Your daughter is only 4 years old she doesn’t even know anything about a obituary.
as long as they treat her well that’s all that should matter.
You need to talk to him about it and find out if it’s just an oversight. And you need to talk to others in the family to know for sure what happened. Don’t decide before you have all the facts.
NO matter what…
If you decide to cut ties?
Be prepared for ties to you to be cut also.
Don’t worry about the name, party, picnics or coffee.
Know who you are and move on.
If they ever decide to include you?
Feelings are going to get hurt. Will you be mentioning your boyfriend in your families obituaries?
So don’t be to quick to end things.
You never know when something might change 
.
Unless she’s reading obituaries how would she know she was left out at 4 years old
Nowhere did you mention speaking to your boyfriend about it or speaking to the grandmother about it shouldn’t that be the first step
Sounds like you’re being dramatic. If you grossly overreact to all the small things like this I can understand why your name was left off.
And its bc you don’t have kids yet sound like
1 Like
Uhm we can’t really get mad here, the obituary should have blood or step children that were taken care of for decades
That’s ridiculous. If you’re that petty, I bet the boyfriend hopes you cut ties with him too.
People forget. . It is a hard time emotionally.
You’re not married you won’t go on the obituary
2 Likes
NO. Absolutely not. Hang in there, remember the love.
Find a different hill. You are cutting off you nose to spite your face.
Stop it . Respect the family
Forgive and let it go.
Hahaha, karobandika…
Let it go , get over it
My goodness…petty. let it be.
1 Like
Look, they are in a very stressful, heartbreaking situation. Don’t take it personally
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Are you real
1 Like
I mean my cunt of aunt didn’t add my sister (half) because my pa and nana denied until a few years ago that she was my dads even though she looks and acts just like him. So I mean have a conversation with your boyfriend on how and why it hurt you and that you don’t want that toxic crap in your life.
God said we MUST forgive to be forgiven.
2 Likes
This is so stupid…
1 Like
Key word here is " boyfriend "
Get rid of the meanness and the bullshit right now or you’ll deal wit it the rest of your life. Please take my word for it.
Talk to your boyfriend.
Maybe you all should sit down and talk, ask why… Don’t just throw everything away with your boyfriends family because you are upset, without finding out why first.
1 Like
When my mom died I didnt put my step kids in there but when my step niece was killed they listed me but not my husband no one was mad about it
1 Like
It’s too much drama. I understand your feelings. But funerals and times like this bring out the worst in people. If you make an issue of it, it’s just going to create undue hard feelings. My pastors wife used to tell me to just be sweet. I never mastered that quality. But I understand what she wanted for me. Peace. Peace is a wonderful thing.
6 Likes
I wouldn’t cut ties but I would definitely talk to the boyfriend and let him deal with it. It’s not really your place to address his family unless your on that base with them. Sounds like your not and there maybe be friction there. I would most definitely be hurt if other girlfriends were added. If it was just marital family, no I wouldn’t care.
Why don’t you make a memorial for her. Post it on Facebook. Pics of her and him together. Say something sweet like memories made with poppa are the best memories.
8 Likes
Say something. That was a direct cut and snack in the face. First talk to your boyfriend. Tell him how hurt you are , and maybe come up together with just the right words to say and express to them. I would definitely guard and protect my daughter from getti g any closer to them if they are going to continue their kuniving ways that hurt so badly!
1 Like
I understand how hurtful that can be. It feels like they view you as separate instead of part of the family or one big family. When my husbands Nana passed away he was very hurt when he read her obituary. His family added my name and our bio daughters name, but not my 2 bio sons who he adopted. It can really make the kids feel that separation that they probably already do feel a sense of. Fortunately we don’t have to deal with his family as he cut ties with them years ago. Chances are there will be another instance that you could use to bring this up to them and let them know how hurtful it is and they you and your husband strive to make all of your kids feel important and like part of the family and their support in that would be appreciated.
1 Like
love please don’t get upset over this! Don’t let it bother you. You can’t force people to include you. Your child doesn’t mean anything less to her poppy. Its not worth it. Some people get bitter over stuff like this and it doesn’t bother those people one bit. In fact that was more than likely the reason you were left out. Someone wanted you to speak out over it. Me personally I’d hold a big memorial for poppy’s friends and all of his family including the buttholes who left you out. Host a dinner, share pictures, and let your daughter talk about her poppy. You can get bitter or better. And this is probably one of the worst places to ask a question like this. These women are ASKHoles! I have the biggest softest heart and I use to get so upset when I felt left out. But I realized getting out of my character or getting upset did nothing. Bring something positive about it
5 Likes
Why would you just cancel them out of your life? Ask why you were left out. If you feel like it is too awkward to ask then you have your answer. Have you ever planned a funeral? It is hard and emotionally exhausting and they were grieving. Cut them some slack and let the BF handle it, if he chooses to do so. If he doesn’t want to, then that may be the real problem.
