Go hang out at a guy’s house alone and see how he likes it
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This sounds like a trust issue. If you can’t trust him alone with another woman should reevaluate
Here’s my take and my reasons. When I met my husband, my house was always open to friends. So usually there was guys and some girls all over the place. 4 guys & 2 girls who stayed religiously… Every single one from one time to another would always try to make their way to my bed… They even told me we wanna hang with you because you’re fine…when I got with hubby, they all had to go. Years later, i let a girl I knew come around…more of a step family member. She’d hold and help with my kids, all while trying to sleep with my husband. He immediately told me and we both got all-over her ass…Call me insecure, IDGAF, but I trusted a lot only to get burned. So to not cause problems, we don’t have friends of the opposite sex…and here we are 10 years later, 6 kids and still going…do what’s best for you. Not anyone else. At the end of the day none of us are there…
Would he be ok if you had a Male friend and did the same? Personally, I think friends is fine. Hanging out alone in their apartment, considering the timing they met…I don’t know how that would make me feel.
A man and a woman can be friends but hanging out with the opposite sex alone when you are in a relationship us absolutely unacceptable and completely disrespectful.
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People should be friends with whoever they choose. If you have trust issues in your relationship then you should end it. A person is gonna cheat if they want to and it doesn’t make a difference if they have friends of the opposite sex or not. Marriage doesn’t mean you get to control the other person
Your insecure, I trust my husband completely until given a reason not too, if you can’t trust him completely then you should not. Of married him
My husband’s best friend is me? And likewise? Like wtf? Lol.
No. You cannot go chill over at some girl’s house, just the two of you, if you’re married, bro. Especially if it’s not a mutual friend with your wife. Sorry ‘bout it.
And I’m not a Christian, so…
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stop it before anything starts
My bf has female friends. I would not have an issue with him going over and hanging out with them. But he has known them longer than he has known me. Now if he had met them while we were separated i would have an issue with it.
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I’m married, my best friend is a guy 
we go out to eat together, hang out at each others houses & all that. Its strictly platonic, at one point in time my best friend & I lived together before I was married. My kids call him uncle and him and my husband call each other brother. I let both of them know how important it was to me for them to get along in the beginning & they built a relationship of their own. You’re not giving much back story but at the end of the day, if she plays a big role in his life you should try to get to know her and befriend her yourself. It seems to me like you’re really insecure and have trust issues & that’s something you should work on. Given if it made my husband uncomfortable I probably rwouldn’t hang out with him alone, I’d wait until my husband was available to hang with us both. But my husband isn’t insecure and he trusts me as I do him. Some people do have the opposite sex as friends. It doesnt always mean they’ve slept together or they intend to.
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People are going to do what they want. No matter who says what, or how. If the relationship is valued, there will be communication about all concerns. Right?
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In the beginning of our relationship I had all guy friends. I still have those friends and we still are friends we have moved 1000s of miles apart or we would still hang out. He is also married with kid’s as am I. If we lived closer yes we would still hang out and visit. He is more of a brother to me then a friend. My husband had no issues with it what so ever. If there are trust issues in the relationship then the issues are deeper then male/female relationship
Get yourself a male friend. Your SO will get the point.
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The problem is you are a Christian. Religion has. Nothing…absolutely nothing to do with it. That’s why he has that friend. You ain’t doing or giving what he needs and wants! Check yourself first! I am married and I go hang with my males friend till morning and my husband will never one day say anything about it. He can do the same. We trust each other and been together 12 strong years and till death do us part. After marriage, life shouldnt only be wife nad kids…or husband and kids…we all need space to refresh and restart!
Yes. If you don’t believe this, you’re with the wrong type of man.
Ask if u can hangout with them. If he says no then maybe you have a reason not to trust him but you might be over reacting a little unless you have another reason not to trust him…
I’m the only female friend my husband needs 💁🏻 and if he had a long time female friend before me I’d be expected to be invited to hang out with them. Not them alone. Would he be okay if you had a guy friend he couldn’t hang out with?
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It all comes down to trust I have trust that my husband won’t cheat so as long as I have meet this female and know she is not trying to have any type of relationship with my husband other than a friendship then I’m fine with this
Ummm nooo it’s inapropriate for a married man to be hanging out alone at a woman’s place friend or not. If it’s just as friends how come you’re not allowed to go? And I’d tell her look it’s not appropriate and I’d appreciate if you could tell him he’s not allowed over without me or just say oh yeah bring you over for sure though
If she’s a friend have her hang out at your home with the two of you.
