’m dying to get married sigh he went through a nasty divorce and lost parental custody (voluntarily to his mom) of his daughter in the process. It was a mess. I just told him last night I wasn’t going to die a spinster sigh after reading through these comments… I now understand a different path for us that will hopefully support us both 
thank you
If those are his concerns…maybe get unoffically married. Ceremony and everything just without the legal bs
You need a new boyfriend… make sure next one has your same ideals and is not a selfish prick…
With one kid between y’all, you already should have money Together for the baby… Maybe he doesn’t want to marry you and bin him money because you already have other kids and he doesn’t want to share that money with kids that are not his 
There are Pre nuptial agreements that can take place before a Marriage. Though a Couple can live happily Together without gettin hitched. Why is Marriage so important too you? 
Sign a prenup or just leave him & why is he so sure that it won’t work & you’ll be taking half of everything? You guys have a blended family so if ur gonna treat all ur kids as ur own than this money should be yours too luv
If he was to die unexpectedly, God forbid…where would that leave her and the Children? He sounds Selfish, who cares about jewelry? If he really loves her, I would think after 4 yrs he would make her a legal partner! I’m sure she probably cleans his house, does his laundry, cooks his meals, takes care of their Child! Move on Honey, someone out there will put you before Material Goods! Protect your future, he certainly isn’t!
So not to marry is a healthy relationship? He does not want to get married she does so find a guy who will marry
Bull ,if you together you share everything bills money no matter . He just don’t want to get married.
I would say goodbye. Find someone that shares your ideals. He does not from what you are saying.
Prenup. You don’t do one, if something were to happened to either one of you, the state gets involved. A prenup is NOT a bad idea.
What’s marriage these days? It’s just a piece of paper. It sounds like you have a pretty good relationship anyway, so why are hankering after something that isn’t going to make any difference to how you relate to each other? From the way you spell ‘paycheck’, I take it you’re American. I have no idea what the laws are in the US, but I can tell you for certain that, if were living here in New Zealand, the law would treat you the same as if you were already married. You’ve been together for 4 years. You have a child together. In my country, that means you are already entitled to half of everything, as well as child support, regardless of whether you’re married or not.
Run, run, run, as fast as u can.
He’s a loser.
I say fuuck his debt, fuuck his house and his money and fuuck him.
I believe in marriage (53 years) but if he’s good to you and u have a good relationship, leave it alone. If u want kids have. Hes set against it for now. My daughter and her husband went together 4 years before they got married. Good luck =)
So, he is good for you, he is good for the kids, you have a healthy relationship. Yes, I see why you as a woman want to start trouble. You’re bored, of course…
Marriage is a piece of paper. But if it’s some thing you really want maybe talk to him about a prenup to make him feel more secure.
Do a prenuptial agreement
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Well he’s selfish. You better move on without him.
He’s probably secretly still dating Becuz you two “not married” 
It’s only a piece of paper that can really complicate things …if it ain’t broke don’t fix it …and if you don’t like it leave
Then just agree to sign a prenup?
Sounds like he is already planning for your split. Yikes.
If you want to throw away a good relationship over an overpriced piece of paper go right ahead dumbass
What’s the obsession with being married I never understood it?
The risk vs reward for men is not in men’s favor, everything is great now why jeopardize it over a piece of paper
I married once at 21 & would never do it again & stayed with my husband until he passed away.
Find someone worthy of you
He doesn’t want to share anything with you. It’s crystal clear, run.
You don’t have to get marrried