3 Likes
I wasn’t Included in my brothers why the fuck would you and your daughter be included in HIS grandfathers obituary? ( btw I should have been but it wasn’t written by family- it was written by the sheriffs or whomever writes suicide obituaries)
You sound like an entitled spoiled brat.
1 Like
I would discuss with your boyfriend. It may have been intentional in which you may need to find out why or it could have been an honest mistake. If it was an accident, it doesn’t make it ok but it may not be worth losing “family” over. Emotions run high at these times and the most obvious people and memories are overlooked.
I would talk to them. It may not have been intentional. Sometimes when people pass especially unexpectedly it’s hard to gather your thoughts. They may feel bad about it also. I’m sorry this happened to you and your daughter
@ 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒅𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒓’𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒊’𝒅 𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖?𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒊𝒕?
𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝒔𝒐 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆. 𝑰’𝒎 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒏𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 … 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒖𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒃𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐
1 Like
My grandpa just passed tho he wasnt biologically my grandpa he had been in my life since I was 12, when my “grandma” and “aunts” made his obit my sister and I and my kids were left out but my cousins step kids were added. It hurt it hurt a lot so I understand where your coming from. They choose not to associate with us now and I couldn’t tell you why. What I’ve learned is to just move on you cant make people feel bad they knew what they were doing and nothing you say will change what’s been done.my kids amd your daughter aren’t old enough to even understand the obit but they do know that they were loved by said person and that’s all that matters…its honestly just us thats hurt because we are old enough to understand but we can heal and move on
1 Like
Nothing like making a family loss all about you. I would never add a “girlfriend” to an obit but would add survived by # of grandkids. I say get over it. Support your partner, Let the family mourn their loved one peacefully without adding unnecessary drama. Make your own tribute to honor him and your child.
4 Likes
Don’t add drama on top of death
5 Likes
Do not make this about you.
4 Likes
Personally I would just be curious as to what the reasoning was especially if you all had a great relationship…but now is certainly NOT the time.
But I wouldn’t be upset about it…like at all…I’d be more upset at the loss of my loved one.And concerned about how my child is hurting. 
last thing crossing my mind would be my name in the paper.
… maybe it couldve been was an honest mistake due to grief and such …or maybe they flat out don’t like you…
but that should be resolved as a family during more appropriate circumstances.
And absolutely you should not leave your boyfriend or his family for not being mentioned in an obituary… seems petty. You even said your kid is so upset about losing “poppy” how would she feel if half her family was randomly gone too.
You need to let them know you were hurt and go from there…but not now. It’s not the time.
Sorry for your loss…and Goodluck w everything
2 Likes
This is a teaching moment for you to teach your daughter to be the bigger person and let it go.
3 Likes
Those of you saying the op is making this all about her have never been the brunt of this type of slight before. My kid and I have been the object of stuff like this and I witnessed it happen to others. It was done to be hurtful and mean. You don’t list every other person in the family and purposefully leave out certain names.
5 Likes
You aren’t married. Your daughter isn’t your boyfriend’s bio daughter. As much as it hurts you aren’t “official” family, so no reason for you to be included in obit. If you were married I could see you being upset… but you don’t really have a leg to stand on even if they included the others. Are the other’s engaged?
6 Likes
I would be upset, but just remember that they’re grieving. It’s honestly not the right time to make arguments as they just lost a loved one. Maybe you can address your hurt feelings once they’re doing better with the loss. Just have an honest conversation with them. Since the man who passed was really close to your daughter, it seems like they had a good relationship. Don’t take that away from your daughter.
2 Likes
This isn’t about you or your daughter…Adding drama to death, will just make more drama.
4 Likes
Atleast ur daughter should be mentioned
2 Likes
Should you cut ties with family because you’re butthurt? No.
6 Likes
Why are you making it about you? It’s about the person they knew decades before you came along… get off your high horse.
5 Likes
They knew what they were doing, they knew exactly how it would effect you probably a reflection on how they’ve always felt about you in my opinion. Have the balls to stand up to them but chances are once you call them out they’ll do exactly what half these comments are doing, blaming the victim
Let it go. Resentment let’s them live rent free in ur head.