My husband has female friends I know all of them. But he pick up stuff from there homes but he don’t go and chili with them. It’s really about how much you trust him. Or how well u know him I guess.
No and that’s just common sense . If it makes you uncomfortable he shouldn’t do it period.
I had male work friends I met after me and my husband married but I never hung out alone with them only in groups
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Idkkkkk personally I couldn’t trust my dude being alone at a woman’s house without some kind of sexual tension going on. And personally I wouldn’t be okay with myself hanging out with a man when I have my own at home. It’s okay for you to feel that way, what could they possibly be doing that they can’t come over to your house and do together? Right, so invite her over and watch their eyes and body movements when certain things are brought up.
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There are people on both sides of this coin and honestly I see both sides. But I will say that when my husband asks me something I honor his wishes because I want him to know he is my number one priority. My husband comes before any friend of the opposite sex would. I also believe my husband would do the same for me. If something bothered me, he would honor me and our marriage and our me and my feelings first. Yes you do have to trust each other. Trust is easy when you know you have each other’s best interest at heart.
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It could be either way honestly, and if I was you Id go with my gut. If you are a Christian then God ought to be at the center of your marriage. He will give you the prompting and direction. Trust Him. And you will know what actions to take if any need be taken. God speed.
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Trust is key. He needs to include you and know other friends. I think you have to know what each other is ok with and respect that. Some people are more sensitive to it.
Your husband/ wife should be your #1 best friend in my opinion. If you cnt be 100% honest with your spouse about everything then what the heck are y’all doing together. For better and for worse right. Marriage is no fairytale, but honesty is key.
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We dont “hang out” with friends of the opposite gender alone. Too much opportunity for temptation, whether intentional or not. People dont usually start out pursuing an affair. It starts as an innocent lunch out.
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It’s inappropriate to hang out alone with a friend of the opposite gender if either is married. First, it puts people in a position for other inappropriate things to happen. Second, it looks very suspicious to everyone. If they were hanging out while you were separated and now you’re back together, it’s inappropriate to continue. It’s not really about not trusting your spouse. There are boundaries that married people should maintain if they want to stay married. It’s okay to have your own friends, but your priority should be in being friends with your spouse. That is, if you want to stay married.
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I have a male bestie who is straight. It took my husband a while to be comfortable with that. The more he’s been around us, the more he sees we are like brother and sister and there is nothing going on there. My man trusts me and I trust him. He has female friends as well and again, at first I was a little irked, but now I’m okay with it. I trust him and he loves me. We’ve been together almost ten years. You have to be secured in yourself and your relationship for this to work. If your having doubts, you either need to have a serious conversation with your significant other, or you need to have a come to Jesus meeting with yourself.
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My husband does have a couple of old childhood friends he grew up with that he’ll say hi to or hug when we see them in public. But I would never be ok with him just hanging out with any woman, and he would never do it either. And it’s not from a lack of trust. People talk and love drama and scandals. Alot of women see a married man and take it as a challenge for some gross reason. My husband would never put himself in a position where there could even be a rumor or situation. And vice versa. We respect what we have too much and dont ever wanna give anybody an open door to come between us in any way shape or form!
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My husband and i have friends if the opposite sex. We also have the unwritten rule that those friends don’t come over if spouse isn’t home. Hang out in public places…depending on where (No bars) courtesy. Respect for my love.
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Absolutely hell no. Very disrespectful and inappropriate. If he truely loves you then he will respect that fact that you are uncomfortable with it. It has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with respect
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Nope! Nope! Nope! If she is just a “friend” is he comfortable bringing her out to say like dinner with you?! If the answers is no… she’s not a “Friend”
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My husband and I do not have friends or the opposite sex…something innocent could turn inappropriate quick!
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I’m a Christian. This has nothing to do with your faith and everything to do with his betrayal. It would be one thing if it was a friend that he sees only at work or the gym… but there’s never a reason for a married man to go to a single woman’s house alone.
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He can have what ever friends but there’s no way he’s going to be allowed to hang out alone with a woman and at her place not happening not on my watch
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It’s not okay. I don’t care what the circumstances were when they met. If he wants to seriously work on your marriage, he will end this “friendship”. Especially if they are hanging out at her place. There is no way this is ok.
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Nope, My hubby and I are each other’s best friend and people that we know are married couples also so No we don’t have that in our marriage and it has been working beautifully for 34 years
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Does nobody on here trust their significant other? I have known my husband for over 20 years and know his character. He simply wouldn’t cheat and neither would I. We love and TRUST each other too much to do so.
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Ok it’s one thing if they were friends before you got together but since you are separated and then he made this “friend” no it’s not ok at all. My husband has plenty of female friends before we got together and I have plenty of male friends. We have met each other’s friends and they are now our friends. We wanted each other to meet our friends it was never an issue.
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It’s one thing havent a friend of the opposite sex but another going to hang out at her place alone. Have you addressed this with him? Have you met her? Do you gh guys hang out together?
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I trust my husband. Period. So no, I wouldn’t mind. He has never given me a reason to not trust nor has he faltered in his trust of me.
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So I had a close friend who was a guy. We both were single so we spent a lot of time together. Once I started dating my boyfriend, I severely backed off on my friendship with my guy friend. My man and I hung out with my friend together and a few times I went over to my friend’s house without my man. However, my boyfriend lived almost 2 hours away and it was a family bbq and I took my kids. So it wasn’t just myself and my friend. Now my friend is in a relationship too. We have all 4 got together a few times. It’s all about respect. It doesn’t matter if there’s nothing romantic about it. I respect my guy enough to not be in situations that could even remotely make him uncomfortable
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My husband’s best friend is a female and I trust both of them completely. I know for a fact they don’t want each other. I guess it’s the type of people you surround yourself with and your jealousy level.
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My mother in law, used to say, you don’t have to worry about a situation, if you don’t put yourself in it! A lot of truth in that statement.
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If she’s just a friend he should have no reason to exclude you from any of there plans my husband would never go hang out at a woman’s house alone and neither would I, friend or not that’s respectful to your spouse especially if they meet while separated
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Yes. Nothing wrong with it. If you don’t have trust you have no relationship period.
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Its ok to have friends but when it comes down to them hanging out alone. Hell no, thats disaster waiting to happen! Oh and if you question him about it or show him how you feel and he gets mad,im sorry but he’s already cheating on you then. I was married to a man for 18 years and i trusted him 
till the day i caught him with his best friends wife. Trust me listen to that gut feeling, it’s usually right!
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It’s an issue of trust.
We have a lot of same friends and I have gone places with our male friends.
It’s not that big a deal.
We have been together 38 years. So it’s not an issue unless you are jealous or actually having an affair or something.
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Being alone with someone of the opposite sex is something my husband and I agreed on as being not ok. It’s a safeguard that we have set in place for our marriage.
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I’ve always had men who were friends, ever since I was very young. I got along with them better, less drama and cattiness, and I had more in common with them most of the time. There was never anything sexual or inappropriate with these friends, on either side. I still have kept them through marriages etc. we are tight knit friends and depend on each other guys and girls alike. But I guess if you feel like you can not trust your spouse to be faithful, I can see why it would make you uncomfortable. But in that case, you probably need to focus on why you can not trust your spouse and how you can build a better relationship.
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Of course BUT there has to be agreed on conduct. My husband and his friend has to meet in public places that are well lit.
I trust my husband enough that he has female friends and my husband respect me enough not to see his female friends alone. And the same degree of trust and respect that I give him as well. I have male friends, I talk to them on the social media account that I share with my husband but I do not see my male friends alone.
I totally trust my husband 100%, he can and does have female friends that he hangs out alone and in groups with ! Never has been a problem and never will be !
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No one should ever put theirself in a compromising position! It can lead to things even though you don’t mean to! Stay away from even the appearance of evil!
I’d be uneasy too. Ask how he would feel if the situation was reversed, if it was you hanging out with a male friend at his house.
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Neither of us has a need to have Seperate friends of the opposite sex. His friends are my friends and mine are his. We don’t have Seperate friends and we don’t spend time Seperate with friends of the opposite sex, because we have no need to.
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This doesn’t sound quite right. Have you shared his with your pastor. Seek counseling.
I do not think it is appropriate. If a partner does not feel comfortable then I believe it is disrespectful to continue to be around that person. It opens the door…
I am fine with it. I trust him and I know where he sleeps. I am a Christian also, I have no idea what that would have to do with it.