3 Likes
Honestly it’s not that big of a deal. I wouldn’t bring it up cus they and you are mourning. I wouldn’t make it about you. Your bf knows how y’all feel but it’s nothing he can actually fix
2 Likes
I would speak my mind about it and let them know how it hurt your feelings and Anyone saying your making a big deal is wrong. Girlfriend or not doesn’t matter. Y’all are still family and should’ve been included. Especially after being together so long. Now a days people don’t even get married anymore. So a Piece of paper shouldn’t define you as being family or not to them
4 Likes
It’s typically only the biological family and usually only immediate family is listed(depending on how the family wants the obit). I’m assuming the other children were listed because they are his children. I wouldn’t take offense to it. You aren’t married…
You guys are missing the fact she said every other Girlfriend and child is mentioned.
3 Likes
Life is too short. you dont know whats been said about you behind closed doors. Just remove them from your life and move on.
Your post did not indicate whether you’ve had conflict with your boyfriend’s family in the past., if so, that could be the reason. If not, then the only other thing that I can think of is that 1)you and bf are not married and 2)your daughter is not your bf’s biological daughter. Since he raised her, you probably think that should not matter. For some people, titles and paperwork matter.
This is a recipe for disaster… 
Don’t worry about it love. Mayb jst mention it to Ur partner to get it off yr chest. They obviously put blood relatives. Life is too short. Forgive and forget
Good grief some of the comments 
Meow!!!.
You have every right to feel the way you do it seems like there is more to this however as you said at the end of your post it’s been one thing after another so clearly there is more to this. However if they’re going to be petty then let them, you and your daughter know he loved your child so I wouldn’t worry to much about the rest of the family you crack on hun and dont let pettiness bring you down. X
1 Like
I understand where you are coming from however since you are not married to him your not entitled to be put in it. If the child is not biologically his or adopted by him she doesn’t necessarily get put in there either. After all it’s just some words on paper. They spelled my name wrong on my mother’s obituary, it did not bother me.
1 Like
I wouldn’t touch on this subject with a 10 foot pole. Let it go for now, yes your feelings are hurt, sometimes by addressing it to the family in question may cause you more hurt. Let it go and don’t put the family down in front of your daughter, remember she loved them!
1 Like
When my husband’s grandfather passed away only he was listed and we were married. They didn’t even list his son. Everyone was stressed
Wash your hand completely of his family… move on to a family you and your daughter are fully accepted. No need to force or no need wait for your boyfriend nor his family to accept you or your kids . Move on there is awesome families out there who are always better.
1 Like
If the other boyfriends/girlfriends and kids were added and not yours I would be upset as well. I would wonder why they all were added and myself and my child wasn’t. Especially if your child and grandfather were close and thought a lot of each other. If they added them y’all should have been added. Just my thought.
My sympathy is with you. And I understand fully on how that little girl feels. A few years ago my biological father passed away. My sister was in the obituary but I wasn’t even mentioned and the whole family knew he was my bio dad. And last year my adopted father passed away. All 4 girls weren’t mentioned in the obit. Yes it does hurt. But just try to remember the good days. I know it’s hard to do when you are just trying to prove that you are family. But sometimes battles aren’t even worth fighting for. If the grandfather felt love for your little one. Honestly, that is all that matters.
1 Like
It hurts not to be included well there’s nothing you can do about it now maybe talk to your boyfriend about how you feel because typically when those things are left out somebody didn’t say anything
1 Like
So having recently suffered a loss and planned a funeral I will tell you that they ask very specific questions about the deceased in regards to family and that is what they write the obituary based off of which most likely didn’t include you and your daughter because you are not married and the child is not your boyfriends biologically. I honestly wouldn’t take it personal unless you’re looking for a reason too. Death in itself tears family’s apart don’t let something silly like this be a factor.
1 Like
Usually unless married, names aren’t me mentioned…
1 Like
Possibly an honest mistake? I mean when someone is grieving it happens. I was at a funeral and they left out one of the biological grand children’s names. But it was a honest mistake not done intentionally
I’m appalled at how rude some of u r! She’s not making it about her or the death. I think her feelings r validate. I see why people be hesitant in writing, because of some of u.
because she isn’t legally his…My son has a “step son”, but has not legally adopted him because his bio dad is still in his life. When my parents died, we did not name the great grandchildren in the obit, just the # of them. No one really reads obits closely…Let it go
No and honestly its pathetic. Doesnt matter if your child calls him dad. That man isnt survived by your child since iits not blood. And definitely not by you. Neither of you have a place in that obituary just because youre dating his grandson. And quite honestly its disgusting you are throwing a fit about it.