There’s a difference between an opposite gendered friend they met before y’all got together and one they met while you were temporarily SEPARATED. Clearly you don’t trust him and he does not respect you. Y’all need to talk some stuff out.
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Nope absolutely not ever under any circumstance
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I believe it all comes down to individual boundaries…it’s nothing more…would he be ok with you being at another mans place…especially one he didn’t know …probably not…every relationship needs the boundaries talk …some are different but you guys should compromise and come up with something that is comfortable for the both of you…and if those boundaries are not followed the person crossing them doesn’t respect the other… And should no longer be in that relationship.
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I’m the same way. I should be the only girl my husband needs. He has guy friends for that reason.
As long as that is all it is why not. They probably both have spouses it is called being faithful like your vows say ( keep thee only onto)
Given the circumstances of how he met her it’s a big no for me. My husband and I do have friends of the opposite sex but I don’t go out with them alone for respect to my husband. I expect the same from him. Also if his girl friend doesn’t try to know me too, that’s a no for me.
Regardless of his feelings on it, he should respect yours. If he wants to have a female friend, he should never be hanging out alone with her. There’s too much risk of temptation for things to go too far. It’s inappropriate for a married man to hang out with another woman like that.
to each there own, my nephews wife, moved her friend n and there best friends.
He met her while you two were separated? Nope that’s not a “friend”. 
I have a best friend that is a male but my husband knows him to because we are close with his family but we are never alone and I would never betray my husband or family…
I am a christian too and that has nothing to do with why i dont want my husband to sit, alone in a womans home. The Bible talks about temptation. And the bible talks about love and love is not necessarily TRUST. Trust and believe are NOT the same thing. We want to BELIEVE in each other, that does not mean TRUST. God says to trust IN HIM…not PEOPLE. The biggest, most elite Christian artists, preachers, singers, have been temped and lost. We are suppose to PROTECT OUR MARRIAGE. If he wants another womans company then there may be cause to examine yours and thats why you have worry…if you decided to sit with a man , alone in his home would you wonder why?? Christian friends are the kind that get together, with their mates, bible studies, church, restaurant, etc…for fellowship. Or woman to woman, men to men. We dont even allow only 2 people to watch over kids or teens anymore, its just too risky. The accusations and risks. Why? Because before we were christians, we are first human.
My husband and I have an understanding that I don’t do things with another man alone, and he doesn’t do things with a woman alone. It’s so that no one can question anyone’s integrity.
I don’t think the issue is the having a friend of the opposite sex, it’s trust. There’s a reason y’all were separated in the first place. If those issues from the initial separation haven’t been resolved then you’re going to spend a lot of time second guessing your spouse. Did he have female friends that he hung out with alone prior to y’all being separated? If so and it wasn’t a problem then, why is it an issue now? You’ve gotta search yourself to get to the root of the issue before approaching him about this. My spouse and I have friends of the opposite sex that we spend alone time with at their homes and it’s not an issue for us, we trust each other and openly communicate. Best of luck.
I’m old school. And that’s Nope! It is not ok. Acquaintance sure but no. No female friends he hangs out “alone” with.
If you have a problem with it, then he should 100% do everything you need to make you comfortable.
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Nope. If she is a his “friend” then you need to be included too. He wouldn’t like it if you went to a man’s home alone and “hung out”.
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I have been with my husband for 32 years married for 30, I have had a male best friend since the 3rd grade. My husband knew this from the start. My husband has never had a problem with it, this bestie I have, we have gone Christmas shopping, out to dinner, and to the movies together. My husband has never even thought that anything would happen cause he knows we are more like brother and sister. Has anything happened between me and the bestie? Yes it has before I ever met my husband, one time and we both agreed that it could never happen again cause it didn’t feel right since we were best friends. And it has never happened after that. This bestie hugs me, tells me he misses me, and tells me he loves me in front of my husband. And my husband does not care, why you ask? Cause at the end of the day my heart and all my love is with my husband. So yes you can have friends of the opposite sex. Just know the boundaries of where the lines get drawn. And yes my husband has female friends as well, he just isn’t close to them like I have been with mine all these years.
Being friends is okay but there is a limit. If he’s a Christian he should know better. Shame on him.
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A lone hanging out? No. Inappropriate. He should be respectful to not even consider it. In groups, especially with you there, different story.
It’s because you don’t like being cheated on… that’s why you do not like it…
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Yes…its a trust thing between spouses. And if they were friends before you and he were married…he already picked you.
No, especially since he met her while ya’ll were separated. Just asking for trouble. Just the way it is.
Period.
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We invite friends over of the opposite sex with each other’s knowledge they are coming, opinion is it’s okay, and if both spouses are there. Exception would be a girl friend of mine coming for a little bit. I talk to my husband, to let him know, and then approve plans with her. If it’s a guy friend, we make sure my husband is home so we keep boundaries and in the “safe zone”. He does the same with me. However, thank goodness he has, now, more guy friends than girl friends. Neither of which come over very often.
We just converse and make sure the both of us know. But meeting the person outside the home, other than public, is a no no. I’ve ran into an old guy friend in public and keep it short. He’s done the same.
I don’t think religion has a part in this but if I’m wrong correct me I think the question you should be asking yourself and him is do you trust him/himself enough not to do anything wrong also what about meeting the girl and hangout together just you two or all three of y’all to get a feel if she has the wrong intentions but it is %100 possible to have opposite sex friends that are strictly platonic and if they really have good intentions and just want to be friends is shouldn’t be a problem for you to meet her and have dinner or coffee if he or she declines than you have your answer🤷🏻♀️ I would want my husband to meet my friends and vice versa there’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting to know who your partner hangs out with.
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If you trust them than absolutely. I have guy friends and my fiancee has female friends. If you cant trust them why are with them is my way of seeing things
First red flag is don’t date unequally yoked. You probably can’t change his mind about his friendships via religious beliefs.
You need to be able to have boundaries. All relationships should be equal work and equal enjoyment.
I believe thart is perfectly fine to have friends of the opposite sex as long as tgere are some guidelines that are followed by both parties. There are no secret rendevous, texts or phone calls . your partner knows all of your friends and visa versa. Your partner knows all of your passwords to your cell phone . there are no reasons to suspect . maybe this seems a bit over the top but nowadays you never can be too safe . if you are up front about contacts and places you go with your partner and visa versa than it is less likely anyone could spread gossip . you know where they are . tgey know where you are . you should not ever be alone with the opposite sex …too much could happen or be .said .
Hummm. I am a married female who worked in all male environment. I had many Male friends. If they were married I made it a point to meet their wives. My husband was never jealous (hs became good friends with a couple of them). Yes, I think a man and woman can have a non sexual friendship.
It’s okay to have a female friend but not okay to go to her house& hang out alone.
Wow I’m sorry but that’s not fair…I’m in a very healthy relationship and his bff is a girl…she doesn’t live in our state anymore but they always keep in touch …I was married very young so my dating history isn’t great but I completely trust him…I have guy friends and he doesn’t care…I just connect better with dudes…you should trust in him…has he done something to make you think like that?
I was going to respond to this post, but the more I read it, if you don’t see the answer i don’t think anyone’s advice would help you.
Have female friends? Yea. Not a problem. Make special alone time with them at each other’s houses with no accountability and getting defensive about it? Big red flag. And being Christian or not has nothing to do with it. It’s a respect issue
I personally dont care if my man has friends that are women.
What I do care about is when that women becomes more then a friend and his ass starts cheating behind my back.
Which has happened.
Let’s just say, those girls arent a problem anymore after they heard what I had to say.
And after they heard about all his other “hoes” (cause that’s all they were to him, even tho he started relationships with all of them) yeah. They blocked him lol
And also after I posted there nudes on the internet for all to see.
No. Why aren’t you invited to hang out, too? If either of them had respect for you or your feelings, they wouldn’t do it or you would be included.
Ask to hang out with them if they just friends like they say it wouldn’t be problem. If he start acting funny then something going on.
I had a date with a guy once who was late because he said he was helping a friend of his who happened to be a girl. As soon as he told me this. I told him. Yeah this ain’t gonna work. And he said you ain’t telling me who I can be friends with. And I responded I never said that. Be friends with whoever you like. I’m just telling you I ain’t dealing with it. My man has his hands full with me. He ain’t got time to be “friends” with another woman. It’s about respect and true unconditional love for each other. I don’t give a rats ass about other men because my time is best spent with my best friend and husband. That’s where I choose and thankfully so does he. With each other. Don’t set yourself up in a situation where you could fall. Don’t put yourself or your spouse in a position to make choices between each other. You always loose. Just my humble opinion.
With you right by his side it’s fine but heck no never ever alone . It’s in respect for you