Humana Medicare Plan hospital stays doctor office visits
Don’t be petty- it’s clearly beneath you…
It’s your boyfriends family and it’s not his child… I get it. If you were married and this happened a different story
10 Likes
She’s not family until they are married. No, should not be in the obituary.
If it really is one thing after another, of them showing that they don’t care about you or your daughter then I probably would not stick around. Because if they’ve already known her for over 3 years and they act like they don’t care about her she’s getting to an age where she will see that
Why are you making the death of someone else’s family member about you? If your daughter viewed him as her grandfather, then let her mourn him as such. Let it go.
She will see how differently she is treated than all the other children
Honestly, is this really the hill you want to die on with this relationship? You have some reevaluating to do, and if you can’t move past being left out of something that will undoubtedly line birdcages tomorrow, then maybe your boyfriend should cut ties with you.
1 Like
We all just have our own opinion. The longer you live, the more you observe and realize about life and relationships. Girlfriend/boyfriend does not translate to ‘family’ generally speaking. When you have children in your home, living with a boyfriend/girlfriend does not translate to family either. It is in certain times, such as these, that you see where you are, when outright words may not be spoken. There is always a reason for everything people do. Sometimes you know, but just don’t want to acknowledge Truth. It is hard on children to be so involved and attached to a family when they really are not ‘family’. You, her mother, were never grandpa’s daughter-in-law. You can’t list all ‘friends of the family’. And I realize you didn’t see yourself as that, but strictly speaking, that is who you are. The boyfriend has not manned up to be a husband and father, so there lies the problem it seems.
3 Likes
Ask who wrote the obituary.
If your boyfriend wasn’t there, he couldn’t have reminded them of you and your little girl.
It wasn’t his fault.
1 Like
Sounds like a dysfunctional family. Biological children, but not their mothers, should have been included yes. If they included the girlfriend they should have included you. He knew child most of her life. She should’ve counted. U say it’s been one thing after another … what does 6our boyfriend say about it? Does he consider u and daughter family members? U’ll likely never be treated different than now.
I understand your hurt and I am sorry. I would tell your boyfriend how you feel. Wait until some time has passed, quite a bit and talk to them about it honestly. Ask them why your name and your daughters name were excluded. This was in my opinion in very poor taste to exclude you both. Death is not the time for petty grievances or whatever this is. Remember in times of grief people are not thinking straight and it may have been a mistake.
Don’t let it bother you …feelings will eventually pass… You were not really a part of the family because you and your boyfriend weren’t married…similiar situation happened to me. I’m 71. Can tell you LIFE goes on.
1 Like
Coming from your daughers perspective i was hermy grand mother married another man after my real grand father i never knew him but i knew the man she married and he treated me as his own have her remember the good he showed her and not what the fools that was left did they really dont matter what does matter is the love she was shown from him
Get over your hurt feelings and be a grown up. Let it go, life is too short to let something like this mar your relationship.
1 Like
If your boyfriend isn’t as mad at his family as you are, he doesn’t deserve you! He should be a man that’s there for you and defending you to his family!
1 Like
ask if you want to know… it could have been an oversight… I’ve been left out of obituaries and really didn’t care… it’s not about me it’s an obituary! It’s more to let people know they passed not a pissing contest!
1 Like
You are allowing his family to take valuable real estate in your head. The reaction you are expressing now is the exact expression they were hoping you would have. If you love your boyfriend and he loves you then overlook this immature emotional game his family is playing with you and show them that what they throw at you is water off a ducks back. Remember you can choose your friends but not your family, they come with the package. You will have to put up with them. If you are not prepared to do that and you feel that they will make your life miserable, then it’s best you pack your bags and leave, you deserve a happy peaceful life, in a family that accepts and embraces you
You could have put your own verse in the paper but you feel so strong about cut them out of your lives ots they loss good luck
I understand. But it sounds like she is old enough to be talked to let her know that she is still a wonderful amazing person. If you choose to walk away it’s to let her know how important she is to you. Try to not make it about other people’s feelings. Death and change have a tendency to bring out the pettiness in people. Try not to pass that to your daughter.
Sometimes when you get to the funeral parlor and you are stressed already , you can actually forget people. It happened to me when both my parents passed and I forgot my Dads nephew.
It’s not important that you are mentioned, there’s alot of obituaries that don’t mention names. To even think about disassociating with his family over your names not put in the obituary is pretty peddy. They lost a close family member, focus on that. is it really that important.
Go to them and tell them how you fill…and remember when a loved one passes, It’s hard to get everything right. Your mined just isent clear. I wouldn’t just leave . Without knowing what happened. Our leave a family that you enjoy otherwise, just for this …